Oh dear. Looks like Florida, the wang-shaped state, passed a transportation bill through the Senate with an amendment imposing a $60 fine on truck owners who choose to dangle Truck Nutz (AKA Bullz Ballz, Truck Balls, Bulls Balls) from their trailer hitches. Talk about your tax dollars at work. My opinion on this is pretty cut and dried — what could matter less? Seriously, you want me to believe that a bunch of adults tasked with running one of the most populous and prosperous states in the Union are worried about plastic reproductions of bull testicles? Look, hanging Truck Nutz off your F-150 is stupid. Taking away someone's right to hang said Nutz is even stupider. Remember, if you outlaw Truck Nutz, then only outlaws will have Truck Nutz. And one more thing — this is taking place in Tallahassee, the only state capital that has a drive through liquor store next to a drive through porn shop three blocks down the street. What does that have to do with Truck Nutz? Nothing, but I'm just saying. Yeah, so, you?
62 Comments on “Question of the Day: What’s Your Take On Outlawing Truck Nutz?...”
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I personally loathe these accessories and the mentality that brought them into existence, but I don’t really think that the legislature should be spending its time and taxpayer money on this issue. If they can outlaw these asinine accessories, then it sets a president to outlaw other things that some folks take offence to.
I may not agree with your right to be a complete jackass by hanging these repulsive and idiotic things from your hitch, but I will defend your right (though certainly not to the death) to do so. In times like these, we must “go to 11″ when necessary protect free speech.
I can’t imagine that there are that many people with “truck balls”. On a side note, i wonder how many of the pink editions they have sold. I honestly cannot think of who would buy that color.
Wow, they sure have a lot of balls to do that.
In Florida all you need to get a license is a hearbeat. You can also talk on the phone, apply your makeup, smoke, eat and smack your kids your kids all at the same time while driving like a drunk and swerving all over the road. But you can’t have truck nuts because that would be antisocial. It’s clearly better for your kids to be run over by a distracted driver than it is to be exposed to truck nuts.
Governor Crist – a veto please.
If people are offended by the sight of sack nuts, why the hell didn’t they outlaw the first front end of the Tribeca?
Truly this is a waste of everyone’s time. I wonder what riders passed through on this legislation?
How stupid can you get? Honestly, Truck Nutz don’t bother me one bit, once the “truck nut” behind the wheel doesn’t take a shot at my smaller car. I understand that my humble state of Florida is fighting to ease the housing taxes and what not, but this latest tax move clearly show’s they’re desperate to get money where ever they can IMO. If people have a right to express themselves by hanging fake nutz from their hitch then so be it. There’s a guy at work here who hangs chrome nutz from his Tundra’s hitch (and not the current gen truck either).
Out-of-control silliness + political correctness, nothing more – the legislation to ban low-riding pants didn’t get far, either.
1) Do hanging truck nuts mean you’re an aficionado of Rocky Mountain Oysters?
2) Anti-CHSML version here.
3) I can’t seem to find the bright yellow LiveStrong version, why is that?
Some of these politicians simply need to be replaced.
What next? Castrate all bulls because someone might see their testicles?
Of course, then, once meat prices went up in their state (because of a drop-off in “cow production”), they’d be the first to try to pass a law demanding that the “greedy” meat producers didn’t charge so much…
Imbeciles should NOT be elected. Of course, that would entail not allowing 99% of the current crop of policitians on the federal, state, county and local levels to run for re-election…
Wasn’t it Winston Churchill who said that Democracy was an awful way to run a nation – but it was the best one we (humans) had? Yes it was.
This doesn’t mean I want fake balls off the back of my Prius, by the way.
Just because I personally think something is dumb, doesn’t mean I’m elitist and want to outlaw it! I’m no elitist.
My wife would have a great time psycho-analyzing these on the back of trucks. As it is, any time any big truck blasts past us at 20 over the limit, she wags her little pinky (shorthand for “big engine, little willy”) – as in “compensating, are we, little man?”
Sounds like a logical extension of existing laws against public nudity, obscenity, etc.
Unless they also outlaw truck vulvas, I think we have a pretty good equal protection suit here…
If Nutz are outlawed, only outlaws will have Nutz.
BTW you don’t have to hang Nutz on a Porsche,everyone knows Porsche owners have HUGE Nutz
There’s good bad taste and there’s bad bad taste. I think we all know what kind of bad taste this is. But for the government to be wasting time and money on this at all is more obscene than the thing itself.
Anyway, like all fads, it will be over before you know it. When was the last time you saw one of those highly offensive “Baby on Board” signs in someone’s rear window?
They’d better outlaw them. I don’t want my young children to see them and start asking questions about how baby trucks are made…
Seriously, though, if these are outlawed, people driving behind currently balls-bedecked trucks will lose a simple visual cue regarding the mentality of the driver of said truck. You know, kind of like how peeing Calvin stickers are a tipoff, or the bumper sticker I saw last week, “Why bother running? I’ll still shoot you.” Helpful signs, especially if there’s a fender-bender in the mix.
I always thought truck drivers were d*cks, but it looks like they’re balls instead. Just a joke.
As far as I’m concerned, people can decorate their cars any way they want. Outlawing those just means that our representatives are paid too much to do too little of significance.
On one of the car forums that I frequent one of the members had 2 minor league ballplayers with matching F150s living next door. They both had nuts attached to their hitches.
The guy decided to prank his neighbors by applying pubes to the nuts with vaseline. It was the funniest thing I ever read on a car forum.
I have no problem with legislators considering banning testicles on trucks, provided of course they FIRST balance a budget, not spend more than they collect, fix every road, sack every surly unhelpful moron who works for the state, run a clean election every time, abandon all these “wedge issues”, stop pandering to lobbyists, stop lying to us every time they open their mouths, read the damn Constitution every once in a while to understand the limits of their power, and stop thinking that we work for them, because it is the other way around.
Only when they’ve finished all those tasks can they take up the ludicrously unimportant, zero-priority non-issue of truck nuts.
You can’t legislate morality, or good taste.
–chuck
http://chuck.goolsbee.org
I’m for ‘em.
It lets me know ahead of time that I’ll never, ever be friends with the owner of that vehicle.
I wish there were more filters like this. In fact, I’d like to pioneer some kind of clothing accessory–like a truck nutz belt buckle or something. That way you can spot these idiots when they’re not in their trucks (like it’s a challenge anyway)
Amen to chuck’s post above.
Dragofan:
Ditto that.
Also — here’s a view of the Florida Capital:
http://tinyurl.com/4c4e9l
Truck nutz are a little amusing the first time you see them. After that, they get old quick. The sort of person who would drive around with these on his vehicle all the time really is the lowest common denominator.
That said, I think that the government should have much more important things on their plate than this.
Of all the horses**t.
Good luck getting state government to outlaw (as if people are dressing up to look like Josie Wales) DVD players in sun visors, GPS tvs on the front windshield, car wraps that cover back windows, yammering on cellphones (well, they are gonna try on that one), burned out brake lights (pet peeve – why do so many fairly new cars have dead tail lights?) or anything else that actually blocks vision or distracts people from the the job at hand, but an ornament on a trailer hitch? By God they won’t allow it!
Sheesh.
Wow, a lot of hatred for truck nuts.
Not that I own a pair (is it a pair if it’s one piece?) nor that I own a truck nor that I want to write the Trunk Nuts Manifesto, but I think they have a great value in being counter-cultural to all the political correctness we have to deal with. It’s because people caved on outlawing things like Truck Nuts that you now have to use terms like “downsizing” and “co-sourcing” today.
And seriously, could this question have come from anywhere else except the outer reaches of Jonny Lieberman’s mind?
A few questions:
1. Is there a reason stated as to why they’re outlawing them?
2. Are they illegal only on trucks?
3. Is it illegal to display them inside your truck or does this apply only to trailer hitches?
4. Would it be legal to have a nutsack silhouette sticker on your truck, instead?
5. Would “Nutsack Silhouette” make a good band name?
6. What the hell are they thinking spending legislative time on this crap? Seriously?
I’m especially amused by the guys who hang the blue ones from their truck.
Blue ones.
Just sit with that one a bit.
Mr. Lieberman,
We’re pretty much on the same page. Even though I don’t like these things, talk about a bad road to go down. Next thing you know we won’t be able to have bumper stickers with Calvin peeing on Osama. Doesn’t this infringe on our right to free speech?
The only good thing about this is that maybe a few more little kids won’t have to see them. But, unfortunately, this is a much broader issue.
Here it is Patriot’s Day–happy Patriot’s Day, everyone, this is an important holiday in Massachusetts–and these idiots in the fla legislature are insulting their state, if not the whole country, by wasting their time on THAT???!
Yes, they do look ridiculous, but if the legislature leaves them alone, I suspect they’ll go away all by themselves. They are also useful for telling us what kind of people we’re dealing with when we encounter a vehicle with those things hanging down.
B-Rad,
Little kids?
So… let’s say they outlaw Truck Nutz but then you and little Timmy are sitting in traffic next to a field and there’s a bull with its butt facing you and little Timmy can see its (gulp) nuts? What then!?!
And the family dog!
And he sees you getting out of the shower!
And…. mirrors! The horror! The horror!
The things are tasteless and the guys who hang them on their trucks are stupid, almost as stupid as the politicians who want to ban them. The only good news is that, while these same politicians are wasting time on this nonsense, they aren’t doing real harm.
Mr. Lieberman,
Timmy is not little Christina. Do you want your little girl staring at testicles? Sure, she’ll see them someday, but why should her innocence be compromised earlier than it has to be?
To be honest, though, I barely see these things so I’m not worried about it. That’s where I stand, though. Besides, I’m pretty sure they were recently outlawed here in Virginia, too.
And I notice the photo on the post was changed. Why was that if it doesn’t matter if even little kids see truck nutz?
HarveyBirdman :
April 21st, 2008 at 3:36 pm
They’d better outlaw them. I don’t want my young children to see them and start asking questions about how baby trucks are made…
Hilarious!
@B-Rad: the bill was killed by the VA General Assembly
B-Rad — we changed the photo to illustrate that Florida’s Capital — the very building where this legislation that is going to save poor, innocent little Christina from seeing plastic testicles, looks like a giant set of cock and balls.
They should pass a bill to ban children from looking at the Capital. Or, just ban themselves. And Florida.
starlightmica,
Whoops, missed that report. Thanks for setting me straight. Props to the Virginia Assembly, though.
Mr. Lieberman,
Haha, I see it now. Very nice observation. But I suppose we’ll just have to agree to disagree about Christina.
I disagree
Whoever willfully displays on a vehicle an image or device of reproductive glands, commits a noncriminal traffic violation, punishable as a moving violation as provided in chapter 318, Florida Statutes.
So what does this mean for (B9) Tribeca owners on their way to Disney World?
I could not support going so far as to outlaw these things but they really do bother me. With a family of 5 I really don’t want my kids seeing those. But out here in LA what is worse are all the window stickers proclaiming “F all Raider Haters” and the like…
keepaustinweird :
I may not agree with your right to be a complete jackass by hanging these repulsive and idiotic things from your hitch, but I will defend your right (though certainly not to the death) to do so. In times like these, we must “go to 11″ when necessary protect free speech.
The free speech clause was not designed to protect “all” speech. It was designed to protect your and my opinions, political speech, and religious freedom. It does not explicitly protect or guarantee the “freedom” to say anything one wishes, or to display any image that one feels every child or little old lady should have to look at.
That said, although it’s kind of dumb like those fake bullet holes, or “No Fear” stickers, I couldn’t care less what somebody hangs on or under their truck, as long as they don’t tailgate me or block traffic with their vehicle. I wonder, though, if anybody ever found their truck’s.. er, “adornments” cut off one day? Hey, anything can happen at the mall, and after all, they ARE merely plastic.
So, how much will the selling of Truck Nutz increase after this little debacle? 1000% ? 2000% ?
I agree with you, Truck Nutz are nuts, but the state government a) should have better things to do, b) if they don’t have better things to do, maybe they should just go home, and c) really has no business regulating something that would seem to be an issue of free speech. Did they also outlaw all bumper stickers that contained any of a list of profane words?
I wouldn’t ban them. I’d require the following disclaimer in big, bold letters on the bumper of the “nutty” vehicle: I HAVE THESE ON MY TRUCK/CAR BECAUSE I HAVE NONE OF MY OWN.
wow only in Florida, here we have a state that just pass a law that would allow gun owners to carriy their guns in their car and now they just pass a bill that would fine drivers for havinf nutz/bull balls hanging from their cars….wow I wonder what’s next….
Strippo: Whoever willfully displays on a vehicle an image or device of reproductive glands, commits a noncriminal traffic violation, punishable as a moving violation as provided in chapter 318, Florida Statutes.
So what does this mean for (B9) Tribeca owners on their way to Disney World?
Don’t forget Edsel owners!
JTSParts :
I could not support going so far as to outlaw these things but they really do bother me. With a family of 5 I really don’t want my kids seeing those. But out here in LA what is worse are all the window stickers proclaiming “F all Raider Haters” and the like…
I have a pretty clear memory of the way I reacted to stuff when I was a kid. I would have just thought the whole thing was real stupid. Of course, I’m talking the ’50s and ’60s, but kids I know now would probably react the same way.
what about hanging a big (or small) plastic peanut instead???
what’s really funny is seeing such thing on boy-racer cars…
maybe they’re arguing about it from a ’safety perspective’…
Living in Michigan I seldom have reason to think of my state legislature as being superior to those of other states. But then a story like this comes along. Thanks Florida.
I say if they wanna show the world their(they’re) nuts, have at it.
Now with all these fake Buick ventports…
Whoever willfully displays on a vehicle an image or device of reproductive glands, commits a noncriminal traffic violation, punishable as a moving violation as provided in chapter 318, Florida Statutes.
Wow, the E-type Jaguar is now banned from the State of Florida!
–chuck