A Barracuda, Speedy Monzales, and a Luxurious W126 Benz: BS Inspections of the Heaps In The Heart Of Texas 24 Hours of LeMons

Murilee Martin
by Murilee Martin

I’m still recovering from having my tonsils hacked out with pinking shears, so I couldn’t get to Texas to judge at the 2011 season-ending 24 Hours of LeMons race at Eagles Canyon Raceway. Fortunately, the LeMons Supreme Court has tentacles everywhere, and they’ve sent in some photos showing how Friday’s prerace BS Inspection went down.

Even after a Fiat 131’s transmission failure blasted a giant hole in the car’s floor in New Jersey earlier this year, Poage Ma Thoin Racing hasn’t let that scare them out of running their Texas Brava.

NSF Racing, fresh off back-to-back Judges’ Choice (for their ultra-classy Mercedes-Benz 450SEL 6.9) and Index of Effluency (for their terrifyingly rusty 1963 Plymouth Fury) trophy wins, now brings a somewhat battered example of vintage Mopar muscle: this 1965 Barracuda with 340 and 4-speed. Knowing the aptly named NSF Racing, this thing is probably going to break in half 30 minutes after the green flag Saturday morning… and then they’ll fix it with zip ties.

Texans love their Taurus SHOs. Five of them showed up for the race. That means the one that keeps running will have four engine/transmission/suspension parts donors handy.

We’ve been agitating for someone to run a V8-powered W126 Mercedes-Benz, and so this 560SEL makes all the LeMons Perpetrators very happy. Who’s running it? Who else but slam-dunk 2011 Legend of LeMons honoree Brandon, who won the Index of Effluency with his W110 Benz in June and has spent the rest of the year dragging his terrible Jetta to LeMons races all over the country. Just look at this fine racing machine! No weak points!

This is some crucial racing gear right here.

The last time LeMons came to ECR, the strangely turbocharged (and barbecue/whiskey-still-equipped) Sensory Assault RX-7 won the Index of Effluency. Now the team is back, this time with a huge, rearward-facing turbo boost gauge. Why? To intimidate the competition. Now that’s racin’!









Murilee Martin
Murilee Martin

Murilee Martin is the pen name of Phil Greden, a writer who has lived in Minnesota, California, Georgia and (now) Colorado. He has toiled at copywriting, technical writing, junkmail writing, fiction writing and now automotive writing. He has owned many terrible vehicles and some good ones. He spends a great deal of time in self-service junkyards. These days, he writes for publications including Autoweek, Autoblog, Hagerty, The Truth About Cars and Capital One.

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  • Andy D Andy D on Dec 17, 2011

    I'm seeing a lot more than the 500$ maximum in some of those cars. Is that rule still observed?

    • See 1 previous
    • Racin_G73 Racin_G73 on Dec 18, 2011

      Are you counting safety equipment like roll cages, battery boxes, fuel cells, brakes and the like? Cause those are budget exempt. Like the other guys said, if you spend a little more than $500 to get a slow car ready for racing you're not going to get sweated for it. If you spend more than $500 to get a fast car faster, you're going to get BS laps. If you take a look at the results sheets after the event, you'll see cars who were penalized for going over budget with BS laps. One of the highest I saw was like -85 laps at Autobahn.

  • CougarXR7 CougarXR7 on Dec 18, 2011

    Old Monzas never die. They're just reincarnated as full-blown race cars. I have one. I'd like to know how he did his 5-lug brake conversion.

  • Tassos WARSAW VIP WOMEN USE POWER TOOLS TO WAX LYRICALLY ABOUT HOW MUCH OF A SERIOUS PERSON I AM!
  • FreedMike People are bringing up PHEVs, which I've shopped, and passed on. Why? Because they're great if what you want is high MPG, but if you're an enthusiast driver, your choices are going to be very limited unless you're willing to pop for a $50,000-or-up vehicle (which I'm not). Otherwise, your best choices are the Prius Prime or RAV4 Prime, and assuming you can actually put your mitts on one, and are willing to get bent over on price (both models are unicorns in my neck of the woods), neither is much fun to drive. That leaves you with a Mitsubishi CUV, or various other H/K CUVS, all of which are expensive for what you get, and aren't any fun to drive either. Hopefully there are better choices forthcoming.
  • Jkross22 I doubt it. If I have money for an extra fun car and all of the insurance, maintenance storage and gas needed, I'm not sure I'd even get one then.
  • 3-On-The-Tree I use Ridgid brand because it was on sale and got several extra batteries and drill. Haven’t had any issues in 5 years. I take my impact on trips in case I have to change a tire on I-10 to expedite the process so I don’t get run over.
  • 3-On-The-Tree To Bd2. A lot of the times there is no reply button next to the comment I want to reply to. Case in point on your comment only the “Like” icon is showing.
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