The Truth About Cars » fascism The Truth About Cars is dedicated to providing candid, unbiased automobile reviews and the latest in auto industry news. Mon, 28 Jul 2014 13:00:51 +0000 en-US hourly 1 The Truth About Cars is dedicated to providing candid, unbiased automobile reviews and the latest in auto industry news. The Truth About Cars no The Truth About Cars (The Truth About Cars) 2006-2009 The Truth About Cars The Truth About Cars is dedicated to providing candid, unbiased automobile reviews and the latest in auto industry news. The Truth About Cars » fascism “Distracted Driving” Joins The Ranks Of Primary Offenses In Virginia Fri, 05 Apr 2013 16:17:05 +0000

In a move that will undoubtedly create a flood of profitable tickets save uncounted lives, Virginia has made “distracted driving” a primary offense and raised the fines to the proverbial ceiling.

If you’re confused as to what a “primary offense” might be, toss me some click love and check it out. Virginia’s governor is expected to sign legislation that will add so-called distracted driving to the list.

Sen. George Barker (D-Alexandria) says he has been trying to get a bill passed on this topic for a number of years, after students from Centreville High School brought the issue to his attention.

“I’m very pleased, because this is an extraordinarily dangerous activity,” Barker says. “The accident rate is 23 times the rate for people that are texting compared to people that aren’t, which is a phenomenal differential. It clearly will save lives.”

Look for the “23 times” factoid to be repeated again and again everywhere until people unquestioningly accept it. That number comes from a six-month survey of truck drivers and has been ruthlessly expanded to include everyone and everything humanly possible. Never mind the fact that operating a long-haul truck in urban environments is significantly more difficult and physically involved than driving a car. Never mind the fact that in modern traffic, commercial trucks are already unable to brake and maneuver well enough to avoid accidents. Never mind the fact that young people are far more adept at texting than your average career trucker. It’s a fact now and you might as well accept it.

Your humble author is of the opinion that legislation like this leads to surreptitious texting with one’s phone tucked beneath the line of sight in the car. That behavior significantly increases the danger of texting while driving and to encourage people to engage in it just so a few tickets can be written trades public safety for public revenue. Texting while driving is not going to go away. Not now and not for a very long time. It is the preferred communication method of everybody under the age of thirty and everybody’s going to keep doing it. Period. Point blank.

I would suggest that the texting-and-driving hysteria we’re seeing now as a society is as outsized as it is for one simple reason: people just love to be Puritans about something and we live in a world now where it’s no longer acceptable to have any public views about sexual behavior or common decency besides those once held by Ol’ Little Roman Boots. Since the Puritanical impulse is likely genetic in nature and it is one of the reasons your Cro-Magnon ancestor survived while his neighbor died in an ill-fated attempt to reproduce with a tribe of bonobos, it’s hard to completely suppress it. Instead, we swallow those feelings and let them fester until one day we are busy nonjudgmentally watching “Glee” and we see a public-service ad about texting and driving and it erupts from our stomachs in a bile-covered, steel-toothed xenomorphic presence OMG SOMETHING MUST BE DONE BLEEEEARRRRRRGH.

An exceptionally paranoid individual, which I am emphatically not or at least emphatically not really, might also wonder if the Illuminati think this: By removing all sorts of potential distractions from driving and forcing us to stare straight ahead at the stopped bumper of the Escalade in front of us, possibly with the aid of those hold-the-eyelids-open apparatus they used on Malcolm McDowell, the misery of operating a privately-owned vehicle might possibly be ratcheted up to the point where we will cheerfully accept being herded onto filthy cattle cars and shipped to our destinations in the most climate-friendly way possible. Just forget I said anything about it, though, because I’m not paranoid.

What I am, however, is someone who enjoys texting the finest-looking women available at all times. So if you see me rolling my Town Car down the street, chances are I’m texting somebody. But from now on, I’m going to wear sunglasses and hold my phone under the beltline, so you can’t tell for sure. If you have complaints about that, send them to your local legislator.

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This Aggression Will Not Stand, Man: Portland Declares War On Working Panthers Fri, 27 Apr 2012 14:37:41 +0000

The Portland city council two years ago put in place regulations that force limousine and sedan services to charge a $50 minimum for rides to and from the airport, and at least 35 percent more than taxis for trips to any other destination. And these transportation companies cannot pick up customers until at least an hour after the customer calls for a ride… “The main thing is that you don’t want the Town Cars to take all of the best fares, which are to the airport, and not leave any for the taxi industry,” [a city official] said. “That’s why there’s a minimum fare and a one-hour wait requirement.”

That’s right: the city of Portland is attacking the Lincoln Town Car, by name, in legislation and public speech. To the diminishing community of people in the United States who give a damn about the so-called “Constitution”, that’s called a “bill of attainder”. Nor is it empty talk: the city recently fined $635,500. Why?

According to The Weekly Standard, two sedan services, and Fiesta Limousine, had the nerve to offer “Groupons” for service last year. The city responded by throwing down six-figure fines on both companies, which then had to nullify the Groupons or go bankrupt as a consequence.

Is that even legal? These people say “No!”:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Regardless of the legal implications, however, a few facts are clear:

  • Some company out there has the kick-ass domain name,
  • The city of Portland is speaking out against Town Cars.
  • The Town Car is the most American car of all time, notwithstanding the inconvenient detail that it was temporarily assembled in the 52nd state of Ontario for a few years.
  • Speaking out against the Town Car is basically the same as speaking out against America.
  • Which makes the Portland City Council terrorists.
  • This means that, under recent legislation passed while you were all watching the media shooooping George Zimmerman’s face to look whiter, President Obama can authorize remote drone killings of the Portland City Council, without “due process” or any of that other hippie/teabagger crap.
  • But one drone might not be enough to do it.
  • But, given the enthusiastic way the government has interpreted the interstate-commerce clause, surely “drone killing” can be expanded to “ICBM launch”.

That’s right. If Portland doesn’t stop persecuting Town Cars, it may be necessary — patriotic, even — to nuke Portland. However, once the announcement is made that Portland is being nuked, local TTAC readers may want to call a taxi to take you to the airport, since the Town Cars have to wait a mandatory hour before picking you up.

Thanks to TTAC reader “Curvy McLegalbriefs” for the heads-up on this one!

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Hammer Time: Fascism on Four Wheels Fri, 23 Sep 2011 10:43:20 +0000

“We just got cited Steve.” My wife had called me and sounded as confused as could be.


“Something about Code 2009… I can’t read this… hold on…”

“Honey? What the hell does that mean?”

It turns out that I had been cited for a truly heinous and despicable act. Parking my own car on my own driveway. Some misguided jackass (we’ll just call her Jacqueline) had decided to inform me that my car, the Barnacle Bitch, was now a flagrant violator of the county’s brand new law.

Here is what it stated:

Cobb county code. 2009-01643 Section (134-272 (5) b & c

Vehicles may not be parked in the grass or unimproved surface between the roadway and the home’s front setback. In the R-30, R-20, R-15, R-12, RD, RA-4, RA-5 zoned districts, parking allows only one vehicle, one boat, and one recreational vehicle (or any combination of such totaling three) in the rear or side yard on a hardened surface. In the R-40, R-80, RR zoned districts, any combination of boats and recreational vehicles exceeding three must be screened from public roadways via a buffer (approved by the Cobb County Landscape Architect) or fencing. No materials, equipment or business vehicles may be stored or parked on the premises, except for one business vehicle used exclusively by the resident. A business vehicle with a manufacturer’s gross vehicle weight greater than 12,500 pounds are not allowed to be parked on residential property.

What it boiled down to was this. I could now park my car on the street, in a garage, or even at the rear or side of my yard on a ‘hardened surface’. But a driveway? A paved surface specifically designed for parking cars? No! Nein! Nyet! Not in this county, buster!

But wait… wasn’t this a ‘violation’ for two business vehicles? There had been only one there.

I called code enforcement. No response. Just an eternal hold followed by a voice mail. After three days of unreturned messages and interminal holds, I decided to get a bit more serious.

I drove to their office. It was an interesting experience to say the least. Two brand new ‘Code Enforcement’ cruisers were parked in front. Thick glass partitioned the ‘county resident’ from the ‘county official’ and surprisingly, no one was there. Or so it seemed.

I knocked on the glass. Not a sound. Not a peep. After about five minutes of waiting I opened the exit door and closed it. Not leaving. Just waiting for the obvious. Within five seconds two heads popped up.

I laughed. VERY Loud! So loud that the two hopeless drones couldn’t help but look in my direction. After a brief discussion of seniority, one rolled her eyes and went towards the front counter.

“Can I help you?’

“Yes, what does THIS mean?” I gave her the citation.

“I don’t know. Ms. Jacqueline is the one who issued it. You may want to call and leave a message.”

“I did that. You ignored it.”

“I did not ignore it!”

“Exactly who picks up those messages then?”

“Della Carver. She is in charge of this department.”

“Well, I guess I need to speak to her then.”

(another rolling of the eyes) “Hold on!”

I wait 5 minutes… 10 minutes… 15 minutes..

“Helllo!!! Wakee Wakee! THUD! THUD! THUD! I need to pick up a dead parrot before 6:00 P.M. today so would you KINDLY inform the queen of my presence!”

No response…

“OK. Then if you chose not to respond I have no choice but to sing!”

“Oh say can you see! By-y-yai-yai the dawns early light! What so PROOOUUUUD-leee…”

“Sir! She will be right with you!”

“Tell that to my dead parrot!”

A few minutes later… a new person comes to greet me.

“Hi. How can I help you.?”

“Hi there. I have just been cited for parking my own car on my own driveway.” I give her the citation.

“Oh. Hmmm… yes it is against the law to park more than one business vehicle at your property.”

But I only had one vehicle? It’s a Mercedes. It can’t be that bad! Didn’t we win the war?”

“I’m sorry?”

“The code clearly states that one business vehicle can be parked on my property. I had only one vehicle there.”

“You will need to talk to the judge about that?”

“Come again?”

“You will get a letter in the mail stating the date of your hearing.”

“That’s insane! You’re actually criminalizing me for parking my own car on my own driveway?”

It didn’t get better from there. After dealing with a “Who’s on first?” styled debate for fifteen minutes about what the law meant, I was done.

Unfortunately ‘they’ weren’t. First on the agenda? Screwing around with the evidence of course!


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