As Long As We're On The Subject Of Those Miserable GM FWD Full-Sizers…
We don’t have such a thing as “COTD”* on “TTAC”. It’s a shame, too, because without an explicit way to force readers to compete with eachother for an arbitrarily-dispensed, meaningless accolade, you readers out there just won’t grovel at our feet the way we’d like. We’ll work on creating some kind of user rating/slating system, I swear… just as soon as we fix the gallery issues, the Cloudflare business, Ed’s issue with emotional distance, my lovable but ultimately malicious immaturity, and the lack of tall, busty blondes on the staff. I mean, on the roster. Not on the staff. You know. Not that we couldn’t use one or two on the staff. If you know what I mean, and I think you do.
Enough immaturity. In my Fleetwood Talisman review posted yesterday, the subject of GM’s identical B-and-C-cars came up… and a few commenters stepped up to the plate.
The video heading this segment is a famous Lincoln advertisement demonstrating the embiggenedness of the ’86 Town Car. Watch in amazement as a variety of slightly dopey old people try to sort out a hilarious confusion between the Cadillac deVille (or, sadly, Fleetwood of the same year), Buick Electra, and Oldsmobile Ninety-Eight. Watch as the camera focuses, again, and again, and again, on the toy-like C-pillar of the Cadillac. Here’s a shot of an ’85 Fleetwood showing just how ridiculous it looks:
Oh boy. Here’s the Park Avenue:
And, finally, the Ninety-Eight, flipped by yours truly for effect:
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What we have here is a company that focused on the technical without recognizing the spiritual. There are a lot of technical reasons for these cars, much of it good and reasonable. What we see today, however, is how soul-less and anticeptic they turned out to be. These cars were not Cadillacs, Oldsmobiles and Buicks - they were Chevrolets and Pontiacs in old people drag. The Cadillac was done in dowager drag, the Oldmobile was done in frump drag, and the Buick was done in Southern drag. Beneath the powdered wigs, girdles, blue hair, leopard skin velour and foundation garments, were Chevies. There is nothing wrong with a Chevrolet, but there is something wrong when a Buick buyer buys a Chevrolet with the Buick option. It isn't a Buick. GM focused on technical issues without considering how to ensure that each division's spirit lived on. What they ended up with were decent sedans interchangable within divisions. That made a mockery of the divisions as well. It should come as no surprise to see Cadillac, Buick and Oldsmobile plateauing and losing sales in the immediate future.
"These cars were not Cadillacs, Oldsmobiles and Buicks – they were Chevrolets and Pontiacs in old people drag." Um - except that there were no equivalent Chevrolet or Pontiac models in 1985. Pontiac didn't get a new Bonneville until the following year. There was never a Chevrolet on this platform as far as I know. My Mother-in-law still has a 1986 Olds Delta 88 Royale Brougham. It's in great garage-kept shape. She bought it because it was the only 'luxury car' without those 'darned electric windows'.