Ask the Best and Brightest: Who Is the Best/Worst Cinematic Car Salesman

Robert Farago
by Robert Farago

Caution: The sycophancy and silicone in this paint-by-numbers preview may make you want to hurl. Note to Mr. Piven: those who went before salute you, albeit with a single digit. Yes, the silver screen (or flat panel HDTV) has a long history of amoral, blood-sucking, lying, cheating, scumbag car salesman. As Slate’s Matthew DeBord points out, “Don Ready” isn’t the usual sad sack salesman. A distinction without a difference? Anyway, DeBord has a nice little rundown on nine (I’ve subtracted four) automobile-selling assholes. So which one was your fave? Any additions? And have you ever met a real world car salesman to rival any of these?

Robin Williams as Joey O’Brien in Cadillac Man – MD: “His Brooklyn dealer has wife troubles, mistress troubles, and, once hostage-taking Tim Robbins shows up, guy-with-an-AK-47 troubles.” RF: If only Williams had walked away form the coke bowl.

William H. Macy as Jerry Lundegaard in Fargo – MD “Who can forget a desperate Bill Macy trying to obscure Oldsmobile VIN numbers on a fax to his loan officer while scheming to have his wife kidnapped?” RF: Not me.

Danny DeVito as Harry Wormwood in Matilda – MD: “Harry is straight out of Used-Car Dealer 101: Everything he does is corrupt. If you’re looking for a defining example, albeit one from a British sensibility, this is it.” RF: Harry relaizes his daughter is a prodigy when she adds up the profits her Dad makes by ripping-off customers. Priceless!

Kurt Russell as Rudy Russo in Used Cars – MD: DeBord’s got nothing. RF: Ditto.

Richard Crenna as Phil Brody in The Flamingo Kid – MD: “He’s seduced by car salesman Crenna, who offers a mythical lifestyle that features … flashy imported sports cars!” RF: Not literally, ’cause that would have been WAY more interesting.

Robert Farago
Robert Farago

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  • Marc_m Marc_m on Sep 02, 2009

    @FreedMike Thanks allot for the update, I really appreciate it. After reading your post, I watched "The Goods". Your post was funnier do:) Thanks again for sharing your life experience with the rest of us. Best regards, Marc.

  • FreedMike FreedMike on Sep 02, 2009
    njdave : September 1st, 2009 at 10:30 am You forgot Bill Paxton as Simon in True Lies. That scene where Tom Arnold shoots at his feet to make him leave and he wets himself is classic! OMG, that was funny... "The 'Vette gets 'em wet!" "I'm nothing. I'm navel lint. I've got a tiny pecker...it's pathetic. "
  • MaintenanceCosts It's not a Benz or a Jag / it's a 5-0 with a rag /And I don't wanna brag / but I could never be stag
  • 3-On-The-Tree Son has a 2016 Mustang GT 5.0 and I have a 2009 C6 Corvette LS3 6spd. And on paper they are pretty close.
  • 3-On-The-Tree Same as the Land Cruiser, emissions. I have a 1985 FJ60 Land Cruiser and it’s a beast off-roading.
  • CanadaCraig I would like for this anniversary special to be a bare-bones Plain-Jane model offered in Dynasty Green and Vintage Burgundy.
  • ToolGuy Ford is good at drifting all right... 😉
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