Ask The Best And Brightest: How Would You Roast Bob Lutz?
Roast chicken, roast lamb, roast pork, roast beef, roast….Lutz? That’s right. The car world’s most favorite big mouth is going to get it shut, at least for an evening. Bob Lutz is being roasted in the name of the arthritis foundation of the United States. Maximum Bob is going to check his ego in at the door and have people shout barbed comments at him and all he can do is smile (a bit like when our own “Bob” Farago met him). In the past, comedy roasts have produced some great comments, my favorite being when Lisa Lampanelli said that Danny Bonaduce was the the only person in room who was in a good band (Gene Simmons was the guest of honor). Some comments have been very, very great but we couldn’t possibly print them on TTAC! So the question of the day is this: If you had to write one joke for Bob Lutz’ roast, what would it be? Here’s my entry: “It’s nice to see Bob Lutz and arthritis coming together. Normally, when Bob Lutz and cars come together, all the driver gets is rigor mortis!”. Thank you! I’ll be here all week!
[Ed: Roasters are said to include Fritz Henderson, Ed Wellburn, Jean Jennings, Brian Nesbitt and Brent DeWar… Jason Vines will be the MC. When asked if a certain Robert Farago could contribute, either in person or in a video appearance, organizer Michelle Glazier said “We’re more or less selling things, not slamming things.” Pity.]
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Are his disastrous results at GM a crock too or is that just another one of those pesky little perception gaps? Jeez, what planet are you on anyway? I don't at all dismiss Lutz participating in a charity roast but your adulation of his alleged accomplishments is beyond fiction. GM is so lucky to have him they went through bankruptcy during his extended product czar tenure in case that bit of news may have escaped your attention.
Not sure how I would roast Lutz. I know its fun on these blogs to rip people but just think where GM would be if Lutz didn't join GM earlier this decade. He is a true car guy, and generally has a good sense of the market. Lutz's hire was probably the only good decision by that hack Rick Wagoner. Say what you will about his bluster and the overall effectiveness of his tenure, Lutz has brought out some of the best cars in GM's history.
Would some of those best cars in GM's history be the SSR, GTO, Solstice/Sky and G8? None of which GM could make a profit on? Notice a pattern? It doesn't matter how good the product is if the company can't make a profit selling it. Lutz tenure as GM's car czar did nothing but shove them into BK faster (if that were possible, quite an achievement in and of itself actually). If Lutz were the least bit competent in his position he would have realized and acted on the fact that high volume profitable cars were the lynchpin necessary for success and provided them. Instead he provided niche market unprofitable vehicles. On both counts he was instrumental in quickening GM's demise. Lutz performance (or utter lack thereof) is very well documented, to champion his performance at GM is pure ignorance of the facts. Lutz is a complete failure and I guarantee you automotive history will record it as such.
Hmmm TwoTone: I think the problem is.. Besides us owning GM cars.. I / we just dont want to drive them. As for roasting Lutz.. Id like to stick a apple in his mouth and some gefilte fish in his ass, and roast him over a pile of Suburbans / Tahoes. And see.. the worst part about him.. Is that he's over at GM. When he was at Chrysler.. I actually had respect for him, Iacocca and Bob Gale. ----------- mtymsi: I agree with you totally and absolutely. For all the big mouth things he's said.. he hasn't produced vehicles that lasted WORTH A SHIT. But maybe that's how he got his big salary. Maybe its some kind of condition that allows ya to be a Wagoneer protege -- (word play, shame they couldn't build / market a competitor..)