Moonshine, Nuns, and a Six-Cylinder 510: BS Inspections of the Charlotte 24 Hours of LeMons

Murilee Martin
by Murilee Martin

Here we are at historic Charlotte Motor Speedway, after a long day of BS Inspections, and we’ve got quite an interesting field of cars preparing for tomorrow morning’s green flag.

We were a little disappointed that Dog Ciao racing replaced their Alfa Twin Cam engine with (gasp) a 1.8 liter Miata powerplant.

Their build-cost math didn’t quite work out for us, but they did have a pretty good Angry Birds theme.

I’ve never actually seen Angry Birds, so all this stuff was somewhat incomprehensible to me.

But the aftermath of the car’s launch into the “target birds” was pretty entertaining. We gave them some BS laps, but fewer than they’d have gotten with a lame-O theme.

For some reason, we had three teams with sombrero-based themes. Here’s one with a Benz.

And, of course, this Datsun 510 with L28 swap.

Sure, this team has destroyed all handling potential for their car, to gain a few dozen horsepower, but who cares? The only problem is that we don’t have an M20-swapped BMW 2002 to race against it… well, and the fact that the team added a $200 radiator that didn’t fit their budget. I hated giving them BS laps, but it’s my duty as a LeMons Supreme Court Justice.

Here’s a theme we hadn’t seen before: a Sentra SE-R made to look like a BMW E30 and then decorated with a “53% Off” Harbor Freight scheme.

The best part was all the stickers parodying Harbor Freight brands. Sadly, the car had a Cheatonium-239-enhanced JDM turbocharged engine under the hood (because, as the team claimed, “it was the only engine we could find”) and medium-sketchy documentation, to the BS Lap hammer had to fall again. Still, the great theme spared them from some of our wrath.

The Tunachuckers’ ’75 Ford LTD Laundau was back, this time with something every LTD should have: its own oil well. The Tunachuckers’ fellow Legends of LeMons, Speedycop and the Gang of Outlaws, will be bringing several great cars… but they haven’t arrived from Maryland yet. That’s normal for them, and we’re sure everything will be fine.

Speaking of Speedycop, somehow he managed to talk pro driver Randy Pobst into showing up and driving a couple of machines from the Speedycop racin’ fleet. I’m going to try to get Randy behind the wheel of the Team Goldbrick MGB-GT tomorrow.

Why not? It’s time that a British Leyland product leaves the E30s behind in a cloud of burning-electrical-insulation smoke. Check in tomorrow to find out what happened in the Where The Elite Meet To Cheat 24 Hours of LeMons’ first race session!



































Murilee Martin
Murilee Martin

Murilee Martin is the pen name of Phil Greden, a writer who has lived in Minnesota, California, Georgia and (now) Colorado. He has toiled at copywriting, technical writing, junkmail writing, fiction writing and now automotive writing. He has owned many terrible vehicles and some good ones. He spends a great deal of time in self-service junkyards. These days, he writes for publications including Autoweek, Autoblog, Hagerty, The Truth About Cars and Capital One.

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  • BigEZ1961 BigEZ1961 on Sep 24, 2011

    My money is on Coronas to bring the trophy back to Tennessee!I've had more than a few beers with the team and they can finish.

  • TheVanBurenBoys TheVanBurenBoys on Sep 26, 2011

    The Fiero was parked behind our pit... most of Saturday and Sunday! I think the Fiero record of not finishing (not even completing half the hours) is still intact.

  • 2manyvettes Tadge was at the Corvette Corral at the Rolex 24 hour sports car race at the end of January 2023. During the Q&A after his remarks someone stood up and told him "I will never buy an electric Corvette." His response? "I will never sell you an electric Corvette." Take that Fwiw.
  • Socrates77 They're pinching pennies for the investors like always, greed has turned GM into a joke of an old corporate American greed.
  • Analoggrotto looking at this takes me right back to the year when “CD-ROM” first entered public lexicon
  • Alan My comment just went into the cloud.I do believe its up to the workers and I also see some simplistic comments against unionisation. Most of these are driven by fear and insecurity, an atypical conservative trait.The US for a so called modern and wealthy country has poor industrial relation practices with little protection for the worker, so maybe unionisation will advance the US to a genuine modern nation that looks after its workers well being, standard of living, health and education.Determining pay is measured using skill level, training level and risk associated with the job. So, you can have a low skilled job with high risk and receive a good pay, or have a job with lots of training and the pay is so-so.Another issue is viability of a business. If you have a hot dog stall and want $5 a dog and people only want to pay $4 you will go broke. This is why imported vehicles are important so people can buy more affordable appliances to drive to and from work.Setting up a union is easier than setting up work conditions and pay.
  • El scotto I can get the speedometer from dad's 72 Ford truck back. I can't get dad back.
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