Chrysler Suicide Watch

Editorial: Chrysler Suicide Watch 41: R.I.P.

By Ken Elias
October 31, 2008 Chrysler is dead. Look for a Chapter 7 filing soon; that’s a liquidation plan, not reorganization. The judge will part-out and sell ChryCo's few valuable assets to the highest bidders. There will be no “Hail Mary” pass to General Motors, no government rescue, no money from Cerberus to keep its corpse from the grave. Yes, the mythical three-headed dog of Hades does keep souls from escaping Hell, try as they might.

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Editorial: Chrysler Suicide Watch 40: GM Merger A Done Deal. Or A Breakup. Or Something.

By Robert Farago
October 17, 2008 The auto news biz is abuzz with rumors of Chrysler’s endgame. Even a quick scan reveals that there are more potential scenarios and pitfalls than Operation Eagle Claw, America’s ill-fated attempt to rescue its hostages from Iran. Cerberus trades Chrysler to GM for GM’s remaining share of GMAC. Chrysler sells Jeep to Renault and the rest to GM. Chrysler parts out the company and THEN declares Chapter 11. But no matter how this plays out, foot soldiers will be sacrificed, the American auto industry will remain bound and gagged and the generals will get off Scott free.

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Chrysler Suicide Watch 39: “Partnership for technology transformation”

By Frank Williams
August 28, 2008

The following Q&A was published on Chrysler's Firehouse media blog. TTAC republishes it here in its entirety, without editing, to provide insight into Chrysler's call on the public purse, and the ailing automaker's plans for the future. Such as they are... "The campaign season is in full swing, with the Democrats holding their convention in Denver this week, and the Republicans meeting in Minneapolis-St. Paul next week. John Bozzella, Vice President of External Affairs and Public Policy, will be at both conventions, hoping to win over Congressional support for funding the auto industry’s technology transformation to build a new fleet of fuel-efficient vehicles. We talked to Bozzella from Democratic Convention in Denver about the effort.

Q – Why are you in Denver this week and what are you hoping to accomplish?

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Chrysler Suicide Watch 38: Nissan Comes a-Courtin’

By Frank Williams
August 8, 2008

Chrysler doesn't do well outside it own backyard, or play well with others. The American automaker's attempts to expand globally in the early ‘60s ended with Chrysler selling their European operations (Rootes Group, Simca and Barreiros) to PSA Peugeot Citroën. In the 70's, Chrysler off-loaded their Australian subsidiary to Mitsubishi. ChryCo's last U.S. partnership with a Japanese manufacturer (Mitsubishi again) ended on less than cordial terms. The "merger of equals" with Germany's Mercedes-Benz almost [may actually have] killed it. So why would Chrysler entertain the idea of another off-shore partnership? And why would Nissan ever want to partner with an automaker as moribund as Chrysler?

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Chrysler Suicide Watch 37: No Lease on Life

By Ken Elias
July 26, 2008

Chrysler Financial has pulled the plug on new vehicle leases. Given ongoing bankruptcy rumors, the automaker’s co-Prez immediately manned the PR barricades. Jim Press reassured the world that Chrysler is simply diverting lease subsidies into “traditional financing.” That way, “many customers” could enjoy “about” the same monthly payment that they “would have had” in a lease. Meanwhile, ChryCo spokeswoman Shawn Morgan sang the same old song. "Despite the challenges, Chrysler continues to meet or exceed its plan on all financial metrics." C’mon, really?

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Chrysler Suicide Watch 36: Ghosn Fishing

By Michael Martineck
July 11, 2008

The breakup of Chrysler has begun. It’s been done quietly, in the open, but under obnubilating nomenclature. That last phrase says it all. Why lie when you can make the truth so damn confusing? While Cerberus denies imminent sell-off, a cadre of automotive executives has Chrysler on a hook, passing around a felt tip pen. In fact, a pre-break up party is the only way of explaining some of the crazy-ass deals the three-headed dog has been fetching lately.

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Chrysler Suicide Watch 35: Reason to Be Cheerful

By Robert Farago
June 20, 2008

(The following email was sent to Chrysler employees today. It was released to the media with a note which read "'This information should help you cover Chrysler. We also sent it to our employees to help them as ambassadors of the company - Nancy." We leave it to you, our Best and Brightest, to make what you will of it.) 

Keeping Track of the Facts on Chrysler LLC
By Nancy Rae
Senior Vice President, Human Resources and Corporate Communications

As the industry goes through a period of great change and a slowing economy, we all face difficult questions about the status of the industry and our company.  Following are a number of the leading subjects that come up in the media and in our daily conversations, as well as information you need to know and share:

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Chrysler Suicide Watch 34: End Game

By Robert Farago
June 10, 2008

Back when Cerberus bought Chrysler from Daimler, the new owner’s spinmeisters were highly animated. “We’re quicker than quick,” they proclaimed. “Our private equity owners don’t answer to The Street. We can make decisions-- and get things done-- fast.” The party line was designed to counter fears that Cerberus had bought-in simply strip-and-flip Chrysler. Uh-uh. They were going to restructure the ailing American automaker. Right now. And then… nothing. As Billy Preston said, nothing from nothing leaves nothing. 

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Chrysler Suicide Watch 32: Slumlords

By Andrew Dederer
March 25, 2008

It’s getting close to the first anniversary of Chrysler going to the dog. While there’ve been job cuts and “market adjustments,” the shoes are still hanging. Chrysler is still a long way from being profitable. But it appears to be an equally long way from breakup. What exactly is planned? The truth may be that Cerberus isn't “planning” so much as “waiting.”

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Chrysler Suicide Watch 31: False Dawn

By Robert Farago
February 11, 2008

“It’s a New Day.” Unless you’re terminally ill or the guest of a terrorist cell, this observation won’t come as much of a surprise or, in itself, cause much delight. And yet that’s the tagline for the [now] combined Chrysler, Dodge and Jeep brands. In an explanatory TV ad, an animated child tells viewers that the American automaker will [now] listen to YOU and build cars the cars YOU want. The ad is an excellent example of what Adolph Hitler called The Big Lie: a falsehood so "colossal" that no one would believe that someone "could have the impudence to distort the truth so infamously". To wit: if any single automaker ISN’T building the cars YOU want, it’s Chrysler.

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