The Truth About Cars » North Dallas Hooptie The Truth About Cars is dedicated to providing candid, unbiased automobile reviews and the latest in auto industry news. Fri, 18 Jul 2014 16:16:01 +0000 en-US hourly 1 The Truth About Cars is dedicated to providing candid, unbiased automobile reviews and the latest in auto industry news. The Truth About Cars no The Truth About Cars (The Truth About Cars) 2006-2009 The Truth About Cars The Truth About Cars is dedicated to providing candid, unbiased automobile reviews and the latest in auto industry news. The Truth About Cars » North Dallas Hooptie And the Real Winner Is… Mon, 25 Apr 2011 07:50:48 +0000
The Index of Effluency, 24 Hours of LeMons racing’s top prize, goes to the team that achieves beyond all expectations in an unspeakably terrible car. That means, most of the time, something like an MGB-GT or Chevy S10. A 1987 Mazda RX-7, a pretty quick and reliable car in most cases, wouldn’t qualify for IOE status… under normal circumstances. In the case of the lunatic Texans of Team Sensory Assault, however, we’ve got a silk purse that’s been turned into a sow’s ear, then shot full of holes, fed through a shredder, and boiled in chlorine triflouride.

After about 10 LeMons races, Sensory Assault had managed to achieve Ununhexium Legend of LeMons status, mostly due to to antics such as their unsafe-n-insane LeMons Line-Lock and their exhaust-heat-operated rib-cooker. That didn’t mean that they did so well in the standings at any of their races, with black flags and busted RX-7 parts keeping them down in the celler of the standings, race after race. Adding a junkyard turbocharger to the car served to make the car even worse, a feat we didn’t believe possible. Their best performance, prior to the North Dallas Hooptie, was something like 39th place. This weekend, however, Sensory Assault managed to get their horrid pink hooptie into ninth place. Will they ever manage to do such a thing again? Probably not. For now, though, IOE glory is theirs. Congratulations, Sensory Assault!

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And the Winner Is… Mon, 25 Apr 2011 07:31:29 +0000
The North Dallas Hooptie 24 Hours of LeMons is over, tornadoes, lightning, and all, and a most improbable team has taken the win on laps.

We’d been seeing the Miagra Miata for many races and had written the team off as a bunch of hapless black-flag magnets with a car that somehow managed to get British Leyland-grade reliability from a Hiroshima product. They never gave up, however, and their skills improved in parallel with the bugs getting worked out of their car. Over the weekend, it all came together for Team Miagra, and they took the overall win by a two-lap margin. Congratulations, Team Miagra!

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In Spite of Texas Tornadoes, Miagra Miata Holds Lead In North Dallas Hooptie Sun, 24 Apr 2011 03:32:09 +0000
You get some crazy weather when your traveling race series holds events in April; last weekend, we had to throw the checkered flag early on Saturday’s race session because blowing Michigan snow knocked visibility down to zero. Today, we had to end the session an hour early because a wild lightning storm swooped in and threatened to zap the corner workers. Minutes later, the tornado alert sirens started blowing. The members of the Miagra Miata team, no doubt donning their helmets and cowering in the nearest bunker, could console themselves with the knowledge that their team will start tomorrow’s race session as the race leader. Well, that’s if a funnel cloud doesn’t deposit their Mazda in the next county.

Meanwhile, the members of the Blue Goose Golf team, who spent much of the day battling for (and occasionally grabbing) the lead with Los Miagras, are probably gritting their teeth and grumbling about weak-kneed race organizers who let a little weather put a halt to their chase of that damn Mazda. We’ve been seeing the Miagra guys at the Houston races for quite a while, and they’ve always been utterly terrible underdogs, breaking the car and racking up tremendous quantities of black flags. For this race, all of the team’s drivers prepared by taking every possible race-instruction class and (we assume) undergoing painful aversion-therapy treatments that applied electric shocks to sensitive body parts whenever a black flag appeared in the field of vision. This team has been very fast and utterly penalty-free so far, which I never would have predicted for these former repeat miscreants. Can the Blue Geese catch the blue-pill-adorned Miata tomorrow? Will one of the E30s nipping at their heels pass them both? We’ll find out tomorrow… if the track is still there.

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Huggy Bear, SHOs Galore, and a TR6: BS Inspections at the North Dallas Hooptie 24 Hours of LeMons Sat, 23 Apr 2011 03:33:24 +0000
I’m on my third LeMons race in as many weekends— New Jersey to Michigan to Texas— and the regional differences that make one region of the country stand out from another have become quite clear: East Coast racers like BMW E30s and VW Golfs and Midwestern racers are partial to Neons and Camaros. The Texans? They like Ford Taurus SHOs.

Because the North Dallas Hooptie, held at Eagles Canyon Raceway in Decatur, Texas, takes place on Easter weekend, many of the teams ducked out at the last moment due to holiday/family pressure. The serious teams— maybe 40 of them— aren’t worried about the stuff the squares will be doing this weekend. They’re racing!

Not to say that the holiday is being completely ignored.

SHOs are great (except for the whole thrown-rod and nuked-transmission thing), but this much-butchered Triumph made us the happiest.

Thanks to Ununexium Legend of LeMons Medal winner John of Hoonatic Racing, there will be live streaming video coverage of the North Dallas Hooptie, starting Monday morning. Check it out!

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