Moonshine, Nuns, and a Six-Cylinder 510: BS Inspections of the Charlotte 24 Hours of LeMons
Here we are at historic Charlotte Motor Speedway, after a long day of BS Inspections, and we’ve got quite an interesting field of cars preparing for tomorrow morning’s green flag.
We were a little disappointed that Dog Ciao racing replaced their Alfa Twin Cam engine with (gasp) a 1.8 liter Miata powerplant.
Their build-cost math didn’t quite work out for us, but they did have a pretty good Angry Birds theme.
I’ve never actually seen Angry Birds, so all this stuff was somewhat incomprehensible to me.
But the aftermath of the car’s launch into the “target birds” was pretty entertaining. We gave them some BS laps, but fewer than they’d have gotten with a lame-O theme.
For some reason, we had three teams with sombrero-based themes. Here’s one with a Benz.
And, of course, this Datsun 510 with L28 swap.
Sure, this team has destroyed all handling potential for their car, to gain a few dozen horsepower, but who cares? The only problem is that we don’t have an M20-swapped BMW 2002 to race against it… well, and the fact that the team added a $200 radiator that didn’t fit their budget. I hated giving them BS laps, but it’s my duty as a LeMons Supreme Court Justice.
Here’s a theme we hadn’t seen before: a Sentra SE-R made to look like a BMW E30 and then decorated with a “53% Off” Harbor Freight scheme.
The best part was all the stickers parodying Harbor Freight brands. Sadly, the car had a Cheatonium-239-enhanced JDM turbocharged engine under the hood (because, as the team claimed, “it was the only engine we could find”) and medium-sketchy documentation, to the BS Lap hammer had to fall again. Still, the great theme spared them from some of our wrath.
The Tunachuckers’ ’75 Ford LTD Laundau was back, this time with something every LTD should have: its own oil well. The Tunachuckers’ fellow Legends of LeMons, Speedycop and the Gang of Outlaws, will be bringing several great cars… but they haven’t arrived from Maryland yet. That’s normal for them, and we’re sure everything will be fine.
Speaking of Speedycop, somehow he managed to talk pro driver Randy Pobst into showing up and driving a couple of machines from the Speedycop racin’ fleet. I’m going to try to get Randy behind the wheel of the Team Goldbrick MGB-GT tomorrow.
Why not? It’s time that a British Leyland product leaves the E30s behind in a cloud of burning-electrical-insulation smoke. Check in tomorrow to find out what happened in the Where The Elite Meet To Cheat 24 Hours of LeMons’ first race session!
Murilee Martin is the pen name of Phil Greden, a writer who has lived in Minnesota, California, Georgia and (now) Colorado. He has toiled at copywriting, technical writing, junkmail writing, fiction writing and now automotive writing. He has owned many terrible vehicles and some good ones. He spends a great deal of time in self-service junkyards. These days, he writes for publications including Autoweek, Autoblog, Hagerty, The Truth About Cars and Capital One.
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My money is on Coronas to bring the trophy back to Tennessee!I've had more than a few beers with the team and they can finish.
The Fiero was parked behind our pit... most of Saturday and Sunday! I think the Fiero record of not finishing (not even completing half the hours) is still intact.