Michael Phelps' Non-Apology Apology for Mazda China
After swimmer Michael Phelps won a drawer full of Olympic gold, he signed a deal with Kellogg’s to promote Frosted Flakes. Stupid move. Tens of millions of parents know that Frosted Flakes make their kids bounce off the friggin’ walls. Part of this healthy breakfast, my ass. All Phelps had to do was align himself with brands selling healthy living and he could have smoked the finest Maui Wowee, in Maui, for the rest of his life. Anyway, Phelps got caught doing bong hits. A smart handler would have used the opportunity to strengthen the Phelps brand. “Michael is obsessed with fitness. He doesn’t drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes. He regrets using an illegal herbal drug for relaxation. He is now exploring yoga and other alternatives. He encourages his millions of fans to learn from his mistake, as he has.” Let the Mary Jane debate begin! Anyway, Phelps signed a million dollar deal with Mazda to promote the brand in China. (Huh?) When the swimmer got busted, they somehow convinced him to make this entirely bogus, po-faced apology. It manages to make both Phelps AND Mazda look stupid. Yes?
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Minor quibble, psar: I believe Rebagliati competed in a snowboard slalom event, not freestyle. Nagano was the first Olympics in which snowboarding made an appearance, but freestyle wasn't included until a later Games. This whole Phelps thing is ridiculous. The attitude of Americans to minor drug use and exposed nipples is so overwrought it is funny. Meanwhile, you can watch dozens of violent acts on network TV between 7-10pm every night.
Rosetta Stoned should be apologizing to Phelps and the people of China for not producing a product capable of enabling him to offer such an apology in Chinese. And yeah try a 12000 calorie a day diet without the munchies, weed is performance enhancing to him at least.