A piece in Bloomberg that could hardly be seen as anything but relentless Detroit homerism puts forward the thesis that cutting-edge design is helping Detroit capture increasing market share in a white hot new car market. Per Bloomberg

From the fires of Detroit’s descent into near-death, GM, Ford and Chrysler Group LLC have forged some of the most distinctive designs since tail fins were soaring in the halcyon days of the postwar-era. Models such as GM’s Cadillac ATS sports sedan, Ford’s Fusion family car and Chrysler’s Jeep Grand Cherokee are turning heads and stoking sales.

On the strength of stylish new showroom offerings, GM, Ford and Chrysler all gained market share in the first quarter for the first time in 20 years. Meanwhile, Toyota Motor Corp. (7203)’s staid standard-bearer, the Camry, has endured three months of declining sales as the automaker ceded U.S. share this year.

Rather than single out Detroit as the object of my scorn, I will say that we are far from a golden age of car design, and that sentiment transcends vehicle nationalities. Safety regulations, CAFE and a relentless focus on fuel economy have made most cars look utterly homogenous; nearly all sedans are some variation of the reverse teardrop shape, while crossovers, tall wagons and SUVs blend into the same amorphous two-box conformity. There are a few standouts these days and Detroit seems to have a disproportionate share of them; the Jeep Cherokee (which is distinctive if nothing else), the Jaguar F-Type, the Chrysler 300. The Ford Mustang will sadly be turned into another organic blob as the Blue Oval prepares it for sale in Europe and other world markets. The new Cadillac CTS is a wonderful execution of the concepts expressed in the ATS, but at a price point that’s off-limits to many of us. But by and large, it is getting harder and harder to tell one car from another.

Bloomberg pays particular attention to the Ford Fusion, the 4th best selling car as of April 2013. Even so it is still being beaten by three dull-looking Japanese cars; the Camry, Accord and Altima. Cadillac is resorting to incentives to push the ATS, a car that was already the subject of more Bloomberg  boosterism and the Jeep Grand Cherokee, despite being a lovely SUV in every single respect, is not exactly a ground breaking design. Hell, the consistently criticized Chevrolet Malibu is currently ranked tenth in the sales charts despite being panned by just about everybody who fancies themselves an armchair Adrian van Hooydonk.

There are many factors driving the growth of domestic auto sales; the need to replace an aging vehicle fleet, the expansion of subprime financing on the part of certain manufacturers and of course, the general competitiveness of a wide number of American cars. But to suggest that we are in a “Golden Age” of design not seen since the 1960s – a truly superlatve era for automotive design in America - is an absolute farce.

Cadillac may be gunning too hard for Germany’s domain of rear-drive sports sedans, but one area where The Standard of the World won’t be gunning for them is in the volume race. GM CFO Dan Ammann told Automotive News that unlike BMW, Mercedes-Benz and Audi, ”We’re not going to be in every single segment that they’re in”.

“In some ways, I think that not having the pressure to sell the last incremental car at whatever cost … is actually not a bad place to be right now. Continuing to move down price points, and microsegmentation of all of these little categories, all seems to be driven by a sort of volume-at-all-costs mentality,” Ammann said. “What that does long term for brand health I think remains to be seen.”

Now, it’s true that Cadillac is working with a different set of circumstances than the Germans. For one, its product and sales base is much smaller than globally-integrated German luxury marques. And frankly, Cadillac should expand a little if it wants to make a real run at Europe and China. A small crossover to compete against the Audi Q3 wouldn’t be a bad idea, along with a brand new Cadillac SRX.

On the other hand, I’m glad that Ammann feels no need to pursue this strategy of going for every last niche. In the long run, I think it will do some damage to luxury brands if they keep moving too down market, as their premium position will be diluted by making the brand too accessible. Europe is plagued by a declining car market, an aging population and a lost generation of young consumers. Their auto makers have to do something to make their products accessible to the next generation. Like Jaguar Land Rover, Cadillac isn’t as exposed to these problems as Europe’s auto makers. Their big markets (the United States and China, India and the UK for JLR) have both economics and demographics on their side. Refraining from the “volume or bust” mindset is a luxury they can afford to indulge in.

There are bad ideas, there are terrible ideas, and then there’s the transverse V-8 drivetrain. There’s just something comically pathetic about having eight cylinders sitting sideways in the front of a car. The Eldorado you see above and its predecessors didn’t suffer from that; they had the engine pointing the right way so you could open the sharply-creased hood and see a proper mechanical vista. In those cars, and in the Toronado, front-wheel-drive was a nifty engineering trick for low-speed traction and a flat floor so all three of your bitches could sit in the back of your pimpmobile without discomfort.

The transverse V-8, however, was something else. It reeked of cost-cutting, of easy assembly, of last-minute decisions to add a decent engine to a middling platform. With very few exceptions, it’s been a lousy idea. And yet there were two vehicle platforms that had not one, but two completely different V-8s installed in them. One of them, of course, was the Cadillac E/K-platform, which shouldered the load of both 4.9-liter OHV and Northstar DOHC engines in the Eldorado, Seville, and Deville/DTS. (Arguably, the E/K was similar enough to the G-body that one could add the Aurora “Shortstar” to the mix for a total of three difference V-8s.)

And the other? Make your guess and click the jump.

Why, it was the Ford DN101!

Your humble author was in the business of selling the third-generation Taurus SHO, which featured an absolutely pointless and thoroughly gutless Yamaha V-8. In a straight line, the SHO was barely any quicker than the three-liter Duratec Taurus and considerably less sprightly than the previous-gen V-6 stick-shift SHO. It had special ZF steering, so it was pleasant to drive, and its full complement of features made it kind of a left-field entry into the entry-luxury class. But it wasn’t very fast. If you wanted a fast Taurus you had to go across the street.

DN101 also spawned the Continental, which had a detuned, 260-horsepower “InTech” mod-motor V-8, later bumped up to 270hp during a facelift. For years, Mustang guys have been pulling these engines out of junkyard Continentals, hoping they’ll drop into V-6 SN95 platforms, but so far it hasn’t worked out. There’s a missing motor mount and the bellhousing pattern is different. It wasn’t a horrible car, and it could apparently be coaxed into running a very high fourteen in the quarter-mile, but the mod-motor was simply too large for anything like effective or convenient servicing, making these relatively new cars a rare sight on the modern road.

Lincoln and Cadillac are out of the transverse-V8 business now, as is everyone else; the MKS offers the EcoBoost twin-turbo V-6 while the XTS is, apparently, about to have something similar. We’ll never again see the day when a company commissions a bespoke V-8 that cranks out 230 horsepower and swallows its cam gears right after the warranty runs out. It’s even possible that we’ll never again see a major manufacturer offer a transverse V-8-powered automobile.

And that’s okay.

Mark writes:

Hello Sanjeev,

I have a problem and hope you can help me. My Cadillac Brougham with the 307 V8 smells like gas under the hood. This is intermittent and the last time it was in the shop the mechanic found no leaks under the car or around the carb.

I did some internet searching and have heard all kinds of things including I probably used the wrong kind of gas. Apparently cars like mine can’t burn premium fuel completely and there might be residual gas left in the engine. My other cars use premium so I could have pumped 91 octane by mistake. Could that be it?

If it was a leak why wouldn’t it smell all the time?

I’m frustrated to the point where chancing it is an option so let me ask you this if you can’t fix it… if it is a small leak what’s the worst that can happen? I mean doesn’t modern reformulated gasoline have such a high flash point that I needn’t worry, except for the smell? Gas smell doesn’t really bother me.

If I took a fire extinguisher around with me could I “catch” a small fire under the hood in time to avoid damaging my paint? Are there warning signs, like smoke, before flames start to actually melt things? Does fire extinguisher residue clean up pretty easily?

Many thanks,
Mark

SANJEEV answers:

Mark: I’m searching for a clever–yet benign–way to spell your name wrong, but I got nothing.  Plus, you got a machine that’s right up my Super Classy Alley, so I’ll proudly bestow my Sajeev Magic** on that sweet, sweet ‘Lac.

Old cars do stupid things because they are…wait for it…old. And you are freaking out with eleventy billion superfluous questions because of it: Fire extinguisher residue concerns?  Really???

Stay calm: it’s all good, son! Leaks happen anywhere with old rubber and gaskets, especially with today’s ethanol-blend fuel added to the mix. (Literally.) If your carb’s never been rebuilt from the ground up, now’s the time.  I betcha an internal seal is leaking, pouring fuel down the motor’s throat when it isn’t required.  Perhaps it’s when the motor is cooling down (adding space between the seal’s gaps) and when the bowl is at a certain fill level.  Or not.  But whatever the internal fail, it’s only gonna get worse from here.

I had the same problem on an older EFI car, the fuel injectors were leaking internally and the smell was horrid. You can’t see an internal leak, but you sure-as-shit can smell it. So let’s address everything. Are there any rubber fuel lines under the hood?  Replace them now, they are cheap too.  Did ya install a fancy external glass fuel filter with a removable cartridge? Throw it away and get a conventional sealed filter. Don’t know a good carburetor tech in your area?  Look harder, because now is the time.

About your Premium fuel problem, yes you are wrong for using it, but only your checking account is pissed at you. Premium fuel won’t damage an engine or leave unburned deposits above and significantly beyond a normal used motor. If you’re really concerned, you can run Seafoam in the intake and fuel system followed by an Italian Tune Up to really clean things out. After you have someone blow apart the carb and rebuild it.

**Patent pending. Or not.

Send your queries to sajeev@thetruthaboutcars.com. Spare no details and ask for a speedy resolution if you’re in a hurry…but be realistic, and use your make/model specific forums instead of TTAC for more timely advice.

Last week there was a 2003 Toyota Tacoma with 430,000 miles on it.

I thought to myself, “Well this isn’t news. The quartet of GM/Ford trucks, Honda Cars, and Toyota everything is still cleaning up the charts. I won’t write about it this time”. So I waited…

This week the mileage champion out of 6,945 vehicles was a 1999 Toyota 4Runner with 344,400 miles. The enthusiasts among us are probably a bit Toyonda Chevorded out at this point. So this time, let’s focus on longevity.

This 1975 Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham was once owned by Kermit the Frog. It was later purchased by the guy who invented Nickelodeon’s world famous slime and has most recently been on the set of the Incredible Hulk movie. Sad to say, the scene where it was scheduled to be destroyed was cut due to a protest engineered by our own TTAC alum Paul Niedermeyer.

So now it sits with 32,973 miles.

Old Caddies are rarely a surprise at the auctions. What did surprise me this time?

Try two 1977 MGB Roadsters available at the same auction. The miles are 47,959 and 49,048 respectively. Two more garage queens. These happened to reside in Nashville, Tennessee, Elvis country, where the rust is minimal, and the classiness of car decor is often somewhere between decals that portray the act of urinating and world famous truck testicles.

These sheepskin covers aren’t so bad. In fact, I think they would be the perfect fit for the marque that finished fourth and fifth on the longevity list.

These were followed by two Mercedes diesels. The second of which was a daily driver that displayed an impressive 308,052 miles. This is doubly impressive since old Mercedes odometer clusters have a tendency to give out at a certain point. I wouldn’t be surprised if this daily driver had more mileage than the Toyota 4Runner.

Finally, we have another surprise. A 1982 Fiat spider. Just showing the picture of this model with 137,939 miles would not do it justice. So I have arranged for a Youtube video to accompany your Monday morning.

Click here to view the embedded video.

The seats for this model were protected in a more conventional way than the MG twins.

There you have it. The six elder statesmen out of 6,985 vehicles. All of them still run… or at least limp along the road with loose bladders.

With 70 percent of its buyers new to to the brand, the Cadillac ATS is an important way for the brand to bring new buyers into the fold. But the ATS is still missing an important product that its main competitors currently have; a coupe.

While the coupe market is small overall, two-door variants still count towards the overall volume of vehicles like the BMW 3-Series and Mercedes-Benz C-Class. And with the demise of the current CTS Coupe, a two-door ATS will fill a hole in Cadillac’s lineup by replacing a vehicle that attracted a bit of a following.

Also on deck for Caddy is the new Escalade, reportedly an evolutionary update of the current design. Reports state that a great deal of work has gone into upgrading the interior, which looks fairly dated at this point in time. While most enthusiasts will be excited by the prospect of an ATS coupe, a case can be made that the new Escalade is the more compelling product.

The Escalade is arguably Cadillac’s flagship, but the brand has apparently changed course late in its development cycle, moving away from the obnoxious (but awesome) bling-bling aesthetic to a look that Mark Reuss has called “understated yet elegant”. Personally, I think this is the wrong move; nobody buys an Escalade to fly under the radar (that’s what the Yukon Denali is for – check your local country club if you don’t believe me), but they do buy it to make a certain kind of statement. Beyond that, the public has embraced the Escalade in its role as the ride of choice for athletes, rappers and wealthy proles. In that niche, it truly is the standard of the world, more recognizable by name than even the Range Rover and the G-Wagen, the current ride of choice for America’s favorite nouveau riche Armenian clan. If only Cadillac would embrace it. If you want to make a statement about sustainability and your social conscience, go buy an ELR.

1973 Ford Pinto Sportiva Concept

Is it a cliche to say that as a writer I try to avoid cliches? Anyway, I do try to avoid the word legendary (see Dash Parr on being special), but some concept and show cars are, well, legendary. Not in the sense, of course, that people tell grand tales about them but because they are remembered, ending up in books and blog posts. Some concept and show cars are, if not the stuff of legends, certainly the stuff of history. Other cars, not so much. For every memorable Cadillac Evoq, Sixteen and Converj, there’s been at least one La Espada or Aurora, cars that never really caught the public or auto enthusiasts’ imagination even if they may have influenced production cars. A concept car can cost an easy million dollars to build, but once that year’s auto show season is over, it’s often forgotten.

For a long time, after they came off the show circuit many show cars were destroyed or otherwise passed out of company hands. They were of no further use to the car companies so they were discarded. Few things become as quickly dated or as passe as last year’s concept cars. After collectors like Joe Bortz and Steve Juliano started finding and restoring those cars, though, car companies have tended to regard show cars as worth saving, if only because of their pecuniary and publicity value, though I think some folks inside the companies do have a clue as to their historic and cultural value. Today I doubt many show vehicles are deliberately destroyed and when they do let concept and show cars slip the bonds of their corporation, car companies try to get maximum value out of the transaction. As part of their centennial celebration a decade ago, in 2002 Ford had Christie’s auction off 50 concept cars from FoMoCo’s corporate collection, with the proceeds going to charity. During GM’s financial crisis and bankruptcy, in 2009 the company culled out 250  prototypes, SEMA show cars, and concepts from their Heritage collection and sold them at the Barrett-Jackson auction in Scottsdale. Since then, car companies have auctioned off a number of other prototypes for publicity and charitable purposes.

While researching Detroit’s legendary (if the shoe fits) Alexander brothers, who built a series of award winning custom cars and also made show cars for Ford in the 1960s, I came across a photo of the 1973 Pinto Sportiva Concept (not an Alexander brothers’ car, though I suppose it’s possible that Larry Alexander may have worked on it as by then he was working for Ford as a master metal modeler in Ford’s prototype shop). It’s a notchback take on the Pinto that presages the Mustang II which was itself based on the Pinto platform, and to make it at least somewhat interesting, Ford gave it a targa roof.

Did you know about the 1973 Ford Pinto Sportiva Concept? Neither did I. How about the 1988 Lincoln Machete? Putting aside the concept car itself for a second, how on Earth did someone at Lincoln think that “Machete” resonated with the Lincoln brand, or with its customers? Those cars got me thinking about obscure concept and show cars so I headed to one of my favorite places to find pics of cool cars from the past, the Chicago Auto Show’s website. The Chicago show has hired professional photographers to shoot the show since at least the early 1950s and they’ve graciously compiled a year by year archive on the show’s website that goes back to the turn of the 20th century. In recent years Robert Shiverts (Oscar & Associates) has been the show’s official photographer. The pics that Shiverts and the other official show photographers have shot over the years are a great historical record of American car culture.

I’ve gone through their dropdown menu of concept cars and picked a few whose names I didn’t really recognize (and a few that I think deserve more attention). Some of them did influence production cars even if they didn’t achieve fame as show cars, others are doubly obscure.

Many of the photos are from the Chicago Auto Show site, but I’ve fleshed out the gallery a bit with some publicity and other archival shots.

Acura’s alphanumeric production car names are hard enough to keep straight. Do you remember the 1995 Acura CL-X concept?

1964 American Motors Rambler Cheyenne Wagon. Western motifs were popular in the ’50s and ’60s, particularly with station wagons.

Also in 1964, AMC showed the Tarpon concept, a great looking fastback based on the compact Rambler American with an almost boattail design. Unfortunately, AMC head Roy Abernethy overruled designer Richard Teague and the roofline ended up on the midsize AMC platform as the Marlin. The proportions didn’t work quite as well. Dodge’s similarly fastback styled but better proportioned Charger outsold the Marlin by a wide margin.

Before there was the Rambler Cheyenne, there was the 1959 Buick Texan, based on the Invicta wagon.

As you can see from the 1958 Buick Wells Fargo, western themes weren’t exclusive to station wagons. The Buick Wells Fargo was made especially for actor Dale Robertson, whose western tv show, Wells Fargo, Buick sponsored.

The 1983 Buick Questor had state of the art electronics, with a laser based keyless entry and a computerized navigation system. That was just two years after IBM introduced the Intel 8088 based 5150 personal computer and the same year two guys named Steve introduced the Apple IIe. Some of the Questor’s electronic features ended up on the production Buick Reatta.

Not to be confused with Brooks Stevens’ masterful Studebaker Sceptre concept, the 1992 Buick Sceptre gave a preview of Buick’s soft curvy design language of the 1990s. It also had one of those newfangled cellular telephones.

They wouldn’t go financially bankrupt until 2009 but General Motors’ creative bankruptcy was evident by 1995. It’s one thing to recycle a concept name, or another to keep a popular car on the show circuit for a couple of years, but reusing the same actual car a dozen years later with virtually no restyling shows that even the famed staff of GM Design didn’t have much left in the tank by the 1990s. In 1995 Buick revived not just the Questor name (companies recycle concept names all the time), it brought back the same car, only with new paint and upgraded electronic gizmos. It’s a little confusing because they recycled the car but by I believe that by 1995 the Questor had 14 micro-computers, automatic level, attitude and spoiler control, a “systems sentinel” to monitor the status of vehicle systems, heads-up display, computer based map and navigation system, automatically aimed headlamps, theft-deterrent system, road traction monitoring and control system, TV rear-view mirror (GM first put a rear facing tv camera on the Centurion Motorama car in the 1950s), and a touch-command system for entertainment, comfort and convenience functions. As a concept car in general, the Questor accurately predicted many of the features on today’s cars. As a concept car to promote the Buick brand, though, it didn’t do much.

1998 Buick Signia station wagon. It’s made some ugliest cars of all time lists but I don’t think it’s that terrible. Okay, on second thought, maybe it is.

1999 Buick Cielo. Remember it? Had Bill Mitchell been alive to see it, I think he would have said that it looked like a fish.

1954 Cadillac La Espada. Actor Ronald Reagan was the Grand Marshall for that year’s Chicago Auto Show. Reagan later rode in Lincolns.

1950 Cadillac Debutante, with all unpainted interior metal plated in gold. In today’s politically correct world, would Cadillac use even fake exotic fur, let alone the Debutante’s real leopard skin?

Cadillac used the Aurora name in 1990. The name would later appear at the top of Oldsmobile’s lineup.

2002 Vizon Concept, a preview of the Cadillac SRX. The Vizon was an early version of Caddy’s Art & Science design theme.

Lately there have been rumors that Chevrolet might expand the Corvette lineup to include a four seater. Expanding the Corvette line is not a new idea. At the 1954 Motorama, Chevy showed hardtop, fastback and station wagon versions of the Corvette, introduced only a year before. For the Motorama in 1957, Chevy debuted the Corvette Impala concept which seated five. Most Motorama cars look a little bizarre to my tastes, but the Corvette Impala was damn near perfect. It’s fate is unknown, probably scrapped.

Did Chevrolet really use the obscure, difficult to pronounce and deliberately misspelled Sigizi in 1992 to introduce the dustbuster minivans? Just what two things are connected sygyzistically in this lozenge shaped vehicle?

Continued tomorrow in part 2, Chrysler to Ford.

Ronnie Schreiber edits Cars In Depth, a realistic perspective on cars & car culture and the original 3D car site. If you found this post worthwhile, you can dig deeper at Cars In Depth. If the 3D thing freaks you out, don’t worry, all the photo and video players in use at the site have mono options. Thanks – RJS

The 420,000 mile Ford truck. The 420,000 mile Chevy truck. The 420,000 mile Camry. The 420,000 mile Accord.

I have covered all of these brands and models to the point now where I just hope, wish and dream of a different vehicle to highlight.

A few months ago I finally had a pair of Saturns make it to the top. A little before that there was a 90′s Altima that handily beat nearly 7000 other cars and trucks.  This week…

No such luck. Although there was one surprise.

This is how the Top 5 looked this time around out of 6863 trade-in contestants for the week.

1. 2003 Ford E-350 XLT:  426,776 miles

2. 2000 Honda Civic EX:  387,915 miles

3. 2001 Nissan Xterra SE: 377,966 miles

4. 2000 Ford Crown Vic:   353,951 miles (TAXI!)

5. 1999 Toyota Sienna LE: 341,630 miles

The Xterra was a welcome surprise from the usual Toyota, Honda, Ford, and Chevy domination.

A Manual. 4WD. The engine needed service but that won’t matter given that it will be fixed up and exported in short time. Almost every older, high mileage, Japanese SUV with four-wheel-drive and a handshaker winds up on the export side of the ledger.

Like many of the exported vehicles with gonzo mileage, I’m sure this one will also be given an ‘exempt’ recording of the mileage on the title and a nice healthy 200k mile rollback. They sell better that way.

So the big five here are more than likely highway oriented vehicles. Livery and transport companies usually favor domestics for their continuous travels, and we can argue the reasons why until Ford finally builds a suitable Panther replacement.

High mileage is fun to categorize, but let’s face it. There is bias. The fleet world is Ford and Chevy happy. So let’s look at the high mileage list from a more aged perspective.

What about vehicles that are at least 20 year old? What brands and models registered the highest mileage this time around?

Number one would be this 1992 Toyota Paseo with another handshaker and sun faded racing stripes on either side of the hood. Toyotas from the mid-80′s thru the mid-90′s have a notorious tendency to have their paint streaked and speckled at the points where the sun and debris hit em’ the most.

Still, even the worst Toyota paint jobs are far better than the wafer thin domestic paint-jobs of the time. But if I can offer one universal weakness to early-90′s Toyotas, it would be paint fade.

This 21 year old mileage champion was followed by a 1990 Lexus LS400 (290k), a 1990 Honda Accord (279k),  a 1993 Ford F150 (278k), and a 1992 Camry (277k).

So it seems like we’re stuck at the same point as before. Well, maybe not folks. I’ll throw in a few factoids given that today is tax day. .

After 64,049 vehicles tallied, the brands with the highest percentage of models with over 180k are…

1. Honda 

2. Toyota

3. Lexus

4. Acura

and a surprising 5th…

5. GMC

The first four have 20+% of their trade-ins with over 180k. GMC is at just over 17%.

Now for an even bigger shocker…

13% of Mitsubishis are now traded in with over 180k. I happen to finance an awful lot of them these days with a clear conscience. So this is no surprise from where I sit. 

Meanwhile, Mercedes tallies a mere 6.9%. BMW yields 5.9%. Audi barely hits the mileage pedal with only 4.5%, while VW does little better, even with dozens of TDI models, at 4.9%.

To further crown the European propensity for penurious plentitude when it comes to all things mileage related, the two absolute worst marques for mileage are Jaguar at 2.6% and Land Rover at 2.8%. Porsche is even worse at 0.52%. But since a Porsche daily driver is an exception rather than the rule, we gave it a bye.

On the homefront, we have one other surprise. Cadillac is barely beating the bad old Kias of the 90′s and early 2000′s. 3.8% for the former Northstar division vs. 3.7% for a company that brought us shitboxes such as the Sephia and the early Kia Rios.

Do you have free time today? Or happen to work for an OEM? Click here and have fun.

Over the last two years, attacking Lincoln has become tremendously “in.” This is because doing so will cause everyone to agree with you, which is sort of like when people complain about drivers in their hometown. Seriously: no matter what major city you visit, the drivers there are “the worst,” according to local residents who have obviously never visited Italy.

The latest industry observer to attack Lincoln is David Kiley, who wrote an editorial yesterday for Autoblog entitled “Lincoln needs a farewell address, not a new marketing plan.” This received a generally warm welcome, which mirrors the one Kiley will get in tomorrow’s Detroit Free Press for writing an op-ed piece called “Detroit Drivers Are The Worst.” The latter story would probably win him a Pulitzer, except the committee is in New York and they are absolutely certain Manhattan drivers are the worst.

The only problem is that all of the Lincoln doubters are wrong.

Before you say it, I’m well aware of what you’re thinking: I must be crazy. Regular readers already know this to be true, since I owned a Range Rover Classic. But for those who need more proof, here it is: I have absolutely no idea how Lincoln will come back. I won’t lay out a marketing plan as Kiley did, despite announcing in his title that Lincoln doesn’t need one. I just know they will.

How Do I Know?

To me, there’s one clear reason Lincoln can revive itself: it’s been done before with much less.

Take Porsche, for example. Many of you are aware I once worked for Porsche, though my former superiors may object to my use of the term “work.” Either way, I woke up every morning and drove to the office. Twenty years ago, Porsche’s lineup was about as stale as Lincolns. Back then, Porsche offered three vehicles; the 928, which came out in 1977, was the newest. They sold as many cars in 1993 as they do now in a good month. The best car they were building had a Mercedes-Benz badge on it. And the window stickers were hand-written by someone who majored in calligraphy. (OK, some of this may be slightly inaccurate.)

Of course, the David Kileys of the time probably wrote Porsche off. I don’t have access to any of these articles, but I bet they had headlines like: “Porsche Needs a Farewell Address, and Stuttgart Drivers Are The Worst.”

Audi is the same way. In the early 1990s, Audi had precisely one reputation: the brand that wasn’t quite as good as BMW at anything except making cars that accelerated when you pushed the brake pedal. But in 1996, Audi rolled out the A4 – and just ten years later, everyone who was formerly not using the turn signal in a BMW was now not using the turn signal in an Audi.

Of course, Audi and Porsche are just small-time German car companies now joined at the hip by the automotive equivalent to Napoleon. How are they relevant to Lincoln?

Fine. Forget Audi and Porsche. It’s coincidental that the subject of Lincoln comes up (not really, I brought it up) since just yesterday I posted a review of my former 2004 Cadillac CTS-V. In it, I made the point that the CTS was Cadillac’s first real post-Escalade attempt to turn the brand around. Following the CTS came dozens of other efforts, some of which were good (ATS, SRX) and some of which were quite awful (DTS, that Escalade pickup thing). But by now, everyone agrees Cadillac has enjoyed a complete rebirth from a hole of obscurity they were facing just seven years before the CTS came out, when their flagship was the vinyl-roofed Fleetwood Brougham.

Back to Lincoln

Two things set Lincoln apart from Porsche, Audi, and even Cadillac. One is, very obviously, money. Lincoln has it. We know this because Lincoln is part of the Ford Motor Company, who awards Alan Mulally an eight-figure bonus every time he tells that joke about how the company’s been going out of business for 40 years.

The other thing is even more obvious: talent. Lincoln has that, too. Mulally may earn big bucks, but it’s because he and his staff have already done the impossible once before. These are the people who orchestrated Ford’s transformation from automotive obscurity to a constant front-runner. Except, of course, in the hallowed “outdated, large rear-wheel drive sedan” segment. Sorry, TTAC.

Those who complain about Lincoln’s current lineup are too shortsighted to see the brand’s limitless possibilities. Surely, there were doubters when Porsche launched the Boxster; when Audi debuted the A4; when Cadillac came out with the CTS. And I bet we don’t have to dig very deeply to find articles labeling Ford “dead and buried” when their best car was a full-size sedan called the Five Hundred. But every one of those brands proved the pundits wrong. So will Lincoln.

No, I have no idea how Ford will revive Lincoln, and I’m not going to provide suggestions. Because considering the wonders they’ve worked with Ford, Mulally and crew don’t need my input. They just need to work hard, and do their best to avoid those awful Dearborn drivers. Really, they’re the worst.

Doug DeMuro operates PlaysWithCars.com. He’s owned an E63 AMG wagon, road-tripped across the US in a Lotus without air conditioning, and posted a six-minute lap time on the Circuit de Monaco in a rented Ford Fiesta. One year after becoming Porsche Cars North America’s youngest manager, he quit to become a writer. His parents are very disappointed.

When I was a child, I had some neighbors with a Cadillac. They were either very old or very confused, but probably both since they put their license plate renewal decals on the trunk.

This was the early 1990s, when nobody had a Cadillac. Seriously: the lineup consisted of the Seville, the DeVille, the Eldorado and the Fleetwood Brougham, which was larger than most New York City apartments. None of those sound appealing even by TTAC standards, which seem to consist of: once a car is cancelled, it automatically becomes good, especially if it was designed at a time when fuel was cheaper than postage.

In the late 1990s, Cadillac finally started to become acceptable again thanks to the Catera. Hah! Just kidding. Of course, I mean the Escalade; the Catera simply confused Cadillac buyers by being small enough to fit in a modern garage.

While the Escalade’s runaway success brought Cadillac back from the brink of Lincoln-style obscurity, its popularity seemed to surprise the brand. Four model years went by before they followed it up with something totally new. This may have been because GM’s strategy at the time was: “If it will be successful, do something else.” Which, incidentally, was borrowed from Acura and explains every generation of the RL.

When Cadillac finally brought a new product to the table, it came in the form of the 2003 CTS: a rear-wheel drive sedan designed by someone who must’ve been told that using curves would result in his next company car being a Cavalier. I can only assume he also designed the GMC Terrain, this time under threat of Chevy Spark.

I briefly owned the high-performance CTS-V, which debuted in 2004. This is my review.

Why Did I Buy It?

There are two main answers to this question. The first is obvious: while the CTS-V looks like your grandfather’s Cadillac, it has the engine and transmission from your crazy uncle’s Corvette Z06. That’s right: the powertrain isn’t even from a normal Corvette, but rather from a Corvette Z06, which is better because a) it’s faster, and b) it has those little inlets in front of its rear wheels.

The second reason I bought the CTS-V is probably more important. I found it privately listed on AutoTrader.com and decided to take a test drive, only to discover the owner was a Korean kid who had lost his visa and was getting deported in less than a week. That allowed me to play CarMax with the price and make a wild lowball offer, which is probably a TTAC story for another time. Years later, as he sits in fear of a crazy dictator just a few hundred miles away, I feel a little bad about all of this. Especially because he left a nice motorcycle helmet in the trunk.

On the Road

The first-generation CTS-V had traditional sport suspension instead of the later models’ GM MagneRide. That’s fine, because despite dozens of eight-minute videos on GM’s press site narrated by engineers wearing lab coats, no one has any idea what MagneRide actually does. I do know it includes magnets, which means you can probably put those tiny refrigerator words on the shock absorbers.

The CTS-V’s sport suspension served two functions. One was to provide good handling – and the CTS-V was, by all measures, absolutely excellent. I later had a Panamera company car, and I actually believe the CTS-V handled better at the limit. This could be because the Panamera is only slightly smaller than the Fleetwood Brougham.

The other function of the CTS-V’s suspension was to provide a bone-jarring ride possibly designed to allow you to inspect every single bump, pothole and small insect on the road. The ride alone would disappoint my early-1990s Cadillac-owning neighbors, who probably would’ve sold the car before they attempted to get an emissions test at the drive-thru ATM.

Regardless, I could handle the rough ride because I was a young guy who wanted one thing: powaaaah! And the CTS-V had that. Cadillac said it did 0-to-60 in 4.6 seconds on its way to a quarter mile in 13.1. These are important figures to memorize when you live in the South.

The problem was that no one who ever drove a stock CTS-V could actually replicate these numbers. There were two reasons. One was that, with any attempt, the differential would fail. Early first-gen CTS-V models were famous for exploding differentials, and GM was equally famous for denying warranty claims with reasons like: “You were driving in a straight line.” or: “You were parked in a parking lot where differentials are known to fail.”

Beyond the differential, the car couldn’t reach its full potential because the gear lever had been designed by GM engineers whose only experience with a manual transmission came on the Bloomfield Hills High School rowing team. As a result, the stick shift was designed like a boat oar, with about as much play. Seriously: it could be moved about an inch to the left or right when it was in gear. After I sold the car, the next owner had a short shifter installed before I even gave him the spare key.

And the Design?

In spite of its curveless creases, the CTS-V’s exterior was a major strong point. I always buy my cars in the color from the press photos (well, except for that damn station wagon I had in pewter), which, in the CTS-V’s case, meant I had to go with black. Personally, I felt the factory bodykit was subtle and handsome, yet muscular in a “Luke, I am your father” sort of way. And the 18-inch wheels completed the package, even though they contributed to the elderly-disorienting ride.

The interior was also generally good thanks to comfortable seats, a thick steering wheel and air-conditioning vents that – despite a cheap look and feel – could be moved to blow air on precisely any small square inch of the cabin you wanted. Rear seat room was good, and trunk space was excellent, especially for storing motorcycle helmets.

But since this was GM in the early 2000s, there were some downsides. The biggest was the center stack. That’s because it was made from plastic that was clearly sourced to the lowest bidder, who created it during bathroom breaks in a factory that made Wal-Mart deck chairs.

The other major downside was that, for some reason, the car had a foot-mounted parking brake. That meant there were four pedals on the floor. And the one you didn’t want to touch for any reason was only a few inches from the one you had to touch every time you changed gears.

The Verdict

Owning the CTS-V taught me a few things. Number one: unless it’s an Escalade, most people still don’t have very strong perceptions of Cadillac. And when you say things like “Four hundred horsepower” and “Chevrolet Corvette zee oh six,” they get bored and pull out their iPhones to play Words With Friends. This didn’t bother me. If it bothers you, BMW makes some pretty damn good cars, all of which are probably on their first differential.

Number two: no car, in the history of cars, should be saddled with a transmission this awful. I’ve driven the latest CTS-V and the transmission is much improved, but that doesn’t do much for people out there driving first-gens. My suggestion: get a short shifter. And for God’s sake, when you’re using it, don’t accidentally press the parking brake.

Most importantly, though, I’ve learned that an automaker really can go from the Fleetwood Brougham to a credible performance car in just a few short years. And all it takes to get there is a big SUV.

Doug DeMuro operates PlaysWithCars.com. He’s owned an E63 AMG wagon, road-tripped across the US in a Lotus without air conditioning, and posted a six-minute lap time on the Circuit de Monaco in a rented Ford Fiesta. One year after becoming Porsche Cars North America’s youngest manager, he quit to become a writer. His parents are very disappointed.

TTAC readers looking for a more pro-GM news source may want to check out Bloomberg for their next dose of pro-GM news. A story on Cadillac’s revived fortunes contains all kinds of enthusiastic copy and positive quotes, but still manages to bury the lede way down at the bottom of the story.

Take this quote for example

“Cadillac’s performance certainly exceeded expectations, and the ATS was the driving factor,” said Jeff Schuster, auto analyst with LMC Automotive in Troy, Michigan. “They have a lot happening with their lineup and the vehicles are hitting with consumers.”

Joel Ewanick himself couldn’t have come up with a better quote to feed to the industry price. The ATS is a nice car by all accounts. First drive impressions were positive, despite one of the buff books binning one into the red Georgia clay. But scroll a little further down past the ongoing textual fellatio and you’ll find the golden nugget.

Cadillac’s pricing problems show up in the incentives it offers. GM’s average incentive spending on the ATS in February was $3,700 per car, compared to $333 in September, when the new model went on sale, according to TrueCar Inc., a Santa Monica, California, researcher that tracks auto sales.

Uh oh. $3,700 just months after their crucial entry-level car was introduced? A nearly tenfold increase in incentive spending in just a few short months? Not good news at all. The incentives do explain why the ATS had a nice bump in sales right around February. It’s unfortunate that GM would have to spend so much per car to move a product as nice as the ATS.

Of course, Bloomberg handily explains away the unpleasant incentive information with this quote

Those discounts should decline as Cadillac’s redesigned models attract new buyers. GM said more than half the ATS buyers are coming from competitors such as BMW, Mercedes and Lexus. GM aims to increase sales of Cadillac in the U.S. by more than 30 percent this year, Bob Ferguson, global head of the brand, told reporters in New York last week. 

A look at incentive programs in the Miami/South Florida region (using ZIP Code 33180) as a sample shows that the ATS offering more aggressive incentive programs than its competitors. BMW is offering 3.1 percent APR financing for the new 3-Series (save for the Hybrid at 1.9 percent) versus 0 percent for the ATS. Audi offers no finance incentives for the A4 at all. While the ATS gets a $299/month lease for 36 months with $2,199 due at signing, a similarly equipped 328i would cost $349/month for 36 months with $3,824 due at signing. An A4 2.0T can be leased for $309/month for the same term with $3,719 due. Mercedes-Benz was not offering 36 month lease deals at the time of writing. Only Lexus came close to matching Cadillac’s offer, with a lease on an IS250 involving $309/month payment for 36 months, with $3,209 due at signing and a credit for the first month’s lease payment – on a model that is due to be replaced any day now, where dealers are desperate to get rid of the stock.

The incentive picture makes the Q1 2013 sales snapshot above even starker. The 3-Series and C-Class are way out in front. The C-Class is leading the segment with 22,912 units sold, with the 3-Series in second place with 20,662 units. Cadillac is in third place, but is beating the A4 by just 45 units as of the end of March (9795 units of the ATS sold versus 9750 A4s). The Lexus trails in fifth place with 5173.

The unfortunate thing here is that the ATS itself isn’t necessarily the reason for its lagging sales and heavy incentive spending. Rather it’s the result of the continued degradation of the Cadillac brand in the eyes of the consumer over the past few decades. I’m far from the only person that believes the ATS to be a superior product to the Mercedes-Benz C-Class, and there are plenty of knowledgeable  respected auto critics who feel that is is just as dynamically competent as the BMW 3-Series. But these two products are crushing the ATS in the sales race, undoubtedly on the strength of their respective brands. The unfortunate relaity is that most consumers don’t care about whether or not their car is The Ultimate Driving Machine; they just want a fancy badge to show off to other people. Until Cadillac’s brand is on par with the Roundel or the Three Pointed Star, this scenario of significant incentive spending and lagging sales will likely continue to play out, no matter how good the product is.

The multi-billion dollar endeavor of developing a new car has effectively ended the one-off specialty car that many enthusiasts still clamor for and wronglyassert is feasible in this era. Supermodel-thin margins, a saturation of brands and vehicles and an ultra-competitive global marketplace have killed the previous formula for developing a production car, which was mostly a one-off solution to local road conditions and buyer tastes

The necessity of scale is a double-edged sword; if the bean counters deem a product too costly and it may proceed as a watered down version of the original concept. If a new architecture or platform is approved, then we are practically assured multiple variants spun off that platform.

As it turns out, GM nearly took the cheapskate approach to developing the Cadillac ATS. But at the 11th hour, the General decided to change course, and enthusiasts will be all the better for it.

Automotive News outlines how Cadillac’s 3-Series fighter very nearly became Cimarron 2.0, with plans underway to build it on the front-drive Delta platform.

“We were going to do a front-wheel-drive Cadillac compact off of Delta because it was going to be less expensive,” Doug Parks, GM’s vice president of global product programs, told me at the Detroit auto show in January. “There were people in the organization saying, ‘It’ll be OK. We can dial it in.’” So serious were the plans that Parks, who was based in Europe at the time, found himself driving 150 mph on a test track in Spain in a 2.0-liter turbo test mule built on the Delta platform.

“We actually made it pretty darn good,” Parks said. “But in reality, you can’t go beat BMW or Mercedes when you don’t have the right weight balance and everything else.”

GM’s decision to develop Alpha ensured that its performance vehicles have a new lease on life. The ATS will be the start of a range of cars, with the next-generation Camaro to follow. Two vehicles off of Alpha won’t be enough either, but what will follow the Camaro is anyone’s guess.

While snapping shots of the new Chevrolet SS at the end of the show on Thursday, TTAC’s NYIAS crew was approached by General Motors vice president Mark Reuss. “You guys are always trying to make GM look bad,” he growled, his two personal assistants standing behind him and positively radiating menace, “but I’m going to show you that you can’t stop the largest car company in the world from making great product for great customers. Come with me.”

We didn’t have much choice, but after being given an industry exclusive on the biggest product reveal to not make news at the show, we’re glad we followed him down that dark corridor.

There, sitting alone and forlorn in a distant corner of one of the Jacob Javits Center’s loading docks, was a fierce-looking version of the new Chevrolet Impala. Slammed to the ground, with heavy negative camber and monstrous carbon-ceramic brakes peeking from behind the Corvette-ZR1-sourced lace wheels, the Impala really looked like it was worthy of the name Impala, as opposed to the current Impala, which could have been truthfully been called the “Biscayne Extra Suck Edition”.

“If we hadn’t been able to get the SS past the EPA and DOT this year, we’d have done this project instead,” Reuss noted. “But since ninety percent of the SS platform is shared with the G8, type approval was actually easy as pie. Which left this Impala SS with nowhere to go. What you’re looking at is the development mule for the XTS-V.”

“XTS-V?”

“Absolutely. Specs run like this. Transverse LS7 with lower redline to preserve the carryover 6T70. We’re targeting an announced power level of 470 or so horsepower. Possibly a torque bump if we decide to use the Camaro cam.”

“The LS7 fits in the Epsilon II?”

“OF COURSE IT DOES!” Reuss laughed. “What, you think we’re so stupid we don’t bother to make sure we can put our marquee engines into our marquee brand? Did you really think we were going to leave the XTS with the same shitty six-cylinder we put in the LaCrosse? Why would anybody buy an XTS if we did that, given the price difference? Of course, the XTS has a longer wheelbase coming, because obviously it won’t cut it for livery duty with the rear seat room we have now. It’s possible we’ll use the LS3 in a livery LWB XTS for late 2014 as well.”

Scheduled to appear before the new CTS in showrooms, the XTS-V will likely circle the fabled ‘Ring in under eight minutes and twenty seconds, thus setting a new record for FWD luxury sedans over 3,850 pounds. Paddle shifters and stitched Alcantara will complete the interior for a truly premium experience, while the CUE system will be augmented with something that Reuss told us “you’d better not fucking call ‘Track Apps’, Ford owns that.”

The XTS-V will be priced about where the old STS-V was, but in our brief convo, Reuss told us he wasn’t concerned about market penetration. “Listen, it’s been proven again and again that you can sell Cadillacs for big money. Look at the Allante, the XLR, the STS-V itself. We’ll be head to head with the M5 on this, the same way we were were head-to-head with the M3 on CTS-V and we’ll be head-to-head with the 1M with the ATS-V that I’m supposed to pretend isn’t already running laps at Milford.”

In a rare moment of candor, Reuss admitted that the XTS-V has already won Motor Trend’s Car of the Year award. “We don’t have a production-line XTS-V running yet, but luckily for us we draft all our advertising checks as, ahem, one-offs, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.”

An exclusive press event for the nation’s biggest auto journalists will be held at the Stelvio Pass in approximately sixty days, with long-term loaners being distributed shortly afterwards. Our requests to participate in either program were met with the terse response “Fuck off,” and a follow-up suggestion for a week with an XTS-V press car were met with the terse response, “I already told you to fuck off, don’t make me tell you with these two fists.” The advertising campaign will be built around the concept of “Torque Can Steer You Anywhere You Want To Go,” and will feature, according to GM press flack A. T. Tappmann, “some black golfer who isn’t Tiger Woods, probably.”

Click here to view the embedded video.

Watching the live streaming video of Cadillac’s reveal of the all-new larger and lighter 2014 CTS last night in New York City, something GM Vice President Global Cadillac Bob Ferguson said caught my ear, about Cadillac tripling its sales over the next three years. That’s quite an improvement, so after the event I watched the recorded video and now that I’ve listened to Ferguson’s remarks a few times, and even transcribed it, I’m not sure exactly what he meant. From the context, really the word “and”,  it’s hard for me to tell if he was talking about tripling Cadillac’s sales in China, currently the world’s largest market for luxury cars or if he meant overall, globally. Let me know what you think, the transcript is after the break.

Ferguson also said that so for the first two months of 2013 Cadillac sales are up 32% in North America and that 70% of ATS buyers have never bought a Cadillac before. He didn’t say whether or not they had owned or cross-shopped a BMW 3 Series, the benchmark for the ATS and other cars in its class, or what brands of cars they used as trade-ins.

We hope you like what you see and we hope you find the trajectory of Cadillac is clear, expanding, growing, elevating to another level and the new CTS will help propel us there. As you know the new ATS sports sedan is the North American Car of the Year. What you may not know is that 70% of ATS buyers are new to Cadillac and that’s helping to move us forward as well. Through the first two months of 2013, sales are up 32% here in North America. In China, the world’s largest luxury market, we’re taking big steps forward [not a great leap forward? - RJS] and we expect sales to triple over the next three years.

Ronnie Schreiber edits Cars In Depth, a realistic perspective on cars & car culture and the original 3D car site. If you found this post worthwhile, you can get a parallax view at Cars In Depth. If the 3D thing freaks you out, don’t worry, all the photo and video players in use at the site have mono options. Thanks – RJS

Having just picked up a Chrysler 300C, I would have told you that it’s the last American luxury car on sale today. Now I’m not so sure. Despite foisting on us the dreadfully mediocre XTS,Cadillac has had an ace up its sleeve the whole time.

The 2014 CTS, shown here, doesn’t look like a 5-Series competitor. It looks much more grand, with an elegant profile and unmistakably RWD proportions. The photos (or renderings) suggest a much larger car than an E-Segment should be.  How about a Fleetwood based on this design too? We’ll have live shots Wednesday, and a proper drive sometime after that – don’t count on a press invite from GM for your old pals at TTAC.

Good news for performance fans from The General; a new twin-turbo V6 will debut on the next generation CTS and XTS, good for 420 horsepower and 430 lb-ft of torque.

The 3.6L mill will apparently rocket the new CTS to 60 mph in 4.6 seconds, or about the same as an SRT8 Charger, while delivering 17/25 mpg. Apparently this engine won’t be featured in the ATS-V, but it will surely appear in some other GM products. The only question is what would be a good fit? The Camaro is an obvious choice, and the fact that it can fit transverse platforms as well is interesting. Might this engine show up in a future Buick?

I haven’t recommended a new Lincoln in well over 20 years now.

With rare exception, the brand never lives up to the hype of whatever a Lincoln was supposed to represent at various times in recent history. The ultimate luxury coupe that was the Mark VIII. The import fighting LS. The Lexus/Mercedes wanna-be that was the Lincoln Zephyr.  All of them were flops in the new car marketplace for a long list of good reasons.

Even the Lincoln SUV’s, then and now, seem to be little more than overpriced Fords with razor thin chrome accents. While the current alphabet soup of names makes it nearly impossible to recommend any new Lincoln without delving into a smartphone for confirmation that the MK-whatever is indeed an MK-whatever.

There is only one Lincoln truly worth it. The Town Car.  An old one. A well used one. But maybe not as used as this one.

The black 2006 Lincoln Town Car Signature in the first picture is from the Lone Star State and has 437,229 miles. Still runs. No announcements on the auction block. The same is true for this 2009 model from Hartford, Connecticut with 268,440 miles. 

Lincoln Town Cars have long represented the Holy Grail for livery operators who must shuck off various executives and media grunts from the airports to their destinations.

The wandering Texan in the first pic managed to average over 70,000 miles a year in what must have been a near 24/7 livery operation. Not to be outdone, the Northern sibling averaged nearly 90,000 miles a year. That must have included an awful of airport and traffic related idling as well.

No matter. These Town Cars are custom designed for the road warriors throughout our fair land; especially those cost sensitive souls who must operate these fleets without fear of breakdowns in the middle of nowhere.

This is why, every year for well over ten years now, I see the exact same reality whenever I fly off to some media event in the USA. Lincoln Town Car. Chauffeur’s hat. A sign that may or may not have my name correct. Bingo. Another well isolated travel through the angry streets of airport traffic, to a place that requires my services for 48 hours or less.

After a few years of this I started to have a random thought about this livery business, “Why no Cadillacs?”

Well the answer to that question didn’t exactly have to bite me on the ass. I saw it every week. Cadillacs from the mid to late 90′s with Northstar engines that were about to blow out their last coolant ridden remnants out of their tailpipes at the dealer auto auctions. Professional car buyers stayed away from these things in droves and by the time the mid-2000′s rolled along, you could find countless number of 1990′s Cadillacs at the public auctions for well south of $2000.

It was these vehicles that nearly killed Cadillac. Specifically, any model that had the word Northstar somewhere on the rear deck lid or under the hood.   

Everyone likes to say that the Cadillacs of the 80′s were the ones that did them in. Wrong! Most Americans had no idea that the Cimmaron existed, or the Allante for that matter.  Cadillac may have offered some of the most frumpish designs of the era along with engines that weren’t exactly paragons of reliability. But the grapevine back then wasn’t nearly as well connected as was the case by the late 90′s.

Once the internet became a common tool, Cadillac was screwed. All you had to do was go to one of the well visited auto review sites and there, without the forces of corporate influenced censorship,  you would find a hailstorm of hatred from actual owners of the vehicles.

Now with all that being said, there is always an outlier to the bell curve when it comes to automotive longevity. The 500,000 mile Fiat. The 446,000 mile Dodge Neon. And now… the almost made it to 300,000 miles 1998 Cadillac Deville.

293,606 miles to be exact.

It’s sad to think about how much goodwill was lost by Cadillac for what should have been a testament to their engineering prowess. Those who love Panthers (a.k.a Sajeev) may laugh at the thought. But if Cadillac had offered a genuine contender to the Town Car in terms of reliability… and design… and ease of mechanical repair… and…

Well, you get the point. Thankfully the large old fart car has gone the way of the Camry. In fact, the Camry is now to the new affluent retirees what the Cadillacs and Lincolns used to be to the old ones. Some may lament about the loss of luxury bling but to be brutally blunt, I’m kinda glad that the luxury class went straight to the middle class.

If I ever opened up a financial consulting business in Boca Raton, I wouldn’t do it for the money.

I would do it for the cars.

Forget about paying me a fee. Just will to me your cherry, top of the line ride. I’ll invest your money without ever churning that portfolio. Honest. I’ll leave that to the Goldman Sachs office that’s a few doors down from my more modest digs.

As my silent partner Joe Isuzu would say, “You have my word on it.”

Now Mr. Investor! Let’s start with some well chosen divestitures!

For starters, I need something that will ferry me off for the half mile drive from my palatial home on the shoreline, to the Starbucks, and then to work.

On second thought, I think I’ll just work here. Lincoln Lawyer… meet Cadillac Certified Financial Planner.

This 2006 model Cadillac DTS Limo has only 1,704 original miles and all of the essentials.

Lights for business meetings. Lights for other pleasurable journeys. Lights for the sheer hell of it.

Now that is one cool deal!  Although I would have to customize that seat a bit so that I could get a good night of rest.

Then there are the seats for my daily work. Nice. But I would like something that has a bit more manual recline and don’t look like they belong in some conversion van made ten years ago.

Also, what am I to do with my computer, printer, files and various subscriptions to business publications that I never read?

Screw it. I’ll just watch TV and get an Ipad.

Finally, there is only one other thing to consider.

Thank Goodness! I don’t want to mess with any indoor plumbing. Just find me a Waffle House with free coffee refills and I’ll bring the Charmin’.

Somehow I think a ride fit for a President would be more worthy of a decamillionaire’s consideration than a visit to a building with dozens of non-descript offices. But as a guy who used to take a six hour limo ride from Michigan to northern Ohio every two weeks, I can tell you these things get real old.

I would rather have a good conversation and a cheap Impala that keeps me better connected to my surroundings and the Internet. But how about you? Any limo rides and experiences worthy of a Monday morning?

Yesterday, we wrote about Susan Docherty’s grand strategy for Cadillac: Make Cadillac great in Europe to convince the Chinese to buy Cadillac. Clever strategy. But what if it fails in Europe? Trust me, its European failure is assured. In the meantime, the story has landed in Europe. Germany’s premiere car dealer magazine Der Kfz-Betrieb runs with the story today (with a nice shout-out to TTAC, Danke.)

The experts at Der KFz-Betrieb give the grand Cadillac strategy only passing mention and recommend to check with TTAC if someone wants an assessment. What the magazine is most interested in are Docherty’s comments about the “lackluster performance of Chevrolet in Europe.” That grabs Deutschland’s dealers more than non-existent Caddy sales.

Docherty blames the ill-informed European customer. Docherty said that European customers know Chevrolet only for its Corvette and Camaro. “What they don’t know is the Spark and Aveo and Cruze and Orlando, and the newest one we’re about to launch, the Trax,” Docherty told WardsAuto. “Not only are we trying to raise the opinion of Chevrolet and Cadillac, we’ve got to increase the overall awareness.” Again, another laser-sharp Dochertanian observation.

Right on, says Kfz Betrieb: “German Opel and Chevrolet dealers have demanded more advertising for years. Chevrolet Germany however only wants to spend more for advertising when the dealers have moved more cars.” While chicken waits for egg and egg waits for chicken, Chevrolet’s sales dropped 40 percent in January in Europe.

While dealers are waiting for ads and GM is waiting for dealers to make them some money, there is plenty money to sponsor Manchester United. Says Kfz-Betrieb: “This deal did cost GM half a billion Euro, but it will hardly significantly raise the awareness of the brand and its specific products throughout Europe.”

For 14 years I have owned a 1998 Ford Windstar Northwoods Edition with the indomitable 3.8 Liter engine. I love this van! It’s been so reliable. $38,000 and 4 transmissions later, and old rusty is still trucking. Only had to do 4 head gaskets.

AAA absolutely loves towing my vehicle. The tow truck operator and I are nearly best friends now. The autoparts store employees know my vehicle year/model immediately as soon as I walk in the door.

This Windstar is a known commodity in my town. When I turn right, everyone knows now to move out of my way before the vehicle stalls and I lose my power steering. My bottom is permanently embedded into the comfortable 1/4″ padded seat.

My question is, “Where can I find another car with such outstanding reliability?” Here are a few highlights of my Ol’ Reliable…

• 4 transmissions.
• 4 head gaskets.
• 2 engine overhauls.
• Umpteen O2 sensors.
• Various engine sensors.
• Cupholders are perfect!
• Body panels are non-existent as of 5 years ago (rust).

So what should I get? As you can tell by the $38,000 I spent, I am more than happy to invest in the right vehicle. Thanks!

Steve Says:

Gosh, this answer is as easy as rebuilding a Northstar V8. A job that only takes about three days and a fervent level of prayer.

Come to think of it, I would focus specifically on the late 1990′s vehicles since you apparently have a soft spot for them.

The Cadillac Deville and Seville of that era would easily offer the same fuel economy and comparable mechanical longevity. Oh, before I forget. Ignore the Escalade and everything else with a 350. That engine is pure junk!

Then you have the game changing late-90′s Dodge Intrepid and Chrysler Concorde with the tough as nails 2.7 Liter engine. I once bought a 2002 model that was owned by the Salvation Army since day one and had the oil changed religiously every 3,000 miles. It lasted exactly 95,000 miles. Apparently they take to longevity the same way that Richard Simmons takes to pussy.

I think a 1998 model would be about as good as it gets. They rarely go for more than $600 at the auctions and you see them at every auction here in Georgia. A very popular vehicle and surprisingly affordable.

Perhaps you want a more sophisticated car. Maybe something a bit more rare and exotic. How about a Daewoo? I don’t see too many of them out and about anymore. I’m sure the lucky owners must be keeping them in the garage in the hopes that they become the next Barrett-Jackson collectible.

There was a beautiful white Daewoo Nubira wagon at an impound auction in my town a few years back with only 41k miles. The bidding was downright furious that day.  In the very last minute, the guy who started the bidding at $100 was outdone by yours truly. Thanks to an intimidating wink of an eye which raised the bidding to a stratospheric $110. I remember that I gave him a wry smile with a wink that showed no mercy. He never made eye contact with me again.

Anyhow, I went to try to find an engine for it and you know what? None of the junkyards will sell one to you! It’s that valuable! I think the guys hording those engines are the same ones that won’t let me find a transmission for my 5-cylinder 1993 VW Eurovan.

So if it were me, I would go for the 1999 Daewoo Nubira wagon. Make sure you get the automatic.

You’re welcome.

Sajeev answers:

Steve has this all wrong: how can someone that made me laugh hard enough to cry while typing in WordPress trade up from that sweet-ass Ford Windstar?

You need a BMW 7-series (E38), Mercedes S-class (W140 or W220) or Audi A8 (Type 4D) to really max out your “bang for the buck.” By “buck” I mean the money you give people in your community who thrive by fixing horrible vehicles, horribly.  And by “bang” I mean any of the popular component failures that make doing a motor swap on a 3.8L Ford look like child’s play.

The fully depreciated–yet top drawer–German Sedans have it all for you!

• There’s the air of sophistication and class of a Northwoods Edition Ford product, but more of it!
• The imminent failure of sensors and modules, at prices exponentially higher than O2 sensors!
• A single engine/transmission wear item that leads to a rebuild or replacement: costing as much as a not-shitty, fully machined, replacement 3.8L long block from Jasper with enough money left over to replace the radiator and water pump.
• I have no German counterpoint for FWD minivan transaxles. Any of them!  How sad for me!

But, ask yourself, what’s the icing on the cake I’m offering you?

The Windstar’s cupholders are fine, but it’s a safe bet these uber-lux sedans have non-functional beverage holders!

Now do us all a solid and make sure you buy one from the creepiest person on Craigslist and insist on a complete lack of service records too!  BAM SON, you done won at the Out-Windstar-My-Windstar game!

As a journalist, if you ask an OEM rep about any given car’s redesign or next generation, you’ll undoubtedly be met with a terse “we don’t comment on future product plans”. But if you’re an analyst? Different story.

Yesterday, Morgan Stanley was kind enough to send TTAC a copy of their US Auto Product Guidebook. This 88 page presentation is packed with all kinds of charts, graphs and qualitative information designed to help educate investors about car companies and the product they sell. If you’re a TTAC industry nerd, this is like getting a copy of EVO magazine’s Car of the Year issue.

Within the Guidebook, there was plenty of information on GM’s upcoming product offerings – stuff that’s usually speculation and conjecture in the autoblogosphere and the buff books. But we have reason to believe that Morgan Stanley’s chart is accurate. This is the bank that rolled out New GM’s IPO, and counts Opel head Steve Girsky and GM CFO Dan Ammann (who advised GM on its 2009 restructuring)  as alumni.

Among the products listed in the report:

Buick: A Verano hatchback is apparently due this year

Cadillac: A redesigned SRX is due in 2014 and a Fleetwood – possibly the Ciel/S-Class fighter – will bow in 2015

Chevrolet: For 2013, the Orlando will apparently debut, though we’ve seen no movement on this so far. A “small SUV”, possibly the Trax, is set for 2014, while the Volt CUV is back on for 2015.

GMC: Tumbleweeds

In a month’s time, we’ll have our first look at the new Cadillac CTS, when GM takes the wraps off of its new luxury sedan at the New York Auto Show. The new CTS is merely the first in a wave of new cars for Cadillac, along with the already unveiled ELR plug-in hybrid.

Also confirmed is a coupe version of the ATS compact sedan, which will bow in early 2014. A revamp Escalade is in the cards as well, though a timeline for the flagship SUV is somewhat murky.

The CTS will be an important car for Cadillac, as it positions the car against the BMW 5-Series. The CTS will also be crucial for Cadillac’s expansion in China, and early spy shots show a somewhat more organic design, rather than the hard-edged “Art & Science” design language of the first two generations. No surprise that the changes were driven by, you guessed it, Chinese tastes.

TTAC writers will stoop to any trick to get access to cars. This may be my last post at TTAC because I bribed my way into the ELR and may be removed for ethics violations (a Diet Pepsi was involved.) Fresh off its début in Detroit the ELR may be old news, but since none of the TTAC staff had seen one in the metal, I knew my duty.

Is it a “Cadillac Volt?”  Yes. But what that means is thankfully different now that GM seems to be shunning badge engineering. So it’s a Volt with a different body, different interior, different infotainment systems, a more powerful motor and plenty of tweaks, so it’s not really a Volt at all.

What do you need to know?

It’s a two-door, two-plus-two coupé that places style and efficiency on the same high pedestal. Power is up from 149HP to 207 while torque takes a more modest increase from 273 to 295. Cadillac hasn’t released any weight numbers but we were told that the weight would be largely the same as the Volt since the battery pack is essentially the same. The ELR seems to focus more on handling than economy with wide 245-width rubber all the way around on 20 inch rims.

Did you sit in it?

That’s where the soda bribe came in. The interior is oddly enough the best that Cadillac has made yet. It shares the steering wheel design with the XTS and ATS but the cheap plastic airbag cover is replaced by a leather/suede version. The dashboard is full of angles as you would expect from Cadillac but the materials choices are higher than expected for the most part. As often happens things get a bit less harmonious down on the center console but on the whole it’s a marked improvement.

Cadillac hasn’t announced the important things like sale dates or pricing yet, but you can be sure with wide rubber and a lead foot that the ELR won’t have the same range or economy as the Volt. Does that matter? No. This is what GM should have built first, luxury buyers are more likely to want to pay for gasoline/electric novelty.

BMW’s 3-Series is always the benchmark, always the target, and always on a pedestal. So when GM announced Cadillac would once again “complete head-on” with BMW’s money-maker, the world yawned. Then an interesting thing happened, publications started fawning over the ATS, proclaiming the 3-Series has met its match. Could such a thing be true? Even our own Michael Karesh was smitten by the ATS at a launch event. To find out how the ATS matches up with its German rival, Cadillac tossed us the keys to a loaded ATS 3.6 AWD. Can Cadillac beat BMW at their own game? Let’s find out.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Exterior

While the ATS fails to make a dramatic new statement of Cadillac’s “Art and Science” design, it is the most balanced rendition of the form to date. Compared to the 3-Series, the ATS strikes a more aggressive pose in the parking lot thanks to the hard lines and aggressive stance. Up front, Cadillac has kept the bold angular grille we’re used to, but ditched most of chrome bling found on other Cadillacs. Out back you’ll find a short trunk overhang with a perky tail light/spoiler and “mini-fins.” You may laugh, but I think the resurrection of Cadillac fins and funky tail lamps are some of the best touches on the ATS.

Does that make the ATS better than the 3 on the outside? Not for me, but your mileage will vary. The ATS is undeniably more expressive, flashier and aggressive compared to the plain-Jane A4, dowdy C350 or the elegant (but very reserved) 3. Oddly enough it’s BMW’s understated elegance and limo-like proportions that do it for me. What does that mean for you? If you’re a traditional BMW 3-Series shopper, then the  ATS is more likely to be your thing. If you’re after a soft entry level luxury sedan but the ES350 is “too FWD”, the 3′s long hood, soft suspension and graceful lines will seal the deal. In my mind the 3 and the ATS tie in this category.

Interior

The ATS wears, hands-down, the best production cabin GM has made. The styling may not be your cup of tea, but the interior possessed none of the strange quality concerns I noticed in the new XTS. Does that mean the Caddy has the best cabin in the segment? No, that award still ends up a tie between Audi and Volvo. However, the ATS’s cabin is nearly the equal of the 3-Series. Why nearly? It’s all about consistency.

Everything inside the BMW’s cabin is of a similar quality, from buttons on the dash to the headliner, everything is exactly what you expect from a $30,000-$55,000 car. The ATS on the other hand is full of “highs and lows.” Caddy’s highs include perfect dashboard stitching, comfortable seats and an excellent tiller. Sadly the gauge cluster didn’t get the memo. Instead of the SRX’s funky new three circle gauge cluster, buyers get the frumpy base gauges from the “this is your Grandfather’s Cadillac” XTS. Still, it would all have been OK if Caddy had offered the XTS’s  gorgeous full-LCD cluster as an option, but sadly it wasn’t to be. In our Facebook page’s weekly “hit it or quit it” contest, the ATS’s dials received a unanimous “quit it.” The fervor even spawned a Vellum Venom Vignette. What was all the drama about? Check out the day/night comparison below.

The ATS is available in an impressive array of interior colors, something lacking in many European sedans. While our tester arrived wearing a Germanic black-on-black-on-black ensemble, a quick trip to my local dealer revealed (thankfully) that the tasteful red and black interior and light grey interior with brown dashboard and door treatments were easy on the eyes and plentiful on the lots. Another rarity I noticed is a passenger seat with the same range of motion as the driver’s seat making long journeys more comfortable for your spouse.

When it comes to seating and cargo hauling, Cadillac benchmarked the last generation 3. As a result, front and rear accommodations are comfortable but snug with leg room coming in several inches behind the 3 and A4. The trunk also comes up short at 10.2 cubes vs the 12.4 cubes from the A4 and C350 or the ginormous 17 cubic foot trunk in the BMW. While the ATS represents huge strides in quality from GM, the tighter quarters and lack of consistency shown in cabin trappings gives the BMW the edge in this category.

Infotainment & Gadgets

Today’s compact luxury sedans come with more computing power than a 1990s dorm room. While the Euro players favor infotainment systems driven by a knob and button array, Cadillac has followed Lincoln’s lead with a 100% touch-screen driven interface called “Cadillac User Experience” or CUE. Caddy makes the system standard on all but the base 2.5 and 2.0 turbo models of the ATS although base shoppers can add it as a $1,350 option. The heart of the system is a gorgeous 8-inch LCD. Up till now, most touchscreen systems have used the older “resistive” touchscreen tech which uses a soft, matte plastic surface to detect digits. Displays like this (MyLincoln Touch uses this type of screen) can easily scratch and images can look “fuzzy” since you are viewing the image through the touchscreen layer. Cadillac stuck out their neck and used a more expensive “capacitive” touchscreen with a hard surface that is easy to clean, scratch-resistant, and delivers graphics that are crisper than any system I have seen to date. What was Caddy’s muse? Think iPad.

Cadillac tossed in “natural” voice commands for the entire system (including USB and iPod control), three high power USB ports (capable of charging an iPad), and smartphone app integration. If you want to know more about CUE, check out the video at the top of the review.

In comparison to BMW’s iDrive, the ATS’s touch buttons and iPadesque operation wow for a while, but proved less elegant and less reliable than iDrive after the first few hours. Keep in mind that CUE is in its first release while iDrive is the product of a decade of software development. The difference shows. While I haven’t seen iDrive crash since 2002, CUE crashed several times during the week. In addition, “multi-touch” gestures for “zooming” the map sound cool, but the response time was slow and the process proved more aggravating than useful. Cadillac’s mapping software is a notch below BMW’s in terms of visual appeal and the system just isn’t as intuitive as the latest build of iDrive.

Cadillac counters their “youthful” software with a bevy of standard and available features that you won’t find on many of the non-BMW competition including a full color heads up display, magnetic ride control, cross traffic alert, dynamic cruise control, collision prevention, and front and rear automatic braking in low-speed parking situations. When all the bells and whistles are tallied, the number comes out even, but BMW’s more elegant software gives the Bavarians the edge.

Drivetrain

Competing with the 3 properly, means offering your wares globally and providing a range of small displacement and turbocharged engines. As a result, the drivetrain chart for the ATS starts with a brand-new high-compression 2.5L direct-injection four-cylinder engine designed to battle BMW’s budget 320i. While GM tells us the same engine will find its way under the hood of the Malibu and Impala, Cadillac’s version gets a power bump to 202HP and 192lb-ft with a high 7,000 RPM redline. While this is the engine of choice for rental cars and lease specials, it competes quite well with BMW’s discount 320i with 180HP and 200lb-ft of torque.

Competing with BMW’s 328i (and costing $1,805 more than the 2.5) is GM’s thoroughly redesigned 2.0L turbo. The direct-injection mill packs a serious punch with 272HP and 260lb-ft of twist compared to BMW’s 240HP and 255lb-ft. While Cadillac’s torque curve isn’t as low as the German’s, Cadillac has kept their curb weight low ringing in around 40lbs lighter than the 328i. The difference is small but shows Cadillac was paying attention.

If six cylinders is your thing, Cadillac will jam their 3.6L direct-injection engine under the ATS’s hood for an extra $2,200. The 321HP six-pot cranks out more HP than BMW’s 3.0L turbo I6 (300HP) but delivers less torque (274lb-ft vs 300lb-ft) and of course the lack of a turbo means the 3.6L engine has a torque peak instead of a plateau. Once again Cadillac counters by being lighter, this time by 94lbs.

Regardless of your engine choice, all engines use the same 6-speed GM automatic transmission. If you want to make your BMW owning friends scratch their heads, this is essentially the same transmission used in a variety of BMW 3-Series, X1 and X3 models before BMW started buying the ZF 8-speed. If you opt for the 2.0L or 3.6L engines, Cadillac will drop their AWD system ($2,000) or a Tremec 6-speed manual into the ATS, but sadly the options are mutually exclusive.

As much as I like BMW’s torque-happy 3.0L I6 turbo, Cadillac’s naturally aspirated V6 sounds better. The BMW is still faster to 60 (thank the torque deficit), but the ATS ties with the BMW in my book thanks to the combination of a great sound, no turbo lag and excellent power delivery characteristics. The small turbo match up is more cut and dry. GM’s turbo four cranks out more shove and matches the German mill in terms of refinement. Meanwhile at the bottom of the pile, BMW’s base 320i engine provides more useable power than Caddy’s base engine, but the 2.5L four has a better sound, no lag and is eager to rev.

Refinement and aural sensations are one thing, balanced performance is another and this is where the ATS shines (just not in a straight line). The ATS’s moves on the track are defined by several things: a suspension that is firmer than the sport line 3-Series, excellent weight balance, 225 width rubber on all four corners and “only” six forward gears. Starting with the transmission, while it has a negative impact on MPG numbers, having fewer gears translates into less “hunting” while craving your favorite mountain road. That brings us to the suspension and tires. You’ll find plenty of 335i “sport line” models on the showroom floor with staggered rubber (225 in front, 255 out back) which gives you a bit more traction in the rear for stoplight races. The unequal rubber also causes the 335 understeer a bit more when taking a corner sans-throttle, a situation most drivers find more predictable than oversteer. The ATS on the other hand is extremely neutral in almost every situation. Cadillac’s AWD system turns the moderately “tail happy” ATS into an Audi-esque corner carver sans Audi’s nose-heavy tendencies. Last, and least, the ATS’s steering feel matches or exceeds the feel in the 335i. Why least? Because anything with EPAS is going to be rubbery and numb. If you hadn’t guessed by now, the ATS is the performance winner.

According to my tally sheet, the ATS is one point behind the 3 as we enter the final stretch: pricing. The ATS starts at $33,095 and the new 320i undercuts it at $32,550. If that sounds bad for Cadillac, BMW cuts corners by making leather a $1,450 option among other “decontenting” tricks. For most shoppers the ATS 2.0 is going to be the starting point at $35,795, at which point the ATS is lower than the comparable 3-Series ($36,850) both on paper and at the check out counter. Load up your ATS to the gills with a V6 and AWD and you’re talking $54,000, about $4,000 less than a similar 335xi. Toss in inevitable GM discounts and cheaper financing, and the ATS is the value leader.

Checking back with the tally sheet reveals a dead heat. Is this where the import biased press says “being German gives the 3-Series an extra point“? Not quite. I’m going to resort to an entirely different cop-out: it depends on what you’re after. Huh? Personally, the ATS falls just sort of “beating” the 3-Series, but that’s based on my preferences. If however you’re a BMW fan boy who thinks the new (F30) 3-Series has gone soft (Trust me, it has. That’s why I like it.), the ATS is your “new” E90 BMW. Think of it as E91 by Cadillac. Seriously. The ATS drives like an E90 with a naturally aspirated engine and a slightly dulled steering response. What then is the ultimate driving machine? With BMW succeeding as the “new Mercedes” and Cadillac trying to be the new BMW, your guess is as good as mine. There is one thing I know for sure however: it’s a day to remember when we can talk about a BMW 335 and a Cadillac in the same sentence without any irony.

General Motors provided the vehicle, insurance and one tank of gas for this review.

Specifications as tested

0-30: 1.92 Seconds

0-60: 5.2 Seconds

1/4 Mile: 13.66 Seconds @ 103 MPH

Average Fuel Economy: 23 MPG over 598 miles