I dont get moving violations.
I dont get parking infractions.
My car is in good working order.
And I have all of my documentation.

Maybe Im just a lunatic? My luck isnt too good. Maybe Im just doing stupid things?

I drive a sensible car.. a Red 00 4cycl Accord.

But I might not drive it sensibly. 75-80 average … 90-110 occassionally.

I drive the same route pretty much daily, and I know where the cops are.

Ive gotten bagged in the same place.. like 3 times, because he came up behind me. (Normally he’s in the median) But now I stick with slower traffic.. and keep the speedo around that area under mach 4.

The other areas.. are a crap shoot.

I did get out of one.. it was a weird occasion. I just got done test driving a Mazda 3 5dr hatch feeling all happy and .. and I had basically tailed this cop from where I work in one state.. to basically the end of his jurisdiction. I told him I do this everyday and made a horrible excuse, and took full blame. He let me go.. and I said 5 hail maryies.

My luck.. is pretty damn bad.

I wonder what I could buy.. that would get me looked at.. FOR THE RIGHT REASONS?!

What does happen is, since I’m a lawyer, I receive “professional courtesy” from most DAs and wind up with a non-moving violation.

Long story short, the officer could not get his head around the fact that this was my car & did not cut me a break (hey I’m Canadian so all was polite)…..I fought the ticket in court & 2 years later almost to the day, I paid a small fine with no points….the original ticket was a 4 pointer & $295.00 fine. Have a nice day officer!

Now I’m invisible. And reasonable cautious.

And the problem with speeding seems to be that it’s a cut-and-dried deal, basically revenue enhancement rather than habit-altering, so even if the cop is as nice as can be and perhaps even feels some sympathy for you, he’s still going to give you the ticket. The only times I get off are when I’m wearing my EMS-volunteer uniform and have the green light on the dash. I get tickets 90 percent of the time I’m stopped.

A cop friend once laughed and said to me, after I’d described to him a speeding stop on an empty road, “You have to understand, that’s what we do: we give tickets. You write magazine articles, we give tickets. It’s our job.”

Of course, I worked in a busy area, where we were too busy to worry about a lot of chicken sh-t traffic issues.

I could go on and on about this, but I assure you, when I started with the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s office, I had a captain come into our orientation and take an entire 4 hours about how we didn’t need or have to write citations.

Pulled over at 10:00 PM one night doing 50 in a 35 zone, got speeding ticket, and was told by the cop to plead not guilty. Plead not guilty and went to court and the judge let me slide. Cop said they were there to reduce drunk driving from a local college bar and I just happened by. No points.

Pulled over at 6:00 AM doing 85 in a 55 and was told to slow it down, no ticket.

Caught doing 76 in a 55 and got a failure to obey traffic signs, no points.

Finally caught doing 67 in a 35. Got a ticket for 45 in a 35. 2 points.

In all cases I was guilty as hell and admitted it. Last ticket there was no real discussion. I was going to get a ticket no matter what.

Last year, I got pulled over coming off Rt 28 in Pittsburgh, with my father in the car. I was cited for doing 67 in a 55, and the guy was a real prick, telling me I need to learn how to drive or some crap. As I exited, he pulled me over, but the green jetta that tailgated me (I wasn’t doing 67 either, more like 60) went flying by when I changed lanes to exit. The ticket stated that I was “weaving in and out of lanes” (I wasn’t at all…I was exiting) and that I had a “Green Honda”. I have a black Acura. I have no idea what this cop was on, and it was complete BS. I beat it easily…The judge even told the officer that he needs to get his stuff together and stop wasting citizens time, which I found amusing.

This past Saturday, I got my first taste of a Motorcycle cop with NOTHING to do on Rt. 8 N, and was pulled over for TINT on my vehicle. He even complimented my knowledge of the speed limit and proper driving, then hands me a $108 citation that says “No non-transparent material on the front side windows”. My tint is at 60% VLT. Well within the legal limit, because PA State motor code simply says that you can’t have sunscreening that prevents a person from seeing inside the vehicle. You can see straight through my windows, out the other side, and everything on the other side quite clearly. It’s not like I have limo black on it…not even close. There is no hard number or percentage of light transmission in PA law. AND it just passed inspection without a problem only 6 weeks ago, and the prior year.

I’m fighting it, but I suspect that I’ll lose, because it’s complete BS. They only write this crap if they feel like it…I’ve fought every one except one from 2000. I got caught doing 91 in a 65, while trying to pass a log truck that had a pretty shaky looking load (he had to be doing 80 at least). As soon as I got around the truck and back in the right lane, I saw lights come around it behind me. I explained that the load looked loose, the cop agreed, radioed up for another cop to pull the truck over, and still gave me a ticket, but for 70 in a 65, as he said that he “wouldn’t want to be behind that load either”.

Most likely he was headed home or to something more important.

Are you insane?

Had really bad luck with a parking ticket, though. Damn meter maid slipped a ticket under my wiper while I was asleep in the car.

I was driving a 2001 Saab 9-5 wagon (euro spec.)

Interestingly enough, I got pulled over the other day, (8 months later)
I was doing 103 mph in a 30 mph. zone

I got out of it by crying, and then puking all over the police officers shoes(i really did throw up)

I was driving a Brand new 2008 MINI Cooper Cooper Works Edition. With level 3 Upgrades. Ive put like 20 k into this car. I have dusted everything from Evo’s to civics to WRX STI’S. I bet i could come close to beating a Corvette.

Me, to him, in English: “Dude. I’m lost tourist. I have no idea what in the hell you are saying.”

I must have done something bad because he continued on for some some time in fast and loud Italian. He never took my license (I never offered it), or any papers. I just sat there and looked at him like he was crazy. Then he threw up his hands and stormed off.

I still wonder what I did that pissed him off so much. I’ll never know.

Got off with a warning just once in my whole life. I must have a guilty look on my face. That or I’m ugly.

The first time I was pulled over, I was 18 and driving a Chevrolet Impala quite a lot over the limit. I received a warning, ostensibly for my honesty in ignorance of the limit, but more likely because traffic was too heavy for him to do anything more than eyeball my speed. Still, a nice cop.

The second time was for expired tags, except that they weren’t expired. Some cad had stolen my “200X” sticker they give you when you register, leaving the older one underneath. This was a warning as well.

Times three and four were speeding, both for the same (excessive, 1.6X the limit) speed. Clearly I didn’t learn anything. Ticketed both times. I was in my Malibu, so I can’t attest to the ‘expensive car’ theory.

The last was for (supposedly) violating the Move Over law in Georgia. Followed by two cops, ticketed by one. And he was not pleased. If the judge hadn’t knocked the fine down to $100, I’d have taken this to trial, because I was actually watching out for their safety at the time. Most of the time I deserve the ticket. Not this one.

So, yeah. My luck is neither great nor horrid. Knock on wood.

Strangely, I have always had to go to court to beat them when they were wrong. When they had me fair and square is the only time I got a warning.

Haven’t been pulled over for a moving violation in a decade. Not that I am trying to save gas, but I was warned that a heavy foot would mean transmission rebuild sooner rather than later in my old ‘crusher.