As for the Compass, I don’t think any self-respecting Berliner would buy that car. (Look at the license plate.)

What about those Ferrari’s that catch fire on the way off the dealer’s lot?

Ferarri 612, IIRC.

Um, what about all of those Fords that spontaneously combust while parked in your garage?

All Fords that spontaneously combust (I know the F-150, maybe others?)

Still, I totally disagree that it’s the best off-roader on the market. I’d offroad in a Rubicon over the Cayenne any day of the week. I’d even prefer a Liberty Renegade.

I’ve never driven any Land Rovers, so I can’t comment, but as the “total package” goes, the Cayenne is tough to beat. I think I would prefer it over an X5, but that assumes that I would buy an SUV such as those, at all.

Still, I’d rather take the stupid-money required to own one and buy a Porsche Cayman and a Jeep. I’ve never liked all-in-ones. I prefer one-in-ones.

I’ve got to say that Top Gear video left something to be desired… I’ve driven over similar terrain in a Land Rover and in a Nissan Xterra. I saw nothing in that to demonstrate that the Cayenne is the “ultimate off-roader”. Just because Jeremy Clarkson sucks Porsche’s engineers’ ****s every chance he gets doesn’t mean that the car is so hot. I’ll absolutely buy that it does everything the BMW X5 is supposed to do about 100 times better, but being best looking pig in the barnyard doesn’t keep you from being a pig.

Despite that, the Cayenne (though obnoxious, ugly, overweight, over priced, and just plain offensive to me) is certainly no TWAT.

Ferarri 612, IIRC.

For eons, it was the standard of blandness. The more bland a car is, the less people it offends. People don’t like being offended, and Camry sold. Of course, other manufacturers like sales, too, so they started making their cars more bland. End result: Camry made bland, inoffensive design a standard for all but niche vechicles (want an example, look at subaru).

Which would all be great – bland car for bland people. BUT! Gray mass culture is loosing its core clientele. People who were bland in the 90’s are having a middle life crisis. They buy brawny Mustangs and Chrysler gangstermobiles. So, what does a company known for sticking to its model and brand essence do? They throw away the decades of Old Camry, put an “aggressive”, ugly face on the new one, and americanize it by adding foot-actuated emergency brake, lousy handling, and a bit of rattles and cheap plastic to spice it up. All in hopes of “catching back” its former clients. 2 decades of progress towards the perfect A-B transport down the drain.

The new Camry is the ultimate double-crossing, backstabbing bastard. It catalyzed turning the automobile into an appliance, and then bailed out at the first sign of trouble. And this is why it deserves to be a TWAT – it’s a symbol of all evil in the contemporary auto industry.

Jeep Compass – worst case example of a brand chaos generator.

Also approach and departure angels are not all that impressive (approach 32, departure 27, breakover 24 versus 44/34/25 for a Jeep Wrangler Rubicon), neither are the axel-ratio (1:3.7) or low-range (1:2.7).

I also did not notice any recovery points on it (although it may be only me not being diligent enough).

Yes, it is fabulous off-road but no more than say a LandRover LR3 and certainly not in the same league as a Jeep Wrangler, LandRover Defender or Mercedes G.

What about dividing the ‘award’ between just ugly cars and badly engineered cars?

Of course with the Monte Carlo, these two intersect so harmoniously. It could – even by Martin Albright’s strict standards, be considered the worst 5 passenger coupe on the market today.

I was thinking about the SSR as a car that’s just so overpriced and basically useless that it actually makes you mad. So by a mile, worst ‘pickup’ (if in fact that is your REAL name) should easily be the SSR.

But the Crown Vic’s retail prices are so optimistic, it actually pisses you off. They want about the same for their “LX premium performance” version as Dodge asks for a Charger R/T. On a side note, even ordering the allegedly upscale LX package STILL doesn’t get you the damn 6 CD shuffler – it’s extra…who does that?
With a list price close to a Toyota Avalon, but sporting 50 fewer hp, the Crown Vic LX just might be…the WORST full size car for sale in the US.

For many reasons – including the “we’ve always done it this way” one – police department prefer relatively large, simple, rear-drive cars and the Crown Vic is pretty much it, at least in the price ranges that any municipality, county or state is willing to pay (IOW I don’t expect to see a Chrysler 300 or Dodge Magnum in police livery any time soon) so that may be why Ford (a) keeps the thing in production and (b) hasn’t updated it much in years.

Thousands of guaranteed sales per year and the eternal gratitude of the folks in blue probably bolsters the business sense of the decision, too. I know a lot of LEAs were upset when Chevy finally axed their rear-drive Caprice (at least one of the police models had a Corvette engine in it) and Ford may enjoy being the maker of the most ubiquitous police car on the road.

“The Ranger might still be the compact truck I would buy, but Ford deserves a punch in the face for letting this once popular model wither away like it has. I am not saying they should make it bigger and more complicated, but they definitely shouldn’t have stopped development completely.”

Okay, point taken. I don’t actually agree (I’m more of a “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” guy) but I’ll concede that it’s a valid issue, nevertheless, we should not lose track of the fact that the “W” in TWAT means “Worst.” Neither the Camry nor the Ranger/B Series are the “worst” of anything (the mere fact that they may not be the best doesn’t make them the worst.)

“Worst” has a specific meaning. It doesn’t mean “The car I wouldn’t be caught dead in because of its image” (whether SUV or Prius.) Jonny is right to defend the Cayenne, regardless of whether you despise SUVs and/or the people who drive them. This is (or should be) an evaluation of the vehicle, not the broad social trends that cause people to drive them.

Were I to define a “Worst” car, I would do it like this: Imagine that somebody you know and care about – friend or family member – is about to buy a car. Assume you aren’t the kind of jerk who would lecture someone about their choice of automobile for political reasons, but instead have genuine concern for their well being. Now, if this person were to say “I’m thinking of buying a _________.”

If, out of genuine concern for that person’s well-being you would have to tell that person “Oh, man, don’t buy that, they’re complete pieces of crap!” then I think you have a candidate for a TWAT.

But if you merely disagree with their choice (i.e. you hate SUVs or Hybrids or Imported cars or Domestic cars or pickup trucks) then I would say that’s not enough to make it a TWAT.

Great engineering never cheapens a brand.

Same goes for the Phaeton, which at the time of its release was the best car in the world.

Consider the evidence. Take a good, slow walk around a Camry. Pay particular attention to that “third eye” grille. Ask yourself: How could a human possibly design this?

Answer: Impossible (at least now that the designers of the Datsun B-210 have retired). The Camry is clearly the work of creatures who are trying much too hard to appear “normal” but haven’t quite mastered the basics of humanoid aesthetics.

Does this rise to the level of High TWATedness? Me thinks no. The drone-like quality of the Camry may be subverting our way of life, but it does so with remarkable all-around efficiency. That third eye even has a strangely mesmerizing quality. (Go ahead – try staring at it for half an hour.)

Let’s leave the wide-ranging policy implications of a space alien invasion to the political blogs. TTAC should be about cars in all of their glorious, adolescent excess. The TWAT awards should uphold for public ridicule the most incompetent shit boxes of our time.

Malibu? Okay. Tribeca? Definitely. Navigator? Burn in hell. But Camry? It’s too late to resist anyway.

The Maybach and Rolls designers seem to have taken a good look at Donald Trump’s hair and concluded that good styling just doesn’t matter to the wealthy male. This seems like a case of Target Customer product design gone mad!