Nitpicking Anal Retentive OCD Pistonheads Unite! Your Times Is At Hand!
Jerry Garrett of The New York Times has “driven dozens of new cars each year for nearly 30 years.” Who knew? Even though I’m not familiar with Garrett’s car canon, it’s clear the writer’s time was well spent, in an Andy Rooney “Have you ever looked at a doorknob?” kinda way. “‘Does this bother you?'” Garrett’s rant begins. “Well, actually, shining a bright light in my eyes from out of the darkness does bother me; when I’m behind the wheel, it drives me nuts. It reminds me of an interrogation technique. This bright light in question is actually the map light. It is positioned above my rearview mirror. Of course, it renders the rearview mirror useless, but more than that, it blinds me when I drive. It is a real safety issue, but my passenger wants to read while I drive. Who would design such a thing?” Damn his eyes! Why doesn’t Garrett doesn’t name names? Anyway, the rest of his “Five Things I Hate About New Cars”? Too small sun visors, the lack of fish-eyed rear view mirrors, chimes that won’t shut up after ten dings and cars that don’t have a little arrow to show you upon which side of the car the fuel filler cap resides. And now, it’s your turn, overly-loud and cheap-sounding clicking noise or “how the Hell do I cancel these damn things” BMW signals included.
More by Robert Farago
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Some of the first cars I ever owned (early 70s Mopars) had the gas tank fill behind the rear license plate, so I could just pull up to whichever pump was available. Why don't they make cars like that anymore? I also remember when automatics had the shifter tucked behind the steering wheel. This frees up floor space in the front. I also miss bench seats. I could probably carry two passengers (instead of one) with me in my X-90 if it had a bench seat and the gear shifter behind the steering wheel.
Eighty years ago Ford had the perfect location for the gas filler cap: center of the cowl, right in front of the windshield where the driver can see it. No need for a little arrow to tell you which side the filler cap is on, and if you weren't sure of the gas guage's accuracy, you could just peer closely at the gauge window and see if gas was sloshing around in the tank. Now, what could possibly go wrong? Oh, a few nervous nellies expressed some doubt about the wisdom of having the gas tank right in the laps of the driver and front passenger. But hey, would you rather drive a Pinto Fireball? There was an old joke that bad luck was having an Audi 5000 behind you and a Pinto in front.
I'm not going to read all the way through this endless thread to find out if somebody already answered this, but the fuel-pump icon has nothing to do with which side the gas door is on. If the pump handle and door are on the same side on your car, it's coincidence. On many cars, the door and pump handle are on opposite sides. The fuel-pump icon is defined as to size, shape and exact symbology by the International Bureau of Standards, I think it's called. Nobody is allowed to put the pump handle on the--uh, left side? Can't remember. Anyway, if you don't believe me, go to snopes.com, the great debunker of this and many other urban legends.
I dislike the thick, steeply raked A pillars that are so common. And I really, really, really hate that the instrument panel lights can be turned on while headlights and/or taillights remain off. No, REALLY.