Ask the Best and Brightest: Does Anyone Have A BETTER Copy of the Pro-Detroit Viral Email?

Thanks to stringent libel laws and gag orders, they used to do this crap all the time in the UK: run a media story about another media story without telling you what was in the original media story. In this case, it’s an pro-Detroit, anti-Toyota viral email that’s grabbed the attention of The Detroit Free Press‘ numero uno propagandist, Mark Phelan. The columnist is incensed– incensed I tell you– that someone is making the right case for Motown’s teat suckle using spin and, gasp, twisting facts. And just in case this amateur apologist needs some helpful hints, Phelan’s lede takes a shot at a certain southern senator. “With friends like these, who needs Alabama Sen. Richard Shelby? Shelby, of course, became the public face of contempt for Detroit’s automakers with his staunch opposition to congressional aid. Some of the Detroit Three’s would-be supporters may now inadvertently further damage the industry’s cause. There’s a slick viral ad making rounds by e-mail that attempts to defend Detroit’s automakers by showing that foreign brands aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. Riddled with distortions and lies, it could do more harm than good.” So spill sister! Some quotes please. Only one, but it’s a doozy.

“Titled ‘We can do whatever we want. Because our poop don’t stink,’ the viral ad features a photo of a particularly bloated-looking Toyota Sequoia SUV. The provocative headline expresses a widely held frustration that U.S. automakers get no credit for building hybrids and fuel-efficient vehicles, while foreign brands get a free pass when they sell big gas-guzzlers.”

Widely-held? Yes, it’s true: Phelan is no student of irony. Whatsoever. Judge for yourself as he attempts to deconstruct the email’s Tundra to Tahoe mpg throw down.

“It claims the Sequoia’s fuel economy is an awful 4 miles per gallon worse than the comparably large Chevrolet Suburban. That’s true only if you compare the most fuel-efficient Suburban to the worst Sequoia. It’s a textbook case of using statistics to mislead. What makes the misrepresentation particularly damnable is that you don’t have to cheat to make the Suburban look good. Head-to-head against the most fuel-efficient Sequoia, Chevy wins by 1 m.p.g.”

In fact, Phelan plea to the unknown email orginator would be funny– if it weren’t so pathetic.