Question Of The Day: When The Price Of Purchase Is Not The Price Of Ownership…

Good news! Warner Bros. Jazz, still smarting from their loss of Pat Metheny to Nonesuch Records, has written me an enormous advance check for the rights to my newly-completed album. It’s titled The Most Beautiful Feeling: A Bossa Nova Tribute To Philip Michael Thomas, the buzz I’m hearing around the industry means I’m gonna have f*&%-you money before you know it.

I’ve decided to do something for you, my favorite TTAC reader. I’m willing to buy you any manufactured object which can be found on the market. Car, watch, musical instrument, plane, train, you name it. You want a Bugatti Sang Whatever? It’s yours. Got a hankering for a G6? I’ll meet you at the Gulfstream dealer or used Pontiac lot, cash in hand.

But there’s just one little catch…

I’m not good at maintaining relationships. So anything I buy you has to be within your capacity to run. Fuel, service, repair. It’s all your problem. Nor am I gonna let you just turn around and sell it. It’s yours to keep. So if I buy you the 928 GTS pictured above, you’d better understand what it takes to do the sparkplugs or you’re going to have a German lawn gnome before you know it.

Choose carefully. The cost of purchase is not the cost of ownership. As for me, I’m taking the money I don’t spend on you and taking a trip to my local aircraft salvage yard. Each fillup of Jet-A will cost me about seven grand, plus a little peroxide for the rockets. I can take two flights a year to the troposphere for same price as a season of club racing. I’m inclined to make the trade, so without further ado, the Lockheed NF-104a: