By on November 3, 2008

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32 Comments on “Stand Here. Read This....”


  • avatar

    Sorry to the previous commentators for losing your comments. WP is doing some screwy stuff. Please repost your bon mots.

  • avatar
    golf4me

    Can someone please post this with a narrator that doesn’t kill words like he kills rival gangmembers? I just have to ax the question…

  • avatar
    arapaima

    God, that thing’s hideous. The narrator also needs to step away from the note cards.

  • avatar
    OldandSlow

    I don’t care for the instrument cluster and dash board. Is that supposed to make a statement?

  • avatar
    Stephan Wilkinson

    You ought to see their website. ARtv apparently stands for Automotive Rhythms TV. All I could stand was to briefly watch the beginning of their Maserati Quattroporte video (“live from Salzburg, Austria”). the narrator opens by saying “Bahn jeeyorno…” and pronounces Quattroporte “Qwahtro-portay.”

    He also announces that “Maserati has arrived,” apparently unaware that they actually arrived long before he was born.

  • avatar
    John R

    Wow. Does this person having something personal against the English language?

  • avatar
    Johnny Canada

    As a Canadian in all seriousness, I actually enjoy kickin’ it at Automotive Rhythms. Those dogs know how to keep it real. Peace!

  • avatar
    TomAnderson

    Um….word?

  • avatar

    This was very poorly read, crummy VO work. However, I don’t think that the reader was a member of a gang nor a killer, though he sounds black. It’s really unfortunate that the comments here so quickly took a racial turn dependent on violent stereotypes.

  • avatar

    If I get a Camaro, it’ll look like this.

    http://jalopnik.com/photogallery/gmperformancecamarosema/1004348993

    I just want GM to be on better footing before I buy, that’s all.

    http://jalopnik.com/5075091/chevy-hits-sema-with-four-camaro-concepts-and-a-load-of-accessories

  • avatar

    Did he say “global rail-road drive architecture?”

  • avatar
    foolish

    Ok, enough is enough. It’s not funny anymore. What is the dash actually going to look like?

  • avatar
    kurtamaxxguy

    Hip Hop-themed ultra lo budget promo.

  • avatar
    golf4me

    kazoomaloo…I don’t think anyone had mentioned race. The real problem with society these days is that you CAN’T mention anything that may be even CONSTRUED as racial. Witness the popularity of Osama…err Obama. If half his starstruck sheeple supporters really knew what he was about, he’d still be in the Illinois senate. Alas, the mainstream media, even Fox News won’t touch him with a ten foot pole for fear of being labeled racist. Well, that and not having to deal with the lawyer-thugs he’d send to investigate them…

    BTW…my wife is black. Even she thought this narrator was a joke.

  • avatar
    VerbalKint

    Accurately reflects the excitement GM’s products engender in the consumer market. Kinda like the way the computer generated voice “Please hold. Your call is very important to us…” convinces me somebody really cares…

  • avatar
    John R

    @golf4me

    …popularity of Osama…err Obama…

    See, when you say something like this it sinks your entire ability to persuade. You had a point…until then.

    You could be adopted by Mr and Mrs. Huxtable for all I know (let alone saying you have a Black spouse), but because you decided to reveal the fact you have xenophobic issues (conflating two foreign names to reinforce the ridiculous notion that Obama is Middle eastern terrorist), there really isn’t anything you can say that a rational person would find informative.

  • avatar
    Areitu

    Sounds like someone trying to imitate a rastafarian.

  • avatar
    mpc220

    Osama…err Obama

    In a time of war, you’re going to spread this nonsense? All it does is embolden our enemies. Now is not the time to question who might very well be our next CIC.

    Have a little respect for the position and our troops who are in harm’s way.

  • avatar
    Slare

    Accents are one thing but incorrect pronunciation (Califers, anyone?) and terrible narration are universal.

    Going to be a long time before I’m convinced sound has any business on the net.

    Check out the SEMA concepts.

    Foolish and I are on the same page about the dash and wheel. Something’s not right when I prefer a Malibu interior. Going aggressive is one thing but that interior already has me thinking I’ll be waiting even longer to pick up a used model after the mid cycle refresh.

  • avatar
    Jordan Tenenbaum

    Where’s Billy Mays when you need him?

  • avatar
    billc83

    Rappers are getting lazier.

    Still, I rate this track at two mics, cause the production is sick, yo.

  • avatar
    Stephan Wilkinson

    Some time ago, I read one of these websites that purports to “review” cars, and the writer commented on the Boxster’s “row bars,” which is in fact what he thought they were called, when I explained it to him.

    Reminds me of the time I drove into a Manhattan parking garage with a vivid yellow SUV of some sort–don’t remember what it was, but the parking attendant was disappointed when I got close enough that he could read the nameplate. “Aw man,” he said, “I thought you was drivin’ one of them new Nissan Exteriors.”

  • avatar
    Usta Bee

    I guess they got this guy for the voice over job because William Shatner, Gilbert Gottfried, and Fran Drescher were all busy.

    As far as the Nissan Exterior comment goes, when I was in electronics sales I once had a redneck guy ask about “High Defiance” televisions.

  • avatar
    Stephan Wilkinson

    And when I once toured a cave in Tennessee where they’d found Indian remains, the tour guide said they were able to find out exactly how old the artifacts were by sending them to a university to have them “carbonated.”

  • avatar
    Austin Greene

    That V/O is a sad, check very sad, commentary on the state of American schools.

  • avatar
    Brian Tiemann

    Wait a sec. How is “Quattroporte” supposed to be pronounced, if not “Qwahtro-portay”?

    I mean, there’s some massaging of the vowels to be done to make it sound properly Italian, but the syllables are all there just as in any Romance language.

    I’m personally glad that at least in the US we tend to pronounce “Maserati” correctly, not in the British manner (in which the first syllable rhymes with “razz”).

  • avatar
    Brian Tiemann

    But don’t get me started about how everybody I’ve ever heard say it butchers “MurcieLAHgo”. I mean, c’mon, that accent on the “é” is there for a reason, folks…

  • avatar

    Forgetting the accent, its the cadence. I also did not know you needed Executive Producers and Editors for 1:24 of recycled GM B-Roll.

  • avatar

    @foolish

    I’m with you. They can’t be serious about launching the car with that dash.

  • avatar

    I like the way the interior looks. It’s better than the parts-bin raiding in the Challenger, amirite?

  • avatar
    Stephan Wilkinson

    Brian, as far as I know, the Italian for doors is pronounced “port,” since there’s no accent over the e. But then I don’t speak Italian, only French, and maybe the Italians don’t use accent marks.

    It’s sort of like the universally mispronounced French word forte, which means strength. (“His forte is endurance races…”) It’s properly pronounced in English “fort,” or in French “for.” But everybody says “for-tay,” which would only be correct if there were an accent over the e.

  • avatar
    seoultrain

    To quote Brian Griffin:

    “Is it just me, or is rap getting lazier?”

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