LeMons

LeMons Update: Black Metal V8olvo Wows ‘Em at the Car Show

By Jonny Lieberman
May 9, 2008 -

Well friends, tomorrow is the big race (my birthday as it turns out). Yesterday, Speed:Sport:Life's own Jack Baruth and I assisted our lead mechanic Dave (aka Hellhammer) put the final touches on the V8olvo. And I'm proud to report, she's beautiful. So beautiful in fact that we simply had to take it down to an every-other-Thursday type car show to let the vintage domestic aficionados know what some seriously grim and frostbitten Gothenburg steel looks like. Surprisingly, they loved it. Actually, it's not so surprising. I mean, what's not to love about a 1984 Volvo 244 stuffed with a Ford 302 and a five-speed? Plus a radiator from a 560SEL. Springs and sway bar from Thunderbird. Oh, and fans. Lots and lots of fans. We figured we might as well show our LeMons racer off to the public before it gets t-boned by a Corrado and appears less, um, shapely. Sigh. Wish us luck, we're going to need it. Or not (evil laughter goes here). Check back here Saturday and Sunday for updates on the LeMony action!

Posted in LeMons | News Blog | 12 comments

LeMons Update: The Black Metal V8olvo Has Paint

By Jonny Lieberman
May 5, 2008 -

The boys hauled the V8olvo (an '84 Volvo 244 with a Ford V8 of some vintage stuffed under the hood) up to Thunderhill for some pre-race diagnostics. The good news: we have good handling, sufficient power and adequate brakes. If you think I'm holding my cards close to my vest, I am. The bad news? A cooling problem and the oil pump seized. But that was before the crew pulled off three heroic 14-hour days in a row. Now we have the radiator from a 560SEL chilling down all 302 cubic inches. In fact, the V8olvo is in such dominating shape that it received a paint job. Yes sir, that's a Swedish Rebel Flag. With the 13 stars of the CSA. Representing what, we have no idea, but Judah Benjamin would be proud.

Posted in LeMons | News Blog | 9 comments

24 Hour LeMons: Carbon Fiber Madness!

By Mike Solowiow
April 29, 2008 -

For Audi fans, Treser was THE modifier in the 1980's and 1990's. The firm created a very quick (and sought after) Audi 5000 Turbo (Audi 200 in Europe), a Quattro convertible (capital Q), and many others. I happened to stumble upon one of Treser's last creations, a slightly used Audi 200 Turbo quattro. While the engine, interior, and body panels were rotted, the carbon fiber hood and trunk-lid were not. Mr. Mehta and Mr. Lieberman, you can no longer call my Audi V8 quattro "fat." Like me, we are both turning into lean, mean muscled machines that will obliterate all Lincolns/Volvos in our path. Quattro uber alles!

Posted in LeMons | News Blog | 19 comments

LeMons Update: We Got Fireproof Suits

By Jonny Lieberman
April 21, 2008 -

Less than three weeks remain before the start of the big race. And if Team Black Metal V8olvo happens to crash during the Altamont leg of the traveling 24 Hours of LeMons circus, at least we won't burn. Plus, since our donor car is at least 79.2% Volvo (what, you missed the Fiero wing?) you know we're totally safe. My Grandma always told me that when a cat poops on your car it's good luck. I'm sure after 700 years of near constant pogroms, a little kitty turd was a pleasant turn of events. I mention this because while I was doing my best Tommie Smith/John Carlos impersonation in the above pic, I stepped in dog shit. Yup, brand new flame-retardant shoes on my feet for less than five-minutes and they're already covered in crap. That's too much Passover wine for you. Still, I'm thinking about not washing the Pyrotech sneaker and changing my racing name from "Necrobutcher" to "Count Stinkfoot." Oh, and for the four of you paying attention, we finally got our team motto figured, "Most Grim and Frostbitten Necrowrenches Bloodlustfully Blaspheming the Forbidden Forsaken Fjord Sacrilegiously Perched Atop the Unholy and Inverted Mountain of Altamont." Mehta, Solowiow, consider your gooses pre-cooked.

Posted in LeMons | News Blog | 5 comments

24 Hours of LeMons: It’s On!

By Mike Solowiow
April 11, 2008 -

Mr. Mehta, and Mr. Lieberman,

I fear not your V8olvo, nor your red-benecked Lincoln, as I have ditched my Audi 4000 quattro beater (due to many eaten axles, a blown head gasket, and more electrical issues than British Leyland) for something truly unholy. For $0, yes, zero dinero, I have scored a full-on, 260bhp (stock!) 1991 Audi V8 quattro. A car so legendary, that it was banned from the IMSA GTO and German DTM series. Come to think of it, quattro has been banned from rallying, IMSA, DTM and probably the real LeMans in the future… from what has yours been banned for "unfair advantage" recently?

Vorsprung durch technik uber alles!

Sincerely,

Captain Mike Solowiow
Future LeMons Champion

Posted in LeMons | News Blog | 36 comments

24 Hrs. of LeMons: Mehta’s Lemon-Aid

By Sajeev Mehta
April 9, 2008 -

Rockabilly's in my blood and somewhere the late, great Charlie Ryan is smiling down on us. Man, they won't know what hit them, 'cause that Lincoln body makes it "look like a pup." Its true, after scoring a wrecked 1995 Mustang GT in the junkyard.  And why not? This pacified Pony Car had the perfect upgrade for a Hot Rod Lincoln eager to stomp on a certain Audi 4000 run by Captain Mike Solowiow: a Tremec T-5 transmission. And yes Mr. Lieberman, its true! V8 Volvos shake in fear, as Dearborn's finest offers a Fox body slushbox conversion sans the (LeMons crippling) cost of a new driveshaft. The price of such pleasure?  All of $65 at Pick-A-Part's half price sale, including a decent flywheel, clutch and cables. And it's precisely why you'll rarely see me shoe shopping, but I'm always down for a boneyard run.

Posted in LeMons | News Blog | 13 comments

LeMons Update: Black Metal V8olvo Is Nigh

By Jonny Lieberman
April 8, 2008 -

As the 24 Hours of LeMons May 10 race date draws closer, my teammates in Northern California continue to clang, weld and bleed all over our Volvo 244 with a Ford V8 stuffed into the bay. Despite the audacity of our entry, we're quite fortunate to have two "veteran" hotrod builders on staff, Wayne and Dave. You know what they say, old guys rule. According to reports from the garage, these two can fabricate, fix or bend anything to their will. Amazingly, Wayne made the Volvo's throttle components work with our Holley carb. Awesome. Other progress notes of note include a completed fuel filler system Sawzalled right through the trunk lid using the factory Volvo cap, a hood scoop (adds several hundred horsepower, no doubt), the majority of the wiring plus the gauges and the brakes are (mostly) assembled. Now all that's left is a series of Herculean tasks that will keep their knuckles bloody red and their dreams filled with terror right up until race day. Pray for Black Metal.

Posted in LeMons | News Blog | 8 comments

Speed:Sport:Life Gets a TTAC-Style Longer Term Cayenne GTS Tester

By Jonny Lieberman
April 8, 2008 -

Earlier I pointed out that Jack Baruth's GT-R prognosticating isn't exactly up to Nostradamian standards, at least as far as Britain goes. But then I remembered that I agree with Jack about most things (he still might be right about Skylines in the USA), so I thought I'd check and see what he and the boys at Speed:Sport:Life are up to. Turns out, they just bought a Porsche Cayenne with a six-speed manual. As Jack explains, "Normally, when a magazine talks about a 'long-term test,' they mean they've finagled a free press car from a manufacturer for somewhat longer than the normal one-week period, but this time we mean long-term. As in, we've managed to drop almost ninety-four 'stacks,' which is to say, $93,800, on a 2008 GTS of our very own." Our kinda dudes. But why on earth would they spend so much on a 4,900 pound, 4-seat SUV with 21" rims? To haul their Dodge Neon ACR race car, of course! True, for that much scratch they could've got the Turbo Porker, but as Mr. Baruth points out, "But which would you rather have: a bare-bones Turbo with cheap wheels and plastic grab handles, or a fully loaded GTS complete with wacky biplane rear spoiler and an Alcantara roof?" Seems obvious to us. Also, their Cayenne has bright red gauges. You just gotta have those. Put it this way, if the BMW X6 came with a row-your-own box, I'd force Farago to buy my LeMons team one. Ooh, wait a second — Jack's on my LeMon's team. Life just got much more interesting. And covered in Alcantara.

Speed:Sport:Life »

Posted in LeMons | Media | News Blog | 4 comments

LeMons Update: The Suspension is Killing Me

By Sajeev Mehta
March 20, 2008 -

As a member of Gen X's muscle car faithful, I hate seeing Reagan-era hot rods victimized by a previous owner's neglect. And our Lincoln's easily subverted air suspension is Exhibit A: mangled air hoses and missing front springs. It's a LeMon Head's worse nightmare, and finding a reliable (i.e. not cracked) pair of air bladders on the cheap ain't no picnic. So is a Fox-tastic conversion to boneyard T-bird coils in the future? Not a bad idea, after I address that crushed radiator support. (At least one of the Lincoln's problems is solved by the ubiquitous BFH.) But still, the well-worn 5.0 purrs like a kitten at idle. And stabbing the throttle brings howls reminiscent of a three-headed dog at the gates of Hades. This is way too much fun.

Posted in LeMons | News Blog | 7 comments

Lieberman: LeMons Bloggin Madness II

By Jonny Lieberman
February 19, 2008 -

Not to steal Sajeev's thunder, but there's already a TTAC team member competing in The 24 Hours of LeMons. Me! Come May in Altamont, California (pleased to meet you…) myself, Jalopniker Murilee Martin, Dubspeed Driven's Jack Baruth and a bunch of hot rod builders will be trying to go the distance in a V8olvo. That's a Volvo DL with a Ford 302 HO shoved into it. Murilee and I spend countless hours (and I'm not kidding — countless) arguing over which car to get. He was gung-ho over Datsun Zs while I wanted the torquey V8 goodness from a first generation Q45. Then a $100 Volvo materialized and the rest will one day be history. Assuming I can find a pair of fire retardant underwear. One last thing, our car will be rattle-canned black and feature the ability to blast death metal down the main straight. Sponsorship opportunities abound…

Posted in LeMons | News Blog | 22 comments