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11 Comments on “QOTD: Is This The Bugazzi Of 2046?...”
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Not enough door panel marble.
To win this title it has to have the worst of this decade combined. Immediately I can think of these requisites for a winner:
fake carbon fiber and aluminum interior trims (the real versions don’t look good either…)
paddle-shifter
fake chrome trim around instrument panel
lcd screens at any place other than the back rest for the kids
big rims with “rubber band” tires
fender vents
Edit: Kman, you were quicker (and more thorough)
[For some reason I can no longer edit or delete my previous post to correct the multiple typos. I paste in a corrected copy here.]
Well, it’s the something of 2046.
However, if we were to follow the theme of what makes the Bugazzi a Bugazzi — that is, all that is worst about the decade it represents, today’s “Bugazzi” needs to be or have:
– An undefinable “crossover”.
– A mysteriously high center of gravity for no apparent reason
– A bunch of “faux” exterior styling elements:
o non-functioning hood scoop,
o lowerbody cladding and cladding around the wheel wells with stick-on plastic “bolts” holding them on
o Air vents that lead nowhere
– Wheels that are too large by 2″ or more (18″ on a subcompact, 22″+ on anything)
– 16 cupholders for two seats
– A counter-productive body-on-frame architecture for a family vehicle
– A refrigerated glove box with beer-can holders (today’s equivalent of the Bugazzi’s wet bar)
– A screen-based, round-controller assisted secondary controls interface (I think a screen is the worst-possible UI for a moving vehicle. If it had come first, we’d be praising the cars that got rid of it for tactile dials and buttons)
– A complicated startup-shutdown process (key fob that you have to press, touch, insert, then a separate button to start the engine, and a separate button to shut down the engine — <em>see recent Audis</em>)
– And finally, a complex, heavy, questionable “hybrid” system.
Oh, I almost forgot a big one: it would also run on ethanol, the highly-inefficient, food-destroying gimmick thrust upon us.
Did I get them all?
@Autobraz:
Well, this thread could become a running list. How could I forget paddle shifters? Which leads me to a related one:
– Artificial manual “gears” on a CVT.
Paul, in the theme of TWAT awards, could we have a “Worst vehicle equipment ‘advances’ of the decade” contest? I’m sure we readers could generate an impressive list in short order.
Good idea! Let me talk it over with Ed.
Surely it has spinning wheels, right?
I’d hope that “ShelbySuperCars” would have been sued out of existence, since it is just relying on the Shelby name.
I’m not so sure about that. To begin with SSC has all sorts of disclaimers making it clear that there is no relationship with Shelby American. More to the point, the Ultimate Aero is closer to a supercar than anything Carroll Shelby currently makes.
I don’t think there’s anything comparable to the Bugazzi today. The SSS Ultimate Aero is purpose built, while the Bugazzi is a tarted up Lincoln. Maybe the closest thing to the Bugazzi today would be the Bertone Mantide or one of the other rebodies of the C6 Corvette. Even those are a poor analogy because while George Barris may have been the king of kar kustomizers, he wasn’t exactly a talented designer and the Bugazzi is a mashup, a pastiche of styling fads. Barris’ most famous “creations”, and the only two that actually had decent lines were the tv series Batmobile and the Monkeemobile, neither of which Barris actually styled (the Batmobile was originally the Lincoln Futura show car and the Monkeemobile was originally styled by Dean Jeffries.
The Bugazzi of 2046 would have to be one of those hideous ’57 Chevy body panel mods of an ’90s Camaro that TTAC featured a few months back:
https://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/whats-wrong-with-this-picture-barrel-fishing-edition/
Add some inappropriate electronic gadgets, an earth-shaking sub-woofer in the trunk and some nasty fabric/carbon fiber to the interior and you’re there.