By Edward Niedermeyer
December 17, 2008
Sometimes a car is just a car: a large assemblage of metal, glass and plastic designed to provide mobility. But as the recent bailout hearings proved conclusively, sometimes a car can be so much more. A car can be a symbol of hope. A sign of change. Or a red herring. When GM CEO Rick Wagoner rolled up on the Capitol in his Cruze-bodied Volt mule, he expected it to erase the negativity that was spawned by Jet-gate only a few weeks earlier. And yet, somehow the symbolic power of the Volt arrival failed to inspire enough faith in GM’s future to secure a quick $34b. Perhaps Wagoner should have done more to amplify the message that a wholly unrecognizeable car (to congress and most Americans) was supposed to send. May we suggest that silver bullet of automotive communication, the bumper sticker? After all, nothing highlights the relationship between a one’s deeply-held values and their car’s brand image like a well placed bumper sticker. And so the question comes to you, oh Best and Brightest, if Wagoner could have slapped a single bumper sticker on his beltway beggarmobile, what should it have been? Answers can be existing bumper stickers or unique creations of your own twisted imagination. The winner will get $100 worth of Car Tattoos (your design or theirs) from Cartatts.com.
Subscribe to New Content Alerts
Back to Top
End of Comments
POWERED
December 17th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
I’M RICK WAGONER, BITCH!
December 17th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
GM: Cruzing for YES Volts from Congress.
(Yeah, I know I’m not eligible, but I couldn’t resist.)
December 17th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
“MY OTHER RIDE IS
YOURMY GULFSTREAM V”Just thought of another one….
“SUBSIDIZE MY HOT AIR TO END GLOBAL WARMING”
December 17th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
“My other car is a Lexus LS 430.”
“My friends went to Congress, and all I got was this lousy bumper sticker.”
December 17th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Dammit Carnot!! I was going to say something like that!
“My other ride is rated in gpm!”
lol
December 17th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
I brake for the American Middle Class.
December 17th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
” Quit honking – I’m begging as fast as I can.”
December 17th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Honk! If you’ve been bailed out.
or
Honk! If you need bailing out.
December 17th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
” My village called – they want their idiot back”
December 17th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
(I’ll take Franks if that’s the winner and he’s ineligible)
save me (and GM) from myself
December 17th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
“Don’t blame me, I voted for Mondale”
(Yeah it’s as dated as GM’s products)
December 17th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Vaporware Inside
December 17th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
“My other car is a LearJet”
December 17th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
“I brake for hallucenigens”
December 17th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
“Will settle for an Ambassadorship”
December 17th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Ass, Grass, or Duracells – No One Rides for Free.
December 17th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
My other ride is a golden parachute.
Warning: Contents about to expire.
December 17th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
” Re-Volt America!”
December 17th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Destroying shareholder value since 1992!
December 17th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
“Obama’s my Moma”
December 17th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
JUST SAY NOw!!!
December 17th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
” Driver Carries No Cash and Cannot Access Safe”
December 17th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
“I Love Gay Porn”
not me….the bumpersticker
“Bailout Baby On Board”
Calvin pissing on a Toyota logo
December 17th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
What, me worry?
Or
Not rice ready, or road ready.
Or
This car be funny looking like Prius, but made in USA, please do not vandalize.
Or
Ha! And you thought what I came in last time was expensive and unobtainable.
December 17th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
On a Detroit 3 car:
Your Tax Dollars At Work
On my car:
Chose A Honda, Paid For GM Anyway
December 17th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Baby On Board
December 17th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Global Warming is a Crock of Shit!
December 17th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
DON’T BLAME ME; I DIDN’T DESIGN ‘EM!
BAILOUTS HAPPEN.
BUY AMERICAN! (IF YOU CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT IS AMERICAN)
IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU ARE BETTER AT RUNNING AN AUTO COMPANY THAN I AM.
December 17th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Or howabout a darwin fish eating a Chrysler logo
December 17th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
“Bailout or Bust!”
…failing that:
“Chapter 11 or Bust!”
December 17th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
Global Warming is a Crock of Shit!
+1. That one gets my vote.
December 17th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
WILL ROGERS NEVER MET RICK WAGONER.
December 17th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
If You Can Read This You’re Close Enough to Toss Me a Check
December 17th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Global Warming is a Crock of Shit!
+1. That one gets my vote.
I actually want that one for MY truck.
December 17th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Please give us a bailout! If I lose my $14 million pay check I will be stuck driving this crap Cruze/Volt forever and I CAN’T STAND IT ALREADY.
December 17th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Picture this:
The omnipresent fish decal with the word “Volt” in it.
“I brake for pork”
“My other car is a Malivolt”
Or with a pic of Ben Kenobi – “These aren’t the CEOs you are looking for”
“My other car is a POS too”
December 17th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
jpcavanaugh :
“Baby On Board”
Brilliant simplicity.
December 17th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
I LOVE CONGRESS. THEIR PAY ISN’T BASED ON JOB PERFORMANCE EITHER.
December 17th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Got another: The body of Yosemite Sam (holding his six guns) with the face of Ron Gettlefinger saying “BACK OFF!”
Got a million of em.
December 17th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Joint the ride for free tax dollars.
December 17th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
What a reVOLTing development.
December 17th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
“My Child is Honer Student at Detroit Elementary School, and he could have have run this company way Freakin Better than i did…”
December 17th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
In case of Bankruptcy, this car will be unmanned.
December 17th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Bye American Cars
Don’t Laugh, This Is YOUR Car
Chargin’ to Washington or Chagrin to Washington?
On the Volt specifically, “Got Juice?”
December 17th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
If there is a contest for bumper stickers that would NOT be on Wagoner’s car:
“Don’t Laugh, its Paid For.”
December 17th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
With my current $16M annual compensation – I made roughly $2,991.45 for this 14 hour road trip!
December 17th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Don’t come knock’n if the Volt it rock’n.
or
DC or Bust. Bailout money or Bust.
or
If I’m not running GM I might end up running YOUR company, pay up.
or
SHOW ME THE MONEY!
December 17th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
“When I grow up I want to be a taxpayer tit sucker”
Or
“Hit Me…I Need the Money”
December 17th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
This is your new Volga comrad, nationalize me baby.
December 17th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
“MY OTHER RIDE IS A GOLDEN PARACHUTE”
December 17th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
“My other car is a… wait, what is it this week?”
or
“I know you’re honking out of love”
or
“CEO for life”
or
“It is what it is”
or
“I (heart) Congress”
December 17th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Jesus loves Rick wagoner, everyone else thinks he’s an asshole.
GM: An American Devolution.
GM= Gross Mismanagement.
The Titanic was too big to fail too.
Would the last person leaving Detroit please turn out the lights.
I asked Congress for a bailout and all I got was this lousy bumpersticker.
December 17th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Stein X Leikanger gets my vote.
Bad CEO, No Doughnut
I’d Rather Be Flying
America’s Raison d’être
and…
Bowling for Bailouts
December 17th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Never spend faster then your CEO can beg.
And do all those examples on Cartatts look like Carl’s 2 Wicked? Just me?
December 17th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
“What the hell is a Pipefitter?”
December 17th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
“UAW – You too can be a janitor that makes $40 an hour”
December 17th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!
December 17th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
“Rick Wagoner: Proof that Harvard MBAs are idiots”
December 17th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
“Buy American! If we don’t then who will?”
“Cars by GM. Good, Fast and Cheap (*pick two)”
December 17th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Carpe Barney
Seize the Blank Check!
December 17th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Li-ion Board
December 17th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
…while driving an Aztec to DC
Don’t laugh … your daughter is in the back
December 17th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
“Unlimited Almightyness”
December 17th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
“Would you buy a car from this man? (If you’re an American taxpayer, you’re about to anyway!)”
December 17th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
(While driving a 4×4 to DC)
Keep Laughing …I’m Reloading (my Gulfstream!)
December 17th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
GM-If we go bankrupt what will you rent?
or
If you won’t give me money, can I at least plug my car in?
or
If we go under, what will your voters not drive then?
December 17th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Rick Wa-GONER
December 17th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
My vote:
truthbetold37 :
“UAW – You too can be a janitor that makes $40 an hour”
December 17th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
I’d rather you drive an SUV
or
Look, I said I am SORRY! *picture of Vega or what have you*
December 17th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
I see this Union bumper sticker around Detroit:
Out of a job yet? / Keep buying foreign
I always thought it was an awkward slogan. No, I am still employed; yes, I will buy foreign. Maybe something got lost in translation from Chineese…
Rick’s bumper sticker should have been:
Out of a domestic manufacturing base yet? / Keep bailout
GM ran out of cash to finish the second line.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
“Work is for people who don’t know how become CEO’s”
“I <3 Your Money!!”
December 17th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
I think he’d need something more like the national debt clock with the number ticking up and the slogan …
“Give me $xxxxx, or all the workers get fired”.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
I can bankrupt your country just like my company.
Ask me how!
December 17th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
Don’t steal–I hate competition.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
Lutz loaner, I might need a jump or a tow.
or
You too can have one of these fine automobiles for $40,000 plus your taxes and children’s taxes.
or
Good God this is what our compacts drive like.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
01.20.09
December 17th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
PAY YOUR TAXES
3 million jobs depend on it!
December 17th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Ahh, I thought of another one…
ONE OF YOUR $BILLIONS$ A DAY KEEPS MY CREDITORS AT BAY!
December 17th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Instead of Lee’s “buy a car, get a check”
It’s Rick’s “build a car, get a check”
December 17th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
“U.A.W. = U Ain’t Workin’”
December 17th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
“Ford = Fund or realize destruction”
December 17th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
A graphic of the Democratic congressional leadership: Don’t Laugh. They’re Paid For.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
How’s My Driving?
Call 1-800-BAILOUT
December 17th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
got bailout?
December 17th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
What would Barack do?
December 17th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
“Chrysler = 1 million transmission mechanics can’t be wrong!”
December 17th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
Usta Bee :
The Titanic was too big to fail too.
spot on UB.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Everyone says I’m in denial.
But REALLY, I’m not!
December 17th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
“Ford: Creating Thermal Incidents for over 100 years!”
December 17th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
Reality is nice,
but I wouldn’t want to live there.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
I’m Rick Wagoner, and you’re not.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
I made $100 million running GM into the ground, what have you accomplished?
or
How’s my driving, Please call 1-888-BAIL-YES
or
I need directions the navigation system shorted out and I think my batteries are on fire.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
“Dear Lee, I found a better car and I bought it.”
December 17th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Who says nothing is impossible?
I’ve done nothing my whole life.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
Visualize Whirled Pieces
or
Visualize Real Sales
December 17th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Have Lutz, will travel
December 17th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
“What do Ford and the Detroit Lions have in common? They are both owned by idiots.”
December 17th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
Another one:
W W J Drive?
or
WTF W J D?
December 17th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
I’m Spending Your Children’s Inheritance.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Put this on a Cobalt
“Audi like Interior”
Well that was Lutz’s target!
December 17th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
“My company employs millions of your constituents”
December 17th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
My Corporation is Smarter than Your Honors Student.
Daddy Needs a New Pair of Shoes.
GM: Imagination at Work.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
“Ugly AND stupid is no way to go through life.”
December 17th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
I do have a son in college I have to pay for somehow.
I owe, I owe.. so it’s off to congress I go.
Change is inevitable, except from GM
December 17th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
NOBODY RIDES FOR FREE!!!!
2nd attempt. :OD!
December 17th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
“GM=Amtrak..begging for a handout”
“no one sweats the recalls like GM”