TTAC Photochop: New BMW X3

Robert Farago
by Robert Farago
ttac photochop new bmw x3

Count me amongst those who consider the BMW X3 the ugliest vehicle the propeller people have ever inflicted upon an all-too-willing public. I also consider it to be about as much of an "ultimate driving machine" as a sit-down lawn mower. In fact, when the model was first unleashed, its ride was so harsh even the normally acquiescent mainstream automotive press felt obliged to warn potential customers to put their dentist on speed dial. As it's getting time to reinvent the X3, we turned to our resident photochopper for a guess where the mess might be headed. Mr. Avarvarii reports: "When I started working on this project I imagined a gorgeous looking car at the end of the road, as I am quite a BMW fan. So I started by mixing some X3 DNA with the latest tendency in BMW’s design philosophy (see flame-surfacing, axe-surfacing and non-surfacing) and a little drop of the “be-ahead-of-the-competition-by-any-means” secret potion. What I got out of that salad, as you can see, is no prince. In my defense, the first X3 was the ugliest Bimmer ever. Why should the next one be different? Seriously now, as BMW’s “X” family is expanding, the X3 has to step up, following his older brother, the X5, and making room for the new kid, the X1. As the sporty-sleek-charming role has been already taken by the X6, the next-gen X3 will get to be the macho-wannabe-chubby-evil-son."

[For more Avarvarii photochopistry, click here.]

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4 of 12 comments
  • Yankinwaoz Yankinwaoz on Dec 10, 2007

    I think I saw one this morning driving down State Street in Santa Barbara. You could tell is was an undercover prototype. It had all the markings removed, black, and lots of tape all over it hiding some critical parts. In the center of the hood was a nice deep circle recess where a VW or BMW logo would fit. I just looked at the photoshop image above and realized that was the car I saw this morning. Wish I had my camera with me. I should have shot it.

  • Ajla Ajla on Dec 10, 2007

    I never used to like the X3 until I saw the X3 X-raid version that was built for the Dakar rally. Even though that modified X3 and the street version share nearly nothing, it still caused me to start liking them.

  • Redbarchetta Redbarchetta on Dec 10, 2007

    That looks like a BMW with a Go-ti or something that makes it look real heavyset in the front. BMW should have stayed out of the SUV game but at the least they should have tried a new design language instead of trying to use the same old sedan front.

  • Andras Libal Andras Libal on Dec 11, 2007

    I agree ... BMW, Porsche, Audi, Volvo, etc. all European car makers who make perfectly good and sensible looking cars are forced to make SUV s for the North American market because this is (STILL, sadly) what this market demands. Just please do not say that they came up with these proportions on their own. I hope that with rising fuels costs the recent move to crossovers (perhaps wagons - or, anathema, hatchbacks ?) will be permanent. There is no sensible reason to want an SUV. Obesity rates will hopefully level off and reverse in cars until we get to healthy [s]bmi[/s] mpg levels.