General Motors Zombie Watch

General Motors Zombie Watch 19: You Get What You Don’t Pay For

By Robert Farago
October 22, 2009 OK, so, GM is a nationalized automaker. I know, I know: nationalization is for third world dictators. But there it is. Thanks to outgoing president George Bush, the feds used $50 billion from the Troubled Asset Relief Fund to bail out General Motors, in exchange for majority ownership. So no matter what W's political successor says about his administration's "hands off" non-management of Government Motors, he who owns the gold makes the rules. And when it comes to running a federal-funded organization, Uncle Sam plays by different rules than, say, any private enterprise extent. The bottom line is that there is no bottom line. Amtrak, the U.S. Postal Service, Medicaid---they're all run at a tremendous, ongoing loss. Which means there's zero sense of accountability. Which means they will never, ever be able to fully and fairly compete with privately held corporations. Why should GM by any different? Answer: it isn't.

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General Motors Zombie Watch 18: Hire Buickman

By Robert Farago
October 18, 2009 Back in the day, GM really pissed me off. As the American automaker continued its inexorable slide into bankruptcy, executives, analysts, journalists, loyalists and camp followers scoffed at the prospect of disaster. Their scorn fueled my anger or, as Angus Mackenzie would have it, pompous indignation. When the feds bailed-out and then nationalized GM, the company's refusal to overhaul (keelhaul?) its executive "talent" kept my ire alive. A few months and $50b-plus dollars later and I'm rapidly approaching the point where I couldn't give a NSFW. How many times can you sing the chorus of "Where have all the flowers gone?" without saying FTS and cranking-up the MC5? Before I abandon this pursuit entirely, one last gasp . .

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General Motors Zombie Watch 17: May the Best Automaker Win

By Robert Farago
September 11, 2009

General Motors is a nationalized automaker. But it can't stay that way forever. Its federal taskmasters have decreed that GM must return to public ownership before the Congressional mid-term elections, in 2010. Makes sense. If GM is still on welfare at election time, GM will be an enormous political liability. A symbol of Big Government gone bad. But GM can't possibly achieve profitability within that time frame. Even if it had the brains, it doesn't have the time or money to build what needs building, to fix what needs fixing. The new car market sucks and GM's product planning, reputation and branding are in tatters. So New GM's doing the only thing they can do: putting lipstick on the product pig and sending it off to market. This "May The Best Car Win" advertising strategy will backfire. Badly.

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General Motors Zombie Watch 16: The Russians Are Coming!

By Robert Farago
September 8, 2009

Ron Bloom is a Harvard MBA grad, investment banker and former advisor to the U.S. Steel Workers. He's also the head of the Presidential Task Force on Automobiles, now that Steve Rattner is busy defending his investment firm against bribery charges. Over the weekend, the Obama administration has added Manufacturing Czar to Car Czar in Ron Bloom's portfolio of power. "Bloom is to work with government departments including Commerce, Treasury, Energy and Labor to develop new initiatives affecting the manufacturing sector. The White House said Obama is committed to partnering with the private sector to spur innovation, invest in the skills of American workers, and help manufacturers prosper in global markets by promoting exports." In other words, after nationalizing GM, Obama's mob are now looking to screw-up all the other parts of America's manufacturing base. A quick joke . . .

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General Motors Zombie Watch 15: Volt Jolt for Dolts

By Robert Farago
September 4, 2009

It's been a while since I've written a General Motors Zombie Watch. Time keeps on slipping, slipping . . . into the future. Only when you're dead, there is no future. You're dead. Oh, I know: New GM's got new plans for new cars with new advertising that will win new (old?) customers. And the new Board of Directors' Chairman Ed Whitacre is busy threatening to fire New GM's old (new?) execs if they don't get their shit together. But they haven't, as their farrago of product plans and the botched launch of the new Buick LaCrosse proves. In fact, the current crop of GM suits will be fired. And?

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Editorial: General Motors Zombie Watch 14: 2012 Lineup

By Edward Niedermeyer
August 12, 2009

General Motors has always been long on talk about the future. The company that invented concept cars and pioneered planned obsolescence has always kept consumers focused on the next big thing(s), and that tradition is ever more important now that GM is a publicly-owned entity. Future products are the justification for current investments and subsidies, and GM knows it. Though details are sparse and largely sifted out of the murk of PR leaks, teases and hearsay, a picture of post-IPO GM's 2012 lineup is beginning to form. The success of these vehicles depends on a number of difficult-to-predict factors, but assuming fairly conservative projections (steady increases in US economic growth, auto sales and gas prices), it's not too hard to tease out a few early conclusions on GM's strategy. So let's hop in the time machine and set the dial for the Fall of 2011.

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Editorial: General Motors Zombie Watch 13: Manic Street Preachers

By Robert Farago
August 11, 2009 While General Motors has downsized physically and financially, the nationalized American automaker still suffers from a monumental mental disorder. Today's F5 PR tornado made that point pellucid. In fact, it's hard to know where to begin the diagnosis. We might as well start with the "big news" on the vehicle destined to become GM's Edsel. The General would have you believe that the Chevrolet Volt will achieve 230 miles per gallon in city driving. Yes, well, the Volt is supposed to surmount the first forty-miles on battery power alone. So I make that . . . zero miles per gallon; you know; as it's not using any liquid fuel. Hey! Anyone remember [former] Car Czar Bob Lutz's hand-wringing re: the Volt's gas supply fouling because owners would never use the internal combustion engine? Like that. Quick question: what drugs are these guys on? More accurately, why aren't they taking their meds?

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General Motors Zombie Watch 12: Fear of Music

By Robert Farago
July 24, 2009

When columnist Daniel Howes at the Detroit News gets pissed off enough at GM to write anything other than "we shall see what we shall see," you know the former bankrupt is doing something very, very wrong. The object of Danny's ire: the lack of fresh faces at The New GM. "To read the announcement of GM's new nine-person executive committee, the promotions and the retirements, as I did minutes after it was made public, is to hear the faint strains of Talking Heads singing 'same as it ever was, same as it ever was' and to hear more wailing about the chronically clueless GM." Mind you, Howes isn't calling GM chronically clueless (that's our job). He's angry that "the feds' pay-and-bonus restrictions essentially make it impossible for CEO Fritz Henderson to woo outside talent for inside jobs." Woo-hoo! Howes is on the money; out in the real world, $500K doesn't buy you a reasonable Human Resources manager. But hey, did someone forget the GM stands for Government Motors?

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General Motors Zombie Watch 11: Cadillac Must Die

By Robert Farago
July 10, 2009

General Motors has left bankruptcy behind. The MSM is greeting GM's graduation with guarded not to say advertiser-sponsored optimism. Meanwhile, the populist backlash has begun. Yesterday, for the first time, I heard a "civilian" refer to GM as "Government Motors." And then, another. Even if you discount the protest as right wing rhetoric (I was listening to Fox Talk), it's clear that General Motors is becoming a lightning rod for anti-government sentiment. With tax hikes looming and the federal deficit ballooning, the public is starting to see the "new" General Motors as a symbol of federal impudence, intransigence and impotence. In fact, GM could be President Obama's Iraq: the Gordian knot that strangles his political fortunes. To fully understand the futility of this financial folly, consider Cadillac.

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General Motors Zombie Watch 10: Fritz Henderson Must, Uh, Go

By Robert Farago
July 6, 2009

So how long before New GM fires Uncle Fritz? In the most pragmatic of all possible worlds, where the Presidential Task Force on Automobiles (PTFOA) looked out for the taxpayers' $50 billion as if it were their own---Fritz wouldn't even BE GM's CEO. Henderson would have been defenestrated along with Rick Wagoner. You know: the ex-CEO who groomed Henderson as his replacement. (How hard is it to connect those dots?) Henderson has assured his place in The Peter Principle Hall of Fame, capping his career as the PTFOA's toady. And now, best case, he should follow Old GM onto the scrap heap of history. Not a chance.

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