So long, Chrysler, it was nice knowing you. Please donate your last few factories to the city governments so that they can refurbish them into low-cost housing or something useful.

That probably means 300 employees get to listen to Nardelli’s retelling of his football glories at some minor league college and how he reduced costs at HD by getting rid of employees that the customers mistakenly thought were part of the operation.

The other bullet points in your excerpt pertain to forthcoming Chrysler technologies. Until some member of the motoring public gets his hands on a Phoenix engine- or advanced-propulsion-equipped Chrysler vehicle, we should refrain from passing judgement. After all, the company hasn’t made any unreasonable claims with regard to these future powertrain systems.

Ms. Rae’s original message was a small bit of good news among the sea of negativity inundating Chrysler. That posters should dismiss what’s largely a factual bulleted list as “spin” and “lies” is almost offensive. Sure, Chrysler’s made more than its share of mistakes over the years, but I’ll never understand how so many take such great pleasure in watching an icon of American industry fail. Why can’t we accept a positive development, no matter how minor, for what it is?

I know exactly what you are talking about! I was in Tokyo this past winter (Akihabara is WAY TOO COOL!!) and the dramatic difference between how customers are treated in North America and Japan is gigantic! Even at a Seven Eleven I was treated with the greatest amount of respect and show of gratitude than pretty much any other time in my life. It was almost surreal!! To many people it may not seem like they’ve missed much by not being treated higher than the person at the register–but once you’ve experienced such a high degree of respect just for patronizing a store to buy a measly bottle of tea, it makes you not want to go back to the humdrum “buy your crap and get out of here” anymore.

Hooray for being treated like royalty! Can Chrysler even be called “luxury??” Lexus prides itself on the way it treats its customers.

Do they also believe in the Easter Bunny?

Now that’s some newspeak doublethink. The next letter will inform all employees that 2+2=5.

A better plan would have been to cut the pay of the top 300 managers thereby instilling a sense of urgency, instead they opted to squeeze their suppliers by 5% and tax their customers with a 2% price increase.

I understand that Bob Nardelli recently had back surgery, perhaps they tried to give him a spin….I am sure his body will reject it.

I have made the following judicious extract from Rae’s exhortation to Chrysler ambassadors. If you don’t see it, you won’t get it:

Investing in our Future with Advanced Technology
. Chrysler is in the midst of a $3 billion investment in advanced powertrains to develop new fuel efficient engines, axles and transmissions.
. ENVI is Chrysler’s in-house organization charged with establishing Chrysler leadership in electric-drive vehicles and related advanced-propulsion technologies.
. Chrysler’s UConnect® is a Bluetooth® enabled voice-activated, in-vehicle, hands-free communications system that recognizes more than 100,000 words and is capable of learning new words. Voice commands can input addresses to the navigation system, select satellite radio stations and access voice mail. New for 2009, the hands-free system automatically downloads up to 1,000 phone book entries per phone.

. Examples of new advanced technologies available on 2009 models include:
. In-vehicle wireless Internet connectivity: coming from Mopar® by year end 2008.
. Rear Cross Path: Chrysler-exclusive system warns drivers of approaching traffic in the parking lot aisle during back-up maneuvers.
. Blind Spot Monitoring: exclusive to Chrysler and Dodge in minivan segment.

I rest my case.

FYI, when likening Chrysler to a “$60 billion startup,” Ms. Rae refers not to the newly private company’s “startup capital,” but rather its annual revenue.

factotum:
American, British, or otherwise, Ms. Rae spelled “Harbour” correctly. Indeed, the productivity report she references is named for its founder, Ron Harbour.

They had a chance to make high-quality, reliable vehicles, but they didn’t.

I was going to say that they had an opportunity to “cover many different market segments with quality vehicles,” but I guess that’s just redundant.

It really does just boil down to COMPETING in the market — with quality vehicles, in a diversified number of segments. But Chrysler has been third-rate in most segments, for decades. It just boggles my mind to see that some people are actually stupid enough to buy the Chrysler vehicles that are truly the worst pieces of junk sold in this country.

“Fooling some of the people some of the time” just isn’t “competing,” in my book….

“We currently have our top 300 leaders going through a comprehensive leadership development program consisting of five segments focusing on strategic thinking, operating excellence and leadership.”

First off, the “comprehensive” aspect implies that Bob and crew are poor leaders. These guys don’t need topping off, their tank is empty.

But then it flat out tells the reader that Chryserberus’s management had no clue what they were getting themselves into. The car biz ain’t for six-sigma heavyweights, is it?

Some things aren’t worth mentioning in a PR letter.

Q: Are you a Democrat or a Republican?

A: I am aggressively conservative.

(I pity the poor soul who claims to be passively liberal)

Word. A worldview consisting of self-deluding happytalk and communicating in obfuscating gobbledegook appears to be a prerequisite for management success in Detroit, much like the Brezhnev-era Supreme Soviet.

The parochial management mentality that drove Chrysler into a ditch is not going to pull it out of the ditch.

Yes, Baghdad Bob would have been proud of Nancy – the corporate speak quotient here was mind numbing.

Sad thing: there are thousands of people like Nancy, spouting absolute nonsense on behalf of their corporate masters, thinking they are doing the world a favor by spinning like tops.

Sad. What the car majors need is a serious infusion of reality, and they’re about to get it, aren’t they.

No way this is 800 words. You should tell her to rewrite it.

I thought the same thing, as I looked at the first paragraph. I didn’t make it to the second.

Anyway, it’s not spin. It’s clueless management bullshit.

I want to know what the other two segments are in the “comprehensive leadership development program”. Any guesses? If those top 300 leaders are all in class, then who’s running the company? Oh, never mind. I just answered my own question.

I know that it’s real easy for some of us to sit here and make snide comments, but damn – it’s like they’re begging for it!

#2, perhaps. But in a shrinking market. Kind of like being the #1 Buggy Whip manufacturer.

Also, how come Mopar is coming out with an electronic gizmo? Didn’t they shut Mopar down?