Are more losses showing up on your post-bankruptcy financial statement? Are uptight Europeans and Republicans making your overseas division rescue harder than it needs to be? Is the thought of another year defined by Consumer Reports mediocrity getting you down? Good news! GM’s court jester Bob Lutz hasn’t been shipped off to chair Opel just yet, and he’s been sprinkling the autoblogosphere with his patented enthusiast-baiting niche product hints.
Did you know you’ll be able to buy a Cadillac CTS-V as either a sedan, a coupe or a wagon? When Car and Driver hear the news they “kept an external cool, but inside, we were overjoyed.” I guess I’d have been more curious how long the 550+ hp brute will be available at all, when an RWD Impala is being ruled out on fuel efficiency concerns. But there’s more wagonmania to come! Were you aware that GM is considering a wagon version of its just-announced, Opel Insignia-derived Buick Regal? How else were they going to take on Acura’s recently-announced TSX Wagon? Plus, a GS version of the Regal (aka Insignia OPC) is being hinted at as well. A station wagon with a 335 hp-ish turbocharged V6, AWD and a manual transmission? Sounds like a forum fanboy dream come true until you realize how much it would cost once they ship them over from Germany. Sadly, Lutz reveals that the chances of a Regal wagon depends on the success of the CTS sportwagon. Never mind then. But a twin-turbo Camaro? That’s a solid “perhaps,” according to GM’s Man of Maximum. Now discuss these possible maybes ad nauseum at your forum of choice, and stop asking about financial reports, struggling overseas divisions and IPOs. Niche station wagons are what this industry is really about. Take it from Bob.
Bob is just insane. There can be no other explanation. He’s certifiably, 100% freaking bonkers. And GM is doomed to failure unless somebody figures out what kind of morons are running the company and rectifies it quickly.
File me as one of those forum fanboys who loves me some AWD stickshift turbo wagon… but a Buick badge makes me lose my appetite.
Great landing… wrong airport.
No diesel, no sale!
On a serious note, the CTS-V Wagon really is a diesel engine away from ultimate forum wankery and Lutz knows it. This is distraction work: it really reminds me of the behaviour of “bad old GM” leading up to show season: trot out new, exciting concepts and a halo model that will, if we’re lucky, distract people from the hom-hum models we’re grinding out now.
I agree totally, it’s complete misdirection and distraction. “Never mind about customer’s dealer experience, long-term quality, compelling products in the bread and butter markets, or any of that other stuff that people already don’t like about GM. Look at this shiny powerful (and relatively hugely expensive) limited production high output version! Doesn’t knowing there’s going to be a 250 hp turbo model Cruze make you feel better about buying a regular mid-trim Cruze?”
If all these rediculous niche vehicles come to be I will be solidly convinced that Lutz really runs GM and Fritz is just a pawn to make idiots think GM has changed.
But I’m banking on these just being PR moves to keep GM in the press.
GM wants wagons? Give us a Malibu wagon, Bob! This is the perfect way to test whether or not you can sell upmarket wagons for Buick and to know how many CTS wagons to produce. Just use the Malibu wagon numbers as a baseline, then decide from there! But that might make too much sense, so…
Does the Malibu Maxx count?
It would if they still made them. They had about the only vehicle for that segment, then stopped making them.
That should go to show how well a GM wagon will sell though, not very. They might be able to sell some CTS wagons to Funeral parlors though.
Malibu Maxx doesn’t count anymore. They should have continued with a current wagon. It would have looked worlds better, too.
I should also say that i see just as many Maxx’s as I see last-gen sedans in the DC area, so I think a current ‘Bu wagon would do well.
What’s next…. inventing the Question Mark
I don’t know what dumbfounds me more, these outrageous claims or that none of the other outlets call him out on this and that every crazy car he has come up with has been a failure.
Bob should get an additional title: Vice President of Comic Relief….
@Edward
One model year of the Regal will be coming from Germany. The GS will be built in Canada, if it is made.
Wagons schmagons. Let’s see more El-Caministos like the one in the picture. Caddy is overdue for an El Camino clone, bring it on Bob, the market is wide open!
Just what GM needs, yet another car that no one will buy… How many CTS Wagons have they sold so far? Over 100? Lets face simple facts, Americans DO NOT buy wagons… stop wasting money on them