Hammer Time: Eye of the Zeitgeist

Steven Lang
by Steven Lang

I fell in love with Chrysler back in 1991. Really. The LH sedans were the first four door cars I ever wanted to buy. Sports car looks. 214 horsepower. Of course they were just in the developmental stage back then with only a Viper or two out in the real world. I didn’t care. As I studied more of Chrysler’s other show cars of that time and reflected on the company’s restructuring measures (I was an industry wonk even then), I smelled the opportunity of an 18 year old’s lifetime. I bought 260 shares of Chrysler at just over $10 a share. Two years later I thought LH stood for, “Lordy Hallelujah!” as I spent my newfound fortune on babes and booze. Make that one babe who thankfully became my wife, and a laptop computer.

Today everyone is still singing automotive praises… about Ford. The Fiesta will truly be a celebration. The F-150, Taurus, and Fusion all seem to be on solid ground. Heck, even the MKS is a marketable vehicle if you have the right color scheme on it. But there is one unavoidable reason why the chorus of congratulations is so loud for Ford. The stock price. Within the last year Ford has gone from the near abyss to the near profit. It’s always well and good to be a Monday morning quarterback. But I believe there’s one other company that will be even better.

Hyundai? That ship has sailed. Personally I find all of their designs to be derivative and I think the Genesis is a completely ugly piece of crap. The new Sonata? I just can’t embrace that look. A Korean car company stealing German designs with crayola quality interior accompaniments doesn’t do it for me. Hyundai found the plot about five years ago with their small cars but now, they’re trying to reach a premium look with botox inspired plastic panels. I don’t see it becoming the next spirit of the times and I don’t think the market will either.Where do I see this going? One direction thanks to China, India and Obama (and Bush). Efficient cars that are fun to drive. I’m not talking about small cars that look like wedged pieces of cheese. With five star safety ratings and airbags aplenty, I can see models of all shapes and sizes start to encroach on the territory of the midsized cars. Just as minivans were snubbed by ever larger SUV Sally’s and Sam’s, the under-30 new car shoppers (all three of them) will look past the Boomeresque splendor of Grandpa’s Camry and choose something that is unique. Even a bit ugly at times, but unique.

So I am throwing my first gauntlet towards something almost all of you truly hate. The Honda CR-Z. The B&B have been saying ‘Eeeewwww!!!!’ to the design for the longest time now. But let me ask you. Is it uglier than a Camry? OK, let me throw in an even bigger thought out there. Are the overwhelming majority of cars out there even remotely good looking? Or do they all look like bulbous and deformed jellybeans of varying types. If you picked B then you’re going to truly appreciate what I’m about to say.

The Honda CR-Z will be brilliant. Not perhaps for ‘looks’ but for image. It will be absolutely perfect for the times because it hits every strong societal G-spot that’s out there and then some. Frugal? Yes. Fun? For folks whose idea of fun is watching a display light up in mpg’s… yes. Is it a Prius? No, so it gets double points for that because everybody’s mother or nerdy uncle already has one of those boreathons. All kidding aside, I’ve driven it’s ancestor for nearly 6 months and 20,000 miles now and it’s a complete revelation. It makes my late model S-Class feel like an antique (albeit a quiet one) and it involves me in the daily driving experience in a way that no other car can.

55 miles per gallon. Tons of room. As flickable as a New Jersey switchblade with enough feel for the road to give it an almost 1st generation Miata like quality. The new CR-Z will not hit the same MPG’s or even the same weight class as my Insight. But compared to what else is out there… there will simply be nothing else quite like it. Except for maybe a Kia Soul, or the dreadful Nissan Cube, or that contemptible Italian piece from Chrysler that will ultimately be the last hurrah for that company. Speaking of that, I’m thinking that when the Ram brand and tooling get sold off, Honda will buy it. That and an unbreakable grip on everything Accord sized and under will make Honda the next winner.
Steven Lang
Steven Lang

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  • Lawmonkey Lawmonkey on Mar 26, 2010

    If anyone hears anything about the throttle hang on this thing, let me know. Honda's current trend (in civic, then fit) is to have some kind of weird emissions-based half second between clutch pedal being pushed and revs dropping. I had an 02 RSX-s and now have an 09 civic-si - same-ish engine, but now the dreaded rev hang. It really makes the experience worse (if your are going up an on ramp onto a freeway at around 8000 rpm, and need to drop to a highway-friendly 3000 for 6th gear, it takes that much longer). If honda holds onto that for even their sporty models, I can't see it ending well for slowing the brand's toyotafication. I can only imagine it will be weirder in a hybrid.

  • Monty Monty on Mar 26, 2010

    Methinks some of you are missing Mr. Lang's point about why this will sell. For a lot of people in every generation, cars sell for emotional and irrational reasons (mid to late '70's Oldsmobile Cutlass coupes and 90's Ford Explorers as good examples). This car may just hit the sweet spot of being a little odd looking and something your parents and grandparents would not want to drive. It will be the backlash vehicle for all the Camrys, Prius', Highlanders and Pilots that the adults are all driving. I don't like it, nor do I think it's cool, ergo my son loves it, and says it's cool in an ironic sense. If he had the means at his disposal right now, he would be pre-ordering one, in a bright colour such as orange or yellow, because all the old people all drive gray cars.

  • MaintenanceCosts It's not a Benz or a Jag / it's a 5-0 with a rag /And I don't wanna brag / but I could never be stag
  • 3-On-The-Tree Son has a 2016 Mustang GT 5.0 and I have a 2009 C6 Corvette LS3 6spd. And on paper they are pretty close.
  • 3-On-The-Tree Same as the Land Cruiser, emissions. I have a 1985 FJ60 Land Cruiser and it’s a beast off-roading.
  • CanadaCraig I would like for this anniversary special to be a bare-bones Plain-Jane model offered in Dynasty Green and Vintage Burgundy.
  • ToolGuy Ford is good at drifting all right... 😉
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