Hammer Time: ACD

Steven Lang
by Steven Lang

I saw the strangest thing yesterday. Driving down a country highway there appeared to be a tattered old Toyota pickup and a 1990’s Chrysler LHS spread amongst five foot tall weeds. Further peering in resulted in an Escort Wagon, 3 Oldsmobile Cutlass Convertibles and 2 Sebrings. I wondered… had Monsanto finally invented some special car seed to plague the Americas? Not yet. Thankfully. Instead it was a dealer friend who was literally hiding his compulsions amongst the kudzu. His case may be extreme since he apparently has nearly 30 vehicles strewn throughout his prairie land. But he’s not alone.

Automotive Compulsive Disorder. Laugh if you must. But I know of a Datsunaholic who has nearly 20 vintage Datsuns parked on all four corners of his small Seattle property. They were all free except for one, and they all run. If you so much as mention the word Datsun… forget it. He becomes lost in a world of carbureted inebriation. The same is true for a Ford dealer friend who can’t seem to let go of old Volvos. He has them lined on a remote lot side by side, ready to take on all non-Nordic trade-in’s in a Texas style stare down contest. I know of dozens of cases throughout North Georgia, and even have caught the bug myself a time or two. Have you ever known anyone afflicted with this strain of steel, speed and nostalgia?

Steven Lang
Steven Lang

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  • Big_gms Big_gms on Oct 09, 2009

    If I had the money and room, I'd have lots and lots of full-size American cars, especially GM's...any model year, any body style, any condition. And 1989-1996 Mercury Cougars, the last "real" Cougar. Always loved the styling. And Cadillac Cimarrons. That car holds a peculiar appeal to me. Don't know why, it just does. I'd snap up every one I could get my hands on. It's probably best that I don't have the money or room. My wife would eventually have a fit!

  • 97escort 97escort on Oct 09, 2009

    In Iowa the disease manifests itself in tractor collecting. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPy1Advujhw One neighbor couldn't get enough old Case tractors. They came up for sale to settle his estate. During the summer these guys do 'cross country tractor rides. I've had up to 200 or so go past my place. Takes hours and makes quite a show. The amazing thing is that they all look good and run.

  • Moedaman Moedaman on Oct 09, 2009

    My father was like this. But he bought old motorcycles. My parents garage was a mess.He particularly like british bikes. He was going to get all of them running after he retired. He actually got an old Triumph running. He replaced all of the analog gauges with digital ones. I think he stole all of those parts out of GM Truck and Bus (where he worked). Sadly he died before he could retire. After he died, it wasn't that hard to move them. There are plenty of other sickos, er enthusiasts, who love crappy, old, non-running motor bikes.

  • Starbird80 Starbird80 on Oct 10, 2009

    Once upon a time, there was a house by the side of US10 between Minneapolis and St. Cloud, MN, with several Corvairs neatly angle-parked in the front yard. At least 2 were wagons, but I don't recall any vans. All looked complete but unrestored. No idea if any of them actually ran - they never seemed to move. All disappeared around 10 years ago - the guy probably passed away.