Positive Post of the Day: Fiat Fixes Chrysler Edition

Edward Niedermeyer
by Edward Niedermeyer

[ED: Our doctors tell us we need to write at least one “positive” post per day. A feature is born.]

Fiat is introducing a “World Class Manufacturing” campaign at Chrysler plants which will radically transform Chrysler’s manufacturing process. After all, Fiat CEO Sergio Marchionne takes the moral aspects of manufacturing very personally. “ Waste is unethical,” he is known to have said; so why wouldn’t the Detroit News simply repeat it? And Fiat is famous for operating the most efficient, Dr. Seussian factories in the business. Like the Fiat of Brazil paint shop pictured above (more images of the plant here). Who wouldn’t want to be productive and/or hallucinating in that kind of working environment? The only disheartening element of this story is how far Chrysler’s plants have to come. Pop an extra Xanax and hit the jump to find out.

This image allegedly portrays workers at Chrysler’s Warren Assembly plant manufacturing Dodge Rams sometime last summer. Either that or it’s casual Friday in Sweatpants City. Where are the indoor trees and whimsically oversized microscopes depicting Chrysler’s commitment to research and development?

Luckily change is coming in a swift, unrelenting wave of condescension. “We were a little shocked by all the changes, including uniforms and only a water bottle allowed at your station,” one Canadian Chrysler employee says. But it gets crazier still. “To improve quality in production, acceptable margins for error are smaller, and greater precision is being demanded,” explains the DetN. “For example, each hole punched in a car body for assembly must be in a specific spot. Under the new manufacturing rules, the distance that hole can be off is less than it was under the old Chrysler system.”

It seems safe to say that we can all stop worrying about Chrysler now. If you still find yourself unable to stop worrying about Chrysler, please take another Xanax. And think positive.

Edward Niedermeyer
Edward Niedermeyer

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  • AndrewDederer AndrewDederer on Aug 25, 2009

    I kinda resent the pencil-pusher bit. I wasn't working for the company, but I had to meet the same safety code (that is toes and eyes) that everyone did, even the office staff if they went onto the floor. And I was crawling over and around cars a couple hours most days taking data. I didn't wear a uniform (barring the company-logo polo). Everyone else did (in varying degrees of disheveled) summer or winter. Best place in the winter, on the catwalk around the paint oven, if you could ignore the smell. Was just noting that, in my experience the above workers seemed a bit undercovered. Specifically the lack of head protection for someone who'd be ducking into 400+ bodies a day. BTW a "bump cap" is nothing more than a ballcap with a hard plastic insert. It's not for protection against falling things, just against hitting your head.

  • Vrtowc Vrtowc on Aug 27, 2009

    And a whole lot of people without blindfolds undoubtedly wholeheartedly disagree with you, menno. GM simply went into bed with FIAT under promise of latter marriage. GM got his hands on the prize he was after: top-of-the-line diesel engines, still powering most of GM European sales and an excellent small platform from Grande Punto, directly used to build Corsa. So it is FIAT sourced parts and technology keeping GM Europe alive for quite a few years now. What Fiat got was: an overweight and under-engineered platform which, after hefty FIAT investment, now underpins Alfa 159 and an unusable V6 petrol engine in need of complete overhaul to be even remotely suitable to fit into 159. And when FIAT tried to cash-in the promise of marriage (buyout), GM was of course not prepared to honor it. They got what they wanted, why on earth should they care what happens afterwards!?!? While GM hoped to get out of the mess for free, they still got out veeeery cheap, for a measly 2bn US$. Far less than they would have to pay for everything they pillaged out of FIAT. So if anyone is at loss here, it is only FIAT.

  • Jpolicke In a communist dictatorship, there isn't much export activity that the government isn't aware of. That being the case, if the PRC wanted to, they could cut the flow of fentanyl down to a trickle. Since that isn't happening, I therefore assume Xi Jinping doesn't want it cut. China needs to feel the consequences for knowingly poisoning other countries' citizens.
  • El scotto Oh, ye nattering nabobs of negativism! Think of countries like restaurants. Our neighbors to the north and south are almost as good and the service is fantastic. They're awfully close to being as good as the US. Oh the Europeans are interesting and quaint but you really only go there a few times a year. Gents, the US is simply the hottest restaurant in town. Have to stand in line to get in? Of course. Can you hand out bribes to get in quicker? Of course. Suppliers and employees? Only the best on a constant basis.Did I mention there is a dress code? We strictly enforce it. Don't like it? Suck it.
  • 1995 SC At least you can still get one. There isn't much for Ford folks to be happy about nowadays, but the existence of the Mustang and the fact that the lessons from back in the 90s when Ford tried to kill it and replace it with the then flavor of the day seem to have been learned (the only lessons they seem to remember) are a win not only for Ford folks but for car people in general. One day my Super Coupe will pop its headgaskets (I know it will...I read it on the Internet). I hope I will still be physically up to dropping the supercharged Terminator Cobra motor into it. in all seriousness, The Mustang is a.win for car guys.
  • Lorenzo Heh. The major powers, military or economic, set up these regulators for the smaller countries - the big guys do what they want, and always have. Are the Chinese that unaware?
  • Lorenzo The original 4-Runner, by its very name, promised something different in the future. What happened?
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