By on January 19, 2010

MINI-malism (courtesy:WCF)

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32 Comments on “What’s Wrong With This Picture: My What A MINI SUV You Have Edition...”

  • avatar

    Not only should this be under WTF, we need a “answers to questions nobody asked” file around here.

  • avatar

    For you, I make this happen with $10k, lift kit, paint and a 2005 Scion xA.

  • avatar

    The only thing mini about that picture is the shorts on the cute girl.

    • 0 avatar

      And once she falls pregnant, adds a few pounds and a couple of grey hairs, she will be able to put 3 baby chairs inside it, then soccer balls, and she will still feel the memories of the days when she could fit into those white shorts!!  (Think about it, this is no joke … same as the progression which drives “vehicle re-design size inflation” and drove aging boomers away from minivan to SUV …)

    • 0 avatar

      The shame is that those shorts aren’t short enough.

  • avatar
    John R

    I thought I’ve seen this before…

  • avatar

    What you don’t see is the girl is actually 7’2″  (thats just a guess, I have no idea).

  • avatar

    Why Mini? Are you really hurting for sales? I’m waiting for the Mini Minivan.

  • avatar

    This actually isn’t that bad, assuming the human model in the photo isn’t too tall.  Some people might appreciate the higher hip point.
    Now, that said, is this pretty much just a four-door Clubman with a lift-kit?

  • avatar

    “If you build it, they will yawn…”

  • avatar
    Brian E

    I’m going to be contrarian. I like it. There were a huge number of Mini variants back in the day, so this isn’t a brand destroying its heritage. It’s clearly a Mini inside and out. If it handles at all like the regular Mini, it’ll be a blast to drive. What’s the problem, other than the stupid “crossover” terminology instead of just calling it the wagon it is?

    • 0 avatar

      I obviously haven’t seen a mini recently *ponder*  I like it (well enough) too.
      Everyone who doesn’t like it answer me this:
      Did you like the allroad?
      It’s just a frickin’ mini allroad, nothing wrong with that!  They make a lowered FWD version of that now (called tha A3) . . . there’s the real travesty ;)

    • 0 avatar

      “There were a huge number of Mini variants back in the day”
      No there weren’t.  There was the Mini and there was the Mini Van – that’s it. You could get the mini as an Austin, Morris, Wolseley with engines from 850cc to 1285cc Coopers. The only minor variation was the ugly Riley with a small trunk. (Boot).
      All of these very similar vehicles were less than half the size of a modern Mini and they sold OK for 40 years. BMW is simply impatient. They want another ‘BRAND’.

  • avatar

    She’s paying more attention to the car than to me?

  • avatar

    It doesn’t look that tall, and it looks like it possesses more wagony goodness than the goofy Clubman. I’m kind of diggin’ it. As SUVs go, it’s still small, and as psarhjinian said, the higher hip point might make it a more attractive Mini for some. Mini can’t survive on just 2 models, and this isn’t a total bastardization of the brand in the same way that the Cayenne is for Porsche. Now get it to showrooms.

    • 0 avatar

      Mini is not Smart, it can survive on a single model because its channel is BMW (and the vehicle of a much more mainstream size and configuration too).   Mini is no more a stand-alone brand than the 3-series is.

      Cayenne is an unattractive car, but heck, it found a niche formerly not open to Porsche to catch the market-segment for fat-overpaid-CEO’s-that-can’t-get-away-from-their-wife-and-kids-who-think-it-makes-them-look-cool-and-youthful (downside is that you create a form of inflation by having to buy BMWs and Audis for all those managers below you to justify having such a corpulent corporate clown car, or enabling its replacement with an X7, truly) for yourself even as your EBITDA comes under increasing pressure.) 

      Maybe MiniAWD reflects a new sensibility for finding a similar niche at a lower price-point.

  • avatar

    I think the Led Zeppelin song “What is & what should never be” must have been inspired by this pox on the Mini brand.

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  • avatar

    What wrong with that picture?  The model’s shorts are too baggy.  And long.
    Oh yeah, there’s a car there, too.  Didn’t notice the first time.

  • avatar
    cole carrera

    To bitch about it is incorrect and only you would do it.

  • avatar

    I thought it would be answered by now since it is so utterly obvious…. she’s not wearing black shoes and the Mini doesn’t have dark-tinted windows.

  • avatar

    Two colleagues at work own Minis.  They both have the latest i-phone, take vacations to California wine country, and wear shirts with the polo guy on it.  Neither look as good in white shorts, probably.

  • avatar

    I’m sure GM would happily part with the trademark for the name “Aztek” if BMW wants it.

  • avatar

    Could it be the black and white? I’m diggin’ this!

  • avatar

    If this thing sells, expect to see Daimler green-light the reanimation of the Smart ForMore…

  • avatar

    What’s wrong with the picture is that it looks like the girl has a penis under those short shorts.

    • 0 avatar

      Sort of a “Mini woodie” going on there – WTF?
      Oh, this is a car site…
      For anyone who was asking: “What’s missing from mayonnaise? Ah… CHUNKS!”
      We present: Tartar Sauce.

  • avatar

    CNN said today on their website that this was a go-ahead for next year….whatEVER…

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