Crapwagon Outtake, Viral Sensation Division: 1996 Honda Accord Coupe

Chris Tonn
by Chris Tonn

It’s a running joke around here, but like the best humor, it comes from a kernel of truth: TTAC should always write about Hondas. Every article — Honda. Readers just can’t seem to get enough of the Big H.

California filmmaker Max Lanman knows what’s up. Either he’s been lurking in TTAC’s Slack, or he’s hacked our Google Analytics — but in the course of a day, nearly half a million people have tuned in to his commercial showcasing an eBay auction for his girlfriend’s well-used 1996 Honda Accord.

As expected, it’s working.

As of this writing — and with six days left on the auction — 87 bids have been registered, sitting (for now) at $20,400.

The power of social media compels you to bid, apparently. Kelley Blue Book gives this magnificent pride of Marysville a somewhat lower value:

One could even drive home a brand-new, Ace of Base-approved Honda Civic LX Coupe for but $540 more:

Overall, this Accord seems to be in reasonable condition for its age. The southern California location has helped, certainly — salt will destroy a 1990s Honda in short order. The leather looks to be well-worn, but serviceable. The bumpers show evidence of parking by Braille, and the Autocheck report provided by eBay shows evidence of two prior accidents. Still, when considering a collector’s item such as this beauty, those are minor data points.

It seems the port-installed front-seat coffee maker is not included in the sale, however.

So, intrepid car buyers of the B&B – at what dollar figure do you think this will top out?

[Images: eBay; Screenshots courtesy YouTube, Kelley Blue Book, Honda]

Chris Tonn
Chris Tonn

Some enthusiasts say they were born with gasoline in their veins. Chris Tonn, on the other hand, had rust flakes in his eyes nearly since birth. Living in salty Ohio and being hopelessly addicted to vintage British and Japanese steel will do that to you. His work has appeared in eBay Motors, Hagerty, The Truth About Cars, Reader's Digest, AutoGuide, Family Handyman, and Jalopnik. He is a member of the Midwest Automotive Media Association, and he's currently looking for the safety glasses he just set down somewhere.

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  • THX1136 THX1136 on Nov 06, 2017

    Well done ad, and expensive if done "at work" - especially the aerials. I was thinking about the cat also, but not where it went after arriving at the destination. More of a "in case of a collision" type of scenario. I would agree with the $2K point - give or take.

  • Ryoku75 Ryoku75 on Nov 06, 2017

    $500? Sure $1200? Maybe $2000? No thanks $26,000? Either trollin' or way too doped up on Honda I haven't heard great things about the EX Accords if this generation. You get nice extra features, but the Vtec goes through oil if you beat on it too much. Btw Is that 26mpg hwy estimate accurate?

  • CoastieLenn I would do dirrrrrrty things for a pristine 95-96 Thunderbird SC.
  • Whynotaztec Like any other lease offer it makes sense to compare it to a purchase and see where you end up. The math isn’t all that hard and sometimes a lease can make sense, sometimes it can’t. the tough part with EVs now is where is the residual or trade in value going to be in 3 years?
  • Rick T. "If your driving conditions include near-freezing temps for a few months of the year, seek out a set of all-seasons. But if sunshine is frequent and the spectre of 60F weather strikes fear into the hearts of your neighbourhood, all-seasons could be a great choice." So all-seasons it is, apparently!
  • 1995 SC Should anyone here get a wild hair and buy this I have the 500 dollar tool you need to bleed the rear brakes if you have to crack open the ABS. Given the state you will. I love these cars (obviously) but trust me, as an owner you will be miles ahead to shell out for one that was maintained. But properly sorted these things will devour highway miles and that 4.6 will run forever and should be way less of a diva than my blown 3.8 equipped one. (and forget the NA 3.8...140HP was no match for this car).As an aside, if you drive this you will instantly realize how ergonomically bad modern cars are.These wheels look like the 17's you could get on a Fox Body Cobra R. I've always had it in the back of my mind to get a set in the right bolt pattern so I could upgrade the brakes but I just don't want to mess up the ride. If that was too much to read, from someone intamately familiar with MN-12's, skip this one. The ground effects alone make it worth a pass. They are not esecially easy to work on either.
  • Macca This one definitely brings back memories - my dad was a Ford-guy through the '80s and into the '90s, and my family had two MN12 vehicles, a '93 Thunderbird LX (maroon over gray) purchased for my mom around 1995 and an '89 Cougar LS (white over red velour, digital dash) for my brother's second car acquired a year or so later. The Essex V6's 140 hp was wholly inadequate for the ~3,600 lb car, but the look of the T-Bird seemed fairly exotic at the time in a small Midwest town. This was of course pre-modern internet days and we had no idea of the Essex head gasket woes held in store for both cars.The first to grenade was my bro's Cougar, circa 1997. My dad found a crate 3.8L and a local mechanic replaced it - though the new engine never felt quite right (rough idle). I remember expecting something miraculous from the new engine and then realizing that it was substandard even when new. Shortly thereafter my dad replaced the Thunderbird for my mom and took the Cougar for a new highway commute, giving my brother the Thunderbird. Not long after, the T-Bird's 3.8L V6 also suffered from head gasket failure which spelled its demise again under my brother's ownership. The stately Cougar was sold to a family member and it suffered the same head gasket fate with about 60,000 miles on the new engine.Combine this with multiple first-gen Taurus transmission issues and a lemon '86 Aerostar and my dad's brand loyalty came to an end in the late '90s with his purchase of a fourth-gen Maxima. I saw a mid-90s Thunderbird the other day for the first time in ages and it's still a fairly handsome design. Shame the mechanicals were such a letdown.
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