Sometimes a car is just a car: a large assemblage of metal, glass and plastic designed to provide mobility. But as the recent bailout hearings proved conclusively, sometimes a car can be so much more. A car can be a symbol of hope. A sign of change. Or a red herring. When GM CEO Rick Wagoner rolled up on the Capitol in his Cruze-bodied Volt mule, he expected it to erase the negativity that was spawned by Jet-gate only a few weeks earlier. And yet, somehow the symbolic power of the Volt arrival failed to inspire enough faith in GM’s future to secure a quick $34b. Perhaps Wagoner should have done more to amplify the message that a wholly unrecognizeable car (to congress and most Americans) was supposed to send. May we suggest that silver bullet of automotive communication, the bumper sticker? After all, nothing highlights the relationship between a one’s deeply-held values and their car’s brand image like a well placed bumper sticker. And so the question comes to you, oh Best and Brightest, if Wagoner could have slapped a single bumper sticker on his beltway beggarmobile, what should it have been? Answers can be existing bumper stickers or unique creations of your own twisted imagination. The winner will get $100 worth of Car Tattoos (your design or theirs) from Cartatts.com.
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I’M RICK WAGONER, BITCH!
GM: Cruzing for YES Volts from Congress.
(Yeah, I know I’m not eligible, but I couldn’t resist.)
“MY OTHER RIDE IS
YOURMY GULFSTREAM V”Just thought of another one….
“SUBSIDIZE MY HOT AIR TO END GLOBAL WARMING”
“My other car is a Lexus LS 430.”
“My friends went to Congress, and all I got was this lousy bumper sticker.”
Dammit Carnot!! I was going to say something like that!
“My other ride is rated in gpm!”
lol
I brake for the American Middle Class.
” Quit honking – I’m begging as fast as I can.”
Honk! If you’ve been bailed out.
or
Honk! If you need bailing out.
” My village called – they want their idiot back”
(I’ll take Franks if that’s the winner and he’s ineligible)
save me (and GM) from myself
“Don’t blame me, I voted for Mondale”
(Yeah it’s as dated as GM’s products)
Vaporware Inside
“My other car is a LearJet”
“I brake for hallucenigens”
“Will settle for an Ambassadorship”
Ass, Grass, or Duracells – No One Rides for Free.
My other ride is a golden parachute.
Warning: Contents about to expire.
” Re-Volt America!”
Destroying shareholder value since 1992!
“Obama’s my Moma”
JUST SAY NOw!!!
” Driver Carries No Cash and Cannot Access Safe”
“I Love Gay Porn”
not me….the bumpersticker
“Bailout Baby On Board”
Calvin pissing on a Toyota logo
What, me worry?
Or
Not rice ready, or road ready.
Or
This car be funny looking like Prius, but made in USA, please do not vandalize.
Or
Ha! And you thought what I came in last time was expensive and unobtainable.
On a Detroit 3 car:
Your Tax Dollars At Work
On my car:
Chose A Honda, Paid For GM Anyway
Baby On Board
Global Warming is a Crock of Shit!
DON’T BLAME ME; I DIDN’T DESIGN ‘EM!
BAILOUTS HAPPEN.
BUY AMERICAN! (IF YOU CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT IS AMERICAN)
IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU ARE BETTER AT RUNNING AN AUTO COMPANY THAN I AM.
Or howabout a darwin fish eating a Chrysler logo
“Bailout or Bust!”
…failing that:
“Chapter 11 or Bust!”
Global Warming is a Crock of Shit!
+1. That one gets my vote.
WILL ROGERS NEVER MET RICK WAGONER.
If You Can Read This You’re Close Enough to Toss Me a Check
Global Warming is a Crock of Shit!
+1. That one gets my vote.
I actually want that one for MY truck.
Please give us a bailout! If I lose my $14 million pay check I will be stuck driving this crap Cruze/Volt forever and I CAN’T STAND IT ALREADY.
Picture this:
The omnipresent fish decal with the word “Volt” in it.
“I brake for pork”
“My other car is a Malivolt”
Or with a pic of Ben Kenobi – “These aren’t the CEOs you are looking for”
“My other car is a POS too”
jpcavanaugh :
“Baby On Board”
Brilliant simplicity.
I LOVE CONGRESS. THEIR PAY ISN’T BASED ON JOB PERFORMANCE EITHER.
Got another: The body of Yosemite Sam (holding his six guns) with the face of Ron Gettlefinger saying “BACK OFF!”
Got a million of em.
Joint the ride for free tax dollars.
What a reVOLTing development.
“My Child is Honer Student at Detroit Elementary School, and he could have have run this company way Freakin Better than i did…”
In case of Bankruptcy, this car will be unmanned.
Bye American Cars
Don’t Laugh, This Is YOUR Car
Chargin’ to Washington or Chagrin to Washington?
On the Volt specifically, “Got Juice?”
If there is a contest for bumper stickers that would NOT be on Wagoner’s car:
“Don’t Laugh, its Paid For.”
With my current $16M annual compensation – I made roughly $2,991.45 for this 14 hour road trip!
Don’t come knock’n if the Volt it rock’n.
or
DC or Bust. Bailout money or Bust.
or
If I’m not running GM I might end up running YOUR company, pay up.
or
SHOW ME THE MONEY!
“When I grow up I want to be a taxpayer tit sucker”
Or
“Hit Me…I Need the Money”
This is your new Volga comrad, nationalize me baby.
“MY OTHER RIDE IS A GOLDEN PARACHUTE”