Hammer Time: Bumming A Ride

I always tell folks that when I retire from my work as an auto auctioneer, I’ll be walking. They think I’m joking. Fat chance. I currently waste anywhere from ten to fifteen hours a week on the open road. Now given I’m not stuck in an office building or bathed underneath florescent lights. But all that road time is still about ten to fifteen percent of my waking hours inside a car. All that time. I’m on the radio, the phone. Just sitting. Driving. Passing the time. I could opt for far shorter commutes. But I have three nagging issues.

The first is my wife. She doesn’t want to move. Ever. She loves the house. Loves her friends (someone has to). Loves the neighbors. Also nearly every commercialized convenience is within five miles of us. So we’re not moving.

The second is my work. If I say no to driving, I say no to money. Believe it or not, I have friends who drive six hours to a sale and add 1200+ miles on their steads over the course of a week. Comparatively, my 500 mile a week diet is downright stingy with a Honda Insight that can do it all in a tankful. I have a family to care for so this ain’t changing… yet.

But here’s the real issue.

I’m a tightwad AND cultural misfit. Asking me to go shopping for crap I don’t need is the equivalent of putting a financial gun to my head. The last time I visited my mom and in-laws they dragged me kicking and screaming to Ikea. I proceeded to find a couch with display books nearby and just read for two hours. Then I talked the Ikea manager into letting me keep one of these books. A book about bankruptcy auctions out of all things, so I wouldn’t have to endure another worthless afternoon looking at crap in a Long Island mall.

After telling my family how cheap I can buy all these things at thrift stores and estate auctions in Georgia, I am officially on their ‘Do Not Call’ list as it pertains to shopping.

And there’s the issue. If I didn’t have a car I probably wouldn’t go anywhere. I would definitely consider a pickup game of basketball or softball. Perhaps a bit of time at the library or gardening. But I wouldn’t need a car. Screw that. I would bum rides and maybe even get a real job. Part-time of course. With very flexible hours. Hmmm… maybe I should just open another car lot.