Daimler Pays $2.3 Billion to Jettison 19.9% of Chrysler

When the historians chronicle Detroit’s decline and fall, Daimler’s rape and pillage of the storied American car brand will merit an entire tome. In short form, the Germans came, they saw, they laughed, they lunched, they left. And when they left, they maintained a 19.9 percent share in the hollowed-out American automaker. Wishful thinking? Tax law? A codicil from Cerberus to allow Chrysler’s new masters to sue the shit out of the Germans if things went badly? In any case, thanks to The Presidential Task Force on Automobiles determination to reconstitute Chrysler as a worker’s co-op, by Friday, Daimler gets to see Chrysler implode from afar. [NB: So much for the “The Big 2.8”.] Bloomberg reports that Daimler will “cede” its remaining its stake in “former U.S. division” (ouch) to Cerberus Capital Management LP. More to the point, the “transaction” will result in a $700 million write down in the second quarter. Oh, and Daimler will “forgive” $1.3 to $1.7 billion worth of “loans” to Chrysler. And “contribute” $600 million to the US automaker’s pension plans over the next three years. Meanwhile, Daimler’s own haus is on fire . . .

Even with cash4clunker mania sweeping its domestic market—and zen ze world!—the German automaker is not doing well in the current economic doldrums. It’s just posted “its first back-to-back quarterly losses in at least 10 years.” (How precise is that?)

The first-quarter net loss was 1.3 billion euros ($1.7 billion), or 1.40 euros a share, Stuttgart, Germany-based Daimler said today in a statement. The loss was wider than the 790 million-euro median estimate of a Bloomberg survey of 13 analysts. Daimler shares fell as much as 8.4 percent.

Oops.