By on December 23, 2008

Is your faith in your country a little shaken by recent political and economic events? Man have you come to the wrong place. We’ve found a pair of stories today which seem to jointly encapsulate every negative stereotype and overly-broad criticism of America. And by God, they aren’t jokes either. First up, we have the story of a million-dollar Mustang on eBay from the Cardomain blog. That’s right, someone is asking for a million big ones for a 1998 lambo-doored Roush Mustang with 175k on the clock. Why? To quote the eBay listing: I am selling this vehicle, which is the only material thing I truly own, because I am trying to save my home and family. I will ship this vehicle anywhere in the world at my expense. the asking price is $1,000,000.00 why?? because i am in serious financial trouble. The sale of this vehicle is targeted to any millionaire out there who is willing to help get me out of my current financial situation. this vehicle is being sold as is. Shockingly, post-bailout audacity isn’t the most nauseating story on the autoblogosphere today. Our second story is so repulsive and national-pride-obliterating that we have to hide it behind the jump. Grab a barf bag and a change of citizenship form and check it out…

According to Forbes, a Hollywood cosmetic surgeon “turned the fat he removed from patients into biodiesel that fueled his Ford SUV and his girlfriend’s Lincoln Navigator.” According to Craig Alan Bitner’s now defunct lipodiesel.com website, “the vast majority of my patients request that I use their fat for fuel–and I have more fat than I can use. Not only do they get to lose their love handles or chubby belly but they get to take part in saving the Earth.” Puzzlingly, it is illegal to use human medical waste to power vehicles in California, and Bittner is being investigated by the state’s public health department. You know, despite the obvious promise of this endlessly available renewable energy source. I’m going to go be ill now.

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53 Comments on “What The NSFW Is Wrong With This Country?...”


  • avatar
    WildBill

    Ughh…I’ve really lived long enough to have heard it all. So now I can die happy (not really).

  • avatar
    toxicroach

    Due should sell the Mustang for 3k and hire a bankruptcy attorney.

    Or buy powerball tickets with it.

  • avatar
    brettc

    Human-fat Biodiesel was powering his GF’s Navigator? I thought those were only sold with big gas sucking engines. Either way though, doing what he did with his fat supply is pretty messed up.

    I assume the other Ford SUV was an Excretion. I wonder what the exhaust smelled like?

  • avatar
    paradigm_shift

    What a genius, this guy spends a considerable amount of money modifying a POS to look like an even worse POS. Its no wonder he’s in “serious financial trouble”. Maybe he’ll re-think his lifestyle when he loses both his kneecaps to the “individuals” whom he owes money to…

  • avatar
    KixStart

    I think it’s obvious why the Mustang’s owner is in his “current financial situation.”

    As to the uh… human biodiesel… I don’t believe this is unique… I think they used a little flabby fuel in that biodiesel-powered boat that recently went around the world. I believe it was mentioned on Science Friday some months ago.

  • avatar
    jaydez

    Okay, the second story:

    When was the Lincoln Navigator ever available with a diesel?

    And this from the article confirms its true [sarcasm]:

    “The investigations, however, might go nowhere: Bittner closed his practice, Beverly Hills Liposculpture, in November and moved to South America to do volunteer work at a clinic, according to a note on his Web site. Besser says Bittner likely fled the country because of the investigations. Bittner’s lawyer didn’t return calls seeking comment.”

    I smell the feces of a male bovine.

  • avatar
    NickR

    Thanks for ruining my holidays Edward.

    Not really.

    But those stories are both depresssing and sickening.

  • avatar
    kovachian

    The Mudstain sold for just $3550, so it looks like the only true idiot involved there was the buyer, fortunately.

  • avatar
    MrCrumbles

    Don’t shit in my gas tank and tell me it’s bio-diesel!

  • avatar
    NickR

    The comments section is wonky again…

    Why does the guy need a million to save his family? I could do a lot more than save my family with half that amount.

    Anyway, I was just going to ask if that surgeon knows Tyler Durden?

  • avatar
    kol

    Why is the first story sickening? Been reading to many Ayn Rand novels lately?

  • avatar
    John Horner

    There was also a human fat powered boat:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-503419/Eco-boat-powered-human-fat-attempts-round-world-speed-record.html

  • avatar
    toxicroach

    The Mustang guy is from CA and judging from the wee bit of the house we see he wasn’t living cheap.

    A guy who would spend his cash on that Mustang could easily dig himself a million dollar hole playing the California real estate market.

  • avatar
    tesla deathwatcher

    It’s people. Biodiesel is made out of people. They’re making our fuel out of people.

  • avatar
    Pch101

    It’s a great gimmick for selling a car, or at least for generating publicity for selling a car.

    He did get a bit over his head with the million dollar thing. He might actually get some serious overpriced offers if he didn’t come off as being so greedy.

  • avatar

    I’m with Jaydez on this one – where did he find DIESEL Ford SUVs – in California no less…

    As for the Roushtang… what kind of financial trouble is this guy IN if he needs $1M?

    Oh yeah, the kind of trouble that only a d-bag seen driving a monstrosity like that around can get into.

    Mustang – $20K.
    Roush upgrade – $15K
    Horrendous customization job – $50K
    Look on the guy’s face when he realizes it ain’t worth 5 large? – Priceless.

    Investment genius… and he isn’t alone.

  • avatar
    JT

    because i am in serious financial trouble.

    Not hard to tell why, eh?

  • avatar
    Steve_K

    Tyler Durden says, “Use more biodiesel!”

  • avatar
    NN

    yeah, sounds nasty…but in reality it’s not a bad idea (the fat to fuel thing). Why not burn that stuff off? Would you rather have a bunch of human fat thrown into a landfill for rats to eat (and gain a taste of)? I’m sure as biowaste it is burned anyways; so might as well make energy out of it.

    Shit is used as fuel in many places and methods…why not fat?

    Maybe a waste-to-energy facility is a better place to burn it than your own car, though…I’d hate to be sitting in traffic smelling a strange fatty bacon smell coming out of some dude’s tailpipe and wondering if it really is what I think it is.

    As far as that doctor goes; however…man, he’s got to have a screw loose to be making it into fuel on his own…

  • avatar
    Cicero

    Saddam used a similar fuel approach by putting live human beings into a wood chipper device mounted on the rear of his car. Worked kind of like the Mr. Fusion in Back to the Future II, just a lot messier.

    But then, the mess was always part of the charm.

  • avatar
    Geotpf

    Let’s see:

    Soylent Green reference: Check.
    Fight Club reference: Check.

    So we’ve got the liposuction fat-to-biodiesel story covered.

    But there are no Fast and the Furious stories about the Ugstang, so I think we’ll have to register a fail on that half of the story.

  • avatar
    Bunter1

    jgh-You have it there.

    THis bonehead wasted money he did not have on this car (hey, if you got the money, no problem, it’s yours, spend as youlike).

    Now he want’s to be bailed out.

    I guess he is a “real” American.

    Sad.

    Bunter

  • avatar
    Areitu

    I’d give him 1 million Zimbabwe dollars.

    A few weeks ago I was walking into the 7-11 around the block from my apartment. A woman standing next to the door asked me a question.

    “Wanna buy me a turkey sandwich?”

    “Sure, I’ll check.”

    She specified the kind she wanted, I go inside, look for her turkey sandwich and see that it was $4.00. I’m not buying a stranger a sandwich that cost more than my lunch. I go back outside.

    “They don’t have the one you want.”

    “So? There’s another 7-11 over there.”

    I gave her the pennies out of my car’s coin tray.

    In hindsight, I should have said, I’ll be back in a few minutes, and took the long way home.

    I’ve had a pair of women ask me for “bus fare” because their fuel pump broke and they needed a ride home and promised to mail me a check if I gave them my address. They were both holding large slurpees. I’ve had someone ask me for gas money because he “forgot his wallet.” I figured he had at least 30 miles to go if it just turned on.

    False sense of entitlement, anyone?

  • avatar
    Cyril Sneer

    I’m still trying to figure out why I’m supposed to be disturbed by the liposuction –> fuel story.

    Who cares?

  • avatar
    toxicroach

    Cyril: I think its kinda cool. Guess gross out factor. Think of Fight Club where they used lipo fat to make soap.

  • avatar
    jaje

    A Mustang is a decent car – cheap, rwd and kinda fun to drive especially if you like wagging the tail from time to time. It is really not a POS from the factory – especially a Roush stang.

    However, many people mess up their cars doing very stupid things like this. Note to seller – you are in this situation b/c you are living beyond your means and wasting money making a good car look like crap. Stop watching HIN and other car shows and use our money for your family (maybe why you have that trouble b/c your car is more important than they are).

  • avatar
    MikeInCanada

    Shouldn’t it be called “BootyDiesel”.

  • avatar
    PeteMoran

    Clearly these stories should be on Top Gear.

  • avatar
    Areitu

    toxicroach :
    December 23rd, 2008 at 5:02 pm

    Cyril: I think its kinda cool. Guess gross out factor. Think of Fight Club where they used lipo fat to make soap.

    Really good soap.

  • avatar
    no_slushbox

    The Mustang is embarrassing, but having enough excess fat to power large SUVs is something America can be proud of.

    Take that terrorists.

    “I bet you would like to have this burger, wouldn’t you poor country person? Too bad, I’m going to eat it, and then I’m going to have it sucked out of me and put in my Excursion.”

    If OPEC thinks they have us over a barrel, literally, on oil prices then they haven’t seen our obesity rates. This might be the real reason for the recent collapse in oil prices.

  • avatar
    50merc

    jaydez: “Bittner closed his practice, Beverly Hills Liposculpture, in November and moved to South America to do volunteer work at a clinic”

    Probably Dr. Mengele’s clinic. They do a lot of experimental work with human bodies.

  • avatar
    tesla deathwatcher

    Looking into it, the liposuction to fuel story seems to be bunk. The only evidence of it is Bittner’s own website. That’s hardly trustworthy.

    The complaint against Bittner is for letting his unlicensed assistants do the work. Not for using human waste to power cars.

  • avatar
    Cyril Sneer

    I guess the embarrassment stems from Americans getting so fat that we can power Giant, Stupid SUVs with our discarded blubber. That makes sense.

    But a lot of posters seem disturbed that the byproduct is used for fuel … I would be more disturbed to learn that the fat wasn’t being used for something beneficial…

  • avatar
    tesla deathwatcher

    The Mustang story reminds me of a photograph out of the Depression era. A man standing by a car with a sign on it: “$100 buys this car. Must have cash. Lost all in the stock market.”

    A sign of the times.

  • avatar
    Phil Ressler

    It’s a big country; 300 million people headed for 400 million and beyond. Some “innovators” in a free culture have a loose screw. So we have our share of eccentrics — have you never traveled to see what the rest of the world offers in this category?

    Phil

  • avatar
    RedStapler

    A bit ghoulish perhaps, but he still gets points for being utilitarian.

    This months Diesel Power featured a 7.3L Powerstroke Excursion running on used transmission fluid. Most older low pressure injection diesels can tolerate low grade fuels. I would not want it in my fuel system when it gets cold.

  • avatar
    mikey

    adrift: Well said

  • avatar
    don1967

    Finally, a technology which simultaneously solves the problems of energy shortages and childhood obesity! All we need is a rear-seat interface to plug the little butterballs into the fuel cell.

    We’ll call it the Oprah Roadmaster…

  • avatar
    tesla deathwatcher

    Lumbergh, I agree with you, why not turn this human fat into biodiesel. It appears to be practical recycling. The amounts are not large, but I read that South Florida liposuction clinics alone generate 30,000 gallons a month of human fat alone.

    That’s 20,000 gallons of diesel, according to reports. Los Angeles probably doubles that. I’d bet that nationwide we could get a good 500,000 gallons a month.

    Barbara Ehrenreich wrote a funny piece in The Nation called “Liposuction: The Key to Energy Independence” back when gas prices were at their peak. (www.thenation.com/doc/20080707/ehrenreich) She meant it as satire. But there is a bit of truth in there.

    So using human fat from liposuction does not bother me. But it does get one thinking. If that, why stop there? 500,000 gallons a month is just a drop in the bucket. Do we really need graveyards and crematoriums? Wouldn’t it be better to just recycle ourselves? Get some use of Grandma?

    Just a thought.

  • avatar
    autonut

    Edward, could you print it after Hanukkah? How I suppose to eat fried latkes thinking of what shall happen to my love handles after power shaping?

  • avatar
    Michael Ayoub

    When I first read it, this is what caught my eye as being something-NSFW-wrong with this country:

    Puzzlingly, it is illegal to use human medical waste to power vehicles in California, …

    ‘Coz, you know, there’s a law against that. WHY THE HELL WOULD THERE BE A LAW AGAINST THAT?

  • avatar
    kurtamaxxguy

    http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,840772,00.html

    offers an article about how Rocket Research scientists modified human waste into a successful rocket fuel called MONET – X. It was awarded USA patent 3773574.

    Of course, that fuel would have to be banned in California. :-)

  • avatar
    quasimondo

    You can always find an overpriced vehicle on eBay, whether it’s the Mustang pictured above, or a similarly gaudy Civic with a non-VTEC engine and automatic transmission that looks like all the work on it was performed by somebody who was definitely not mechanically inclined. There is something wrong with this country, but trying to sell a Mustang at this hyperinflated value isn’t what’s wrong here.

  • avatar

    I use waste fryer oil to make my BioDiesel, which is secondary recycling. But human fat, that is TERTIARY recycling… brilliant!

    Keep eating those french fries folks, energy independence is within our grasp!

    –chuck

  • avatar
    Chris Inns

    You have to feel a little sorry for the mustang guy. One day he’s doing fine, making heaps of money off real estate and the stock market or whatever, the next day he finds himself broke, up to his eyeballs in debt with only this — thing — to his name.

    But at least he’s got guts asking a $million for it, even if he’s only joking. He should become a used car salesman.

  • avatar
    fincar1

    “You have to feel a little sorry for the mustang guy.”

    Yeah, he probably went to a car lot to try to trade it and the guy told him “Oh yeah, do you know how much it’ll cost me to put it back to stock?”

  • avatar
    Landcrusher

    No one will be surprised, but I find the fact that Cali actually has a law against that much more disturbing than some actually doing it. Is there some ACTUAL reason for this law? I mean, I can only hope there is some foresight involved rather than some lawmakers smoking weed while in session.

  • avatar
    westcott

    Well, as my father always used to say,”Half of the people in this world are below average!”

    I think that was what the seller of the Mustang was hoping for. Somebody as stupid as he was.

    When oil reserves run out in the coming decades, American body fat may be our only salvation since we all abhore nuclear energy and have made it illegal to use in several states.

    Charlton Heston would be proud!!!!!

  • avatar
    ZoomZoom

    I found Areitu’s post more interesting than the subject matter. Go figure!

    Areitu :

    I’d give him 1 million Zimbabwe dollars.

    A few weeks ago I was walking into the 7-11 around the block from my apartment. A woman standing next to the door asked me a question.

    “Wanna buy me a turkey sandwich?”

    “Sure, I’ll check.”

    That’s your second mistake. Your first was making eye contact.

    She specified the kind she wanted, I go inside, look for her turkey sandwich and see that it was $4.00. I’m not buying a stranger a sandwich that cost more than my lunch. I go back outside.

    “They don’t have the one you want.”

    Okay, that was funny.

    “So? There’s another 7-11 over there.”

    They think fast on their feet, don’t they?

    I gave her the pennies out of my car’s coin tray.

    Sucker. Never show them where you keep your money. You’re lucky you weren’t rolled.

    In hindsight, I should have said, I’ll be back in a few minutes, and took the long way home.

    They have you right where they want you; feeling that you have to explain yourself. Guilt = you opening your wallet.

    I’ve had a pair of women ask me for “bus fare” because their fuel pump broke and they needed a ride home and promised to mail me a check if I gave them my address. They were both holding large slurpees. I’ve had someone ask me for gas money because he “forgot his wallet.” I figured he had at least 30 miles to go if it just turned on.

    There’s always the one walking through the gas station parking lot with the gas can. They don’t want the gas, believe me. They want you to feel guilty and give them a $5 bill. But it’s Christmas, so you’ll give them a $20, right?

    False sense of entitlement, anyone?

    It’s not false if it works. If you give them pennies, it’s working. But who would just give them pennies? Because after all, it’s cold out…or they can’t possibly eat a meal on a few pennies…or a gallon of gas is simply not going to cut it for that beat-up old van they’re driving.

    That’s when they’ve got you. The more you give them, the less it’s a “false” sense of entitlement, yes?

    Sorry if that sounds mean, but I had a long and candid conversation with a “Sign Guy” in Toledo many years ago. Of all places, it was at the laundromat, while our clothes were tumbling around in the dryers. That conversation was a real eye-opener. And after that, I stopped giving money to any and all beggars.

  • avatar
    Areitu

    Just tonight, someone in front of the gas station asked me to buy them a 99 cent bag of sour cream and onion chips from the gas station. I gave him two cigarettes and he seemed pretty satisfied.

    There’s always the one walking through the gas station parking lot with the gas can. They don’t want the gas, believe me. They want you to feel guilty and give them a $5 bill. But it’s Christmas, so you’ll give them a $20, right?

    Actually it happened a while ago, during the summer. I gave the two of them the ten dollar bill in my wallet and the address to the dorm I was living in at the time, hoping they would actually reimburse me.

  • avatar
    Sanman111

    You know, if you break down the logic of some of these beggar arguments, it really doesn’t work. I lived in Virginia for a few years, but kept the NY plates on my car. Wouldn’y you know the same guy approached me 6 times over the course of 2 years asking for gas money because his car ran out nearby. Initially I ignored him, but after the first couple of times, but I really wanted to mess with him after that. So, I once told him that I would go fill gas into a gas can and bring it to his car rather than give him money. I’ll give him credit, he never backed down from his story.

    I had a guy ask me for a sandwich once, I said yes and had the gall to ask if it could be tuna w/cheese and a foot long. Yeah, I took my sandwich and ducked out the back while he was waiting.

    On a positive note, I was once in D.C. strolling down Pennsylvania Ave with a female friend at night. A man came up to us with roses and spun a story about how I had met with him earlier and arranged for him to bring her flowers here. I ended up talking to the guy for a few and he told me he goes to a local flower shop everyday and collects the roses they are getting rid of and goes around finding couples to give flowers to for whatever donation they could afford. I ended giving him $10 and a getting a rose for my friend simply becuase I admired his ingenuity.

  • avatar
    50merc

    Sanman111: “he told me he goes to a local flower shop everyday and collects the roses they are getting rid of and goes around finding couples to give flowers to for whatever donation they could afford.”

    He’s not a beggar, he’s a businessman! I admire his initiative. Some of the stories on this thread remind me of the anecdotes I heard about con artists/”travelers” from a friend who ran a Traveler’s Aid agency. One sure sign of a phony hard luck story: the poor guy/gal won’t do any work (like pushing a broom or sorting clothes for a couple hours) to earn some cash.

  • avatar

    Mustang Story: Well at least with this bailout, you get something. It aint much, but better than you are likely to see with TARP, Wall Street, and Detroit.

    BioFuel Story: Ew.

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