The Truth About Cars » Caint Git Bayou The Truth About Cars is dedicated to providing candid, unbiased automobile reviews and the latest in auto industry news. Wed, 16 Jul 2014 04:01:57 +0000 en-US hourly 1 The Truth About Cars is dedicated to providing candid, unbiased automobile reviews and the latest in auto industry news. The Truth About Cars no The Truth About Cars (The Truth About Cars) 2006-2009 The Truth About Cars The Truth About Cars is dedicated to providing candid, unbiased automobile reviews and the latest in auto industry news. The Truth About Cars » Caint Git Bayou And the Real Winner Is… Sun, 14 Aug 2011 18:02:16 +0000 In the LeMons world, the Index of Effluency is the Holy Grail, the elusive prize that makes teams ditch their RX-7s and E30s and install cages in the likes of Hillman Minxes and Pontiac Executive wagons. You get the IOE by turning many, many more laps than anyone ever imagined your car could do, and we’ve never had an easier IOE decision than the selection of today’s winner: the Swamp Thang 1978 Ford Granada coupe.
My personal history with the Granada taught me that this is one of the worst cars that Detroit grunted out during the Malaise Era (despite being the direct descendant of the reasonably reliable early-60s Fairlane), and the Swamp Thang’s 302-cubic-inch V8 wasn’t really much of an upgrade over the base 250 six. This Granada ran fine from green to checkered, knocking out slow-but-steady laps all night long. Every bushing in the suspension was completely shot, calls to the engine room for more power produced zero results, and the rock-hard tires never found any purchase on Circuit Grand Bayou’s racing surface… but in the end, the old Ford won both its class (C) and the top prize of the race.
Adding a note of extra drama to the proceedings, Unununium Legend of LeMons Spank was an arrive-and-drive member of the team, which gives him an all-time-LeMons-record four Index of Effluency awards. Spank himself feels that, since he didn’t help build the car, he doesn’t deserve IOE honors, but I disagree. Either way, an impressive accomplishment for the team. Congratulations, Swamp Thangs!

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And the Winner Is… Sun, 14 Aug 2011 17:44:22 +0000 The formula for taking the win on laps at a 24 Hours of LeMons race remains the same regardless of whether a race has a Sears-Point-bulging-at-seams 170 cars… or 20, as was the case at this weekend’s swampy, sweaty Cain’t Git Bayou event: you have a team stacked with drivers who turn consistent quick laps, your car never breaks, and your drivers never get black-flagged. Driving a Mazda (which, in my opinion, is the most reliable LeMons marque) certainly doesn’t hurt. Team Hong Norrth stuck with the plan that got them two wins earlier in the year, and now they’ve just grabbed their third LeMons Overall Win trophy in 2011.
Things weren’t always so rosy for Hong Norrth (formerly known as Hong Norr). They campaigned this reliability-challenged CRX for a couple of years, winning the Heroic Fix trophy for performing a probably-never-will-be-topped record five engine swaps during the course of a single race weekend. The Honda was a bit quicker than their MX-3, but the Mazda keeps all its connecting rods inside the engine.
This bunch has become the team to beat in the ’11 LeMons season. Congratulations, Hong Norrth!

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Cain’t Git Bayou: Granada Still Running, MX-3 Leads Sun, 14 Aug 2011 02:42:46 +0000 I must admit that I assumed the first-ever Ford Granada in LeMons history would fall apart on the track within minutes of the green flag, but the Swamp Thang is still groaning around the course after nearly two hours.
Meanwhile, the two-time LeMons South winners of Hong Norrth Racing are sitting in the overall lead. With 12 hours to go, however, no lead is safe.

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Mudbugs, Gators, and a Granada: BS Inspections at the 24 Hours of LeMons New Orleans Sat, 13 Aug 2011 23:05:14 +0000 I’m back on the LeMons trail again, this time at Circuit Grand Bayou aka No Problem Raceway in lovely Belle Rose, Louisiana. It’s so hot and swampy here in August that we’re running the race from 8:00 PM to 10:00 AM, making it more like the 14 hours of LeMons. It’s all sugar cane fields, bugs, sweat, and excellent Cajun cuisine here, and we’re having a great time.
So many weak-kneed racers are scared of Louisiana in August that we’ve got only about 20 super-hard-core teams that showed up for this one. The teams that are here tend to be the never-say-die type, and that’s what we’re seeing with this Prelude team; they spun a rod bearing in their engine during practice yesterday, so they promptly went out and found a running Ford Tempo for 200 bucks on Craigslist. At this moment, they’ve got a replacement engine (of dubious provenance) on the way from Houston, but if it’s no good they’ll be swapping the cage from the Prelude into the Tempo. How hard could it be?
No Problem is definitely the top LeMons track when it comes to pit cuisine; racers have brought us crawfish, ribs, barbecued chicken, and the best boudin sausage we’ve ever tasted. The Southern Comfort and cracklins are for emergency use only.
Of the Index of Effluency contenders, the obvious favorite is this ’78 Ford Granada coupe, aka the Swamp Thang.
The team hails from “Bayou Self,” Louisiana.
Wait, who’s this guy? Yes, Unununium Legend of LeMons Spank has flown out from San Diego to help drive the Granada; after fellow Unununium Legend Speedycop flew from Maryland to California to drive at the Arse Sweat-a-Palooza, we’re seeing a very pleasing trend here.
Because we have the smallest turnout in LeMons history at this race, I decided to make a special LeMons Supreme Court “Bribed” stencil. That way, the 100 teams that show up at the next Houston race can turn green and yellow with envy when they see this super-exclusive collector’s-item stencil on the competition.
Speaking of envy, there’s a certain Motor Trend editor who wishes he’d decided to judge this race, now that he’s seen the diecast Isetta bribe that could have been his.
The favorite for the win on laps has to be the two-time-winning Hong Norr Mazda MX-3 team… but a lot can happen on a LeMons track. Check in later for race updates!

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