With U.S. dealers complaining that VW's new Tiguan SUV is too small and too expensive, the Boys from Wolfsburg are planning to launch a new Passat-based ute. Autocar reports that the new seven-seater will slot between the Tiguan and the Touareg, with Volvo's new XC60 as its main competitor. VW opted against doing a Nissan Quashqai +2 style stretch of the Tiguan or an Audi Q5 reskin in favor of adapting a next-generation Passat platform. We're talking shared components (especially with the Golf), transverse engines and the possibility of Skoda and Seat versions. Volkswagen has dispatched a crack team of marketers to scour the globe for the weirdest names the planet has to offer. (They set the bar with "Tiguan.") Any suggestions?
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Um… nomadic tribes (Touareg), winds (Scirocco), sports (Golf) of animal name mashups (Tiguan).
Let’s see.
Nomads… VW Qashqai? No, doesn’t work. VW Tibetan? Could be a problem on the Chinese market. VW Kazahk? What would Borat drive? VW Sarakatsani? Better. VW Yörük? Umlauterrific. VW Hun? Excellent.
Winds… VW Sama? VW Khamsin? VW Buran? VW Pampero? VW Zonda? VW Monsoon?
Sports… VW Soccer (it’s a 7-seater after all)
Animal name mashups… let’s see. The Tiguan is a mashup of “Leguan”, which is German for iguana, and “Tiger”, which is German for tiger.
For a 7-seater, we need to focus on roominess and intelligent solution. Let’s see, elephants are big, that’s good, and dolphins are intelligent. So what about naming it the Elephin?
How about the Craptastic? Or is that not weird enough? At least it’s honest about the VW ownership experience.
Hmmm, weird names that start with ‘T’. How about “Tar-Telemmaitë”. In the Lord of the Rings, this was the 15th ruler of Numenor. His name means “Silver-handed”, reflecting his greed for the precious metal Mithril. (Thanks to Wikipedia.)
Jeez, VW, just build the MicroBus. Look at the success of the New Beetle… totally useless in so many ways and, yet, people buy them. If the MicroBus has some actual utility to it, people will snap it up.
brettc, Are you referring to the quality, durability and reliability of VWs? If so, I’m entirely in agreement. They ARE fun to drive but driving it mostly to the shop kinda takes the luster off the experience. Not to mention watching it get towed there.
I was mightily impressed by Nissan’s use of the how-the-Hell-do-we-pronounce-it Qashgai (even though I was pissed they didn’t do anything for the actual tribe, which could use the money). Along the same line, I’m partial to ancient Greek tribal names…
Hyrcanian (a perfect hire car?)
Parthian (though speakers with a speech impediment will be greatly displeased)
Chorasmian (too chloraseptic?)
Sogdian (sounds suitably rude)
AEgli (now we’re getting there)
Sacae (Hawkeye Pierce’s cousin)
Sargartii (bless you!)
Sattagydian (sounds like a winner)
Apartae (RSA might take offense)
Thamaenean (Harry Potter fans rejoice!)
Mirko:
My understanding is that Golf is also a wind (gulf stream), aber mein Deutsch ist nicht so gut…
brettc, Are you referring to the quality, durability and reliability of VWs? If so, I’m entirely in agreement. They ARE fun to drive but driving it mostly to the shop kinda takes the luster off the experience. Not to mention watching it get towed there.
Yes, I’m referring to those 3 things, along with VW dealers. Because if you don’t go to a VW dealer to have your car worked on, you really don’t get the full “Vaseline required” experience.
Keep in mind that I do like VWs. I currently own two Jetta TDIs and I have also owned two older Jetta diesels. The only way to effectively care for a VW is through an independent shop that you can trust, or do it yourself. I let a dealer touch my car a year after I bought it to do an alignment and a state inspection, but after that experience, never again!
I think VWs can be durable and reliable with the proper preventative maintenance, but they are definitely not cars that you just drive and forget cars. VW really needs to address their dealership problems, and their reliability problems if they want to hit their 800000 car a year goal in 10 years.
A girl I work with recently got her 2001 Golf paid off, and she traded it on a leased Versa not long after. I asked her why, and it’s because she couldn’t afford to keep fixing the Golf. So far my TDIs have been good cars, but I know there are still a lot of lemons out there, which will keep turning people off and going to other brands.
way to be late to the party. it’s almost ended…
what is VW smoking
how about playing to your strengths?
if you can sell small, roomy, sturdy, safe and fuel efficient cars outside of NA, perhaps you should try selling them in NA?
how about a 75 mpg polo?
or a 60 mpg rabbit/jetta?
if VWNA was on the ball, they’d have had their new diesel available for sale in the USA from DAY 1 of the new diesel regulations across their entire model line. if people are willing to ’stoop’ to buy a ford focus that gets 35 mpg, I’m pretty sure they’d buy a VW that gets 50 mpg…
Agree with improvement_needed.
VW has some of the best small cars in the world (Golf/Polo/Lupo), but let Honda and Toyota scoop them by a couple of years with cars like the Fit and the Yaris. At least the current Golf is reasonably priced at $15k base, but it’s still a money-loser from everything I’ve read.
Anyway, dealers are supposed to have ONE new diesel test model on lots in may, with customer deliveries to begin in August. I’m excited to drive one and maybe pick one up used in a couple years.
The Gulf Stream is an ocean current that begins in the Gulf of Mexico and makes its way northeast to Europe where it becomes the North Atlantic Drift. Europeans have this to thank for not freezing over every winter.
If not the sport of Golf, than why the dimpled shifter knob?
red5: I don’t think there’s a word for it in English. We only have the ocean current name, but they have one for the wind, as well (just like Passat=tradewind).
But they call it the Rabbit here now, so it’s moot in the US.
Jai-Alai.
@ash78
My understanding is that Golf is also a wind (gulf stream), aber mein Deutsch ist nicht so gut…
Das Deutsch ist schon gut! Gulf stream = Golfstrom. I think they just made up that Golf = Gulf stream thing though. Volkswagen’s first FWD hatchback was called the Polo, the larger Golf came out a few years later. Is there a Polo wind?
@improvement_needed
how about a 75 mpg polo?
or a 60 mpg rabbit/jetta?
Doesn’t exist even in Europe. The best VW seems to be able to do is a 60 mpg Polo and a 52 mpg Golf.
Why not follow the other strategy of just rebadging an Aspen or Durango?
VW late again? April fools is 1 Apr. Tiguan is not even here yet and they are predicting that it’s not what the market wants?
The VW Rugby….perfect.
All that VW needs to do to find oddball names is to take a trip to Ikea.
Start with Lack, Ektorp, Gullhomen, and Leksvik as candidates.
Tiguan? How about Tiguoff? Or should it be Tick-u-off?
I’m hoping for something tasteless.
“Volkswagen Panzer. The most lebensraum in it’s class”
My suggestion would be VW Guglhupf, because it’s a piece of cake, sounds remotely new-economy Googlish, and was the Führer’s favorite desert.