Range Anxiety(R)? Introducing Anti Arrival Angst(TM)

Bertel Schmitt
by Bertel Schmitt

Now that GM is thinking about trademarking “range anxiety,” the only choice left to Nissan is to do something about range anxiety. (Just in case GM is successful with their trademark application, we’ll call it Arrival Angst™ … remember, you’ve seen it here first, just in case we’ll have to call you as a witness.) According to The Nikkei [sub], Nissan “will offer buyers of its Leaf electric car a service to ease drivers’ dread of having the batteries run out while on the road.” (See, even The Nikkei is staying away from “range anxiety.” Alright, let’s trademark Distance Dread™ also.) So how will that service work?

First off, people will be able to check on their Leaf from a mobile phone or PC. Charge levels can be monitored remotely and the car can be commanded to recharge. That sounds like a pretty lame feature. The car has to be plugged-in for that anyway, so – why? Much better is the next feature: If the car does run out of juice while on the road, towing to the nearest dealership will be arranged. Arrival Angst™ no more, your friendly Nissan dealer will bail you out.

And finally, we know why Nissan is building a huge data center ( in an earthquake proof location), and what in the world did they mean when they were talking about transferring the “iPod model” to the car industry, and what were they thinking when they muttered something about marketing “ cars based on the value of the information they provide.”

The Anti Arrival Angst™ service won’t be free. It will cost 1,500 yen a month, or $17.50. It will also buy free checkups every six months, and pay for the cost of the first mandatory vehicle inspection. Even if you run out of juice in a desolate part of Japan (which is very hard to find), don’t worry, you’ll be fine: Up to 550,000 yen, or approximately $6,500 in expenses incurred in emergencies will be covered as well. Just imagine what a one month subscription of Valium would cost you, and you’ll appreciate the value of the Anti Arrival Angst™ service. (Nissan: Please contact TTAC for affordable license terms.) And of course you already know the acronym for Anti Arrival Angst™ . AAA is coming to Japan!


Bertel Schmitt
Bertel Schmitt

Bertel Schmitt comes back to journalism after taking a 35 year break in advertising and marketing. He ran and owned advertising agencies in Duesseldorf, Germany, and New York City. Volkswagen A.G. was Bertel's most important corporate account. Schmitt's advertising and marketing career touched many corners of the industry with a special focus on automotive products and services. Since 2004, he lives in Japan and China with his wife <a href="http://www.tomokoandbertel.com"> Tomoko </a>. Bertel Schmitt is a founding board member of the <a href="http://www.offshoresuperseries.com"> Offshore Super Series </a>, an American offshore powerboat racing organization. He is co-owner of the racing team Typhoon.

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  • GarbageMotorsCo. GarbageMotorsCo. on Sep 22, 2010

    And when and if GM releases there own EV, the "range anxiety" scare tactic will suddenly go away, never to be mentioned again.

  • Nonce Nonce on Sep 22, 2010

    My inner economist is pleased. If the company thinks their customers are over-worried about this problem, the company is in a good position to sell them insurance against it. Even better, they are well suited to handle all the risks themselves.

  • MaintenanceCosts It's not a Benz or a Jag / it's a 5-0 with a rag /And I don't wanna brag / but I could never be stag
  • 3-On-The-Tree Son has a 2016 Mustang GT 5.0 and I have a 2009 C6 Corvette LS3 6spd. And on paper they are pretty close.
  • 3-On-The-Tree Same as the Land Cruiser, emissions. I have a 1985 FJ60 Land Cruiser and it’s a beast off-roading.
  • CanadaCraig I would like for this anniversary special to be a bare-bones Plain-Jane model offered in Dynasty Green and Vintage Burgundy.
  • ToolGuy Ford is good at drifting all right... 😉
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