By on January 24, 2010

Man Who Voluntarily Chose to Buy GMC Canyon Elected to U.S. Senate
Voters in Massachusetts have chosen a man who bought a GMC Canyon as their next representative to the U.S. Senate

According to reports, Senator-Elect Scott Brown voluntarily purchased the 5-cylinder truck, with either his own money or a bank loan. “As far as we know, there was no coercion involved in Brown’s purchase of the vehicle, the worst truck in America” said Sgt. Pete Malloy, of the Boston Police Department.

The GMC Canyon, based on an Isuzu design and featuring the world’s worst engine currently in production, has typically been the truck of choice of people who “You wouldn’t trust to buy your groceries, let alone vote on foreign policy,” remarked Evan Smith of the think tank and publisher Council on Foreign Relations.

Voters apparently didn’t mind Brown’s choice of Canyon, however. Amanda Eisler, 23, of Springfield told MetaCars, “I don’t see how his choice of car is important. Senator Brown is like real smart and has good judgment, just like my dad.” When asked, Eisler said her father is also an auto enthusiast. “He’s got a Suzuki Verona and a Chrysler Sebring sedan.”

American Car Fan Says Next Year is the Year He’ll Finally Get into F1

An American auto enthusiast says next year it the year he’ll finally ‘get into’ Formula One racing.

“It’s always on all the blogs and I feel like I should watch. Fast cars are involved – you know I love fast cars. Last year I tried but fell asleep. The year before a lot of the races were on at 3AM, and I didn’t wake up for my alarm,” said Paul Mann, 31, of Miami, FL.

Formula One races, long considered some of the most watched sporting events in the world, are not popular in America. MetaCars spoke with media expert Jeffrey Moore for his opinion. “It’s a bit like soccer really. Everybody plays soccer as a kid, the same way that we all drive cars. Then we all say we’re going to follow the international professional versions, like FIFA and F1. But you try it and it’s just too damn boring.”

MINI: Shoppers Clamoring For Expensive Four Seat Crossovers

MINI has revealed its next model, the Countryman, a four seat crossover that is promised to be even more popular than the MINI Clubfoot.

“People are just demanding four seat crossover vehicles. Headroom and seating have been excessive in cars for too many years. The Countryman will help the market correction with fewer seats, less headroom, general feelings of crampedness, and a high price tag,” said spokesman Herman Scofield.

BMW says has taken everything it has learned from vehicles like the 1-Series hatch and X6 in crafting this new Countryman, which promises to be even more cramped inside than it looks. “We have all sorts of innovations to waste the interior space,” explains Scofield, “The seats are funny shapes. Weird round plastic panels will cut into the cargo area. In fact, with the rear seats in use, there is no cargo area. Do you have any idea how hard that was to engineer?”

American buyers are particularly excited at the opportunity to pay $20,000-$30,000 for a vehicle with four seats and 120 horsepower. “My BMW 318ti is on its last legs, and the 138 horsepower is way more than I can use. This is the kind of vehicle I have been waiting for. I think I can count on the AWD to slow it down enough as well,” observes Scott Haldon, 41, of South Attleboro, MA.

Area Man May Not Finish Project Car This Year

A Des Moines, Iowa man may not finish his project car this year, much to the disappointment of his wife. David Richards, 48, just doesn’t think he can get his 1969 AMC Ambassador done in 2010, let alone by his original goal of the spring or summer. “We were hoping to use it as a nice summer cruiser. But I have to be realistic. I might be only 18 or 19% done,” said Richards — who seemed confident in the precision of his estimate.

Richards’ wife, according to neighbors, is unhappy about the delay. “She was yelling at him last night. I could hear it from the backyard. She kept asking when he was going to get that rusty piece of junk out of the garage so she can park her car in there for the winter.”

This is not the first time Richards has had to delay the completion of his AMC Ambassador project. In the spring of 2007 and the summer of 2008 he also was unable to meet restoration deadlines. Richards cites his primary problems as being a lack of time, money, and available parts, and also the fact that the Ambassador is “seriously rusting to nothing.”

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43 Comments on “The MetaCars Week In Review...”

  • avatar

    “I might be only 18 or 19% done,” said Richards — who seemed confident in the precision of his estimate.

    Best line of the piece.

    Topic Suggestion:

    Watch a few minutes of any of “The Build”-type shows on Speed and I’m sure something will come to mind.

  • avatar

    Nice try, there. Hope to see you try again next week!

    Believe it or not, the Senator’s GMC influenced me to consider a GMC Canyon as my next vehicle. Not because of the politics, mind you, but because now there’s pictorial evidence that the vehicle can actually run for 200,000 miles.

  • avatar

    In 2004 before buying the warranty-worthless Silverado, the worst new or used vehicle purchase of my multi-decades upon this planet, I poked and prodded the Colorado and its sister whatever label was upon it.

    I laughed aloud inside the display room as pulling up or down just slightly upon the open door caused the cab to flex far out of proportion to the amount of effort placed upon the door.

    I feared causing welds to snap and envisioned the cab collapsing.

    “Cheap” screamed the trucklet. “Shoddy workmanship” shouted the vehicle everywhere I looked.

    “Clink” echoed the thin light doors as I closed them gently, fearful of damaging the toy-like portals.

    A second guffaw accompanied peering at the price.

    An incredulous stare was levied against the sales droid who attempted to convince me of the numerous positives to be had with purchasing what was obviously a sub-par in many ways junky Vega-like trucklet.

    How sad to be a man without honor. Or so stupid if the droid actually believed the trucklet was anything but sub-par.

    • 0 avatar

      I drive a trucklet, and I say to you, sir, that’s no trucklet.

      BTW, what happened to the post editor? Why, I can remember when we flew rings around the moon, and now we’re down to text-only posts?

  • avatar

    When the Brown campaign really took off, just a few weeks ago, I started hearing about this “old truck” that he drove all over the state. Now when I hear something lovingly referred to as an old truck, I thought of 60’s, 70’s, maybe 80’s. Then I saw it was an 05 Canyon and almost died!

  • avatar

    The Canyon tells volumes about Brown’s political shrewedness. Remember how Obama drove Chrysler 300C with all sorts of bling when he passed for an African-American in South Chicago? And then switched to Escape Hybrid for the presidential campaign? Well, I don’t, because I did not even know he’s done that when he campaigned. Now Brown out-obamaed Obama.

    As for some of those things being able to rack miles, I don’t doubt it at all. There used to be a national club for 200K Neons. National. Club. And they did not have just 2 members in it either. Vestiges of it were later integrated into, I think. {Edit: I failed to break into the club because I got rid of the thing at 178k miles).

  • avatar

    It may be considered the worst truck on the market by some, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re automatically buying a bad truck. Just that there are supposedly better alternatives out there.

  • avatar

    Colbert showed the clip of him saying “you elected me AND I DRIVE A TRUCK”. My girl and I were joking what if he said “you elected me AND I DRIVE A FORD PINTO.” or “you elected me AND I DRIVE A GREMLIN! AND MY OTHER CAR IS A PACER!”

  • avatar

    F1 would be a tiny bit more popular in the US if one could get SpeedTV without an expensive cable package. But the excitement is mostly off the track anyhow, so thanks to the many F1 gossip sites, one can stay on top of it.

    And can you believe WRC rallying isn’t even shown in US at all?!

    • 0 avatar

      Hallelujah Brother! I miss the old Speedvision. Ever since Fox took it over, nothing but NASCAR. We used to see Australian V8 sedans, Dakar Rally, BTCC, DTM, WRC, Isle of Man (TT), airplane races, boat races, German auto test shows, old US auto test shows, viewer generated videos…and it was basic cable, too!!!

      Now we get F1, NASCAR quiz shows, monster trucks, and hundreds and hundreds of hours of Pass Time repeats. Oh and tow-truck shows.

      Yeah. And on my premium cable package, too.

      Woo. Hoo.

    • 0 avatar

      Tosh, I get WRC coverage in the U.S. It’s available on Discovery HD Theater. AFAIK, there’s no live coverage, but HD makes up for a lot.

  • avatar
    Justin Berkowitz

    By the way, since it wouldn’t be TTAC without the tangential political discussion —

    Brown didn’t win because of he appeared in pictures with his truck. That’s like attributing his win to tucking his shirt in. Hey, we all prefer a candidate who tucks his shirt in to one that doesn’t.

    He won because his opponent didn’t run a campaign, turnout in Massachusetts was huge, dissatisfaction with Obama led the left base not to vote and the right to vote in big numbers, and because the media made it sound like this election was a referendum on a controversial healthcare bill.

    Find someone who voted for Brown because of — and only because of — him driving around in a pickup truck, and I’ll give you a dollar. I have a number of bridges for sale, and I need to talk to this person.

    • 0 avatar

      Actually, Berkowitz, there were a few more problems with his opponent, Martha Coakley (known as ‘Marcia’ to my often drug-addled Congressman, Patches Kennedy).

      1) The woman accused Curt Schilling of being a Yankees fan.
      2) The woman turned up her nose in disdain over the thought of pressing the flesh at Fenway in January – who needs those mouth-breathing sports-loving peasants?
      3) The woman is the tricentennial edition of the prosecutor/judge in the original Salem witch trials. This one isn’t funny, not at all. Not for the guy who spent 15 years in jail for a crime nobody now thinks he committed and not for the young adults who were brainwashed into believing they were molested by the recovered memory consultants. Didn’t that happen in Oregon also – what’s wrong with these liberal states, anyway?

    • 0 avatar
      Justin Berkowitz


      Sure. Just more reasons though that the truck wasn’t the election maker.

    • 0 avatar

      Justin Berkowitz: …and because the media made it sound like this election was a referendum on a controversial healthcare bill.

      I believe that the President himself did that, with a huge assist from a Democratic Congress.

      President Obama said to Massachusetts voters prior to the election: “It’s clear now that the outcome of these and other fights will probably rest on one vote in the United States Senate. That’s why what happens Tuesday in Massachusetts is so important.”

      This wasn’t the media’s fault. It’s clear that President Obama himself was more than happy to make this vote a referendum on his health care plan.

  • avatar

    Oh, man… Mr. Brown drives a Canyon… that’s too bad, the resale value of those is just abysmal. I mean, if the poor guy ever finds himself hit by hard times and has to sell it off to pay his outrageous health insurance premiums…

    What? What’s that? You say he’ll be okay for the next 6 years?


    • 0 avatar

      Acutally… he only has job security for the next 2 years. He has to fight again in 2012.
      I think it was also mentioned that he has endured over 200k miles in the truck… yikes.
      So the thing is already worthless.
      The worst part is, he spent 200k in it.

  • avatar

    When you work hard and make good decisions in life you don’t have to worry about outrageous health insurance premiums, depreciation of your vehicles, or anything else monetary related. If you don’t do those things you can always vote for a political party that penalizes those who work hard and make good decisions to subsidize your laziness/ignorance. They’ll even make the excuses for you to legitimize the theft.

    • 0 avatar
      Justin Berkowitz

      “When you work hard and make good decisions in life you don’t have to worry about outrageous health insurance premiums, depreciation of your vehicles, or anything else monetary related.”

      All poor people are lazy.

    • 0 avatar

      “When you work hard and make good decisions in life you don’t have to worry about outrageous health insurance premiums, depreciation of your vehicles, or anything else monetary related.”

      And all sick people are sick because they made bad decisions in life, and they deserve to be driven into bankruptcy when the insurance that they thought would cover their medical expenses is rescinded because they failed to tell the insurance company about a diagnostic result received 10 years before they applied for the insurance.

  • avatar

    BTW, it was news for me that Canyon was lifted off Izusu. I thought it was a revamp of S-10.

    • 0 avatar

      I believe that they did keep one thing from the S-10: the seat assemblies. Aside from that, it’s all new inside and out.

    • 0 avatar
      Christy Garwood

      As a GM employee who worked on the Canyon during the design phase, I want you to know that GM was in a joint venture with Izusu to design the all-brand new truck. GM Brazil, GM Truck Group in Pontiac, MI and Izusu in Fujisawa, Japan collaborated on the design.

      The first production launch plant was in Thailand. In the USA, the Colorados and Canyon are built in Shreveport, LA. The original S-10 plant was idled while state-of-the art stamping, body shop (welds) and final assembly plant were built alongside the old building.

      Having worked directly with the people in that plant, I can tell you that they take pride in their workmanship and build the best mid-size trucks in the world.

  • avatar

    Mark Steyn, on something that ought to be from Metacars but is, sadly, from real life:


    Howard Fineman, the increasingly loopy editor of the increasingly doomed Newsweek, took it a step further. The truck wasn’t just any old prop but a very particular kind: “In some places, there are codes, there are images,” he told MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann. “You know, there are pickup trucks, you could say there was a racial aspect to it one way or another.”

    Ah, yes. Scott Brown has over 200,000 miles on his odometer. Man, he’s racked up a lot of coded racism on that rig. But that’s easy to do in notorious cross-burning KKK swamps like suburban Massachusetts.


    There’s more. It’s worth reading the whole thing.

  • avatar

    It was news to me that the Canyon is a 5-cylinder. He just dropped a few points in my book.

    I hate 5-cylinder engines. I’ll take a 4, 6, 8, 12, or even a 10 or 3 before a 5. Why? Fives are lumpy-sounding, and scream “compromise”. A 4 or 6 can do anything a 5 can do, without the acoustic dissonance. The benefits of an 8 or 12 are obvious. A 10 has serious power, while a 3 means to improve economy. But the 5 has no reason to live.

    • 0 avatar
      Justin Berkowitz

      Power of a 4 with the fuel economy of a 6. Everybody loses! See also: VW 2.5 inline 5.

      It’s possible he has a 4-cylinder version. I am trying to avoid reading about politics for a while so I haven’t looked closely at which trim level he has.

    • 0 avatar

      Ever drive the V70 R wagon? It might change your mind.

    • 0 avatar

      I dunno, I heard there was a very nice 5-cyl turbodiesel in Euro Sprinter.

    • 0 avatar
      Christy Garwood

      The truck design had to accomodate tastes/ uses in Thailand and the USA, hence the I(nline)5. Have you ever seen midsize trucks that bring goods to market in Thailand? Aftermarket scaffolding everywhere, roof of the cab, rear bumper off so they can add more cargo area close to the ground, cross-car extensions on the box sides. Truly amazing how many watermelons, etc. they can haul.

      The compromises in design that had to be negotiated to suit both markets was amazing.

  • avatar
    Robert Schwartz

    Isn’t the real issue how much the truck cost. If he paid sticker he is a moron, but if he beat the dealer around the head and neck for last year’s model, maybe he ought to be a senator.

    • 0 avatar
      Justin Berkowitz

      “but if he beat the dealer around the head and neck for last year’s model, maybe he ought to be a senator.”

      That’s like saying someone should be a senator because they can tie their own shoes! Millions of Americans get big discounts on ratty last-year’s Chevys!

    • 0 avatar

      You were almost there Robert.

      if he beat the dealer around the head and neck maybe he ought to be a senator.

      is the correct post.

  • avatar

    No sh*t, today I heard on a radio call in show a woman calling in and asking if her decision to buy a Canyon was a good one. In the next breath she said, “Will it be as reliable as my Honda CRV?”

    Local wanna be auto shill Zack Spencer (who only exists due to the largess of his rich wife) piped up, “Well, I am glad you called. It is an excellent truck. You’ll be happy with it.” What minor integrity old Zack had with me went out the window when I heard that!

  • avatar
    Mr Carpenter

    You know what? Sarcasm aside, there ARE an awful lot of people who are sick / get sick from choices THEY themselves make. That’s plain fact.

    My wife, a nurse, gets to see the results of life-decisions every day.

    Like the one guy who lives off of the rest of us (he’s “disabled” on Social Security at age 45 because he is an alcoholic) and who chooses to live in a van, so he doesn’t have to spend any of “his” money on rent – but buys more booze.

    Then of course, there are those who have sexual addictions who damage their bodies (as well as other peoples’) often ending up with the innocent baby being murdered before birth.

    Not to mention those folks who can’t control their eating.

    We haven’t even talked about smoking yet.

    My wife says “why should the folks who work hard and live clean lives involuntarily have to give up money to support addicts/idiots? Aren’t we simply “enabling” them to continue to damage themselves and others?”

    And I have to agree with her assessment.

    Now, that doesn’t mean that people shouldn’t have medical insurance when they earn it. Not at all.

    But a lot of folks aren’t poor because they didn’t have a chance to make something of themselves (after all, people coming from 3rd world countries to America can become millionares through hard work and many have done so). Mostly people live the lives they choose for themselves.

    Sad fact, but fact nevertheless.

    Yes some poor people are simply lazy “no accounts”.

    In days past, they’d have been chicken thieves.

    • 0 avatar
      Christy Garwood

      With all due respect, Mr Carpenter, many homeless people are mentally ill and can no more help that fact than the non-smoker who contracts lung cancer.

      With regard to addiction to substances such as alcohol, again, this could very well be a disease of the mind or an attempt to quell the rigors of other mental illnesses.

      No doubt, there are lazy, shiftless people in the world. But look deeper into some people’s lives and you might be surprised at how difficult it is to overcome the circumstances of their impoverished births.

      I wish the best of health to you and your family.

  • avatar

    What a candidate drives makes a statement.

    Obama is now driving Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang!

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