We need to talk. You’re a good state. Really, you are. I love your beaches. There’s the delightful lilt of latin accents everywhere. Daytona is the place where motorsports royalty is crowned in America. Sebring is the place of legends. And who doesn’t love Disney World?
But we need to talk about your car situation. It’s just flat-out embarrassing. All of your friends are talking about it. I think it’s time we had a an open, honest conversation, and maybe we can solve this problem together.
I’ve been visiting junkyards and sharing what I find here on TTAC for several years now, and one of the best things about doing the Junkyard Find series has been reading the crypto-novellas (each a little story about the junkyard car I’ve photographed) penned by our own Crabspirits in the comments. We’ve already talked to Mr. Crabspirits about doing some writing for us under his own byline, and he says he’s up for it, but there’s no need to wait in order to enjoy his stuff. I’ve gone through some recent Crabspirits Junkyard Find Tirades™ and assembled them here for your reading pleasure. (Read More…)
There is no better way to ruin a car than by putting a spoiler on it. Don’t believe me? Picture any mainstream road car with and without a wing. Which one looks better? I think the answer looks obvious.
Traffic? Politics? People who invoke the name Jesus 67 times in a two minute conversation? Those are universal ‘triggers’. But what about cars? I used to have this unyielding urge to yank off every motorized belt I saw. Even to this day I have nothing but wrath for car with this pseudo-safety feature.
Then there are the ‘shift now’ lights. If I wanted corporate and government nannys to invoke their ‘pearls of wisdom’, I wouldn’t black tape their suggestions. What else? Catalytics that don’t last. New car smells that do. The list is long and the day is young. So let us know what intrusions should be slaughtered and catapulted into the foolish knight.
Writer’s note: This can be car features, cars, dealers (even used car dealers), highways, toll roads, car magazines, roadkill, service centers that lube your wealth, the local DMV. Heck, even the odd activities of your fellow commuters. Anything you want really. After all, we consider this place to be an autonomous collective these days.