Hammer Time: The Clunker Cabal

What demographics will win in the recent “Cash for Clunkers” legislation? Well let’s take a gander. In the cars section, all but the last two primarily appeal to folks that are north of the double nickel. Traditional Caddies, laid back Lincolns. Throw in some nasty old British hardware, a couple of misguided pseudo-imports (LS and Aurora), and the guido enriched pre-’92 F-body and you have the whole fleet. Also those who are into old-school Benzes and Q45s should definitely qualify, along with pre-1990s full-sized Detroit metal. But apparently Consumer Reports forgot about them. Oh well. So enthusiasts should get a couple of nods. For trucks?

Seventeen domestics and six imports of recent times. That’s not quite an indictment on Detroit. The list is riddled with cars that made the Legacy Detroit Three very rich until [Hurricane] Katrina. The Astro experienced a 20-year model run. That’s more time than many murderers spend in jail. You also have the F-150, Silverado, S10 V6, and Ram in some of their more expensive 4WD configurations. The big boat Expeditions, Navigators, Suburbans, Grand Cherokees . . . pretty much everything Detroit sold with an old-school V8 or 4WD has a good shot at it.

Finally, on the import side you have the Montero and 4Runner (again 4WD), Sedona and Pathfinder (any one will do). An anonymous second-tier minivan called the Nissan Quest. Oh, and I forgot, the Chrysler Minivans made the list, but only the 3.8L AWD Grand version. So if you’re into 4WD, V8s and luxobarges, congratulations! The government has a nice subsidy for your next Nissan Versa.