In a post I wrote today for Autofiends, I mentioned that I am so tired of hearing a car described as “handling like it’s on rails.” In part, it’s often because the people that use this term have no idea what they’re talking about, or in other cases are just wrong. Very, very few cars are level in turns and have enough grip to have no under or oversteer in moderate-speed driving. Still, the term is out there, and I’ve heard it (ab)used to describe everything from a Dodge Challenger to an E39 BMW 528i to the Mitsubishi Lancer. My runners up include: dubs, bling, concerns about a regular street car’s top speed, and “car guys.” When it comes to automotive journalism – or just chatting with people that really swear they are “gearheads” – what gives you the red ass?
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This phrase, which I see alot on Autoblog and sometimes TTAC when a new car is introduced: “I’d buy it if it had a manual diesel wagon version.”
or…
“Make it a hatchback and then I’d consider.”
Pbt.
Saved by Zero
I was going to say, “corners as if it’s on rails,” but then I noticed that you beat me to it.
Personally, I’m sick of “D2.8″ or “Big 2.8″.
It would appear that I won’t have to put up with that for much longer.
“If your car feels like it’s on rails, you’re going too slow…” -Truer words were never spoken.
All the car commercials lauding models as “fuel efficient” even though they’re only quoting their highway MPG and it’s not very good when compared to the competition. Dodge especially comes to mind. “Try out the 29 mpg fuel efficient Dodge Caliber!” when it’s actually pretty shocking that it can’t even hit 30 mpg.
“Soft touch plastics”
I’m tired of reading, “At less than $XX,000, the (model name) is a great example of a ‘poor man’s BMW/Mercedes/Porsche/etc.’”
1.”My 19xx Model XYZ gets 58mpg around town while towing/flooring it/having 400 horsepower!”
2. Claiming that one automaker “gets it” because you like what they build.
3. Calling a vehicle a penis or ego substitute.
OK… I’ll admit… I’ve had a couple/few/several/not nearly enough bourbons 2nite…
Itsa loan not a bailout…
From back inda day: “Precision sized” Granada/Monarchs
The Chevette’s “European [amber turn signals] tailights”.
Drive 55 bring ‘em back alive!
Road hugging weight
–verBalkInT
1. “Gas-guzzler” or “gas-guzzling”. Whether it’s true or not, automotive writers need to come-up with something a bit more original. I rarely see the word (acronym) SUV in print anymore without it being preceeded by “gas-guzzling”.
2. “backstop”. This isn’t an automotive term specifically, except in the political sense. If one could summarize 2008 into one word, this would be it.
Here’s what pisses me off: The first paragraph of *every* review of a diesel car I’ve read in the last five years, since it invariably rehashes the same four points:
- Diesels used to be slow and sluggish, but not anymore
- Diesels used to emit huge clouds of black smoke, but not anymore(*)
- Diesels generate more torque and less hp than gassers, and get better fuel economy
- Europeans buy a lot of diesels
(*) Not if you change your injectors regularly they don’t
OK! Enough already! We *get* it!
BTW, I’m not slagging diesels; I’m a former Jetta turbo diesel owner (though I’m happy to slag VW for their quality issues…)
pistonhead
This is easy “BADGE ENGINEERING” and in second place “CRAPTASTIC”.Whatever impact the words once had are long gone.Over use will do that.
1/”Just sayin’.”
2/”A whole bowl of notgood.com…”
3/Any piece of text that uses strikeouts.
4/”cough–Aveo [or whatever]–cough…”
5/”I’m looking at you, GM…”
6/”It looks like a Ford Focus that was rear-ended by a 3-Series while being T-boned by a Mazda3…” or any other facile cut-and-paste of car designs.
I could go on, but we’re immersed in chiches here at ttac. Can’t anybody think of anything original to write? Think, don’t type. THINK.
Probably just me, but whenever somebody refers to wheels and tires, they use the word “wrapped.” As in, “18″ wheels wrapped in xyz tires.” Not sure why, but it just seems odd to me, and it bothers me for some reason.
I also don’t like car enthusiasts constantly being referred to as “pistonheads” but that probably has more to do with the multiple rotary-engined cars in my garage, one wearing the plate NOPSTNS.
I don’t like how the first paragraph of every car review has to end with a question. Usually asking whether it’s as good as a 3 series or Accord, or whether it’s the best bang for a certain amount of buck. You don’t need to pose a question, just tell us about the car. This is how every car review should start off:
http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/nissan-versa/
Climate control. It is not. It is air conditioning.
Referring to tires as ‘meats’.
Referring to a car as having either ‘pavement wrinkling torque’ or referring to it as a ‘ground-pounder’.
Calling brakes ‘binders’.
As an aside, all classified ads that feature the phrase ‘as is’ should have ‘POS’ subbed in automatically.
Romanjetfighter:
Hopefully when Subaru rolls into the USDM with their diesel all of us three pedal oil-burning wagon freaks can enjoy a nice warm glass of SHUT THE HELL UP!
1. “Kicked it into overdrive”
2. “…Or not”
NickR — I might be wrong on this, but my understanding is that climate control is a fancy way of saying “car thermostat” where you control it by setting a target temperature, whereas air con is straight on-off with a few levels of fan speed.
“ish”
“But wait..There’s less!’
That dog won’t hunt”
“Only one at this price”
“Design DNA” needs to be euthanized!
When referring to a mixture a gasoline and alcohol as “gasohol”.
When referring to an automatic transmission as a “slush box”.
And my all-time pet peeve… referring to a conventional differential by saying “It doesn’t have a posi, it only has limited slip”.
From days gone by – “I floored it and it kicked in to passing gear”
Because of that, I thought transmissions actually had another gear just for passing until I got more interested in technical aspects of cars at about age 13.
People who, when talking about their truck’s towing prowess (usually not even a “heavy duty” model) say they “can’t even tell a trailer is back there”. I’m sorry, but I don’t care if you are pulling a 700 lb ATV – if you can’t tell the trailer is there, you are an idiot and have no business towing anything.
What really kills me is when they say that after towing an 8,000 pound load with a half-ton and no trailer brakes. Some people never got over high school…
maniceightball…I know! I just think it’s a silly manufacturers term. Everyone ends up saying a/c anyway.
Oh yes, I am going to add ‘flame surfaced’
“hoon”, “hoonery”, or “hoonage”. as in driving like a hoon.
what the hell is that, a Canadian term?
Tommy231 reminded me of one – when people say that one wheel is the “drive wheel” of a particular vehicle (assuming an open differential). This is another thing that I had wrong as a kid that I learned later on.
In slightly old time marketing speak; I’ve always hated “It’s like a jet cockpit inside” when referring to car interiors.
Jet planes take years of training to use, not something I’d want in a car.
Binders isn’t so bad.
Not specifically a piece of jargon, but magazines’ habit of rubbishing the just-superseded model, as in, “Well, this new model promises to be a vast improvement on its heap-of-junk predecessor”, when in fact said magazine had actually written a positive review of older model at launch.
Also, paragraphs on future models which start like this:
“[Spokesperson X] wouldn’t be tied down on details of the car’s likeliest mechanical layout, price point or on-sale date”
Yes, that is a real piece of ‘journalism’ from a magazine which should really know better.
Related to mikey’s post: “rebadged.”
“Being a (Toyota/Honda/any other non-Detroit company), I know it’s reliable.” Related: “…as if I’d EVER (set foot in/darken the door of) a (GM/Ford/Chrysler) dealership.” Reeks of snobbery to me.
When discussing vehicles thought to be ugly, someone always has to chime it with “don’t forget the Aztek.” We won’t, OK? Related (when discussing crappy vehicles): “…what about the Yugo?” We know.
Calling any police package an “Interceptor.” It’s only correct when referring to Ford. Related: “positraction” for any limited-slip rear end. Positraction is strictly GM, Chrysler called theirs Sure-Grip, and I’m sure Ford had/has a similar trademark.
“Green.” ‘Nuff said.
“XYZ is the new ___”
+1 for pistonhead,
striken textand everything Stephan Wilkinson listed.How about “road hugging weight”?
Or somebody that uses words like “tin can” or “shitbox” to describe any small car?
The opposite when people say, “I need a big car (or heavy car) because I want to be safe”.
“I test drove xyz car and it had great ‘pickup’”
God I hate that term….WTF is “pickup” in regards to a car.
I tend to dislike the way those one-page pre-review reviews of random cars found in the front of car mags like C&D nowadays. Any drier and my head would shrink.
Here’s a list of individual items I can think of that rub me the wrong way. Some of them are just common phrases I hear from people, and others, things I read in editorials.
“Bespoke” (when referring to anything remotely expensive. We know you can get special options for a car, no need to get fancy on us)
“Poor man’s…” (when used to compare two very different things)
“Great build quality” (when used to refer to how well the interior is fitted and finished as opposed to how well everything else is put together)
“If it came in a hatchback…” (when used to refer to something we didn’t get as a hatchback that you never would have bought anyway. ie. 1-series)
“If it didn’t come as a hatchback…” (when used to refer to something we got as a hatchback because they figured we wanted it like that. ie. WRX)
“My…does…better” (when trying to explain how a 1965 imperial that is never driven because of electrical problems, is somehow more reliable, faster, easier to drive, and better than a new sports car)
I could go on, but we’re immersed in chiches here at ttac. Can’t anybody think of anything original to write? Think, don’t type. THINK.
Stephan,
And after thinking and typing, edit. Then edit again. Stephen King’s On Writing says to remove about 1/3.
Calling brakes ‘binders’.
I think that’s a Britishism, like dampers, bonnet, hood (roof), boot, drophead coupes, and wing.
“Bespoke” (when referring to anything remotely expensive. We know you can get special options for a car, no need to get fancy on us)
If that’s how it’s used, it’s incorrect. Bespoke is British for “custom”, as in a bespoke Saville Row suit, where according to Wikipedia, the term originated, where a suit was said to “be spoken for”. Here’s a very cool blog by a Saville Row tailor: http://www.englishcut.com/
Most of the high end mfgs have some kind of customization program. Rolls-Royce calls it their “Bespoke Program”, Ferrari has their Carrozzeria Scaglietti, for when spending $250K on a car just doesn’t have the right cachet.
Calling a convertible a “‘vert.”
Waiting for _x_ new car to “drop,” or “bow.”
S. Wilkenson said….
1/”Just sayin’.” Hmmm. Can be funny.
2/”A whole bowl of notgood.com…” 99% bad.
3/Any piece of text that uses strikeouts. Disagree. If you used properly. See Murilee Martin.
4/”cough–Aveo [or whatever]–cough…” Agreed — lazy.
5/”I’m looking at you, GM…” 50/50 — can be funny.
6/”It looks like a Ford Focus that was rear-ended by a 3-Series while being T-boned by a Mazda3…” or any other facile cut-and-paste of car designs. Mostly awful, except in the case of a BMW 1-Series which does look like a 3-Series that got rear-ended by a 7-series and T-boned by a hippo.
I could go on, but we’re immersed in chiches here at ttac. Can’t anybody think of anything original to write? Think, don’t type. THINK. I’m thinking, I’m thinking…
Since when are cars called ‘whips?’
obscure references
Good think I edited out that Billy Sol Hurok reference to the piece I’m writing.
“Kicked it into overdrive”
My Volvo had an electrical switch, no kicking required.
I like this thread. Also appreciate the discernment thrown in about “handles on rails”.
I personally get pissed sometimes when I here “XYZ has “only” 200hp moving 4000lbs, paltry compared to ABC’s 250hp”. and “Its an Suv so it sucks”.
I also do like dampers being called “shocks” its not smart I think.
I do not like when someone says “Caddilac ougth to be standard of the world” or “GM should have 50% share, but -blank- ruined it”. What the hell, starndard of the world, 50% market share, get real. Life does not revolve around GM, and its ok for them to just build competitive cars, not try to make a magical dream car.
Also “Your car says “whatever” about who you are.” I say kiss my ass.
Maybe the one I hate the most is “I’d buy it if it looked better”. Fuck that, buy good fucking cars, period.
3/Any piece of text that uses strikeouts. Disagree. If you used properly. See Murilee Martin.
Agreed. Strikethrough text is a nice shorthand way to to snark. Or is “snark” now a cliche?
saying a car “looks fast just standing still”.
calling a car’s interior a “gut”.
“handling like it’s on rails.”
I had a friend who used to say that Porsches had “one to one” steering. Sure, F1 and other open wheel track cars have very low steering ratios, but I don’t think any road cars are below 2:1.
I’ve always hated “handles/corners like a slot car”. Some car guys (sorry) like speed, I get off on cars that handle. The first car I bought was a ‘66 Lotus Elan (and still have the four lane 1/32 Revell “Sebring” slot car set I got as a bar mitzvah present). I want the car to go where I point it, to be nimble and follow my input, not to mindlessly go someplace because it has no other option.
I third what Stephan Wilkinson said. Maybe not all the time but the things he mentioned are used far too much. Anything that’s used so much it has become cliche.
N8iveVA
Hoon
http://www.abc.net.au/newsradio/txt/s1639637.htm
The Macquarie Dictionary defines a hoon as “a foolish or silly person, especially one who is a show-off”. But – as I’ve explained before on WordWatch – no one is quite certain where the word hoon comes from. What is its derivation? I asked.
see the article, it seems that “hoon” has several roots, but “hoon” and a “hoon” driver (he’s hooning around again in his GTHO) seems to be a more australian/english description of bad driving habits.
Referring to a vehicle that can run on a mixture of gasoline and corn juice (I don’t care what the ratio is) as “Flex Fuel.”