Our intrepid technical team will perform hardware maintenance tomorrow, Tuesday between  8am and 11am Eastern. TTAC will move to a standby server, while they replace hardware on the main server, vacuum the dust mites, lubricate the hard-drives, and whatever scheduled maintenance a server needs.

The techies “don’t expect it to cause issues,” but they want us to know nonetheless. Because the DNS is being switched, there may be timeouts and longer than usual lag times in some places. You have been warned.

WARNING:  The content following the jump, albeit taken from a popular car site, could be viewed as highly objectionable when viewed here. It could also get you fired at YOUR workplace, or get you in DEEP trouble at home. DO NOT click the jump if this offends you, and DO NOT complain if the warning is not heeded. Mature language. Parental guidance is advised.

It is now common knowledge (at least, it is familiar to the folks who are into this stuff) that longterm TTAC writer Steven Lang departed TTAC. His great stories about the secret world of car auctions, and his first person insider reports from the drive here pay here underground will be sorely missed, and I don’t mean this in mean jest.  I keep telling people that nobody is irreplaceable, but Steve is.  He will be, unless we find the owner of a drive here pay here joint, who is also an auto auctioneer, and who can write – an unlikely combination of talents. Wherever he goes, read his stories. But is Steve safe where he goes? It looks like he might be jumping from a small frying pan into sustained fire.

According to his story at Jalopnik, Steve departed TTAC over the use of a word that stands for short-haired women loving women, along with “random articles that feature sex toys and general meanness at total strangers.”  (The Jalopnik story linked to the respective shocking stories at TTAC. The story also repeated the D-word, which I don’t D-are to repeat for fear of waterboarding.) Apparently, he thinks he is in subtler hands at Jalopnik and Yahoo.

People have varying thresholds for disgust, I understand. What I have a hard time understanding is that someone with such well-developed sensitivities is proud to write for Jalopnik, a site, which we all know, knows no shame. This is no value judgement. A good journalist should not be bashful.

To assist Steve in his career, we developed this multipart look Inside Of The Auto Blogging Industry – with a special emphasis on Jalopnik and its corporate owners at Gawker. This is useful information to any new writer at Jalopnik. Gawker will exert  much more influence on  Steve’s stories than Verticalscope on ours. Which is easy to do: VS never exerts any influence on stories at TTAC, never did, never will.  I have been reliably informed that Steve not so much wanted to have a cleaner TTAC, he may have sought a job as the chief of the august publication. There is one way to create an immediate job opening: Make our corporate owners change or influence a story on TTAC, and I will immediately leave.

Too much has been written already, therefore, we let pictures speak for themselves.  Here, we provide a pictorial insight into the social dynamics that await a not so young writer at his new Jalopnik workplace.  We provide the pictures with full links as proof that we did not make it up. If you want to shoot someone, don’t shoot the messenger. Last chance to leave, we are entering the world of Jalopnik

At TTAC, Steve was upset about a regular, albeit high quality dildo. (Jack Baruth loved the sex aid.)  At Jalopnik, Steven sees himself confronted with a Christian dildo, used as an illustration for “Cab driver banned from displaying crucifix because it looks like a penis.”

At TTAC, Steven had to endure pictures of floppy ears. At Jalopnik: Pictorial cruelty to animals. Nobody seems to care, as shown by the headline “Well, There’s Your Problem.”

Jalopnik seems to be obsessed with reproductive organs: “Russian Drawbridge Defaced With Giant Penis.”

Jalopnik has a special section for Penis size News , Videos, Reviews. Probably just to fool Google, but they fooled me. Here, news about “Penis Size and Speeding Tickets: A Sizable Correlation.”

More reproductive organ obsession: “Yes, That’s A Snow Penis.” It’s huge, considering that it’s cold.

Save the whales: “Pam Anderson Forces Russian SUV-maker To Circumcise Whale Penis Leather Interior.” And more penis fixation.

Stereotyping, Lamborghini edition: “Meet The Most Stereotypical Lamborghini Owner In The World.”

Stereotyping, Lamborghini edition, 2: “Meet The Most Stereotypical Lamborghini Owner In The World.”

Signs of clinical penis fixation: “Ten More Unfortunate Street Names”

The road less traveled: “Ten More Unfortunate Street Names.” Says Jalopnik:  ”Take too many trips down this road, though, and you’ll end up on Cockburn Street.”

Domestic violence: “The Ten Strangest Tanks Ever Built”

Illustration for a Viper V10 topic: “Y U NO HAVE MORE LOW END TORQUE!? Cars? What cars?

Expletive undeleted: “Tuesday Night’s Stock Car Race Was A Total Shit Show”

„The Diesel Dyke!” When Jalopnik used this highly pejorative word (trucks should be up in arms and demand that author Davey G. Johnson be fired,) nobody complained – as far as we know. However, there seems to be strange self-censorship going on. Where is the picture of the diesel?

Ah! Here it is! To access this picture, a cached copy had to be used. However, now we are totally confused. Not upset. Confused. What was wrong with the truck?

Jalopnik has a special section for Gay News, Videos, Reviews and Gossip. For news like “Top Gear “Bans” Gay Couples From Studio Audience.”

Or for reports like this one: “VW Rabbit Most Queer-ied Car In First Quarter, 2009.” Did anyone demand Matt Hardigree’s ouster over this disparaging word?

Sometimes, Google plays tricks on us. I’m sure Ray Wert did not say this about Jim Press. However, Google makes it appear as if he did. And if you can google it, it must be true, no?  Collateral damage caused by SEO saturation bombing, I guess.

Say stop. Ok, I stop. I leave it up to you: Was Steven’s outrage genuine? Or did he simply not do enough due diligence before his Jalop-hop?

PS:

The Jalopnik stories about Steven Lang resigning his editorship  appear to have been mostly removed from Jalopnik. The link under the Read …  leads to Kinja, and a click on the link gets this:

At least it does so on my machine.

Likewise gone is the picture of yours truly, in which Jalopnik caught me groping two men. The men are my former Typhoon offshore racing teammates Randy “Mad Dog” Schleuss (left) and Jim “J-O”  Natoli (right). Subliminal message: They are all gay. As if it’s bad. Too bad we aren’t, those long nights in the camper, dragging a black 29ft 525hp raceboat down never-ending freeways would have been more entertaining.

Still there among the comments at Jalopnik is the obligatory picture of the little Dutch boy sticking his finger in the dike, along with sundry “Lesbaru” references. On TTAC, there would be smoking ruins by now. At Jalopnik: Absence of outrage.

And how do we feel about this uncurated comment? Where Steve comes from, it’s “general meanness at total strangers” when a reporter at a Chinese auto show takes pictures of a floppy-eared booth professional who was put there so that reporters could take pictures of a floppy-eared booth professional. Meanwhile, at his new workplace, there are comments that could easily be seen as sexist, racist, and as a suggestion of trafficking. Where’s the reader revolt?

Besides, she’s not half my age. She’s 20 years younger. And, she says, “I’m not Asian, I’m Japanese.”

The discussion is open. Feel free to discuss the above. As far as the D-word goes, I have learned my lesson. I apologize to anyone who honestly felt offended. I won’t use the word anymore, now that I know that sensitivities are much higher at TTAC than at Jalopnik. The ban on a discussion of the D-word topic itself remains in place. We leave that to the other sites, and to people who need to be better at feigning outrage. 

(All pictures, except Google screenshots, courtesy Jalopnik.com, Groping picture: Tomoko Schmitt)

As you may (or may not) have noticed, there was an issue on TTAC where people would get only an old copy of TTAC. They received the new version once they logged on. Or maybe it was the other way around. Our technical team got right on it, and it seems they fixed it. I am asking your help to make sure that the problem indeed has been fixed.

The technical team’s work was made very hard due to the fact that the problem was unobservable by them. I also could not reproduce the problem on my computer, and neither could Derek. Other TTAC editors, such as Alex Dykes, saw the problem. It is not easy to fix what one cannot see.

• Please reply whether you still see the problem, or you don’t.
• Please include your browser and operating system (for instance: “Chrome 26/Windows 7”).
• Please report only on problems you see from today, Saturday, May 4^th 2013 on out.
• Please do not report on problems you saw before that date.

(Of course, if the problem is still out there, those of you who have it and who have not logged on will not see this story, but we do whatever we can ….)

Our tech team applied a security update that appears to munch text. They are hard at work on fixing the problem. It’s not your computer that has character flaws, it’s ours.

It is very simple: Stay civil.

Commenters can say anything on TTAC, as long as it is said in a civilized way. It’s not what one says on TTAC that can attract a ban, only how comments are made. Rudeness, bullying, name calling can quickly lead to a permanent bannage.

TTAC is proud to be different than the usual sites on the Internet. A huge part of what sets us apart is the depth and quality of the comments. Sadly, there are a few isolated cases who don’t seem to understand this simple rule. Last week, we had to ban a few commenters because of that. We also received a few letters in the recent weeks, complaining about a deterioration of the general tone in the commenting section.

It always pains me when I have to send someone away. However, sometimes, sacrifices must be made. It pains me when long term quality commenters are shown the door. However, the commenting rules apply equally to everybody, including TTAC editors. (The commenting rules do not apply to TTAC articles.)

Rudeness triggers rudeness, and soon, it brings the whole discussion down. Do you want to go to a party where you know you will be accosted and bullied?

Please read the TTAC Commenting Policy. It works on two very simple principles:

1. When commenting, picture yourself being invited to a dinner party with a roomful of strangers. You probably will not attack or insult the host, or the other guests. You will get annoyed by rude and uncivilized guests. You will understand that the host will not invite people back who violate simple rules of civility. Attacking the host could mean an end of the dinner before desserts are served.
2. You have a right to your opinion, you are immediately wrong if you are rude. Rude, uncivilized remarks mean an immediate loss of the argument. They also can mean a loss of commenting privileges.

To make it even simpler, we have worked principle #2 into the TTAC Law:

“First to get rude loses the argument.”

• If someone gets rude on TTAC, simply say “TTAC Law.”
• If someone calls you a cottonpicking male offspring of a female canine, simply say “TTAC Law.”
• Instead of demanding to bring a banned commenter back, simply say “TTAC Law” when rudeness happens. YOU can prevent bannage: Say “TTAC Law.”

Also, we have new authors, and we will have more. Please go easy on them. Unless you are a very seasoned , long-term professional writer, having your writing criticized in public can be extremely embarrassing. We have lost a few new good writers because of this. From now on, we will rather lose a few bad commenters. By the way: TTAC editors never ever edit comments, we are not here to clean up other people’s messes.

So before you hit SUBMIT COMMENT, check your writing: Is it rude? Insulting? Would saying it get you not invited back to the dinner party? Would it get you smacked over the head in a rough bar? Then DON’T SUBMIT THE COMMENT.

Trolls ‘R’ Us

The campaign for TTAC’s Top Troll goes into its final stretch. Nominations for the TTAC Top Troll Poll have been made.  Some folks received multiple nominations, but we will not declare a winner just yet. The Top Troll will be decided by popular vote. Tomorrow, Friday, we go to the Top Troll Polls. But first, we need your help.

After sifting through nearly 300 comments, and ignoring repeated comments that this is just to generate repeated comments, here is the list of candidates, along with the people who nominated them. Remember, there will be two winners: The Top Troll, and the commenter who nominated the winning Top Troll first. Repeated nominations are not listed.

Please, check the list and note any inconsistencies. Remember: Nominating a TTAC editor or author counts as an immediate self nomination.

Should any worthy trolls be found missing in your opinion, now is the time to nominate them. The primary will close tonight, and tomorrow, it’s Top Troll Poll time. And don’t forget: There is the double secret rule, which will be unveiled when it is too late.

Today, we run a procedural vote:

Should self nominations be admitted to the poll? Without them, the final poll would be less cluttered. If you feel strongly about keeping them: It’s your vote that counts.

Our mascot

Like any good on-line community, TTAC has its fair share of those little supernatural beings from Norse mythology, called trolls. If I tell you that some people call trolls fairies, this will immediately cause protests of LGBT discrimination, racism, or worse. How do you bring trolls out? Simple, you bait them. For instance with sentences such as the above. We have a better idea: We want you to elect TTAC’s SUPERTROLL.

What is a troll?

Wikipedia says it is “someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as a forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking readers into an emotional response or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.”

The Urban Dictionary says a troll is “someone with nothing worthwhile to add to a certain conversation, but rather continually threadjacks or changes the subject, as well as thinks every member of the forum is talking about them and only them.”

Today and tomorrow, you can nominate TTAC’s most eminent and egregious trolls. Simply enter their TTAC handle in a comment, with a short explanation, if you insist.

Of course, TTAC’s master trolls will immediately try to deflect the poll by nominating TTAC editors or authors. Those are off limits, and by nominating a TTAC editor or author, you would immediately nominate yourself as a TTAC Top Troll candidate.

We will let the nomination run for a day or two, then we will vote.

• What does a TTAC Top Troll get? Freedom. As it is the common practice in this kind of a contests, you can vote the Top Troll off the island.
• You may nominate a maximum of three candidates. Nominate more, and you go on the list.
• Be the first to nominate the Top Troll and you get a TTAC Get Out Of Jail Card – unbannable for a year
• There is another sealed and secret rule. I shall reveal it when it is too late.

And now: Start the nominations.

Andrew Lok, a.k.a. contestant #28, won the Thursday round of the TTAC Future Writers Week by a wide margin. His epos on stolen GPS machines, and his pilgrimage to the Valhalla of Speed, the Nürburgring der Niebelongen, received 45 percent of all votes on Thursday.  In the following week, when the full results of TTAC’s Future Writers Week were published, Lok was gone.

Instead of Lok, William Simonsick found himself standing on the podium. His treatise on the demographic stereotypes for Subaru buyers, with a focus on the People’s Republic of Boulder, originally had deposited him far back in the pile on place 5 when all the votes were counted. A few days later,  Simonsick suddenly was the cat’s meow. Scandal!

“Statistical abuse at its worst,” barked TTAC watchdog Pch101, who called  for a public hanging of the responsible. “Toad” APaGttH said this is “undoubtedly a case of severe bias.” Actually, nobody had noticed. Except Wild Bill Simonsick, perhaps, but he kept his own counsel, a retired professor of the Marquette Law School.

Today, we received an email.

“I got hosed!” writes Andrew Lok, “I won the Wednesday round and didn’t make it to the final assignment. What happened?” We immediately started an investigation, and determined that due to my stupidity a computer error, Lok was falsely dropped, and Simonsick was falsely named as a winner, along with a general jumble of the Thursday results.

Having already crowned Simonsick, we don’t want to send him back to the ranks of the unloved. Therefore, William Simonsick becomes Editor’s Chocie #2. He will cover demographics in Boulder for TTAC.

Here is the corrected and hopefully definitive listing:

PS: Andrew nearly caused me a heart attack. After his email, I immediately raced to the Wednesday round which Andrew said he had won. Neither Andrew‘s nor Bill’s names could be found. I feared total data corruption, Chinese hackers, or worse. Turned out that good Andrew also isn’t perfect either. It was the Thursday round.

TTAC’s Managing Editor Derek Kreindler shocked me with the news that he will undergo a life-threatening operation on Monday: His tonsils will be removed.  Should his doctor not know what he is doing, now he does.

Derek had even more shocking news for me: He will be out all week, nursing his removed tonsils with the vanilla ice cream they had promised me when my tonsils came out at age five. They never gave me the ice cream, but leaving me alone at the helm of TTAC, Derek gives me a big problem.  You, Future Writers, can help:

Yesterday, I gave you your first assignment, with a deadline of February 9. Would it be at possible if you could send-in the story (you have the secret email address) a bit earlier? Like Monday? How about Tuesday then? Some of you already sent in theirs, and beating deadline will always be rewarded. Maybe, just maybe, the stories will be so good that we won’t need Derek when he comes back sans tonsils? Just kidding, Derek, just kidding. We love you, even without those  …. things.

You noticed that I needed to catch my breath a bit from TTAC’s Future Writers Week.  The results still have me breathless. At the start, I thought with seven a day, I probably have enough until Friday. Was I ever wrong.

Even extending the event by two more days  due to overwhelming popular demand, I still have enough candidates for another few weeks. Don’t despair:  Your works will be presented to the ruthless readers of TTAC, in the future, after we have digested that whale of a contest.

After a grueling week, 19 writers join the ranks of TTAC, which makes Thetruthaboutcars not only the carsite with the best readers, but most probably the carsite with the most writers.

Here is the final list:

Not to forget David Hester, Contestant 31, who earned the highly coveted  Editors Choice Award on Friday. Should I ever get a ticket in Canada, I will drop your name, David, and I expect the ticket to be dropped.

Also do not forget: There were no winners on Tuesday. Tuesday was deemed an awful day by our jury. My condolences to Paul and Mike, who may have been disqualified by association.

Many of  TTAC’s new writers already wrote and said: “What now? When do I start? How do I start?”

Here is your first assignment:

• Finish the winning story.
• The snippet that was quoted during the contest must be part of the story, verbatim. Everything else is up to you.
• The story should have anywhere between 400 and 800 words. Please not longer.  Also include one short paragraph that introduces you: Who are you, what do you do, where do you live.  Please send the stories to my personal email, which will be given to you in a few days, along with more instructions.
• Deadline: Saturday, February 9, 2013

Start wirting! (And please, use a spell checker.)

The commenters already thanked the Saturday team of contestants for their great work. Let’s thank them again. It was good – at least most of it. Today, we announce Saturday’s winners. We also present a new batch of contestants. Then, we will take a break. But first, Saturday’s winners.

Please give it up for:

• Keith Kostecke, a.k.a. contestant #39
• Derek Young, a.k.a. contestant #41
• Michael Stephenson, a.k.a. contestant #36

TTAC applauds thee. Those who have not won: Don’t despair; there is always a chance to make Editor’s Choice. We announced one editor’s choice yesterday, and we will announce more  next week when we wrap up TTAC’s Future Writers Week for a while. As announced, we will present you  more  contestants during the course of the coming weeks and months, but we won’t do it every day.

Before we do that, let me present you today’s – and for the time being last – batch of contestants.

The TTAC Future Writers – Sunday Contestants

The rules of engagement, listed below, remain the same as yesterday. Keep in mind, the writing examples are presented here in the same order as they arrived in my mailbox. They are shown unedited, unproof-read, as-is. If no writing examples were sent, despite the fact that they were requested, snippets from the emails were used instead.

Contestant 43 writes:

“I don’t like people, but I like cars. A machine seems simple, elegant, sometimes beautiful. Sleek body lines lead to enticingly sculpted rear fenders, making some objects of sexual desire. She (or maybe he) will go as far as you want on the first date (considering you’re buying), and putting on the aggressive moves just enhances the fun. It’s a delightful thought loving cars instead of people: no talking, no nagging, and you can just be yourself. Or can you?”

 

Contestant 44 writes:

“ The shifter knobs were gone. Which means that someone at some point realized that they were being stolen. It was the first day of the Phoenix Auto Show in downtown Phoenix. Great weather but no one would be there because it was Thanksgiving Day. A day for football and family and turkey. There were 500 cars. All brand new. You were allowed to sit inside every car. The advertisements said that there would be no ”selling”. But everyone knew that the salesmen would be there. How could they not be there when 100,000 buyers were going to be in that place. The ads were right. No salesmen. No selling. Just a few of the manufacturers’ employees to answer questions; and that’s all they did. No sales pitches. Just smiles.”

Contestant 45 writes:

  As I started approaching 200K in the Accord, I decided that would be the magic number that would trigger my hunt for a new car. During the few months leading up to the rolling of the odo, I ruled out – or should I say gas prices ruled out – anything that didn’t get at least the average 23 MPG that I was getting during my commute to and fro the workplace. While I’m not a total Honda fanboy, I was quite satisfied with the low cost of ownership I experienced with the Accord, and also with the 2007 CR-V sitting next to it in the garage. Because of this, I thought for sure my next car would be another Accord EX, but this time not in the never-can-keep-it-looking-clean-for-more-than-five-minutes black color that I suffered with for all of these years.

Contestant 46 writes:

“ Riley was my college buddy who was gawky, stuttered, had bad teeth, and a haircut I could really only describe as a Starter Afro, which was weird because Riley was white and from Maine. And yet, to his friends’ continued amazement, Riley always got tons of girls – I mean they were all over him. Equally amazing, I remember thinking, was his choice of car: a 15-year-old 1987 5-speed 318is. Sure, the car looked pretty cool, in an ironic-homage-to-Gordon-Gekko kind of way, but for what he paid for it, there were surely better cars for braving the treacherous hills and thruways of wintertime central New York state. “

Contestant 47 writes:

“ I bought my Civic two years ago from a family member who bought it new way back in 1993. The car now has over 350,000 km on it, so I expected that it would require some repairs. But it hasn’t required much work. I have changed the starter, battery, and several coolant hoses, but nothing major – yet. In August of last year, I took the car to the nearest AirCare center for its bi-annual emissions test. It failed – high NOx reading. Shazbut. I had already checked everything on the car that I knew to check before the test. The engine doesn’t burn oil, the spark plugs were clean, and the timing was bang-on. I turned to the internet for help. ”

 

Contestant 48 writes:

“The bogan: A racist Australian male commonly seen dressed in black jeans, a Jack Daniels singlet and a pair of blacked out sunglasses. What makes a bogan though is his car. He will often have three cars, one functioning car in the garage and the other two that he’ll eventually get around to doing up. One will be on the front lawn, and the other in the backyard. They tend to be part on two camps, Ford or Holden. They will get together each year on a weekend in October to drink ”piss” (beer) and play Metallica as high as their cheap Aftermarket speakers can handle. This cocktail of alcohol and rivalry often leads to a brawl. “

Contestant 49 writes:

“Isn’t that covered under warranty?” Whenever this question was asked, there were two possibilities as to its origin. 1) The customer is trying to get something for nothing, or 2) The customer is dumber than they are stupid. As I learned as a service advisor, neither was the kind of person I wanted to deal with. I was at our company’s Saturn-SAAB dealership with some of the best people in the business. I was lucky enough that not only was the owner one of the best men I’ve ever met, he genuinely cared about his staff and his customers. We were always told to do whatever we had to do to keep the customers happy, because customer service is what built businesses. “

R.O.E.

Above are today’s contestants. Pick them carefully. The top ones will be around for a long time. Here are the Rules of Engagement:

• You are presented with a set of seven writing examples. Their authors haven been carefully anonymized. They have a number instead.
• The top three out of each set of seven receive an entry permit into the rarefied world of TTAC writers. Those who don’t make the grade and who fail in front of our jury will be sold into white slavery, or worse, recommended for the morning shift at Jalopnik. (Inciting voter apathy could mean that all contestants are sold off, we want and keep the winners.)
• The snippets come in the exact order they landed in my mailbox.
• The snippets have been chosen by me, in a very subjective way: By looking quickly at the story, and by picking what stands out.
• You have two votes for each day. Both votes have equal weight. You may not vote more than once per day and set of contestants. Don’t throw away your votes!
• The vote for each set runs until the second set appears. That’s typically for around 24 hours. Vote now, do not procrastinate. Voting for the last set stops when I say so, also typically 24 hours after the last set goes up.

And now,let’s go to the polls!

(No hanging chads. Don’t mail or phone it in. Read snippets before voting. Vote now.)

Remember: You have TWO votes. Place your bets.

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

Friday – thank God – was a great day in TTAC’s Future Writers Week. It definitely was a lot better than Dud-Tuesday. The readers loved what the Friday round of writers wrote. The winners were separated by just a few votes, always a good sign of an exciting race. My favorite came in 4^th, which again proves that my tastes are totally removed from the mainstream. And the winners are:

• Jeremiah Cayce , a.k.a. Contestant #32
• Jeff Snavely, a.k.a. Contestant #35
• Thomas M Kreutzer, a.k.a. Contestant #29

My personal favorite David “Dukeboy” Hester did not make the podium, probably due to blatant discrimination against LEOs. I have a thing for cops, except when they pull me over, and I declare Dukeboy TTAC’s first Editor’s choice. With that, TTAC’s Future Writers Week ends with 13 new TTAC writers, selected and elected by a very tough audience from 35 contestants. Would there not be one nasty problem …

I am drowning in many more contestants. We have gone through less than half of what is in my inbox. Yesterday, I asked for your advice in that matter.

I did read all your recommendations. You tell me that you want this contest to go on. I need to reconcile this with the fact that I also want to write about other things, and that (you did notice that the writing gig will be pro bono, did you?) I definitely do not have the budget to hire that special TTAC Future Writers Editor. I also want to do something else than dig through old Apprentice UK YouTube videos.

So here is what will happen: I do another round today. Maybe, I will do another round tomorrow, after I have returned from a fact-finding mission that will prove once and for all and with pictures, that Japan is NOT a closed market for imports, and that, as a matter of fact, one can find parking lots full of imported cars with not a single Japanese car in sight, right here in downtown Tokyo. Don’t believe? Come back tomorrow for a new round of TTAC’s Future Writers, and for the definitive photo report on the wide open closed market that is Japan.

EVEN THEN we will still have masses of unchecked contestants in my hopper. Those will be presented to you throughout the year, in the now familiar format, and you can select them in the now familiar format throughout the year. Meaning: A round of voting maybe once a week, or once every two weeks, possibly. But no more new entries, please.

Amca and Jif, you are confused: I said no more new submissions. If you have sent in yours before, I should have them. If you haven’t seen them show up, then they must be in the huge backlog, and they will be judged – eventually. As a penance for not paying attention, you must read TTAC throughout the year to check for when your number is up.

As for the repeated calls for female writers: I heard and hear you. They will be chosen according to a completely new evaluation scheme: You bring them. I pick them. Then, Frau Schmitto-san will go through what I picked. Frau Schmitto-san is a designer and will want pictures.

The TTAC Future Writers – Saturday Contestants

The rules of engagement, listed below, remain the same as yesterday. Keep in mind, the writing examples are presented here in the same order as they arrived in my mailbox. They are shown unedited, unproof-read, as-is. If no writing examples were sent, despite the fact that they were requested, snippets from the emails were used instead.

Contestant 36 writes:

“103 miles. 103 miles of ¬ba-bump-ba-bump concrete interstate, tires droning beneath uninsulated floor pans, a rattling rear door, and a squeaky passenger visor. This veritable symphony of automotive maladies lulls me into a semiconscious daze as I travel up and down I-16 during both of my daily 51.5 mile trips to and from work. There are a handful of small stretches of smooth pavement that do offer a brief respite, allowing the radio to drown out the road noise without making the speakers rattle. The only thought that enters my mind from the time I leave work until the time I arrive home is a simple four word phrase: I hate my car. It wasn’t always this way, though. I test drove it four times before trading in my silver 2004 Crown Victoria LX on a brand new 2008 Toyota Rav4 Sport V6. I know, I know… Panther blasphemy.”

 

Contestant 37 writes:

“You know you should like it. It may be a few years old, but it’s maturity, not decline. The ticker reads a number only attainable after many years of faithful service, but somehow that doesn’t show when you fire it up. It turns over effortlessly; the engine fires up willingly; the engine quickly settles into a gentle purr. It’s a Toyota – a Corolla – and it shows it. It was built to last, and last it will. Shift it into gear, and you are under way. Fifteen triple-digit summers and fifteen oil-congealing winters have done little to lessen the quality of the ride, and yet the car is soon forgotten. Your heart quietens and relaxes; your breathing slows. All you see is the traffic in front of you; all you feel is this empty feeling inside. How could it be that someone designed and built this car to be forgettable?”

Contestant 38 writes:

“I won it on eBay in 2008, between Christmas and New Years, during a moment when the stock market was in the toilet and most people were more worried about paying for presents than buying things for themselves. No one was buying cars, certainly not little, overpriced ones, which is why I snuck up and sniped a 2006 BMW 325 xiT station wagon, real fly in tan leather, burled wood and arctic silver paint (you know, the shade that looks blue or grey depending on the sun, the angle, and the mood of the observer. It’s like a mood car).”

 

Contestant 39 writes:

“Jeff called while I was watching the Ed Sullivan Show. He was my best friend but it was odd for him call on a Sunday night. (As eighth-graders in 1968, it was unusual for any of us to call our friends except to see if they were available to “do something” at that moment, and we never did anything on Sunday nights.) Jeff liked to take his parents’ 1967 Saab 96 around the block when they were gone and, that evening, overshot the turn onto his street, jumping the ditch and landing in his next-door neighbor’s front yard. After repeatedly killing the engine while attempting to get traction, he managed to exit the yard. As this was a two-cycle three cylinder Saab that sounded like a chain saw when revved, Jeff assumed the neighbors, or the police, would soon be paying a visit.”

Contestant 40 writes:

“While the NAIAS was going on, there was a much more significant auto show in Scottsdale at the Barrett Jackson Auction. As someone who actually doesn’t care much for most classic cars, let’s face it, Packard’s are not pretty, nor is the Mercedes-Benz gullwing, sorry. Plus I like comfort, seatbelts and navigation. The auction is one of few enjoyable things to watch now that the football season is ending. At the auction, we saw automotive failures that are now successes and designs that can no longer exist because of safety and fuel standards. It also shows a bygone era of when cars were built by trial, entrepreneurship, design flair, and whimsy rather than by computers. It also proves how important design is (i.e. the Mustang), in that all you need to do is get it right once, and then just modernize the style. There’s a reason why design is so important: once it works, it will last forever.”

 

Contestant 41 writes:

“I have always been drawn to oddball cars. Growing up in Vancouver during the early 90s, we were privy to a host of automotive delights which were never available to our neighbours to the south. The mixture of Cold War ambivalence, Canadian frugality and the then largely non-existent emissions regulations ensured that there was a constant stream of cheap and reasonably cheerful offerings in the used car markets. A 1986 Skoda Estelle you say? Done that. A Lada Niva? Been there. Three mid-80s Hyundai Ponies in rapid succession? Pleaaaase.”

Contestant 42 writes:

“The Obamobile will be like no vehicle you’ve ever owned before. First, the good news. It will get much better fuel economy than the less hopeful, less changed competition, and it will belch fewer pollutants into the air. More good news – it weighs less than vehicles lacking the refinement of the Obamobile. Now for the bad news. It weighs less than vehicles lacking the refinement of the Obamobile. There will be a minor period of adjustment until the ordinary vehicles are gone from our roads during which, if your Obamobile collides with an older, less nuanced vehicle, it collapses into a box roughly shaped like a coffin. But there’s a silver lining, citizen. You can be buried in your Obamobile, and there will be one less burial option your survivors will have to dicker over at the funeral home.”

R.O.E.

Above are today’s contestants. Pick them carefully. The top ones will be around for a long time. Here are the Rules of Engagement:

• You are presented with a set of seven writing examples. Their authors haven been carefully anonymized. They have a number instead.
• The top three out of each set of seven receive an entry permit into the rarefied world of TTAC writers. Those who don’t make the grade and who fail in front of our jury will be sold into white slavery, or worse, recommended for the morning shift at Jalopnik. (Inciting voter apathy could mean that all contestants are sold off, we want and keep the winners.)
• The snippets come in the exact order they landed in my mailbox.
• The snippets have been chosen by me, in a very subjective way: By looking quickly at the story, and by picking what stands out.
• You have two votes for each day. Both votes have equal weight. You may not vote more than once per day and set of contestants. Don’t throw away your votes!
• The vote for each set runs until the second set appears. That’s typically for around 24 hours. Vote now, do not procrastinate. Voting for the last set stops when I say so, also typically 24 hours after the last set goes up.

And now, let’s go to the polls!

(No hanging chads. Don’t mail or phone it in. Read snippets before voting. Vote now.)

Remember: You have TWO votes. Place your bets.

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

This is day five of TTAC’s Future Writers Week. We have three new winners. We have seven new contestants. And I have a huge problem.

Let’s get to Thursday’s winners first. It looks like you had no problem picking them. Sex, crime, Autobahn and Nürburgring carried the day yesterday. Not quite in that order, but that’s what keeps it interesting. Keeping with the budding writer theme, it was mostly PG13: We did read stories about front bench seats that were used for nothing else than a dumping ground for fast food residue, we learned about a pervert who did not want to party with people half his age, and who preferred an affair with a Peugeot instead. It was a winning combination. Yesterday’s winners are:

• Andrew Lok, a.k.a. Contestant #28
• Matt Oppen, a.k.a. Contestant #22
• Sean Scoggins, a.k.a. Contestant #24

We congratulate thee! With the votes and confidence of your peers, you have advanced into the ranks of TTAC’s Future Writers. Hold your horses, bask in your glory, and wait until you hear from us for your first writing assignment.

I also must admit that I am having a huge problem. With today’s new batch of seven, we will have juried 35 contestants. Looking at my email-inbox, I have contestants for at least another week, if not more.  I think, the prudent thing to do is to immediately say:

No more applications, please! The inbox is closed.

As for what to do with the huge backlog, I need your advice.  Voting once every four years seems to be big enough a bother, but voting each day for weeks? I could blow them all out over the week-end. Want to jury a huge collection of one-liners over two days and get it over with? I could do personal triage and simply take the ones I think are good. I bet the commentariat has better ideas. Let’s hear them. And don’t send more applications, please! There will be another contest, trust me.

As for the backlog, I will be most grateful for your advice. Suggestions that the contestants are no  L. J. K. Setright are being met with the old adage that you get what you pay for. And that there is no such thing as a free Setright.

The TTAC orchestra already has left for the weekend. So without fanfare and drumrolls:

The TTAC Future Writers – Friday Contestants

The rules of engagement, listed below, remain the same as yesterday. Keep in mind, the writing examples are presented here in the same order as they arrived in my mailbox. They are shown unedited, unproof-read, as-is. If no writing examples were sent, despite the fact that they were requested, snippets from the emails were used instead.

Contestant 29 writes:

“My neighbor growing up, Wayne Stork, was a quiet, gentle giant of a man who loved machines. Growing up as a car nut myself, it was hard to miss the fact that the Storks owned almost every kind of cool machine you could imagine – motorcycles, trucks, cars, boats, tractors, hay bailers even a couple of bulldozers and a ramp truck. If it rolled, floated, or crawled, Wayne probably owned it at one time or another. For a guy with an enduring love of machines, however, Wayne had one fault – he never really took especially good care of anything. As a result almost every machine Wayne owned died within a few years of purchase.“

 

Contestant 30 writes:

 “Here is where I give full disclosure: I’m a former owner of a Nissan pickup. Remember the Hardbody? I had one– and loved it. I’m a current owner of a Nissan cube and a base Ford Ranger pickup. I bought the Ford because at the time I was shopping (2007), it was the most fuel-efficient pickup on sale in America. I seldom haul more than a few hundred pounds in the bed, and primarily use it as a commuter. When truck-shopping after years of faithful service from my recently totaled Hardbody, I just couldn’t talk myself into a Frontier for a couple of reasons.”

Contestant 31 writes:

 “My G-ride awaits, a 2007 Ford Crown Vic Police Interceptor in “Official Government Business” silver. My department assigns each officer a home-fleet vehicle and I’ve been driving this one for a little over 40,000 of it’s 89,000 miles. One of the last of the real Police Interceptors, it boasts the civilian interior upgrade, with mouse- fur covered cloth bench seats instead of vinyl, carpeting instead of vomit resistant rubber, and a CD player. However, in a surprise outbreak of fiscal prudence, whoever ordered the cars that year failed to check the box for the exterior upgrades, like chrome trim. It’s the best of both worlds: soft semi- luxury inside with the blacked out “move to the right” front grill.”

 

Contestant 32 writes:

“Why the ****should I provide three paragraphs? I’m not in this for the notoriety associated with being published. I am a high school English AP teacher and everyday 180 students are forced to read my cynical commentary on a subject that serves no inherent purpose to them. The only reason that I am even responding to this query is because I am a man; I eat raw meat and drink milk that expired last week, I have a permanent line of dirt under my fingernails that I am apparently saving in case the apocalypse happens and I need to be carbon dated, I make a conscious choice to inhale deeper when the whiff of gasoline or diesel is nearby, and the only type of circular saw I know how to use is worm gear driven, weighs sixteen pound (lightweight due to the lack of a safety trigger), and needs its oil changed three times a year.”

Contestant 33 writes:

 “About ten years ago, I finally began to settle down. Got engaged, and went out and bought myself a sports car. I justified this particular car to my then-fiancee with a plan for an epic (there’s that word again) honeymoon trip: Drive to New England, in autumn, topless. No, this isn’t Maxim or The Chive. Topless car, not topless wife. So, fueled by fires of forum chatter aplenty, I started my search for the only ragtop that makes sense to keyboard racers: a Miata.”

Contestant 34 writes:

 “Rays of ice-blue xenon pierced the dense, rain-soaked night, illuminating a postmodern, high-priced, yet dully conventional house. The BMW’s headlamps exorcised the darkness as Sadler navigated into the dry uncluttered garage. The wet tires crackled and left a trail along the immaculate sealed concrete. The garage door whirred to a close muting the cacophony of a summer storm. Sadler silenced the engine’s hollow thrum. Wearied, he sighed before stepping out of the “platinum grey metallic” vehicle. Entering the back hall he had expected familiar quiet and coolness, but lashing rain sounded too clearly and the indoor air was humid. Sadler knew he had an uninvited guest.”

Contestant 35 writes:

 “I thought I was hard-core. People who complain about the Lotus Elise’s lack of creature comforts or suspension compliance are wimps I thought. Many of us would agree that pure driving pleasure outweighs most other considerations, but the Elise is the ultimate test of this idea. I had lusted after the Elise ever since seeing one in Europe in the late 1990‘s and everything I had read about it perfectly meshed with my ideals about sports cars. After owning a ’91 Miata for almost ten years, the Elise was the next logical step. When I first sat in one in 2005 upon their release in the U.S., I knew I would own a used one someday. The styling was to die for, the cockpit was starkly beautiful in its own way, and the mechanical-feeling shifter was a joy.”

R.O.E.

Above are today’s contestants. Pick them carefully. The top ones will be around for a long time. Here are the Rules of Engagement:

• You are presented with a set of seven writing examples. Their authors haven been carefully anonymized. They have a number instead.
• The top three out of each set of seven receive an entry permit into the rarefied world of TTAC writers. Those who don’t make the grade and who fail in front of our jury will be sold into white slavery, or worse, recommended for the morning shift at Jalopnik. (Inciting voter apathy could mean that all contestants are sold off, we want and keep the winners.)
• The snippets come in the exact order they landed in my mailbox.
• The snippets have been chosen by me, in a very subjective way: By looking quickly at the story, and by picking what stands out.
• You have two votes for each day. Both votes have equal weight. You may not vote more than once per day and set of contestants. Don’t throw away your votes!
• The vote for each set runs until the second set appears. That’s typically for around 24 hours. Vote now, do not procrastinate. Voting for the last set stops when I say so, also typically 24 hours after the last set goes up.

And now, let’s go to the polls!

(No hanging chads. Don’t mail or phone it in. Read snippets before voting. Vote now.)

Remember: You have TWO votes. Place your bets.

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

The Wednesday installment of TTAC’s Future Writers Week, where YOU decide who will write for you, ended better than the round the day before. This time, you voted for three serviceable writers, and they are:

• Matthias Dean-Carpentier, a.k.a. Contestant #20
• Andrew Nevick,  a.k.a. Contestant #16
• Evan Reisner, a.k.a. Contestant #19

Contestants 15,  17, 18, and 21 did not make it past the jury of your reading peers. Do not despair, there is always a chance to get called upon via the “Editor’s Choice” award, where we apply our strictly subjective, and self-serving criteria.

Note:  Some contestants have expressed impatience over the fact that they have not been notified, told what to do, where to show up, what to write etc. Hold your horses. Take a vacation. Buy a new keyboard. You will get notified once the contest is over, and when we know exactly how to do this. As you may already have suspected, we make it up as we go along.

As for sources and methods: All I can say is that carburetor rebuilds on kitchen tables are more popular than ideal inventory levels and item-master systems. I know, this is despicable, but what can I do?

What I can do is present to you the Thursday set of seven writers, from which you choose the three best ones by popular vote. You have two votes. The best three win.

If you haven’t entered yet, and if you still want to play: Submission rules are here. Please try to stick to the rules, especially to the part where it says to simply send a note to editors, with “Becoming a TTAC Writer” as the topic. This helps sorting the applications into my proper mailbox. Creative topic writers are subjected to the hazards of spam filters and inattentive Editors. They also may receive a mark on my list, labeling them a potential pain in the neck that doesn’t listen to directions. (If you have already lost, and you are thinking of re-submitting: As long as you do it with a new email address, and using a new name, I probably won’t notice. But you will be stuck with that name forever!)

And now … drumroll, please

(As you can see, even the orchestra does not listen to directions anymore ..)

The TTAC Future Writers – Thursday Contestants

The rules of engagement, listed below, remain the same as yesterday. Keep in mind, the writing examples are presented here in the same order as they arrived in my mailbox. They are shown unedited, unproof-read, as-is. If no writing examples have been sent, despite the fact that they were requested, snippets from the emails were used instead.

Contestant 22 writes:

“My appreciation for the front bench seat started in the summer of 98’ with a chevy celebrity station wagon. A perfect example of late 80’s A-body goodness, it came with a blue velour-like bench seat that had seen generations of my family pile in three wide for the annual christmas road trip. You could count the number of years this bench seat endured by the number of french fries and other fast food items crammed between the seat cushions like rings on a tree.”

Contestant 23 writes:

“Sometimes the demographic stereotypes for particular car buyers exist for a reason. Being a current legal student that first graduated from that big Colorado university in the People’s Republic of Boulder and will almost certainly become the basic “yuppie”, Subarus have held some appeal to me. The idea of a rugged, capable, different family sedan has piqued my interest for awhile; I nearly purchased a used Subaru several years back, settling on a Volvo when I decided that the comfortable box would be a far greater companion on cross-country drives than the quirky, boxer-engined Subie.”

 

Contestant 24 writes:

“It was going to be one of those nights, and I knew it. The roommates were all going to a get together and wanted me to join in, for some odd reason. Parties are really not my gig, especially a party where I am the old one at Thirty Nine and the rest of the participants are under twenty six. But I said yes for some reason that still eludes me to this day, especially since we were going to take the roommates car. Now most folks know I am a touch of a car snob, yes I drive a Peugeot that should be getting a pension and I have a odd taste in cars as a general rule of thumb. But let me tell you about my experience with ’the box’.”

Contestant 25 writes:

“This particular RX-7 has 67,000 original miles and remains today exactly as it was when it rolled out of the factory in Hiroshima, Japan, in May of 1983. It was very nicely equipped for the day. High quality velour covered the center of the immensely comfortable bucket seats. There is a sunroof that pops open for ventilation and that you can step out of the car and manually remove entirely to stow in the cargo area for the full open air feel. That is right kids, no electric adjustment for this roof!”

Contestant 26 writes:

“The Desingo edition lets you pic your own personalized color combo for your new Mercedes. This doesn’t come free and it can take some time to get your special ordered ride to your door, but the results are nothing short of stunning. The grade of leather used in the Designo process tops the already high quality hides used in production line cars and a wide array of materials are available to complement the hand-stitched cockpit. Curly Maple, Olive, Bamboo woods, and glossy, deep black piano lacquer and natural stone trim elements are on the menu. Our CL 63 Designo had the $2300 Mystic Brown paint and $8900 Saffron Beige leather upholstery, a heated wood and premium leather steering wheel, the Alcantra roof liner and the Desingo exclusive metallic threaded carpeting options.”

Contestant 27 writes:

 “I had considered a GC in 2008 when I bought my Mini, but the exterior styling didn’t appeal to me. I began seeing the 2011 GC’s on the road and liked the refreshed styling, which is a result of their time with Daimler. I like the masculine sculpted sides, and the clean design of the front and rear. Is every SUV destined to have a chrome strip across the back? In any event I like the look, although the rear taillights could have been LED based instead of the bulbs. Maybe the new 2014 model will make the switch.”

Contestant 28 writes:

“Upon disovering my GPS was stolen, after stupidly leaving my car unlocked and unattended in urban Amsterdam for 3 days, we came to the realization that we had to depend on following Kozan in his rental 128i to get us to the Nurburgring. The drive out of the Netherlands to Germany was uneventful and fast. I was amazed that my little Swedish hatch felt so solid, at triple digit speeds, for miles and miles on the Authobahn.As we neared our destination, I was astonished this was finally happening. It was the little things that made it surreal. Everything from the little racecars emblazoned on the road sign for Nurburg to the excitement of seeing euro only cars like the Focus RS500 made me realize this was finally happening.”

R.O.E.

Above are today’s contestants. Pick them carefully. The top ones will be around for a long time. Here are the Rules of Engagement:

• You are presented with a set of seven writing examples. Their authors haven been carefully anonymized. They have a number instead.
• The top three out of each set of seven receive an entry permit into the rarefied world of TTAC writers. Those who don’t make the grade and who fail in front of our jury will be sold into white slavery, or worse, recommended for the morning shift at Jalopnik. (Inciting voter apathy could mean that all contestants are sold off, we want and keep the winners.)
• The snippets come in the exact order they landed in my mailbox.
• The snippets have been chosen by me, in a very subjective way: By looking quickly at the story, and by picking what stands out.
• You have two votes for each day. Both votes have equal weight. You may not vote more than once per day and set of contestants. Don’t throw away your votes!
• The vote for each set runs until the second set appears. That’s typically for around 24 hours. Vote now, do not procrastinate. Voting for the last set stops when I say so, also typically 24 hours after the last set goes up.

And now, let’s go to the polls!

(No hanging chads. Don’t mail or phone it in. Read snippets before voting. Vote now.)

Remember: You have TWO votes. Place your bets.

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

The Tuesday round of TTAC’s Future Writers Week ends with no new writers selected. That round definitely did not trigger mass excitement among our judges. Some even wanted to be able to assign demerits. Contestants 13 and 14 were the only halfway real entries in what otherwise was email snippets and proposals nobody wanted. Getting the most votes (from a definitely apathetic panel of judges) while running virtually unopposed does not constitute a win.

Let’s see whether a fresh batch of contestants can do better today. Again, everything is strictly in the order of incoming applications. Unedited, un-proof-read, as is. If there was no clear writing sample, something from the email was taken. Sorry …

The TTAC Future Writers – Wednesday Contestants

The rules of engagement, listed below, remain the same as yesterday.

Contestant 15 writes:

“My reaction to the new Vette is mixed. In general the proportions are fine but the detail design is underwhelming. The charcoal grills on the hood and haunches as well as the entire 1968 Toyota treatment of the rear end leaves me wanting (and scratching). The lack of a body colored A pillar is just plain goofy on any level.”

Contestant 16 writes:

 “Despite living in California for nearly eight years now, and recently becoming a citizen of these United States, I still consider myself to be an Englishman. To be English in America is a generally pleasant experience – no man will ever get tired of pretty girls telling him how cute his accent is – but it is also a life full of little differences which remind you every day that this is not your home, even though it is where you live.”

Contestant 17 writes:

 “So what is the ideal  inventory level, measured as days of inventory?  This is a more complex question, as it really depends on the manufacturer’s and the dealers’ business models and goals.  Assuming the North American model of car sales, the goal is to keep just enough cars on the dealers’ lots to allow a potential customer to find the one he or she wants to drive home, right now.  Too few cars, and you will lose customers because they can’t find the cars they want; too many, and the costs inventory financing and rebates will start to mount, and the dealers will begin to complain about too many cars on their lots.”

Contestant 18 writes:

“The majority of facilities currently manage supply prices through an item-master system and bill for those supplies through a separate charge-master system. Although the supply cost data needs to be communicated between the two disparate systems, they are not linked. Accordingly, manual processes must be performed to maintain the integrity of the data which can cause discrepancies in pricing resulting from missed charges, undercharges and overcharges.”

Contestant 19 writes:

“First, we must answer the question, ”What is a beater?” I suppose that is open to many definitions. If you have just plunked down $40,000 for a 1999 C70 Convertible, a $5000 740 might strike you as a beater. But my definition is simpler: a beater is a car purchased for a three-digit figure (or less! A recently acquired ’77 244DL cost $45!). It’s simple. $999 or less should easily get you a perfectly serviceable 240. Remember that a new-car buyer barely gets a decent down payment for that amount. Personally, I have owned eight 240 series cars, and have never paid more than $750.”

Contestant 20 writes:

“Growing up, my father and I bonded over trips to the pick-a-part in Atlanta or carburetor rebuilds in our kitchen, usually all for his 1984 F100 pick-up. For a while, I thought my Dad was simply an eccentric that liked his old truck for some reason, and never wanted to buy a new car. However, I would eventually get the bug. My freshman year in high school, my Dad was driving me to school, and he pointed out a 1965 Mustang. I only knew enough to say that the car was pretty and old, but my father launched into the story about how the Mustang was based on the Falcon, largely just with a different body. It was then that I realized that every car on the road has a story, and from there, I started reading everything about cars I could.”

 

Contestant 21 writes:

“I wrote the monthly car column for xxxxxxx (yes, we did one) for five years, until it was recently discontinued because every print magazine is now really, really tiny. I’m still on staff there, and ghostwriting for famous people in magazines and books pays my bills. But I would prefer to continue to write about cars under my own name. I’ve been a professional writer for more than 20 years, and I grew up in the industrial midwest working in my dad’s tool and die shop.”

R.O.E.

Above are today’s contestants. Pick them carefully. The top ones will be around for a long time. Here are the Rules of Engagement:

• You are presented with a set of seven writing examples. Their authors haven been carefully anonymized. They have a number instead.
• The top three out of each set of seven receive an entry permit into the rarefied world of TTAC writers. Those who don’t make the grade and who fail in front of our jury will be sold into white slavery, or worse, recommended for the morning shift at Jalopnik. (Inciting voter apathy could mean that all contestants are sold off, we want and keep the winners.)
• The snippets come in the exact order they landed in my mailbox.
• The snippets have been chosen by me, in a very subjective way: By looking quickly at the story, and by picking what stands out.
• You have two votes for each day. Both votes have equal weight. You may not vote more than once per day and set of contestants. Don’t throw away your votes!
• The vote for each set runs until the second set appears. That’s typically for around 24 hours. Vote now, do not procrastinate. Voting for the last set stops when I say so, also typically 24 hours after the last set goes up.

And now, let’s go to the polls! 

(No hanging chads. Don’t mail or phone it in. Read snippets before voting. Vote now.)

You have TWO votes. Place your bets.

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

The winners are Michael Trainor, George William Herbert, and Grant Tillery. TTAC congratulates thee. You shall drop the masks of your screen names, and step out into the harsh lights of the public, and the etching-strength vitriol of TTAC’s feared commentariat.

Previously known as Contestants 4, 7, and 1, the three garnered the lion’s share of the votes in the Monday round of TTAC’s Future Writers Week, where, in true interactive fashion, you decide who will write for you in the future, and whom you will criticize for the biased and one-sided reporting, especially on a slow news-day. It is in your hands, and it will be so for the rest of the week. Remember: Today is another day of the battle of the writers, and another day where you decide the outcome.

Contestants 5, 6, 2, and 3 – do not abandon all hope: The is always a chance to get called upon via the “Editor’s Choice” award, where we apply our usually highly subjective, traditionally biased, and deeply unprofessional criteria. And to those who still are battling writers’ block: The contest is still open, applications are still pouring in. The way it looks, this contest can reach well into next week, even at seven contestants a day. Submission rules are here. Please try to stick to the rules, especially to the part where it says to simply send a note to editors, with “Becoming a TTAC Writer” as the topic. This helps sorting the applications into my proper mailbox. Creative topic writers are subjected to the hazards of spam filters and inattentive Editors. They also may receive a mark on my list, labeling them a potential pain in the neck that doesn’t listen  to directions.

Like everything at TTAC, this contest is not without its critics. Of course, “1 or 2 full length pieces to run per day”, or “one article on TTAC over a period of, let’s say, one year”, or heck, a totally different test that attracts “more women” would be much, much better. I definitely don’t mind more women. The idea of two new writers per day over the next years is as interesting as it is hair-raising. However, this contest is what it is, and we will go with this format until it is over. It will be seven short snippets a day, protestations are futile, run your own contest if you don’t agree, and good luck..

With that said, let’s move on to (drum-roll, please) …

… thank you, maestro.

The TTAC Future Writers – Tuesday Contestants

The rules of engagement remain the same as yesterday, attempts by certain commenters to confuse notwithstanding. The rules are listed again at the bottom of today’s entries. Short form: Read first, vote second.

Contestant 8 writes:

“Consider a new concept to drive traffic… Look at the website ”Bring a Trailer” and imagine taking that to a higher level. I would name the series: BID-SELL-WIN. (BSW) Here is the concept: 1. Post details and pictures about an interesting vehicle that has just been listed on eBay. Have at least 4~6 days of auction duration remaining. 2. Ask two simple questions and talk about it: a) What is the amount that the vehicle will BID to? b) Will it SELL? c) talk about it!BID-SELL-WIN. (BSW)

Contestant 9 writes:

“Yes, I went to a MINI event where MINI was trying to show off MINIs against other cars to demonstrate how the MINI is better and also in order for there to be five “MINI”s in this sentence. No matter, the Countryman outperformed the other two, and that’s that. I can’t pick favourites and I certainly never will, but it was just better. MINI launched the Countryman last year in an efforts to essentially follow Porsche’s shadow with the Cayenne: build something lifted and slap more doors to make it practical.“

Contestant 10 writes:

“Respected technical magazine Popular Mechanics has recognized General Motors and Ford in their annual “Top 10 Tech Breakthroughs” article. The presence of two American automakers on the publication’s list, which reviews innovations in all industries, is impressive and speaks to the continuing turnaround of the American auto industry. GM’s recognition is due to the strides the company has made in the development of affordable crash avoidance technology for passenger vehicles. Using a single camera mounted behind a car’s rearview mirror, the company’s system scans real estate in front of the car resting within a 37 degree field of vision. — I also have my junior and senior year works from my time at Princeton. Marketing the Mustang: A Cultural Perspective (~100 pages) The Import Scene and its Role in the Formation and Expression of Asian-American Masculinity (~200 pages).”

Contestant 11 writes:

“The truth is, no one really cares about SUVs. No one cares about what the appliance can do for you. It’s about what the appliance says about you. To be honest though, I’m really not all to worried about what the woman in the Equinox scarfing down the Micky D’s breakfast burrito thinks about my old Land Cruiser. I finally take a long look at the middle lane. The sea of Nissan crossovers, the Ford crossovers, Highlanders, and Q5s, they all resemble SUVs. Yeah OK, maybe they can get you through the storm with their AWD systems.”

Contestant 12 writes:

“Anyway, after I had one or two articles posted on that site, Jxx Dxxxxx of xxxxx asked if I wanted to write for their site, without pay of course. Once there I created a weekly series called the ”xxxxxxxxxxParking Lot” in which I highlight a car that is not necessarily thought of as a Muscle Car (The Mercury Marauder X-100 for example) and persuade the readership that the car (or Truck for that matter) is a true Muscle Car. By this time, Rxxxxxxx asked if I would write for xxxxxxxxx, as well as do a monthly column for xxxxxxxx Magazine. Many of the articles I produced when I was writing for xxxxxxxxx was some of my best work. I actually was paid for my columns by xxxxxxxx, until they decided to close almost all of their titles.”

 

Contestant 13 writes:

“Everyone’s automotive transportation needs are a Rubik’s Cube puzzle of sorts. It’s easy to solve one side, whether it be the best mileage, best hauling capacity or best to take to the track for the day. But getting two sides solved gets more difficult, with three, four, five, and finally, the whole Cube of automotive desires exponentially harder. The whole cube for many of course, being a RWD, diesel, sport wagon with manual transmission.”

Contestant 14 writes:

“A fast car doesn’t make you a good driver: I don’t think anyone would disagree that a BMW 335i is a fast car. It has a (limited) top speed of 155 and will easily crack off 0-60 in the low 5-second range. Despite those numbers, I still had difficulty passing the 50-passenger tour bus near the Pflanzgarten.”

R.O.E.

Above are today’s contestants. Pick them carefully. The top ones will be around for a long time. Here are the Rules of Engagement:

• You are presented with a set of seven writing examples. Their authors haven been carefully anonymized. They have a number instead.
• The top three out of each set of seven receive an entry permit into the rarefied world of TTAC writers. Those who don’t make the grade and who fail in front of our jury will be sold into white slavery, or worse, recommended for the morning shift at Jalopnik. (Inciting voter apathy could mean that all contestants are sold off, we want and keep the winners.)
• The snippets come in the exact order they landed in my mailbox.
• The snippets have been chosen by me, in a very subjective way: By looking quickly at the story, and by picking what stands out.
• You have two votes for each day. Both votes have equal weight. You may not vote more than once per day and set of contestants. Don’t throw away your votes! On Monday,453 voted, but did cast only 770 votes. OK if some thought no one worthy of a second vote. Not OK of they forgot that they have TWO votes. 
• The vote for each set runs until the second set appears. That’s typically for around 24 hours. Vote now, do not procrastinate. Voting for the last set stops when I say so, also typically 24 hours after the last set goes up.

And now, let’s go to the polls! 

(No hanging chads. Don’t mail or phone it in. Read snippets before voting. Vote now.)

You have TWO votes. Place your bets.

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

Somewhere above the 70th parallel

January is upon us, and with it the seasonal rise in traffic at big car sites such as TTAC. Over the past days, the load on our servers was unseasonably and unreasonably high. My unconfirmed hunch is that it is all the future authors checking their standings. We’ll never know. To address the problem, and hopefully to increase your class-leading browsing experience, the TTAC Geek Squad, billeted in an abandoned NORAD bunker in the darker reaches of Canada, decided to move TTAC to another server.

No doubt, the other server is likewise surplus, but let’s hope it is only lightly loaded. Over a crackling phone line, which similarly stemmed from a time when cars had fins and Finns had no cars, the Geeks promised that the changeover will be “transparent to the user” and that  “no outage is expected while it’s moving/after it moves.”

Putting our destiny in the Geeks’ hands,  I remain your humble servant,

B$%^^^^^^^^^^^^ ……………..

PS: Hours later, a flimsy reached my desk. It said: “DONE STOP DNS PROPAGATING STOP EXPECT PERFORMANCE TO IMPROVE SOON STOP REPLY BY ENDORSEMENT STOP KOJAK STATION OUT”

All seems to be good.  Ducked another one.

It’s TTAC Future Writers Week where YOU decide who will write at TTAC in the future. This could be their first (or last) step on the way to their eventual Pulitzer or Wurlitzer Prize. Please choose wisely, carefully, and fairly. It’s your, the future of several nations, and most of all, the auto industry that is at stake.

Ever since we signaled our readiness to accept a fresh crowd of eager and unpaid writers into the ranks of the TTAC annoited, the applications keep pouring in. I had to solicit the help of a spreadsheet to manage the entries, and I had to ask your help to choose.

This is how it will go down: Each and every day of the week, I will present you a set of seven writing examples. Their authors haven been carefully anonymized. They have a number instead. Each and every day of the week, you can and should cast your vote.

The top three out of each set of seven receive an entry permit into the rarified world of TTAC writers. Those who don’t make the grade and who fail in front of our jury will be sold into white slavery, or worse, recommended for the morning shift at Jalopnik.

The snippets come in no particular order. Actually, they do. They come in the exact order they landed in my mailbox.

The snippets have been chosen by me, in a very subjective way: By looking quickly at the story, and by picking what stands out. A regular reader gives a story even hastier attention. We need to grab the reader and pull him or her in.

You have two votes for each day. Both votes have equal weight. You may not vote more than once per day set of contestants.

The vote for each set runs until the second set appears. That’s typically for around 24 hours. Vote now, do not procrastinate. Voting for the last set stops when I say so, also typically 24 hours after the last set goes up.

Lastly, we have enough contestants to last us all week through Friday. If more submissions appear, we will run the TTAC elections into the weekend. Submission rules are here.

And now, drumroll please, here are …

The TTAC Future Writers – Monday Contestants

Contestant 1 writes:

“One car I keep coming back to, however, is the ’92-’97 Ford Crown Victoria interceptor. I can’t explain my attraction to these cars – they were frequently purchased by white trash after they were decommissioned, and most were subsequently beaten to hell. They’re minimally optioned, and guzzle gas inordinately. The memories and smells of criminals still permeate the backseats, putting a damper on the mood when having car-sex. Yet this is where my Panther platform love begins. In complex times, simple cars like the Crown Vic possess a nostalgic allure. It’s an understated jalopy – it has all the muscle of the great cars of yore, masked by unassuming sheet metal.“

 Contestant 2 writes:

“This quaint roadster’s charm is bolstered by its small, but eager engine. Try prodding a lazier power plant and the resulting sound can be akin to a groan, as if the car is complaining,”Aw, do I have to?” Mash the Miata’s accelerator and the response you’ll hear all the way to its 7,000 rpm redline is,”Oh, hell yes!” That’s not to say that the Miata is a speed demon; it’s not.”

Contestant 3 writes:

“I wouldn’t say that an automatic transmission is necessarily objectively bad in some quantifiable way. Many car enthusiasts prefer manuals for the reasons listed above, and will tell you (because they prefer manuals) that automatics are objectively worse in some way. This isn’t true anymore: modern dual clutch gearboxes and even standard torque converter automatics can shift far more quickly than a human, and the software that they use to predict when to change gear is getting better and better.”

Contestant 4 writes:

“It really is a horrible car, and was from the factory. It was always slow, and 28 years has not been kind to the original engine, transmission, suspension, rear end, body, or interior. I was able to repair the rust, replace the tires, and put a new top on the car before I ran out of money. On the rare occasion I have time to drive it, it flexes and bends, rattles and groans. It’ll do 0-60 in… well.. whenever it damn well feels like it. But it’ll eventually get to 75 and stay there for as long as my intestinal fortitude will allow. It feels like a collision with a Schwinn bicycle will send me to the hospital.”

Contestant 5 writes:

“My automotive purchasing history would suggest that I am biased towards the Japanese brands. I was scarred early in life by a terribly unreliable Renault Fuego Turbo, a K car and a diesel Delta 88. I have not been able to get myself to purchase a Domestic or European vehicle since. I have owned a Mazda 3, Miata, MR2, Maxima, Accord, Civic, G35x, CRV, 4runner(2) and Odyssey. (Not a real popular guy here in Metro Detroit.)”

Contestant 6 writes:

“What happens to a dream deferred? That question, asked by the great poet Langston Hughes, was meant to reflect on the experiences of African Americans in early twentieth century America. But it applies to our featured vehicle today, and the company that created it.“Maybe it just sags like a heavy load. Or does it explode?” The last lines of Hughes work speaks to the odd case of the C-350. At least one person involved with this particular conversion company saw the Ford lineup of the late 80′s and yearned for something more. Something much more, in fact.”

Contestant 7 writes:

“It’s November on the California coast, between the rains. Pismo Beach is far behind us; Monterey still far ahead. The road is HERE, the Pacific Ocean is THERE, right across the southbound lanes, over that little 6-inch-tall rock”barrier” that would give you a good launch before you fell the 400 feet to your crunchy doom. Left-foot-braking, you trail brake into the corner, wide then tightening and then wide onto the gas. And the DSC kicks in, up front, and the line out of the corner isn’t quite what you wanted it to be.”

And now, let’s go to the polls! 

(No hanging chads. Don’t mail or phone it in.  Read snippets before voting. Vote now.)

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

The echo to Writers Wanted was is phenomenal. 22 applications poured in so far, and they still keep coming. I quickly looked over them. Some are good, real good. Some are real funny. Some are funny, even if they are not trying to be funny. YOU will decide who makes the grade.

The submissions not only say a lot about the writing style, they also say a little about the working style. Writers Wanted laid out what we would like to see in a submission. If you are a really super-hot stuntman of a writer, you can break all the rules and just blow them away with your wit. If you are more a Toyota-style of a writer, you check all boxes and convince them with your professionalism and your attention to detail. The absolutely best of course is a super-heated writer genius that also checks all boxes – a very rare occasion, but it happens. Their road to riches is wide open. Never in journalism –  ad agencies look for that type, and if he is mean-spirited enough, he can become an ad executive. Ask me  how I know.

It is not only that many people like you, the readers, want to write for TTAC – thank you. You, the readers will also decide who will finally write for TTAC. It is in your hands, B&B, choose carefully.

Beginning tomorrow and running throughout TTAC’s Future Writers Week, we will give you  anonymized short samples of each writer, and an opportunity to vote. The top votes will become TTAC writers. (If they still want after this ordeal.)  Even if one is not chosen by TTAC’s B&B, there still is as chance to make the grade. TTAC’s Editors will choose their own Editors’ Choice.

Asking friends, families, or Twitter and Facebook friends to stuff the ballot boxes on your behalf of course is strictly verboten, and will result in instant disqualification if we find out.  But then, getting away with it is one of the ingredients of a good journalist.

TTAC has always been proud of the quality of its writers. Founder Farago did set a very high standard. His wit was lethal at TTAC, he had a killer instinct for a good story, he was dead on target with GM. Knowing that, the fact that he now writes Thetruthaboutguns.com has me mildly worried. TTAC turned into a flow-heater for successful careers. We had Brock Yates , before he chose a better paid career in screenwriting and television. We had Jonny Lieberman, who, after a stint at Jalopnik, found his calling at Motor Trend. Ed went to The Dark Side. If you want to make TTAC a stepping stone in your career, or if you simply love to write, then let’s talk about it.

How to start

Most writers at TTAC start as readers. Great examples are Phil Coconis, the Sutherland Brothers, Doug DeMuro, even myself.

Like you, I read and occasionally commented on TTAC. My checkered career as a TTAC writer started, if I can recall right, in 2008 with a very odd-ball article. Robert Farago liked a strange story about Chinese wet nurses who could buy cars in cash earned from breastfeeding other people’s babies, and he ran it. It (the writing) turned into a regular gig, also because, as Farago said, “the price was right.” I wrote for free.

For me, writing was a recreational drug. Free drugs, not bad. I needed a distraction from my job of running a fledgling multinational, and later I needed a distraction from the thankless task of burning through a few million of VC money (including mine, the VC guys love to ask for a “good faith” contribution). I stopped writing when Farago left. At zero pay, it was easy to show solidarity. It was also the time when the furiously blinking end of the runway of the VC-funded company grew bigger and bigger in my windshield.

How I broke my own embargo

After not paying me for years, gutsy Farago asked me for money and to buy TTAC. Instead, I went on strike with him. Truth be told, I was burned-out even more than Farago, I wanted to focus on my new, young, beautiful, and sexy wife, and retire for the second time. We just weren’t sure whether retirement would be in a beach house in Bali, or in the tranquil clubs of downtown Tokyo.

Then the phone rang, and it was Niedermeyer the younger. Other than his father, who is a cranky old grouch, Ed Niedermeyer was, is, and will always be an all-around nice guy with a sharp wit, and an even sharper pen. How could I say no to him when he asked me to write again? He offered me money. I would have done it without money, but since he offered it, I took it. It wasn’t much, and that remained a tradition at TTAC. As opposed to running an offshore powerboat race team that sucks money faster than gas, or a company that had been, along with the check, given a 1 in 15 chance of success by its cheerful investors, the small and sometimes erratic transfers from TTAC at least paid taxi fares, and , after quite a while, a new knock-off laptop, bought in a multi-storey Beijing computer market. (<= Never write like this, unless your name is Thomas Mann.)

The rest is history. I advanced from overseas to managing to editor in chief. Which goes to show that with a lot of patience, persistence, and resistance to pain, even a pro bono job can eventually turn into a career. A small one, at least. Remember: In war,  most promotions are the battlefield kind, but you need to be in the trenches for it to happen.

So, do you still want to write for TTAC?

If you want to write for TTAC, then simply send a note to editors, use “Becoming a TTAC Writer” as the topic, include your screen name, and ideally two or three paragraphs of your writing. If it’s good, you’ll hear from us. If it isn’t, silence is golden.

We also are always interested in exchanges with other sites that can use the traffic. Great TTAC writers such as Matt Gasnier, Tycho de Feyter, and Faisal Ali Khan started that way.

This was all about how to write for TTAC. Here is a sure-fire way of how not to write for TTAC: Bombard us with appeals for guest bloggings, sponsored content etc. In the beginning, we answered a few, and what came back was absolutely atrocious.

Now, the messages automatically land in the delete file.

The gang at TTAC wishes all its readers a happy and prosperous New Year. May it bring you all the new cars you wish, and may it have mercy on your old ones.

For those who are keeping track of my movements: This is reaching you from China where it is Western New Year,  12 hours ahead of the East Coast,  and where it won’t be official New Year until February 10th. A week from now, the Schmitts will change their location to Tokyo, where it is New Year an hour ahead of Western New Year in China. Are we confused yet?

Let’s make this a TTAC New Year around the world … if you have nothing better to do.

We are enjoying our mini bridge here at TTAC, and will be back in full force on January 2nd.

The team at TTAC, wherever it may be, wishes you the best of all holidays.

As we are often accused of being pro-import, we honor an age-old European tradition: “The bridge.”

In Europe, this is when you take only a handful working days off to turn Christmas and New Year into a two-week vacation, which you spend in the Maldives, or in Phuket (because of the ancient temples…) At TTAC, we make it a mini-bridge, taking it easy until New Year. If and when there are major news, we will cover them. In the new  year, we will be back in full force.

It’s beginning to look at lot like than unmentionable holiday period, except where I am at the moment. But even in heathen China, the restaurant was full with cute waitresses with even cuter Santa hats today. Air China treated me to the full panoply of You-Know-What carols, from “O Come All Ye Faithful” all the way to “Silent Night”. It’s a strange world where one must fly to a communist country to hear “O Christmas Tree” without recrimination.

This being an international site, with readers and editors in all corners of the world, we celebrate this occasion in our traditional nondenominational style.

The editors of Thetruthaboutcars wish our readers a joyous Constitution Day in Micronesia, a roaring Santuranticuy in Peru, a happy Stedry den in the Czech Republic, we wish you cheerful Las Posadas in Mexico, a red, white, and blue Washington’s Birthday in the US, and a red-on-white Emperor’s Birthday in Japan. Happy Fete des Membres to our friends in Haiti, a crackling Constitution Day in Taiwan, and whatever you do on Family Day in Angola. We celebrate Jinnah’s Birthday with our friends in Pakistan and Annual Sports Day with our two readers in the Falkland Islands. Our gloves come off for Boxing Day, and back on for the Day of Goodwill in South Africa. We wish a rowdy Junkanoo to our island buddies. Y’all have a splendid St. Stephen’s Day, and may you enjoy whatever one does on a Zartusht – No – Diso.

We also wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Over and between the holidays, our usual high volume reporting will slow to a festive trickle. There isn’t much news anyway at that time. If there are monstrous news, we’ll set down the eggnog and write about it. Our friends in Germany and elsewhere in Europe are already enjoying the perfect present from the calendar: Two weeks of holidays by taking just five days off.

After we have recovered, we will hit the new year with verve. I will convince Frau Schmitto-san that it is still way too iffy for a Japanese National to be in China, and we will go back to Tokyo to cover the insanities of the Tokyo Auto Salon. Think SEMA Dekotora-style, and you will be halfway there. Derek will trade frigid Toronto with longjohn Detroit and cover the Detroit Auto Show.

And before we forget: This month is Stress Free Family Holiday Month, along with Drunk and Drugged Driving Prevention Month: We want you all back, safe, sound, and witty as ever in the new year.

Shaikh Jalal Ahmad wrote a very informative series on car suspensions. Sgeffe called it “an interesting (and timely) series.” Felix Hoennikker could not “wait for the next one.” JuniperBug welcomed the series from  “a highly respected suspension tuner/builder.” But it takes only one drunk or rude guest to ruin a whole party. We are about to lose a valuable and knowledgeable contributor, just because commenters forgot their manners.

Willman wrote something that would have triggered a very robust response would he have said it in my face.

I would like to direct your attention to TTAC’s Commenting Policy, which states:

There are two very simple guiding rules to commenting on TTAC

1. When commenting, picture yourself being invited to a dinner party with a roomful of strangers. You probably will not attack or insult the host, or the other guests. You will get annoyed by rude and uncivilized guests. You will understand that the host will not invite people back who violate simple rules of civility. Attacking the host could mean an end of the dinner before deserts are served.
2. You have a right to your opinion, you are immediately wrong if you are rude. Rude, uncivilized remarks mean an immediate loss of the argument. They also can mean a loss of commenting privileges.

For those who need extra amplification, it says:

“No personal attacks on other commenters or TTAC authors. Disagreement is no attack, name calling is. You may make a robust argument, but you may not insult the other person. To provide for a safe workplace for TTAC authors, there are increased standards. “

We will not tolerate the abuse of our authors. Willman has been banned for violating a simple, and clearly stated rule of TTAC.  I apologize for the rude and uncivilized behavior of a TTAC commenter. Please note that this is not about what you say. It is strictly about how you say it. Commenters have a right to their opinion, and we will fight for that right. There is no right to a lack of manners.

Many years ago, when I was a partner in a Madison Avenue ad agency, our client Swissair asked us to come up with an ad that asked affluent American Express holders to do their Christmas shopping in Zurich, Switzerland. I wrote “Merry Swissmas” on a sheet of paper. My Art Director Juergen Dahlen  came up with a picture. It was pasted on foamcore, was run over to the Swissair offices and met with applause. Two weeks later, I had a lady from American Express on the line.

“Christmas! You can’t say that!”

“It’s Swissmas.”

“Come on, I know what you wanted to say.”

“So, what should I say?”

“You know. Happy holidays.”

“Alright. I’ll change the headline to Merry Swolidays.”

“You are kidding me.”

I picked up the phone and called Swissair. They could not believe it. Enraged, they called up Amex and called off the promotion.

This was some twenty years ago, and matters did not improve ever since.  Says the American Thinker:

“Under the guise of being sensitive to “feelings,” political correctness has succeeded in effectively censoring any uncomfortable “truths” that do not comport with liberal orthodoxy.”

“Political correctness is an approved form of censorship.  Based on emotional appeals at the expense of reason, political correctness mandates that inconvenient truths or facts be swept under the carpet.  Or else. Free speech, guaranteed to all Americans under the First Amendment, is on its way to becoming moot.”   

In fulfilling its mandate, TTAC steps on sensitivities all day long. Truth hurts, especially feelings. By now, TTAC must have hurt the sensitivities of just about any car owner, we have been accused of being biased against domestics and imports, our choice of pictures provides never-ending fuel for flames.

Would we listen to it, we probably would be flamed for delivering a bland appliance blog.  If hurt feelings would stop us from writing, then we would have closed TTAC long ago. We won’t. Attempts to censor TTAC will receive the cold shoulder. Incessant attempts will be met with a ban.

While on the subject, allow me to draw attention to TTAC’s commenting policy.

The policy expressly disallows hate speech, “racism, sexism and homophobia.”

The policy also disallows ‘what not to write’ requests. TTAC editors choose what to write and what not to write, just like TTAC readers choose what to read and what not to read.

Likewise, the policy disallows interference with administrative actions: “Backtalk after an administrative action usually means a quick end to a commenter’s career on TTAC.” And: “If you write ‘I will probably get banned for this,’  you probably will.”

The policy disallows threats.

When a thread gets closed, it is because flames already were too high, and to avoid a spreading to other parts of TTAC. Hijacking of other threads in order to continue the flaming is disrespectful to other commenters, it also interferes with an explicit administrative action.

Several of these policies were ignored yesterday.  A warning was issued, the FAQ was pointed out. After the warning, one commenter violated several of these policies in the course of four lines. This commenter is no longer with us.

This commenter threatened to complain to TTAC’s parent company. While anyone is free to complain anywhere, it should be known that TTAC thoroughly enjoys full editorial freedom. Nobody of TTAC’s owners has ever told us what to write and what not to write. Which sets them apart from some commenters.