Brown Car Afficionados, Buick has your back. While the 2014 Lacrosse’s updates are either cosmetic or related to safety features, Buick boldly chose brown for the press photos. Because nothing says “would you like to upgrade to Premium Full-Size for just $10 more per day?” like a luxurious mocha-hued Epsilon sedan.

Once upon a time, being the “Cadillac of <insert a noun here>” meant something magical. The problem is: it’s been 60 years since Cadillac was “The Cadillac of cars.” While the phrase lingers inexplicably on, GM is continues to play off-again/on-again with a flagship vehicle for the brand. The latest example is the all-new XTS. Instead of being “the Cadillac of flagships,” the XTS is a place holder until a full-lux Caddy hits. Whenever that may be. In the mean time, Detroit needed to replace the aging STS and the ancient DTS with something, and so it was that the XTS was born of the Buick LaCrosse and Chevy Malibu.

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Derek’s capsule review of the 2012 Hyundai Azera gave the car a resounding “meh”. My own impressions weren’t going to be quite so positive, but then something happened: I test drove the Buick LaCrosse and refreshed 2013 Ford Taurus. Suddenly a $37,000 Super Sonata didn’t seem such a bad way to go.

(N.B. Photos of the Lacrosse and Taurus are in the gallery below)

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GM’s track record has been less than stellar. First we had the Saturn Vue Green Line, a very “mild” hybrid that paled next to competitors like the Ford Escape. Next came the extraordinarily expensive 2-mode hybrid system used in GM’s pickup trucks and full-sized SUVs, which cost far too much and delivered far too little. Finally, we have the Volt – ’nuff said. No wonder GM’s latest hybrid endeavor has come to market with little fanfare, no “hybrid” logos on the vehicle and no hybrid branding from GM. Can we honestly call the 2012 Buick LaCrosse eAssist a hybrid?

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 The rivalry between the Buick Lacrosse and the Lexus ES350 may never become the stuff of automotive legend, but for a certain subset of consumers – wealthy men aged 65+ living part time in South Florida – the two vehicles are carefully cross-shopped to determine which car has the plushest ride, quietest cabin and parcel shelf best suited for stacking Kleenex boxes and adjustable-back baseball caps.

Now, the great conjecture machine known as the blogosphere (in this case, GM Authority) is reporting that the new Lexus ES, due out as a 2013 model, will make its Chinese domestic rival look “laughable. That according to one “well-connected auto industry executive”. Based on what we’ve seen from the Toyota product stable, the anonymous gentleman may be on to something.

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I am the electron, the distant particle. Sometimes I know where I am, sometimes I know where I am going, but never do I know both. I look back and see where I was. This time I covered 1,600 miles in sixty-six hours, from Ohio to Indiana to Ontario and back, racing, partying, making videos, lulled to dullness by the long road, sneaking out with the morning light and never really sleeping. This is not On The Road: this is Two-Lane Blacktop. We cannot learn about ourselves; there is no “there” there. But we can learn about this Buick, this uneasy inheritor of a tarnished nobility.

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