By on March 18, 2010

Some people just don’t get ‘it’. My wife can’t understand why I like Davesfarm videos and Bruce Springsteen. I can’t understand why she listens to whiny effeminate men who pretend to be musicians. Fair enough… we’re living up to our gender driven destinies. But then there’s the myth of an ‘educated’ person.

Enlightened folk of modern times are not supposed to like ‘childish’ things such as streakers, muscle cars, belching, and most of all.. professional wrestling. But all of those things still put an ear to ear grin on my middle-aged face… taste police be damned. So let’s take two of those things, cars and wrestlers, and have some fun with it. I’m going to write a simple phrase that describes an old wrestler AND a car company (living and dead). You figure out who and what it is. Note: I will accept more than one right answer if need be.

More or less peaked in the mid-1990’s. Never had a lot of charisma but technically excellent for a very long time. The only reason why folks are willing to pay for em’ now is for the ‘reputation’ of days of yore.

Quirky and fun as hell. Looks a bit funny in person and always at it’s best when hyper and high strung. Rose to prominence in the 1980’s and been part of the scene ever since. One goes through ruts, the other coconuts.

Elderly genetic freakshow. Only old men would bother to buy into the act. You can’t help to find them both on TV every week somewhere. Both the brand and the person are part of organizations that bought out the competition at various times.

Damn! Truly rugged and been around for decades. If our nation went to war they would still be fine.

Bulky and incredibly difficult to maneuver. Overpriced and not entertaining at all in person. Both of them ‘married’ into the business.

Perfection… but not really. Both had the reputation of being leaders but struggled for decades to go beyond the ‘bland cliche’. One is surviving and the other sadly passed on.

Tries to be hip and youthful… and yet both eventually appealed to middle aged women. The get up may look good on a teenager. But on the real thing it’s just plain dumb.

A sterling reputation for always lasting a long time. Yet it will break the bank and eventually make you lose lots of money… been doing that for decades. The pinnacle was reached during the 1970’s to mid 1980’s. When it’s all over you’ll go, “Wooooo!!!”.

Both are well known for motorcycles. Even when the styles change, the substance of what makes them awesome is still there. One is best when small. The other is a big man and seven feet tall (supposedly).

Real Americans. They wore their colors through the decades and have always identified themselves as American when the going got really tough. Long time industry critics love to hate them.

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21 Comments on “Hammer Time: Rowdy Roddy Piper...”


  • avatar
    dejal

    Loved Roddy in “They Live”. Dumb movie, but a lot of fun.

  • avatar
    mpresley

    As a kid the parents knew a rich German family. The elder drove a big Merc, back in the day when no one drove Mercedes. His son had two Corvettes. Those were the days when, as kids, all we knew was that Jan Berry was still alive, but no one could understand it very well after viewing the wreckage on television. Anyhow, this neighbor loved pro wrestling, and he used to take me to the matches in his Merc. I’d never been in a Mercedes–my old man had an Oldsmobile. The Mercedes was like riding in a spaceship, or probably more like driving a living room full of expensive furniture around town.

    I remember Eddie Graham going up against Boris “The Great” Malenko; something called a Russian Chain match, the object being to drag your opponent around each corner of the “squared circle” all the time being attached by 15 feet of steel chain. The first wrestler able to accomplish it won. Of course your opponent had to be pretty much unconscious for it to work. Back then, Russians were hateful and evil. It was a time of guys like Khrushchev and Brezhnev, and they were the enemy. Also, back in the day pro wrestlers weren’t juiced up ‘roid freaks, but only hard working men that liked to drink beer and brawl. Yet the best were true showmen. Everyone kind of knew it wasn’t real, but only kind of.

    The venue was an aluminum framed arena with dirt floor. Beer flowed, and cigarette smoke made things difficult to see clearly. One thing was certain, you didn’t want to be tied up in 20 feet of chain, especially when the guy at the other end was a half crazed Russian named Malenko. Unless your name was Graham, that is. The match was brutal and took a lot out of us spectators. Driving back home in the big Merc there was mostly silence. What was left to say? However, the next day us kids got together and staged our own “matches.” We never took Gordon Solie’s advice “don’t try this at home” seriously.

  • avatar
    ajla

    1. Steven/William Regal and Toyota
    2. Piper and Subaru
    3 Hogan and Lincoln
    4. Road Warriors and Jeep
    5. Kevin Nash and HUMMER
    6. Curt Hennig and Lexus
    7. Shawn Michaels and Mazda
    8. Ric Flair and Mercedes-Benz
    9. Undertaker and Honda
    10. Kurt Angle (?) and AMC

    • 0 avatar
      Bancho

      Great calls and I agree with all but two:

      7. I’m not sure about Mazda and middle aged women. I see mostly guys driving them. Sadly, I can’t think of another make to put in there except maybe VW?

      10. I think Chrysler may fit better here?

  • avatar
    Stingray

    What’s wrong with liking Springsteen?

    Sadly I can’t hear Born in the USA at full volume in this commie POS of country anymore without fearing being called a CIA agent. I wasn’t born there, but the song is cool anyway. Same (coolness) with others like Murder Incorporated and Blood Brothers, to name a few.

    The same question applies to Muscle Cars, I’d love to buy a current Challenger, be it STR or R/T, but with a HEMI.

    On the professional wrestling, I differ. But I like demo derbys :)

    And that video was FTMFW!!!!

    • 0 avatar
      Juniper

      Dude, you need to move.

    • 0 avatar
      psarhjinian

      That always surprises me because it’s not like “Born in the USA” is patriotic.

    • 0 avatar
      ruckover

      psarhjinian,
      patriotic, not jingoistic.

    • 0 avatar

      Ruckover,

      Born In The USA is highly critical of the US, so you think it’s patriotic. I’m highly critical of President Obama, so you probably think I’m a jingoist racist.

      Of course from someone with Bruce’s intellectual abilities one shouldn’t expect deep analysis. Bruce should stick to singing Twist & Shout and leave the serious stuff to real lyricists.

      I’m not sure if BITUSA is still patriotic though. Dissent used to be the highest form of patriotism, but then Obama got elected. Now if a reporter digs for a real answer, he isn’t being “deferential” enough.

      But what do I know? Build a nuclear bomb and threaten to kill 6 million Jews? Worthy of Obama extending his hand in friendship. Build some apartment buildings a few blocks from downtown Jerusalem? Worthy of frenzied condemnation.

    • 0 avatar
      Russycle

      Yes, we all remember how dissent was tolerated during the Bush years, when Cindy Sheehan was arrested for wearing a tee shirt:
      http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/01/31/sheehan.arrest/

  • avatar
    golden2husky

    I, too, really dig Davidsfarm videos and I am hardly what you would call an uneducated redneck. Some posters here have posted on his website…you guys know who you are…

  • avatar
    Sanman111

    Ajla, good guesses! I differ on a few though

    1. Sting and Toyota
    2. Piper and Subaru
    3 Hogan and Cadillac
    4. Hacksaw Jim Duggan and Jeep
    5. Triple H and HUMMER
    6. Kurt Hennig and Lexus
    7. Shawn Michaels and Scion
    8. Ric Flair and Mercedes-Benz
    9. Undertaker and Honda
    10. Kurt Angle and Chrysler or Chevy

  • avatar
    Jeff Waingrow

    As an aging boomer, much of what I’m reading here is Greek. But before I went away to college, long ago, I loved stock car and drag racing (W/ my ’57 Chevy), motorcycles, roadside bars, muscle cars, the whole car scene. Still do, somewhat.(With two 356 Porsches and an Alfa, I got to know mechanics extremely well back then.) And while an Obama supporter and I guess what you’d call a liberal, I’m deeply skeptical of the way the government and big business (including banks, of course) collude to screw the average guy while flattering him with cynical appeals to patriotism and the supposed all-American rough and tumble. You know, the good times as portrayed in truck commercials. Who’s kidding whom? The working people of this country give their blood and sweat and they get back clever manipulation in return. I just wish the generalized anger this creates was directed more at the real culprits who are pulling the strings behind the curtains.

  • avatar
    texlovera

    It’s funny, once pro wrasslin’ got really big in the 80’s (WWF, Hogan, Flair, etc.) I didn’t really follow it much. But I was pretty heavily into it back when it was a more “regional” thing in the late 60’s to early 80’s.

    San Antonio had All-Star (later World Class) Wrestling. Ivan Putski, Joe & Tully Blanchard, Mil Mascaras, The Brute – I remember watching them at the old Municipal Auditorium, Hemisfair Arena, and the Wrestlethon. And the Spanish-language KWEX showed Lucha Libre from Los Angeles – great stuff.

    In a way, that paralleled my interest in cars – much greater prior to the mid-80’s (although that’s picked back up in my old age…)

    • 0 avatar
      rnc

      Yuppers wrestlin was huge in texas in the early 80’s. The Von Ericks vs. the Fabulous Free Birds and the epic battles between Kerry and Flair (at some point Flair would use the figure four leg lock and at some point Kerry would use the patented von erick iron claw) and as a little kid it sure seemed real as hell. I remember them selling out the cotton bowl for that crap one year (83 or 84). I stopped watching around that time. Sad note, all seven of the von erick brothers committed suicide one after the other.

    • 0 avatar
      texlovera

      And just to complete the wrasslin’-automobile nexus, I remember that at one time, World Class Wrestling had a local Chevy dealer as its big (maybe sole?) TV sponsor. I even remember the one announcer also did the ads! Ah, the godd ol’ daze.

  • avatar
    Steven Lang

    And now for the answers (at least my answers)…

    1) Bret Hart and Toyota
    2) Piper and Subaru
    3) Vince McMahon and Cadillac
    4) Ron Simmons and Jeep
    5) HHH and Hummer
    6) Curt Hennig and Lexus
    7) John Cena and Scion
    8) Ric Flair and Mercedes-Benz
    9) Undertaker and Honda
    10) Hogan and Chevrolet

    NOTE: The writer is a big fan of all these guys (really). All write-up’s that were negative were only meant to reflect the ‘public persona’ of a heel and not the awe inspiring respect I genuinely have for what these guys have done.

    But then again, to put it in the words of a Dwayne Johnson, “I challenge any of these jabrones I’ve mentioned to step inside THIS ring and write an article about their travels.”

    The challenge is open…

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