By on August 20, 2010

The man on the other end of the phone was the “Wheels” editor for the Smallville Citizen-Journal and he was furious. There was no Mythos RoadSquisher SUV in his driveway! His press car had not been delivered! Instead, there was an email at the top of his in-box explaining that the journalist who had been driving the Mythos the previous week had crashed it, along with an assurance that he would be rescheduled for the next available vehicle as soon as possible.

“You stupid bitch,” he screamed into the phone, “what the f— do you think I’m going to drive this week?” My friend, a pert young woman who works for one of the major press-car agencies, was flabbergasted.

“Sir, if you drive your own car for a few days, we will make sure to get you—” The volume on the other end went up another notch.

“I DON’T OWN A CAR, YOU IGNORANT STINKING C–T! GET ME A CAR NOW! TODAY! OR FIND ANOTHER JOB WHERE YOU CAN SUCK C–K ALL DAY LONG!”

“Sir, what can I do, the fleet is completely empty—”

“GET UP AND WALK YOUR DIRTY WHORE ASS TO THE AIRPORT RENTAL COUNTER AND GET ME A CAR! AND HAVE IT DELIVERED! IN THE NEXT TWO HOURS!” And that, my friends, is exactly what she did.
(Read More…)

Recent Comments

  • Re: Reader Review: 2014 Cadillac ATS

    sportyaccordy - The BMW 3.0T is one of the greatest engines of all time, and is way better than any of the ATS’ options. The less-than-BMW dynamics can be fixed with...
  • Re: Junkyard Find: 2001 Pontiac Aztek AWD

    JohnnyFirebird - I was at an auction in Montreal last winter and an Aztek with 240,000 kilometers got, I believe, $800. And exterior-wise it wasn’t rough at all.
  • Re: Bark’s Bites: Viva La Fiesta!

    FreedMike - Yeah, except…winter tires are a pain.
  • Re: Wilson: $8B Stock Buyback Would Boost General Motors’ Value

    jacob_coulter - If they have the means for an $8 billion dollar stock buy back, how come they don’t have the funds to pay back their...
  • Re: Junkyard Find: 2001 Pontiac Aztek AWD

    JohnnyFirebird - My Volvo customers aren’t this interesting.
  • Re: Reader Review: 2014 Cadillac ATS

    DeadWeight - BS. They do not “happen” on all makes. Sonata? Accord? Camry? Lexus anything? MB C Class? Fusion? BMW 3 Series? NOPE. Audi A4? S4? Not even a VW...
  • Re: Generation Why: I Want My S16

    bball40dtw - I enjoy the ecoboost engines when they are uprated, top trim engines with a performance spin. As volume engines, I don’t find the four cylinder ecoboost...
  • Re: Bark’s Bites: Viva La Fiesta!

    FractureCritical - I’m probably one of the few here that have actually done what you’re talking about and seriously weighed the ST brothers against more...
  • Re: Generation Why: I Want My S16

    mnm4ever - @krhodes – I feel like you do, to me the Mustang feels huge compared to a BMW 2-series or even the 3-series, even though by dimensions I don’t think...
  • Re: Generation Why: I Want My S16

    EAF - I have a GS-T that I daily drive, wanna race for slips? Your brother’s VW, you can bring him too. Ohhh yea I’m stock btw. :) RWD + TURBO = HELL of a lot of...

New Car Research

Get a Free Dealer Quote

Staff

  • Contributing Writers

  • Jack Baruth, United States
  • Brendan McAleer, Canada
  • Marcelo De Vasconcellos, Brazil
  • Vojta Dobes, Czech Republic
  • Matthias Gasnier, Australia
  • W. Christian 'Mental' Ward, Abu Dhabi
  • Mark Stevenson, Canada
  • Cameron Aubernon, United States
  • J Emerson, United States