MINI Clubman JCW is Extremely Ugly

Justin Berkowitz
by Justin Berkowitz
mini clubman jcw is extremely ugly

This season the blokes over at BMW have blessed us with two relatively diMINuative product announcements. First, they showed us the MINI Clubman. It's antithetical to the MINI brand, it's ugly, it's impractical, the micro suicide door is only on one side, the barn doors obscure vision and it's ugly. You should hate the Clubman as if it had slept with your ex-girlfriend. And she liked it. As if that wasn't too much, this week MINI previewed the John Cooper Works (JCW) performance packages that will officially be unveiled at Geneva. Though hideously overpriced, the JCW pack gets 'er done, We're talking a horsepower boost (to 207hp), upgraded suspension, a new performance exhaust and some crass alloys. But the JCW's real coup: how it transforms the already ugly Clubman into the ugliest car currently on sale in the United States. MINI says the Clubman is a more practical MINI; with the JCW package it really is da bomb [paraphrasing]. I reckon it's so vile that it may, in ten years, have all the reverse appeal of the Pontiac Aztek.

[Pixamo gallery of the Gorgonesque Clubman here.]

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4 of 15 comments
  • Beetlebug Beetlebug on Feb 26, 2008

    Basically this isn't supposed to appeal or be of utility to everyone. It's a niche car and as such is polarizing. I like the "bread van" look myself, but it's a matter of personal taste.

  • Blix Blix on Feb 26, 2008

    @beetlebug - i agree, it's definitely not for everyone. i think it's endearing but i can see many others not liking the appearance. beetlebug : February 26th, 2008 at 12:21 pm Basically this isn’t supposed to appeal or be of utility to everyone. It’s a niche car and as such is polarizing. I like the “bread van” look myself, but it’s a matter of personal taste.

  • Landcrusher Landcrusher on Feb 26, 2008

    It's not as cute as the MINI, but I don't think bringing up the Aztek is justified at all. I suspect they will tone down some of the gimicks in a year or two, and it will look fine.

  • Foolish Foolish on Feb 28, 2008

    My only problem with the Clubman is the "accent color" c-pillars and rear bumper. They look terrible in nearly every color combination I've seen. I was hoping that like the other MINIs you'd be able to order the car all in one color, but if you go to the MINI site, you have to get these, even if you go with body-color mirrors and roof. They do actually look worse on the JCW, because the center stripes plus the barn doors, plus the c-pillar colors make the back end WAY too fussy/busy. It's a shame, too. The Clubman could be a good fit for my next car needs.