Hammer Time: Dogfight!

Steven Lang
by Steven Lang

No, we’re not talking about becoming the official web site for Michael Vick. This one involves two stronger dealers in a financial wrestling match. Yesterday afternoon there was a rarely used camper conversion van at the Carmax sale. The model year was 1993. It was a Chevy Van (of 1970s singing fame) with a mini fridge, plastic toilet, furnace and all the hookups you would need to go camping. A very nice package with only 43,000 original miles. The prior owner had been in the military and kept it all in tip-top shape. But then THEY arrived . . .

I knew there was something wrong when the keys were locked in the vehicle from the early get go. The buyers at Carmax were immediately on it. But even getting through the seal was a challenge due to the design of the door. I offered my New Jersey upbringing as a means for prying said lock. But that thing was tight. One of the dealers in the free for all waited about twenty minutes before the lock was prodded and the vehicle became open again. The heat index was 100°+ and this being the second long sale of the day, no one was in a happy mood.

In the meantime the sale started. 105 vehicles followed an orderly procession as the prices zoomed headlong into tax season levels. $2000 for a 1997 Plymouth Breeze with low miles and a bad engine? Sure! Another $2K for a base 1998 Grand Caravan with no rear air? Why the heck not. A 2000 Ford Contour that runs only on compressed natural gas for $1500. Okey-dokey. The larger buy here – pay here lots were trying to scavenge whatever they could and even the larger wholesalers found themselves on the defensive. It was clear I was going to become a true casual observer for most of the afternoon.

Then it happened. The van trudged through the lane with the auctioneer giving a very full description of the prior owner and the vehicle. The price went down . . . $7000, $6000, $5000 . . . all the way to $3000 until the van finally got the money. Five bidders became three bidders and by $3800 only two bidders remained in the fight. The first fellow gave the usual dealer stare with the finger pointed at themselves that says, “I’m on it. I want this one. Please leave it alone.” The second dealer gives an ear to ear grin pointing at his Dad which means, “I’m buying it for my Dad. He really wants it.” Dealer #1 mouthed out the word “Bullshit!” and the fight was on. The hundreds and fifties piled up until the second dealer became the winning bidder at $5650 (plus $200 auction fee).

Everyone was laughing, including the Dad, and only two fellows were oblivious to it all. Afterward the winning dealer told me he was really going to be keeping it for his Dad. But he told me the same exact line two months ago when we were dogfighting over a grey market Mercedes S-Class. I guess the old dogs of this business never get tired of using the same old tricks.

Steven Lang
Steven Lang

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  • BigOldChryslers BigOldChryslers on Aug 20, 2009

    I had a 1984 GMC 3/4 ton van with the 6.2L diesel as a daily driver. It was a full window van with 2 bench seats in the back and full interior and carpetting, all factory equipment. I thought the handling in the snow was good, and very predictable. Turning radius was good for a vehicle of its size, better than my Dodge pickup anyhow. Acceleration was poor (no turbo on the diesel) and it wallowed a bit through the turns, but I was certainly happy with the fuel mileage, even when towing. I once test-drove a GM conversion van, much like the one pictured, but it also had a 6.2L diesel like mine. It would've made a poor replacement for my van: Top-heavy due to the raised roof, even slower acceleration due to the added weight, and less room for hauling passengers and stuff. From that brief encounter, I decided that a conversion camper van has too many compromises to be very good at anything. No sale.

  • Hal Hal on Aug 20, 2009

    @jckirlan for a used 7 passenger vehicle I think a 2007 KIA Sedona offers a decent deal. You get best in class safety (equal to the Odyssey). Decent reliability (better than the T&C, not as good as the Odyssey). The remainder of a 60k/5year warranty And basically all the features you need. If you want to buy new get an Odyssey. If you can't stand the thought of driving a van get a Ford Flex. For a large used sedan I like the Ford 500.

  • Oberkanone My grid hurts!Good luck with installing charger locations at leased locations with aging infrastructure. Perhaps USPS would have better start modernizing it's Post offices to meet future needs. Of course, USPS has no money for anything.
  • Dukeisduke If it's going to be a turbo 4-cylinder like the new Tacoma, I'll pass.BTW, I see lots of Tacomas on the road (mine is a 2013), but I haven't seen any 4th-gen trucks yet.
  • Oberkanone Expect 4Runner to combine best aspects of new Land Cruiser and new Tacoma and this is what I expect from 2025 4Runner.Toyota is REALLY on it's best game recently. Tacoma and Land Cruiser are examples of this.
  • ArialATOMV8 All I hope is that the 4Runner stays rugged and reliable.
  • Arthur Dailey Good. Whatever upsets the Chinese government is fine with me. And yes they are probably monitoring this thread/site.
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