$112,000 for the Power Cord; Tesla Roadster for Free
By Robert FaragoJanuary 19, 2009
Posted in News Blog | Tesla Death Watch | 20 comments 
Clarkson Pisses All Over the Tesla Roadster, Again
By Robert FaragoJanuary 10, 2009
Top Gear presenter and Times carmudgeon Jeremy Clarkson is not one to walk away form a fight. In fact, you could say he never met a fist he didn’t lunge his towards. After Tesla and the MSM knocked Clarkson for pretending that a Roadster ran out of juice in an episode of the shark jumping car show, Clarkson mounted Ye Olde “Valid Yet Undeclared Fictional Recreation of Theoretical Facts” defense. And that, one presumed, was that. Only, of course, it wasn’t. In Clarkson’s Times column, the world’s most famous pistonhead attempts to disprove the English maxim “the first thing you do when you’re in a hole is stop digging.” “Tesla, when contacted by reporters, gave its account of what happened and it was exactly the same as ours. It explained that the brakes had stopped working because of a blown fuse and didn’t question at all our claim that the car would have run out of electricity after 55 miles.” Uh, yes it did. Anyway… “The problem is, though, that really and honestly, the US-made Tesla works only at dinner parties. Tell someone you have one and in minutes you will be having sex. But as a device for moving you and your things around, it is about as much use as a bag of muddy spinach.” Dodgy handling, high price, yada, yada, yada. And the Roadster’s greatest sin?
Posted in Media | News Blog | Tesla Death Watch | 41 comments
Tesla Motors Responds to Top Gear Review
By Robert FaragoDecember 17, 2008
From egmcartech.com: “For the record: Thanks to The Stig’s impressive turn behind the wheel, the Tesla Roadster gets a higher ranking in Top Gear’s performance board than a Porsche 911 GT3. Jeremy Clarkson, a die-hard ‘petrol head’ with a clear bias against green cars generally, said that it must be ’snowing in hell’ because he had such a great time driving the Roadster and now considers himself a “volt head” thanks to the Roadster’s amazing performance. This is amazingly high praise from Clarkson, whose entire schtick is to savage even his most beloved petrol-guzzling sports cars.
Posted in News Blog | Tesla Death Watch | 48 comments
Tesla Death Watch 41: Tesla Death Watch Ended
By Robert FaragoDecember 11, 2008
TTAC’s Best and Brightest have spoken. TTAC has listened. You’ve asked for less negativity and more car passion non-death stuff (to use the technical term). So I’m cancelling the Tesla Death Watch. The Silicon Valley company has delivered its 100th Roadster– or so they say– and, well, how great is that? I still believe Tesla doesn’t have a hope in Hell of staying in business. But it will take a while for that to play out. We’ll continue to cover Tesla as and when the situation merits. But TTAC won’t be hovering over Elon Musk’s minions vulture-like, waiting for the latest insult or injury. I made my point: they’re a company fuelled by tree-hugging hype rather than solid engineering or accountability. Tesla Death Watch out.
Posted in News Blog | Tesla Death Watch | 53 comments
Tesla Death Watch 40: Or Should That Be Suicide Watch?
By Robert FaragoDecember 10, 2008
Bloomberg reports that Tesla Motors’ self-appointed CEO Elon Musk is threatening to not build its [theoretical] $57,499 four-door electric vehicle at a $250m San Jose factory if Uncle Sugar doesn’t fork-over $350m from the soon-to-be-depleted (or not) U.S. Department of Energy $25b loan program. This must please CA officials no end, as they risked the wrath of the entire Golden State business community by extending “special” tax credits galore to Tesla to “convince” the EV maker to locate production of their [theoretical] WhiteElephant sedan in The People’s Republic of California. (Hey! Didn’t New Mexico do the same thing? With the same result?) “We can’t move forward with that without a major amount of capital,” Musk told Bloomies. “If we don’t get any government funding then what we need to do is we need to wait until the capital markets recover, which could be a year or two years from now.” Or, in Tesla’s case, never. Hang on; $350m? Wasn’t that $400m the last time we looked?
Posted in News Blog | Tesla Death Watch | 33 comments
Tesla Death Watch 39: Li-Ion Rules! Or, Well, You Know…
By Robert FaragoDecember 1, 2008
Tesla’s hubris knows no bounds. Not only has the Silicon Valley manufacturer of $109k lithium-ion-powered carbon fiber sports cars applied for a $400m federal grant to sustain its oft-delayed and hugely unprofitable quest to “reinvent the automobile,” but they’ve also publicly declared that Detroit’s bailout-seeking beancounters should keep their NSFWing hands off Uncle Sam’s $25b retooling loans. (I’d cut and paste the exact quote from their website, but ten seconds of their white-on-black text is enough to short-circuit my optic nerves). The New York Times fired back, pointing out that taxpayer funds should not subsidize expensive toys. Tesla owner Jason Calacanis retaliated in a fit of “just you wait” pique. “The fact is that Tesla could–right now–produce a car that is 1/3rd to half the price if they set it to go only 100 miles. In nine years, they will easily be able to produce a $40k car that does this. Is nine years too long to wait for this technology to reach the price point that 80% of the new-car-buying country could afford? I don’t think so.” Meanwhile, Toyota has seen the EV’s Li-ion Promised Land, and declared “I may not get there with you.”
Posted in News Blog | Tesla Death Watch | 19 comments
Tesla Death Watch 38: Tesla Applies for $400m DOE Loan
By Robert FaragoNovember 18, 2008
Whilst reporting that U.S. Treasure Secretary Henry “Hank” Paulson is telling the automakers “keep your hands off my $700b stack, Jack,” Fox News reveals that Ford, GM and Chrysler aren’t the only automakers looking to tap into the $25b Department of Energy “retooling” loan program. Tiny Tesla Motors has sent in its application for $400m worth of no to low-interest loans, so it can build more $109k lithium-ion-powered two-seaters with less luggage space than a diva’s jewel-encrusted clutch bag. I kid. I kid. I think. “General Motors, Chrysler and Tesla Motors Inc. have applied for loans and Ford CEO Alan Mulally said the automaker plans to apply on Tuesday. GM, Chrysler and Ford have not disclosed the amount of funding they’re seeking from the Energy Department or for what purposes. Tesla said it was seeking about $400 million in loans for two projects.” Let’s see.. they make one car (the aforementioned Tesla Roadster) and want to make another (WhiteElephant). Is it me, or is there some sort ofinternational conspiracy to keep TTAC in mill grist? [thanks to MgoBlue for the link]
Posted in News Blog | Tesla Death Watch | 11 comments
Tesla Death Watch 37: Number 16 Delivered
By Robert FaragoNovember 17, 2008
We’ve often wondered how many cars Tesla has actually delivered to paying customers. The company claims there are some 60 cars out there, somewhere. Well, thanks to Jason Calacanis’ patience over the last two years, we can now bring you this update: 16. Well, at least 16, as Jason has just taken delivery of Roadster number 16 (says so right on the VIN plate). But wait! That’s number 16 after the “Founders’ Series” of 27 Roadsters. So that would be… 43! But wait! Calacanis says the numbers aren’t delivered sequentially. His is 16, but, ’cause he asked for special paint job, cars with higher VIN numbers may have been delivered earlier. Anyway, after an intro that makes the opening credits of the original Batman series seem like a subliminal message, the 169th edition of TWIT (This Week in Technology) reveals all. Calacanis describes the prototype Tesla four-door as an Aston Martin combined with a Porsche and a Maserati, and says Tesla’s problems are now behind it. Which probably means they’re dead ahead.
Posted in News Blog | Tesla Death Watch | 38 comments
Tesla Death Watch 36: Fisker Birth Watch?
By Jonny LiebermanNovember 11, 2008
Tesla Motors recently closed it’s Michigan research facility and fired about a quarter of its workforce. The Silicon Valley start-up might be totally broke and searching for Uncle Sam’s teat, too. Let me rephrase that– they may not have enough cash to remain viable AND they’re looking for a federal bailout/hand out. As you also know (maybe, if you care), Henrik Fisker is set to build a hybrid luxury automobile called the Karma. [ED: not a hybrid between a Mercedes SL/BMW and an Aston, as previous.] Tesla hired Fisker to design their WhiteElephant sedan, After the two decided to part company, Tesla sued Fisker for stealing trade secrets (as if). Fisker won the suit via binding arbitration. They savored the judge’s Tesla tongue-lashing, pocketed a nice chunk of cash for their troubles and publicized the Hell out of the outcome. Long story short, Tesla and Fisker hate each others’ start-up guts. And now Fisker’s announced it’s opening a 34,000-square-foot facility in Pontiac Michigan, good for about 200 employees, where Fisker is planning on building it’s gorgeous four-door Karma hybrid. Fisker says it will offer the Karma in the fourth quarter of 2009. Meanwhile Tesla’s still struggling to produce enough Roadsters to fulfil customers’ deposits. That’s gotta hurt.
Posted in News Blog | Tesla Death Watch | 7 comments
Tesla Death Watch 35: Musk Outs Zhou
By Robert FaragoNovember 3, 2008
Last week was something of a problem for Tesla Motors. After self-appointed CEO Elon Musk announced cutbacks (i.e. fired a bunch of people and closed their Detroit office), Valleywag (amongst others) reported that the Silicon Valley EV maker was down to its last $9m. For a carmaker, that’s like driving on fumes. Well, it turns out that Tesla had a mole in their midst, who fed the Valleywag website inside info. Which is fair enough. God knows TTAC has its spies friends throughout the industry. And the fact that this grass, Principal Thermal Engineer Peng Zhou was outed within the company, is also no big surprise. But the fact that Elon Musk chose to forward Peng’s mea culpa to everyone in the company [full text after the jump], knowing full well someone would leak THAT, is more than slightly worrying. Then again, discretion is not the better part of fanaticism, egomania and old-fashioned cruelty. Or TTAC’s remit, come to think of it. But then we’re in the muckraking business, not EV manufacture. [thanks to you-know-who-you-are]
Posted in News Blog | Tesla Death Watch | 14 comments
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