By Robert Farago
October 23, 2007 -
Relax. The BLANK awards will continue exactly as planned. Same nomination process (now closed), same writers’ comments, same press release, same no-holds-barred excoriation. It’s just that our ad guy (yes, we have an ad guy) is adamant: TWAT is an acronym too far. Potential advertisers (yes we have potential advertisers) can’t abide the locker room humor. I’ve made an executive decision to capitulate on this “issue” for the greater good (i.e. money), because TTAC needs more resources (i.e. money) to survive and thrive. In other words, needs must, and a pile of rolling garbage by any other name will still smell so sweet. Meanwhile, can you please help us devise a new, less sophomoric name? Suggestions below ASAP. We’ll use it tomorrow to start the official voting. Never a dull moment, eh?
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POWERED
October 23rd, 2007 at 12:58 pm
Cars Really Aren’t Perfect?
Oh, you said *less* sophomoric. Why not just keep it simple and call it the “Worst List” or the “Bottom Ten” or something?
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:07 pm
I guess that’s the end of TBAG, too.
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:07 pm
How about TATA? Ten Autos To Avoid…
I like TRASH, also… “Ten Repugnant Autos Sold Here.”
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:09 pm
Worst Ten Failures Automotive Award
WTF-AA? Oh dang it, that won’t work either.
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:09 pm
I submit the following:
Rolling Examples of Automotive Mediocrity (or Manure, your choice :P)
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:10 pm
WART - Worst Automobiles Running Today
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:11 pm
TABLE: Ten Automobiles Befitting Low Expectations.
Put ‘em on the TABLE!
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:11 pm
The wooden spoon award, or the golden cinderblock, or the bottom ten, or TWOM ten worst on the market, which could leave a spot for used cars.
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:15 pm
CRUD - Cars Representing Unfortunate Decisions
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:16 pm
Love it, Sajeev!
TOAD: Ten Obvious Automotive Disasters
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:17 pm
A good business decision in my view. The former name’s unintended probable consequence is to severely restrict mainstream media mention. The loss of free publicity greatly outweighs any benefit gained from a one-time juvenile giggle.
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:19 pm
WART is pretty good. But here is the thing, if you are changing an acronym because potential advertisers might be offended, isn’t this effectively censoring your opinion to appease advertisers?
If a car is a POS, then you should be able to say it. Once you start retracting criticism for ad dollars, you are already on the slope to being C&D.
Imagine if instead of writing this:
“But hey, if the Aveo is the thirstiest of all subcompacts, at least it’s the slowest!”
you wrote this:
“The Aveo’s mileage ratings and speed are up there, although we wouldn’t mind seeing a bit better.”
These are worlds apart.
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:19 pm
Noncompetitve Operating Vehicle Award, or NOVA. Has good historical connotations to it.
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:19 pm
I’m liking TRASH at the moment…
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:23 pm
Deciding to not use colorful language isn’t the same as pulling criticism. Apples and oranges.
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:23 pm
CRAP - Catastrophies Revolting to Automotive Pride
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:24 pm
“Worst Automobiles Now Known Award” probably won’t fly either, but it is better than my first idea: “Completely Useless… “, you get the idea…
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Acronym idea: “Most Awful Cars” (MAC). This lets you branch out to Big MAC, MAC Truck, etc.
Or, just forget about the acronyms and go with something classic, like “Edsel” or even “Aztek”. If you start giving out “TTAC Aztek” awards, there will be no ambiguity what that means.
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:27 pm
Ten Autos Made Erroneously
THe Worst Autos Running Today, which borrows from TexasAg03 but makes it THWART. Ooh, how fun to THWART a car manufacturer.
Juvenile, I know, but how about VOMIT: Vehicles Of MedIocriTy? Vehicles Of Massive Institutional Terribleness?
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:27 pm
FART - Fully Atrocious Rides Tallied
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:28 pm
Allthom, I’ll see your “WANK” and raise you a “PRAT” - Positively Repugnant Automotive Ten.
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:30 pm
WAAAT - Worst Automotive Achievements Available Today
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:31 pm
akatsuki:
It’s not like TTAC’s changing their opinion on something they felt strongly about, they’re changing a juvenile acronym into something a little more appropriate. The list will still remain under a slightly more mature title
I like TRASH as well
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:31 pm
Came up with WART too without reading the comments so +1
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:32 pm
I like it Megan.
Best Avoided Recycler/Road/Retail/Rental Fodder ?
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:35 pm
TWAAD - Ten Worst Attempts in Automotive Design
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:36 pm
Using TWAT made this seem like some crude, male-dominated blog for aging pistonheads.
Better to keep that a secret.
Now, TATS - ten autos that suck - would make this seem like a crude, male dominated blog for aging pistonheads with skin illustrations.
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:36 pm
Detroit’s Reward for Approving Garbage?
or
Toyota’s Uninteresting Robots Deserve Salute?
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:36 pm
Ally,
Allong those lines: BARF Best Avoided Road Failures
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:36 pm
The acronyms are fun, but something with the words “worst” and “cars” in it is probably good enough. Simple and to the point.
What you could do that’s a bit different is to honor three “winners” in different categories. Just as the Olympics award a gold, silver and bronze, you could honor the winners…er, losers, with some distinct prizes such as the Pinto (most defective), Pacer (most atrocious) or Vega (most unreliable) distinctions.
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:36 pm
ANAL
Autos not anyone loves
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:41 pm
I like TRASH as well. I think a more mass market friendly name will only help the profile of these awards, and shine more light on the truly bad rides out there (Kind of like the razzies do for movies).
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Ten
Unloved
Rolling
Disappointments
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:45 pm
Alex: Nice, just what I was reaching for.
UGH Unloved by Gear Heads ?
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:46 pm
SCUD - Sickening Cars Unfit to Drive
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:48 pm
CIMARRON - Cars Intended to Make A Ridiculous Revenue On a Name
Okay, it’s a reach…
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:53 pm
Or, we could just borrow from Uncle Sam.
FUBAR
that name exudes the nature of this award.
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:54 pm
STREISAND - Street Transportation Reviled Eternally In Serious Automotive News Dens
Really stretching???
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:09 pm
TWIT: Ttac’s Woefully Inadequate Transportation Award. If you’ll allow an existing Acronym to be reused…
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:14 pm
I was chuckling under my breath at work here so much that I had tears in my eyes.
I like TWIT. I’m 2nd’ing TWIT!
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:18 pm
TRASH is good.
Plenty of public appeal, TTAC-style ‘tude, and way less childish than the old name.
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:19 pm
Megan’s TOAD has to be the most quotable one to me. Could also be Totally Obvious…
We could call them the TOADies, too.
I will try to come up with some more. As much as I will miss the TWAT’s, I can’t fault your decision.
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:25 pm
How about “TTAC’s CARbage Awards”?
Too corny……?
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:28 pm
The Truth About Cars: The Truth Hurts List
The Truth About Cars: The FAIL List
The Truth About Cars: Cars to Avoid
I dunno.. I’m trying not to come up with funny acronyms, ones that are NOT at all ambiguous.. they kinda just tell it like it is.
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:31 pm
BAD: Best Automotive Disasters
WAD: Worst Automotive Disasters
TAD: Ten Automotive Disasters
Eh, it’s a start. There are already some good ones out there…
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:32 pm
TexasAg03’s WART (”Worst Automobiles Running Today”) gets my vote, followed by Megan’s TOAD (”Ten Obvious Automotive Disasters”). With these two gems, why spend the effort to come up with something else?
But I think we need to separate the awards into two categories: (1) truly attrocious vehicles, by any objective measurement (against other vehicles in the same class and price range), and (2) vehicles newly introduced that reflects a misstep by the manufacturer, e.g., new Scion xB.
Both WART and TOAD can be used for cars in my #1, but what about #2?
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:35 pm
If you don’t need an acronym, then I suggest the Annual TTAC Penalty Box Awards.
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:36 pm
Gotta vote for TOAD
TRASH is a close second, though.
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:36 pm
CRUSH:
Cars
Reviled
on
US
Highways
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:36 pm
Cars Lacking Idiot-proof Technology -
CLIpT
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:38 pm
What’s wrong with childish names? Just needs an advertiser who can think outside the box. Know what I mean?
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:41 pm
Obviously
Grotesque
Roadgoing
Experiments
Like the acronym…Can anyone think of better words?
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:41 pm
I’m somewhat with Pch101 - it need not be a catchy acronym. Of the ones so far, TRASH is the best, partly because it avoids using “worst.” Face it, most commenters here have not driven the cars they’ve nominated (it is for this reason I haven’t even bothered reading the TWAT threads this year — one can only read people panning cars they’ve never driven for so long, and I got my fill last year) and are really in no position to claim a car is the worst at anything.
Everybody can nominate “repugnant” though!
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:46 pm
Repulsive, Revolting, Reviled also work. I’m going with TRASH as well.
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:47 pm
I like with TRASH along with Pch101’s Pinto/Pacer/Vega type awards.
Also, Edsel could be for marketing, Aztek for crap that made it out of a car clinic (i.e. Compass), Cimarron for badge engineering.
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:48 pm
There are some winners here. TOAD or TABLE or CRUD or TRASH all have a nice cache and may not raise the hostile eyebrow of the nanny advertisers. Then there’s always DEAD (Doomed Evil Automobile Disasters) or BATTY (Bottom Automotive Ten This Year) or TTAC TEAM (Ten Execrable Automobile Models) or TTAC TTAC (Ten Terrible and Appalling Cars) or TTAC TACH (Ten Annual Car Horrors) — it just never ends….
October 23rd, 2007 at 3:14 pm
TTAC: Darwin Awards
After all, it’s not the car’s fault it’s crap.
Somebody designed it, somebody engineered it, somebody approved it and finally somebody put the damn thing together. They all share the award.
October 23rd, 2007 at 3:15 pm
ANGA = Automobile Non Grata Awards
October 23rd, 2007 at 3:25 pm
How about:
-Stupid Horrible Idiotic Transportation
-The Yugo Awards
October 23rd, 2007 at 3:26 pm
TOFA (Ten Obvious Failures Awards)
October 23rd, 2007 at 3:45 pm
Staying away from acronyms, for one thing–
1) given the reality that even the so-called worst of the ones nominated here are likely to be bought by the thousands, often by completely satisfied customers,
2) given this is the 50th anniversary year,
I’d want something a little less in need of explanation.
How about THE EDSEL PRIZE?
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:17 pm
I nominate: The TTAC Backfire Awards
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:18 pm
I have to fourth (or fifth) the TOAD awards. It has all the imagery you need and far easier to publicize.
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:18 pm
RATS
Recent Autos That Stink
Rotten Autos Today Selection
RATZ
Rotten Autos Truth Zone
Rotten Autos Today Zone
TRUTH and TOAD are good thoughts also.
The change was overdue, thanks.
Bunter
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:25 pm
I still think “The TTAC CARbage Awards” is the best!
Then again, it was my idea! ;O)
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:28 pm
And I thought you were going to have the female basketball team, the Harlem Globetwatters being your spokespersons to promote the award.
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:44 pm
WRECK – Worst Regarded Examples of Car Katastrophes
LEMMON – Lame Examples of Metal MONstrosities
LAME – Loser Automobile Mediocrity Exemplar
STALL – Survey of Ten Automotive Lame Losers
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:44 pm
How about “Minger”? Okay, so it’s regional slang, but I like the way it conjures an image of instant disgust. I guess that’s juvenile too, ‘eh?
“TTAC’s 2007 Mingers”
“TTAC’s top ten list of Mingers for 2007″
No?
Okay, how about a simple object or name that we could award or associate to the winners, something like an Oscar, only the opposite. Say, a “tailpipe” (waste fumes), or a “Lucas” (homage to miserable and unreliable electrics) or a “Yugo” as someone already mentioned, or a “Vista” (overcomplicated, unreliable and ultimately botched OS)…
“TTAC’s Lucas awards”
“This year’s Vista awards”, hmm, reel unsuspecting punters in with a positive sounding awards and shock ‘em with the disappointment that is the TWAT awards! hahaha!
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:44 pm
Does it have to be an acronym? Something like The Edsel Award might do it.
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:47 pm
Hey, other crappy things could be used: The Pinto Award or the Lucas Darkness Cup.
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:48 pm
@KatiePuckrik: “CARbage” is already (or was) used on TopGear’s website, IIRC.
It does sound good though, maybe in “TTAC’s 2007 Carbage Patch Kids” or something…
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:51 pm
@Cellman
That’s probably where I got it from!
Damn, I really thought I had a good idea for once! ;O)
October 23rd, 2007 at 5:02 pm
TRAP 2007
Ten Revolting Automobiles for Purchase-2007
“The top TRAP for 2007 is…”
After all, the poor shmucks who buy these things don’t know what they’re getting into, and before you know it… TRAPped!
October 23rd, 2007 at 5:05 pm
How about “Cars uglier than a Female Russian shotputter”? Or is that too racist?
;O)
October 23rd, 2007 at 5:11 pm
Future Automotive Garbage
October 23rd, 2007 at 5:30 pm
Decidedly
Odious
Garbage
October 23rd, 2007 at 5:30 pm
I vote for akitadog’s TRAP award. Any decent marketing type can run with that.
October 23rd, 2007 at 5:33 pm
For those who say no acronyms..
How about calling these the Bricklin awards?
October 23rd, 2007 at 5:49 pm
Auto
Industry,
Listen:
It’s
No
Good!
October 23rd, 2007 at 5:51 pm
The “NonStarter” Car Awards
October 23rd, 2007 at 5:52 pm
Make it the TTAC TTAC…
Ten totally assanine cars…
October 23rd, 2007 at 6:29 pm
Let’s call them, ‘The Untouchables’ cars you wouldn’t approach, even with a 10-foot pole.
October 23rd, 2007 at 6:33 pm
The TOAD award(s) does it for me.
What a beautiful golden trophy we could design fot that one! As opposed to say… a golden TWAT trophy…
I see sponsors lining up behind the golden toad even as I type….
October 23rd, 2007 at 7:14 pm
FTW… Tell your ad guy that if he doesn’t like TWAT that your new awards will be called:
Cars
U should
Not
Take
October 23rd, 2007 at 8:05 pm
I’ve gotta say thanks to changing the name; TWAT was causing the internet filter overloard at work to block TTAC from me…god i hate the overloards.
What about the Farago Awards?
or the Pinto Prize?
Cars worse than the iDrive?
Seriously Terrible Drivers (STDs) or Vehicular Disastors (VD)
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:29 pm
UPUP
Under-Performing Unsatisfying Poor cars. UPUP’s, as the only place to go from where they are is up.
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:39 pm
The MADIs
MAssive Depreciation Imminent
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:42 pm
I might add that you know how the Academy Award winners get an ‘Oscar’? Whatever the new name for TWAT, you should give the winners a ‘Sebring’.
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:12 pm
I like Edsel Award. Very descriptive, and classic. I think it would also work the best with the mainstream media.
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:13 pm
Sorry, but we decided to go dull: Ten Worst.
I know it sucks in comparison to, um, ANY of your clever acronyms, but I need to get maximum media exposure out of this bad boy, and plain has no pain for editors who use Rogain. Or something like that.
Thanks for all your cleverosity. Rest assured the name may be white toast, but the TTAC vindaloo remains.
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:20 pm
Geez… you’ve Toyota-ed the TWATs…
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:22 pm
Ouch. True.
Let's just hope TTAC's "sales growth" matches ToMoCo's. I mean, there's only one thing worse than selling out: selling out and not doing any better than if you hadn't.
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:29 pm
Go dull if you wanna, but I’m sticking with Junkass Boogaloo
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:46 pm
# beetlebug:
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:47 pm
the Lucas Darkness Cup.
You owe me a keyboard.
I spit my coffee on it thinking about an old MG I had.
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:53 pm
Damn, TTAC just lost some of its edge. How much money do you need and where is the donation page?
October 23rd, 2007 at 11:07 pm
I appreciate the gesture. Someone in my position might recommend that you visit some of our sponsors, but I couldn't possibly comment.
As for losing our edge, my kingdom for some full-time reporters! Oh wait; that wouldn't work.
Anyway, as long as I'm behind the wheel (and hopefully after that), TTAC remains completely committed to creating no-holds-barred automotive reviews, editorials and news. We will also provide an open forum for no-holds-barred commentary (save flaming and trolling) for the autoblogosphere's best and brightest. Period.
October 23rd, 2007 at 11:32 pm
What was wrong with TRASH? Too derogatory?
October 23rd, 2007 at 11:38 pm
I second (or however many we’re up to) Mr. Montgomery’s idea:
The TTAC Backfire Awards
Clear intentions, without losing that touch of class. Acronyms will likely only get read as the word it spells out, unless you bother to break it down each time you use it - i.e. many people read the word TWAT and don’t know what it stands for in this context.
October 23rd, 2007 at 11:47 pm
What was wrong with TRASH? Too derogatory?
Here’s a dull answer for you -
In my opinion, here’s the problem: As does every other website on the planet, TTAC needs to create buzz. That means that TTAC will be issuing press releases announcing its Worst Of list.
Now, the issue at hand: Although TTAC will craft a press release and headline, chances are good that any other source that picks up the press release will craft its own headline. Headlines are supposed to be attention getters that are short, sweet and to the point.
TTAC needs to make it easy for the publication to come up with something on the fly that will get its readers’ attentions and hopefully pull in some hits to the TTAC website. You don’t want the editor to work for it or make it easy for a misleading headline to be used, instead.
Whether you call it a TWAT, TOAD, GOAT, GERMAN SHEPHERD (don’t even ask me what that stands for) or a WHATEVER, it’s not going to be really obvious what TTAC is or what it just did to whoever else sees it. Sure, TTAC regulars will get it, but nobody else will.
It would be best if the headline reads something like “Truth About Cars Names Trabant Worst Car of 2007″ or “Trabant Tops List of Worst 2007 Cars”, rather than “Trabant Gets a TOAD.”
But I’m still in favor of the sub-awards, such as the Vega and Pinto. I particularly like the Edsel suggestion (wish I had thought of that one myself!)
October 23rd, 2007 at 11:54 pm
I like the “Backfire Awards” but I guess its too late.
October 24th, 2007 at 12:35 am
Good move, RF. Can’t say I’ve ever been a fan of TWAT. The wife HATED it. I kind of liked TOAD, though I don’t know what it would stand for that makes much sense.
You should still have some acronym, TWC, TWA, TWV, depending on whether we’re talking cars, autos, or vehicles. The first is probably best, since TWC sounds the best of the three and the various best lists out there tend to be “best cars.”
October 24th, 2007 at 12:55 am
I feel obligated to point out that the TWAT reference in my GMC Envoy review should be adjusted.
I will THIRD the sub-awards. We need one named after Chris Bangle.
RF: Is this your version of the Porsche 911 now?
October 24th, 2007 at 1:13 am
CUNT - Completely, utterly nasty transportation.
October 24th, 2007 at 2:20 am
Although none of the suggestions flew, I have to say this is a damn witty bunch of pistonheads. Congrats all. I LOL’d.
October 24th, 2007 at 6:37 am
We need one named after Chris Bangle
The Bangle Bungle?
October 24th, 2007 at 6:58 am
TOAST
Ten
Odious/Obnoxious
Autos
Sold
Today
Ten
Original
Automotive
Sinners
Today
Bunter
October 24th, 2007 at 7:01 am
Well, until you hit the “big time” keep this acronym in yer pocket: “Ten Worst In Transportation”
The guys at Top Gear might be sniffing at that one, though…
October 24th, 2007 at 7:34 am
Bangle?
Bangle’s
Ugly
Teutonic
Transportation
Disclaimer: I actually like the Bangle BMWs.
October 24th, 2007 at 9:04 am
Would it be too antagonizing to actually send the companies a trophy made up for the awards? Like with a toilet or something on them? Or maybe a big glittery “10″ so some unknowing intern might display it in the lobby for a while. Idunno, it just might make for some good photos, all the crummy trophys stacked atop the winning cars or whatever.
I can see Chrysler’s HQ people now, getting all cheesed off when a shiny trophy comes in announcing the Sebring the worst car of the year (along with an Edsel award for good measure). Probably wouldn’t yield too many future insider interviews like that recent one with Ford, however…
October 24th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
TOWED
Ten
Obviously
Worst
Existing
Designs
October 24th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
I vote that you rethink the decision. Nothing proposed here sums it all up better than TWAT. But maybe I’m just emotionally involved after a couple of years of living with TWAT.
October 24th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
“The Cars from from J.U.N.K.L.E.”
“Not So Hot Wheels”
“Breakdowns Dead Ahead”
“The Lemon Aid Awards”
“The Ugly Garish Half-Baked Awareds (also known as UGH))
“The Pinto Awards”
October 25th, 2007 at 7:23 am
Vocalization of
Automobiles
Gaining
In
Negative
Assumptions