The Truth About Cars » Chrysler Zombie Watch

Chrysler Zombie Watch 8: “We have to do business different”

Robert Farago — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 15:57:02 +0000

I can hear TTAC's audience wincing at the headline. It should be "differently," not "different." Of course, if you imagine this executive exhortation spoken by an Italian mobster---a reasonable re-imagining given the fact that Chrysler is now controlled by Fiat---it still doesn't work. In that case, it should be "We gotta do business different." Preferably preceded by the word "Hey." This ode to illiteracy appeared in a dealer document comparing Chrysler, Dodge and Jeep advertising's effectiveness to that of Ford and Toyota. (Guess who scored higher?) So, did anyone notice the literary mistake? Seriously; you can concentrate on what Chrysler plans to do different before it goes Tango Uniform, or you can wonder why these guys never, ever sweat the details.

Chrysler Zombie Watch 7: What’s Bothering Ruthie?

Steve Jakubowski — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 11:06:52 +0000

The brilliant lawyer, author, and ex-blogger, Bill Patry (now senior copyright counsel at Google), wrote on his Patry Copyright Blog back in 2005 about the greatest Biblical scholar of all time, Rabbi Shlomo Yitzhak (whom everyone affectionately calls "Rashi".

Editorial: Chrysler Zombie Watch 6: Bankruptcy Prof. Condemns Chrysler C11

Ronnie Schreiber — Sun, 10 May 2009 13:02:03 +0000

David A. Skeel Jr. is the S. Samuel Arsht Professor of Corporate Law at the University of Pennsylvania Law School and author of Icarus in the Boardroom (Oxford University Press, 2005) and Debt’s Dominion: A History of Bankruptcy Law in America (Princeton University Press, 2001). In an article in the free market American Enterprise Institute’s house organ, ” The American,” Skeel says that while the Obama administration avowedly patterns itself after FDR’s New Deal, the deal that the President’s task force on autos has cooked up for Chrysler would actually “make a true New Dealer turn over in his grave.” Prof. Skeel points out that a major aspect of the New Deal was reform of bankruptcy laws that permitted sham sales called “equity receiverships” to bondholders and other creditors.

Editorial: Chrysler Zombie Watch 5: Saving Private Chrysler

Ken Elias — Thu, 07 May 2009 16:40:41 +0000

Saving Chrysler is just stupid. There isn’t one shred of pure economic logic---never mind basic business sense---to rescue this company from liquidation. Yet here we are, watching tax dollars garnered from real earners (individuals and corporations) tossed into a swirling morass circling the drain of history. It’s time to speak up against this misbegotten adventure. And, well, here I am.

Editorial: Chrysler Zombie Watch 4: Bella Macchina?

Edward Niedermeyer — Tue, 05 May 2009 14:37:08 +0000

For all the "Inside Baseball" we play around here, we never forget that this is a car website. And the immediate reason Chrysler has gone under is because its products have been consistently sub-par for several cycles now. With that in mind, we can dissect the financial details of Chrysler's alliance with Fiat all we like, but if it doesn't produce products that sell, it goes nowhere. Car and Driver's analysis of Chrysler's plan (PDF) shows that Chrysler has nothing besides a tarted-up "new" 300C and EV vapor in its new-car pipeline. Which means Fiat's going to have to step up, big style. But are Fiat's products up to the challenge of overcoming Chrysler's brand baggage? And will they translate into the US market success that Chrysler needs to pay off its taxpayer loans?

Chrysler Zombie Watch 3: Zombie Strippers!

Robert Farago — Tue, 05 May 2009 12:48:14 +0000

Proponents of Chrysler's current reinvention often refer to the exercise as a "surgical" bankruptcy. OK, who's the surgeon? As far as I can tell, the people in charge of deciding how to cut-up Chrysler are Chrysler. "Physician heal thyself" is a nice sentiment, but it doesn't normally involve a scalpel. Second, speed. When a patient is bleeding to death, time is of the essence. Chrysler is hemorrhaging red ink. It's one thing to stop the bleeding (as Uncle Sam adds multi-billion dollar cash infusions). It's another to attempt to cure the patient with a knife. And after the health care recipient leaves the theater, well, who expects an amputee to run a marathon? In other words, the operation may be a success, but the patient will still die.

Chrysler Zombie Watch 2: Politics vs. The Rule of Law

Robert Farago — Fri, 01 May 2009 13:14:31 +0000

Announcing Chrysler's bankruptcy, President Obama vilified the "investment firms and hedge funds" who decided to "hold out for the prospect of an unjustified taxpayer funded bailout." No, not the existing unjustified taxpayer funded bailout. The new one. "Some demanded twice the return that we bludgeoned the other TARP-supported lenders into accepting." Obama didn't say that; but he would have if his daughter had made the same birthday wish as Max Reede. Anyway, it turns out the Presidential Task Force on Automobiles can't stand losing, they can't they can't they cant stand losing, they can't they can't they can't stand losing to hedge funds. "I don't stand with those who held out when everybody else is making sacrifices," Obama chided con multo vigore. As intended, Obama's remarks triggered a shit storm from both his supporters and the business community.