The Truth About Cars » trans am The Truth About Cars is dedicated to providing candid, unbiased automobile reviews and the latest in auto industry news. Thu, 17 Jul 2014 20:36:40 +0000 en-US hourly 1 The Truth About Cars is dedicated to providing candid, unbiased automobile reviews and the latest in auto industry news. The Truth About Cars no The Truth About Cars (The Truth About Cars) 2006-2009 The Truth About Cars The Truth About Cars is dedicated to providing candid, unbiased automobile reviews and the latest in auto industry news. The Truth About Cars » trans am Ke$ha’s Gold Trans Am is a Metaphor For Her t—What? Sun, 03 Mar 2013 13:20:32 +0000

Editor’s note: This article contains a discussion of organs. Not those in churches, more the ones found between legs. If this offends you, please don’t exercise your right to click-through. If you click through, please don’t complain that you found a story about private parts instead of car parts. If you do express outrage, we will understand that this was for the benefit of the moral police at your workplace or home. 

I’m approaching an age when one is more likely to be thinking about hip replacements than about hip hop or being hip, so I’m not really sure who Ke$ha is. I presume she’s a musician or singer or rapper of some kind because she apparently writes songs, one of them about her gold Trans Am and at The Truth About Cars we can dig songs about cars. Well, she says it’s about her Gold Trans Am, but in reality, it is about her ladyparts.

If you don’t believe me, click on that YouTube link while at work and later you can tell us all about your meeting with HR – it is definitely rated Not Safe For Work. (On second thought, our technical team assures us that it can be viewed with “Safe” settings on at YouTube.  YoiuTube must be going down the YouTubes.) Considering that one of the most common automotive cliches one will see or hear is that men drive big cars or sports cars or SUVs or whatever to “compensate” for some kind of anatomical or sexual “shortcoming”, I find Ke$ha’s recent comments to Q magazine rather humorous.

[Gold Trans Am] began as a song about my car, which is a gold Trans Am, and it works about 40 per cent of the time. I don’t have another car because I love that one so much. But then like all great pop it became a metaphor for something else – my pu**y. But my vagina is in tip top working order. Valeted and souped-up and working 100 per cent of the time …

I was in seventh grade once too, so the jokes practically write themselves. Is her “Trans Am” the High Output version? Has it been bored and stroked? What’s the displacement? Does it come with a blower? Is there a factory approved lubricant or is it lubed for life? I’m sure the Best and Brightest can come up with your own. Tire tracks all across her back indeed.

Now I’m not saying that no man has ever written a song ostensibly about a car but actually with salacious intent (or non-automotive songs with salacious intent). I’m pretty sure that Ike Turner offered a backup singer or two a ride on his Rocket 88, and that’s considered to be the first rock ‘n roll song ever. I’m also pretty sure that if the lead vocalist of some cock-rockish band today said that “this song is about my d*ck”, most folks would just laugh at him, just like Zappa did 40 years ago when mocking B’wana Dik’s “Harley”.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Discuss among yourselves. I’m going to go watch some Archer reruns.

Ronnie Schreiber edits Cars In Depth, a realistic perspective on cars & car culture and the original 3D car site. If you found this post worthwhile, you can dig deeper at Cars In Depth. If the 3D thing freaks you out, don’t worry, all the photo and video players in use at the site have mono options. Thanks for reading – RJS

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Somebody Wants You To Help Buy A Trans Am For Joe Biden Fri, 12 Oct 2012 20:05:17 +0000

Vice President Joe Biden’s net worth has been estimated to be as low as a quarter-million dollars — chump change by the standards of Mr. Obama and Mr. Romney — but surely that’s enough money in the bank to pick up a decent Trans Am, right?

According to these guys, no. They want you to buy a Poncho for the Veep, and so far they’re raised about $800 of the $25,000 they think it will take. Why? Well, here’s their case:

Joe Biden has calmly and quietly been an incredible Vice President. He was one of the first politicians to publicly embrace gay marriage and may have been personally responsible for President Obama coming out in favor of gay marriage and the subsequent change in the Democratic Party’s platform. He is also a stunningly intelligent politician who understands the nuance of foreign and domestic policy.

A Vice President that incredible needs an incredible car, clearly. Although the second-gen Trans Am has entered the modern lexicon as shorthand for “ridiculous Seventies disco stupidity”, for a few of the years during its over-long stay at dealerships it was the fastest American-made car money could buy in the quarter-mile. The Super Duty 455 could hit a 13.5-second quarter-mile in an era when the Countach ran a 14.6. Variants with the “400″ Pontiac V-8 are revered, the Olds “403″-equipped cars are considered second-rate, and the Turbo Trans Am was more successful as an idea than as an actual automobile.

What better way to make a political contribution this election season than to buy a Trans Am for a guy who earns $230K a year? Of course, Republicans are free to buy a Trans Am for Mr. Ryan as well, but speaking as someone who went to school with the guy, he probably doesn’t need the money.

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